Hold Me, part I - It's All I Need
by auntytany
Summary: They had wanted the baby kicking inside Santana for so long. They were amazed by how long the road had been to get here, to build the story of their very first born. An incredible story that promised their baby an incredible life.
1. Chapter 1

Her day had been exhausting. Santana had to deal with a fake diva at the studio, whose personality was on par with inanimate objects and whose voice sent ripples of hate throughout her body. She was the girl everyone was talking about, and with an album deadline looming, had chosen to record a few songs with Santana, before backing out and proclaiming that she wasn't good enough, that she couldn't churn out the kind of quality she had expected.

Santana was outraged at the accusations. She was the best, that's why people came to record with her in the first place. Excellence flowed in her veins and in her music. And when left to face girls who thought they had done all-seen all in their first year of the industry really made her blood boil. Coupled with the hormones that shit could get dangerous.

Santana took her bottle of lotion for stretch marks from the coffee table and sat back against the couch with a grateful sigh. She kicked her shoes off and laid her legs on the table, enjoying the moment of silence and tranquility. She took some lotion in her hand and lifted her shirt a few inches up with her thumbs, slipped both hands under the fabric and began to rub her whole stomach slowly, very carefully.

"I like when you're sleepy like this. I don't need another diva right now…" She felt a kick against her side, right under her fingertips.

"Yup, no doubt, you have my genes, She giggled.

She kept rubbing. In all, her bump wasn't so heavy for that of a 6 month pregnant woman, and she rubbed quietly with this thought in her head.

"My sweet, my very responsive sweet little baby…"

A few seconds went by, another kick. She looked at her watch, it was almost 5pm.

"Okay… Mommy won't be back home before 7, so be nice, and let me take a nap, will you?"

No kicks, just flutters, which was a good sign. She needed a break between kicks so she could fall asleep. She closed her eyes, intent on only resting them for a moment.

- o -

Brittany finished the dishes, which she'd tried to do as quietly as possible, so Santana wouldn't hear her from the living room. She dried her hands on a spare tablecloth and walked towards the couch, leaning her elbows against the back and smiling softly down at her wife. Santana had been sound-asleep since she got home. She was cradling her own belly, and sometimes, frowning when she felt the baby kick or move restlessly. Brittany knew she hadn't moved an inch since she fell asleep; Santana could sleep for hours without stirring once. She was that kind of pregnant mama, that once she took a nap, she just bent her head on her shoulder and slept in the same position for hours, wherever she was. And each time Brittany had to wake Santana up, it damn near almost broke her heart.

Brittany sat right next to Santana and kissed her softly on her cheekbone and waited for a minute or two, before stroking her cheek with the back of her hand. Santana's eyes sleepily opened.

"Hey" Brittany said with a tender smile, "sorry to wake you up... It's getting late, sweetheart, I don't want you to sleep on the couch all night."

"Wait, what time is it?"

"Almost midnight."

"The fuck?" Santana's eyes went wide. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Come on, I just made you something to eat, we can eat it in bed!" Brittany smirked at Santana, and with a wink, she convinced her not to worry about the time and just follow her. Brittany stood up and helped Santana to steady herself.

"Did you cook me lasagna?" she asked playfully.

"Yup..."

"Yes!" Santana cried out in her husky voice, while raising her arms up in the air like a crowned champion.

- o -

Brittany went to the kitchen while Santana changed into a very loose shirt. In the wardrobe mirror, Santana noticed her bump had started to really show now, tucked against the fabric of her shirt and her abdomen. She gently rocked her hips back and forth, and watched the shirt move everywhere but on her bump. It made her smile.

"You're so beautiful… It fits you" Brittany put a plate on the bedside cabinet and laid on the bed, crossing her arms behind her head.

"I thought I'd feel like a whale you know… I mean, look at this!" Santana tapped lightly on her sides, "but I like it, I really do. When Mom was pregnant she was so heavy, have you seen the pictures? … I kind of feared it. But it's so perfect… totally rocking it. I'll miss it."

She turned around to face Brittany.

"Hold on San, you can still enjoy it for at least two more months… Baby girl won't disappear!" She grinned, "Come over here."

Santana travelled to the bed, almost dancing on her tiptoes, because, God, she was so hungry, and her cravings for lasagna just got worse every day.

Brittany opened her arms wide, smiling happily, and Santana snuggled into her for a minute, before Brittany put one arm on her shoulder and got the plate with her other. She placed it gingerly San's bump, and turned the TV on.

They watched it for a while, Santana devouring all of her pasta as Brittany remained silent.

Something felt bitter, apprehensive even. When she glanced at Brittany, she saw her eyes staring at nothing, looking lost and preoccupied.

"What is it?"

" Hm?"

"You're not with me right now, tell me what's wrong, sweetheart?"

"What? No, why do you think.."

"Tell me. Don't get the whale angry or I'll eat you." Santana snapped her jaw playfully at her wife and Brittany smiled.

"I... Hmm, it's nothing really. I just..." She took a breath "When I came home tonight, you were so beautiful lying on the couch, with your hands on your stomach. I figured you fell asleep like that because she was kicking, so I put my hands on there too, there were flutters but they stopped, like she doesn't want me to feel her or something. It happens all the time… I just... I wonder if she's gonna love me. It's silly… "

Santana had no words, in fact she could barely believe what she was hearing. "Britt... she..."

"I shouldn't have said it, see, now you're worrying." Brittany kissed Santana softly on the lips, trying to brush off her doubts.

"You're wrong, she loves you already," Santana murmured once they'd broken apart.

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I know that, Britt." Brittany looked up at her skeptically. "Oh don't look at me like that again!"

"Okay then, how do you know?" She lowered her eyes, staring at her hand playing with the edge of the covers, avoiding Santana's eyes.

"Every night, she kicks me so bad it wakes me up and I can't go back to sleep. I tried different positions to ease a bit but …"

"Aww honey, nothing works ?"

"No, no, let me finish goddamn it… And nothing ever worked. But two days ago, I was cold, and tired, and she … kept kicking… and kicking…" Santana sat up tiredly a little, looking straight into Brittany's still troubled eyes. " I didn't know what to do. I needed you, to hold me, just hold me… Just you and me, no baby, no hysterical mood swings, just you and me. "

Brittany looked up, anxiously waiting for what she was about to say.

"So I shook you a bit and you opened your arms in your sleep. I pressed our bodies together, and it felt so good.. Belly against belly. And she stopped. She… stopped right away. I tried again yesterday, and it worked then too."

"San..."

"She knows you, Britt. She knows how good you are to me…"

Brittany bit her lip, awed and warm, before leaning forward to place a light reverent kiss on Santana's neck.

"She's like me. She needs you to calm down."

"I love you, San…"

Brittany took the plate away from Santana's hands, and rubbed her back in slow soothing circles, gesturing silently for her wife to lie down. She put her hand on the back of Santana's head, and leaned her back against the cushions very protectively, almost topping her. She bent down and gave her one of her most desperate kisses, a mix of happiness, need and desire. Lost in the moment, Santana ran her fingers through Brittany's hair when she felt her stroking her lips with her tongue, asking for entrance. She pressed their bodies closer and deepened the kiss, again and again, pressing closer, wanting to be nearer.

Brittany held Santana's thigh higher against her hip and caressed her until Santana felt goosebumps erupt across her skin. Feeling a shiver run the length of her wife's spine, Brittany pulled away from the kiss and moved to pull the covers over them.

"No, no, I'm good, come back…" Santana urged her with a soft desperation. She caught Brittany's face with both hands, and kissed her as if her life depended on it.

- o -

The next morning, Santana entered the studio cheerfully. It was all black wood and blurry mirrors, designer chairs and spotlights all over the place. On the walls were framed posters of Santana's best singers, and in the middle of it, a very tiny Rolling Stone magazine cover which shone through the golden frame "Santana Lopez, Queen of Soul."

"Hi boss !" Carla, her assistant, greeted from her round and large glass desk, handing her a set of keys and a folder full of lyrics.

"Hey, is Puckerman already there ?"

"Yes, I made him wait in your office. I booked Room 3 for you, I guessed you'd use that one today?"

"Yeah, perfect. As always. Make sure nobody disturb us." Santana glanced at the lyrics really quickly. "Did Chang leave that for me herself ?"

"Yes M'am, last night, before I closed."

"Ok, send it back and tell her if she doesn't come up with something else than songs about kissing in the rain and the same old tripe, like really soon, I'd be better off without her slanting Barbie face." Santana handed Carla the folder back, and smiled at her. She walked to the corridor behind the desk turned back and yelled: "Why are we the best, Carla?"

" 'Cause bitches get stuff done, M'am!"

"That's my girl!" And she disappeared down the corridor with a chuckle.

- o -

She unlocked the door and walked into Room 3, followed by Puck, Miranda Bush, a 19 year old and tiny ginger singer in the making, and two sound engineers. This recording room wasn't very large, nor as luxurious as the rest of the building. It was just a mixing table cutting the room in half, next to the door and the recording area's window, and four pale leather armchairs which were incredibly comfortable. It was small, intimate. Perfect.

Everyone made themselves at home. Miranda sat on the bar stool close to the mic and warmed up her voice while Santana and her team talked about how they'd run this session. And Puck... was being Puck, all eyes on Miranda's legs.

Santana opened the speaker, bending as much as she actually could on the mixing table to reach the mic.

"Miranda, Jimmy and Henry will start the instrumental part then you'll just have to give it a shot with the lyrics. Just to see how you'll feel the song, no pressure. Alright?"

Miranda nodded shakily, obviously freaking out.

"Okay, show me what you got." Santana said, gesturing for her team to play the song, and turning the speaker off.

The music started slowly, like the softest ballad you'd ever raised her hand in the hair, and counted from 5 to 0, indicating to Miranda when she had to sing.

"_Whether talks fade into whispers…_

_Whether absence fills days and hours…"_

Santana sighed.

"_If illusion mutters you'll fail me too…_

_Let those words remain through…"_

She glanced at Puck, who seemed totally raptured by the music, evident by the small movements with his closed fist on every beat. In other words, he was avoiding Santana's gaze.

"_Just the way you…"_

Santana turned the speaker on.

"Okay, Miranda, I need just… Hm… I need to check something. Hold on." She turned it off, and Jimmy shut the music down.

"You've got to be kidding me, Puckerman." She hissed at him. "You have to stop bringing your booty calls over and making them believe I'll turn them into Adele 2.0."

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"She has the emotion of a lost puppy! Help yourself and buy new ears, because I swear, her voice is deafening my baby. DEAFENING, Puck."

"Oh come on, hot mama, maybe it's just the song. We can figure something more pop, less emotional, I don't know…"

"You brought her over just to fuck her a little longer, seriously, even with a hundred singing lessons, she'd barely make it for beer ads on German TV. Where did you find this treasure? C'mon, I could use a laugh, tell me," she chuckled darkly.

"Las Vegas."

Speaker on.

"Hey Miranda, what's the Vegas motto?"

"What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, why?"

Santana acknowledged her with a smirk and a flat opened hand rose up in her direction, which made Jimmy and Henry burst into laughter.

"Wait, what?" The girl looked a little lost, tiny under the large headphones over her head.

"Nothing dear, I was reminding Puck of a few rules that shouldn't be violated. Hm, tell me, have you ever considered doing anything else than singing, like modeling, dancing maybe? You have a pretty great body yourself."

"Was it that bad?" Miranda winced.

"Kind of. I appreciate that Puck believed I could do miracles but honey, you're not made for this."

"But I can try harder..."

"I'll let you two discuss that while we're going to work on actual good stuff," Santana said smirking at Puck and turned the speakers off. Miranda began to rage behind the window, all fragility and shyness forgotten.

"You didn't have to do that," Puck sighed.

Henry and Jimmy left the room, indicating to Santana that they'd be taking a small break.

"Do what?"

"Crush her dreams. Just because you don't sing anymore…"

"I know what your point is, and no, I'm not playing hard on her out of bitterness, I'm perfectly fine with myself and so should you. And you need to stop this farce. It's better for her, trust me."

"I don't understand why you quit singing," Puck replied, deviating smoothly from the subject at hand.

Santana tried to stand up from the armchair, but she lost her balance and Puck caught her in his arms. "Hey Mama, careful."

"Thanks… I... hm... I should eat something. "

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I still have some dizziness sometimes, it'll go away after I eat something."

"Do you want me to call Brittany?"

"No, no, it's fine, really," Santana said, extracting herself from his embrace, which became more of a friendly hug than a faint support. "Free your Flaming Holy Bush from her glass tower." She winked, "I'm gonna go rest for a minute in my office." She kissed him on the cheek and tried not to snort as Miranda Bsh began to knock severely against the glass window.

"Okay, but I won't go far if you need anything," Puck said, worry showing through his eyes.

"Seriously, I'm fine" She waved him off and escaped the room and all the pending questions.

- o -

She heard a small knock on her door not half an hour later.

"Puck, I told you I was fine. Get out of my building."

"M'am, I'm here to bring your lunch."

"Oh okay, come in!"

Carla entered gingerly while Santana was lying on a small couch, her neck on an armrest resting on a pillow, her knees on the other, and her legs swinging like a child would. She sat up at the assistant's appearance, and Carla put a tray down on a coffee table right on front on the couch.

"Aaaah lasagna, what a good thing I hired you!"

Carla was about to leave when Santana called her back.

"Take a seat with me, would you?"

This surprised the other woman as Santana made a point of never becoming too intimate with her employees. She was a cool boss, but not that friendly. Carla had been working here for over a year, and all she knew about her boss was what her Wikipedia page would reveal. And because she was a very tough woman, Carla never tried to push or discover more than Santana felt comfortable enough to confess on her own.

Santana appreciated this quality more than any other in any employee, even in a person. She was tired of people too eager to read her mind, as if she was a TV show people were watching. She knew success would need that sort of compromise, but each interview she did hurt her a little more. She'd stopped counting a long time ago the girls she'd hired who actually were there only to get scoops from the inside. How many times had she come home so disappointed, that even out of the spotlights, people still treated her like a Disney World attraction?

But Carla never did. And Santana respected her so much for that. Since she'd hired her, Carla had never failed her. When she'd finally gotten pregnant and her morning sickness was kicking the shit out of her, she feared Carla would run to tell the tabloids about it since she was almost the only one who saw her every day except for Brittany. Of course, she'd made her sign a confidentiality contract when they started working together, but still, she had feared the repercussions.

For naught it turned out. Carla hadn't gone divulging any secrets and Santana had been free to make her public announcement when she was 4 months into the pregnancy, just as she planned. She could trust Carla, she knew it.

"Carla, I have to talk to you about something. I think I …" She eagerly speared some pasta in her mouth, and swallowed. "I think I'm going to take some time off of work."

"But boss, I really need this job and…"

"Stop the rambling, this is not what I'm implying. It's not hard to see that I don't do very well with my pregnancy..."

Carla paused with bated breath.

"I feel like I'm losing all the energy I have left day by day, I feel weak and running the business requires the strength of a bloodthirsty tiger. Look at me, it's barely noon and I'm already wiped out!" She paused, taking another mouthful. "I need you to help me, but this is not what you've been hired for. I'd understand if you're not up for it."

"What's your angle?" Carla asked plainly.

"I need someone to give directions for the studio and the label when I'll be enjoying my cocooning. I can still provide my artistic choices from home, but I won't be able to run the logistical part, neither the appointments. I need you to break the back of the work, and bring me home the most important stuff. It's about making a lot of decisions on your own and not failing me. I trust you with that. But before you decide…" Santana paused again, and she took another bite. She looked straight in the girl's wavering eyes. "This label I created is my life, and this studio my baby. Well, my first baby. This is all I've been fighting for. I can't afford to lose it. If you accept my offer, you'll have to spend a lot of extra time taking care of it just as much as I do."

"M'am, I'm flattered but I don't know if I can r…"

"I trust you to run it, the question is, do you trust me when I say you can?"

"I... hm.. I…"

"You have until next Saturday to make your decision. I know it's rushed. I guess I don't have the choice. I don't trust those stupid guys from others labels who want to partake in my business. I know you could run the place with your heart. You have the choice though. You do have it, I want you to be certain about that, okay?"

She felt a hard kick, the last of a long and painful series, which made her whimper even more.

Unaware of what she should say or even do, Carla remained motionless while Santana recovered from the blows. Santana leant back on the couch, a firm hand holding her side. She began to breathe in and out, slowly.

"I'm in."

"Carla, you need to be sure about th…"

"No, I'll do it. This is my dream you're giving to me. I'd be stupid to waste it out of shyness. I don't need to think about it any longer. I'll do it."

Santana smiled at her. She knew Carla was hiding a beast deep down, and it was finally showing. She was glad. So she stared at her, smiling. "Good," she let out, for her own reassurance.

She dismissed Carla soon after, and finished her lasagna as she read the stack of files piling on her desk. She listened to a few demos and made notes before her lunch break ended. Her schedule for this afternoon was more than full and the mountain of work still left to conquer made her sigh. She called Carla over the intercom, and asked her to take part in all of her appointments.

They were both waiting for the next meeting in her office. They were supposed to meet up with PR agents for the new diva Santana had recorded with. Carla sat on the couch, absorbed by dozens of demos, files, brochures, press releases... she was organizing them in front of her on the coffee table as she'd been told. Santana rested her legs under her desk, busy reading a few papers when, all of a sudden, she felt her baby move roughly and a back pain manifest itself. She lifted her stomach right away.

"Carla, bring me my pillow!"

In a quick move, Carla reached it and rushed to give it to the pained woman. Santana slipped it behind her back and laid back down. It eased the stabbing pain a bit, but nothing spectacular.

"I swear to God she's smashing me from the inside..."

A knock on the door. Their appointment had arrived.

"Awesome" Santana grumbled.

Carla opened the door and made them enter. Santana apologized for not getting up to shake their hand and told them to make themselves comfortable.

"Carla," Santana whispered "Cancel all my appointments for today. If they complain, come up with something, I don't know. But don't postpone! I'll figure something out later."

Her efficient assistant stormed out as Santana kicked off the meeting. When Carla came back, she noticed that her boss couldn't get rid off the expression of mixed pain and worry on her features, even when she talked to the PR team. She cared. Carla really cared about her, and watching her state weaken day by day saddened her deeply. However, she minded her business, helping Santana only if required and directly asked to.

Everyone felt Santana hurry the meeting. Her opinions were harsh, unquestionable. Even if she knew the reason behind her boss behavior, Carla couldn't help but feel impressed by her. She hoped some day, she could have such a sharp eye. The fact that Santana trusted her with that filled her heart with joy.

Santana made the effort to stand up to say goodbye and nodded at Carla to lead them out, leaving her alone in her office once more.

She let her eyes wander on the large window for a minute, offering a breathtaking view of the city skyline. She applied both her hands on her stomach, on the sides of her bellybutton. Her baby was still fidgeting under her touch so she stroked with her thumbs, slowly, smoothly. She was worrying. For her baby, for herself. Pregnancy wasn't supposed to be this hard. She was glad she had made it through the morning sickness, the chest pain, which truthfully had almost finished her. That said, she fully knew she was currently "enjoying" a sickness break before the real business started.

Santana grabbed her phone on the desk and dialed a number she had ecome intimately acquainted with. She kept stroking her stomach with her free hand as she listened to the tone last.

"Langome Medical Center, may I help you?"

"Santana Lopez, I'm calling for my father."


	2. Chapter 2

Brittany was shopping with her sister Chloe, 19, and was enjoying a girly Saturday afternoon at the mall.

"So, he told me Caroline convinced him not to go out with me, cause I so-called hit on this guy last Saturday night. But I didn't! I don't even know who is talking about! He didn't let me explain... He was just saying 'Bla bla bla Caroline would never hurt me bla bla bla'… Fucking bitch, I say!"

They walked close to a baby clothes and furniture shop. Brittany slowed while Chloe kept talking.

"I should just burst her tires. What do you think? Oh! When Santana pops, you so have to save the diapers for me, I'll stuff her locker with'em."

"Hm, hm." Brittany nodded, looking in the shop window.

"Yo sista, earth to Brittany."

"Hm, hm."

She shook her sister's shoulder.

"What?" Brittany was brought back from her reverie.

"We can go have a look you know, I mean, you don't have to stare at the window for half an hour."

"I was thinking, San and I didn't have time to shop baby stuff yet."

"Too busy making out to purge her hormones, yeah…" Chloe chuckled

"Damnit Chloe! You can't help yourself!"

"Blame yo wifey for that. She's the one who perverted me!" She laughed. "So, do we go in?"

Almost two hours later, Brittany had looked at every item in the store, every price, every cloth, even the baby socks were outrageously fascinating. While Brittany was occupied comparing two onesies, Chloe was casually sitting on a wooden chair close to the cash register, playing with her chewing gum.

"Seriously Britt, I think they have everything on their website, now you saw, you can compare online with San or something…"

"Shht, let me see one more thing" And then, Brittany was lost again in her frenzy.

"It's always like that, the first time they shop." The saleswoman said, a very pretty woman in her fifties, looking very old-fashioned. Like a loving aunt who would bring you cookies in a basket just for her own delight.

"What do ya mean?"

"Pregnant women. And your sister's not even showing yet."

"Oh! But she's not pregnant, her wife is." Chloe naturally blurt out.

As soon as the words came out, she regretted it.

The saleswoman didn't really know what to tell Chloe. She hesitated for a minute, debating with herself whether or not she should do what her heart was begging to. She knew she would cross a line, if expressing her thoughts out loud. She usually kept it low profile with her customers. However, it felt wrong not to say something.

Chloe perfectly saw the inner crisis on her features, not knowing what the conclusion would be yet. She tried to find something wise to say, to settle her down, but wisdom wasn't really Chloe's area of expertise. She hoped she wouldn't cause Brittany too much trouble, she has already had enough of that kind of judgmental self-righteous people.

Before Chloe could react, the saleswoman walked towards Brittany, clasping her own hands, on her chest, as if she was praying.

"Miss, you should bring something to your lady."

Brittany glanced at her, her hands full of booklets, and notes. Chloe let out a sigh of relief.

"Oh no, no, really" She laughed "She'd kill me if I choose something without her."

"I believe so. I meant something for her. It's never easy to find your role in that experience, you should find something to remind her you're both creating this adventure… She'd love it." She said in the most compassionate voice ever. Brittany was undoubtedly intrigued.

"What do you have in mind?"

"I can't choose for you, Miss. You'll know when you'll find it." With a smile, the saleswoman left to the back of the store, to help another hysterical pregnant woman yelling on her husband.

Brittany, who was until then obsessed with baby-related stuff, went to the part of the shop devoted to women clothing. Most of it was some comfy night-clothes, very simple tops and loose trousers, nothing really fancy as Santana would like. Though, in a little corner, a shawl took all Brittany's attention. It was a very large black shawl made of silk and cashmere, with a row of golden metal dots on each end, probably large enough for Santana to curl up all her bump and torso in it. It was by far the most sophisticated piece of clothing in store, and Brittany instantaneously pictured Santana wearing it, all warm and cozy.

"That's the one that I want !" Brittany shouted to Chloe, grinning widely and taking the shawl out of the shelf.

"Ooh, ooh, ohh honey, you're the one that I want, ooh, ooh, ooh…" Chloe mocked her sister.

"Did you find something with Newton-John on it? San would love it!" She said, not realizing the sarcasm in her sister's comment.

"Hey, you locked me for the past two hours in this shop, I didn't expect my sanity to last much longer, but all I can see is yours' already lost..."

"Wait, two hours ?"

"Yep M'am, 7 on the dot" She said gesturing a watch on her wrist.

"Shit… We were supposed to be back home by now…"

She put the shawl close to the cash register, waiting the saleswoman to come over and pay.

"Here's the treasure you found?"

"Itself! Can you wrap it up? I wouldn't want her to see it."

"Yes, of course." The saleswoman scrupulously arranged the shawl in a very chic beige box, and closed it with a white ribbon.

….

Meanwhile, Santana was waiting in a cold hospital room. Everything was white, sterilized. There was an attempt of decoration on the walls, some landscape paintings have been hung, but it didn't really warm the atmosphere. She made herself comfortable in the heavy medical chair against the wall, whistling to make time go by quicker. She peeked at all the medical devices on the other side of the room. Behind the door, she heard a deep man's voice chatting with a nurse, it made her smile happily.

"Dr. Lopez! Dr. Blumberg is asking for you."

"Let him know I'll catch him tomorrow, I'm on my last legs. I take this appointment and I'm off for today."

"Okay then! Goodbye Dr Lopez"

Santana stood up, waiting for him.

"Have a nice evening, Lauren". Her dad pushed the door open.

"Mija, you don't have to make an appointment to see your old daddy, you can drop by whenever you want" He hugged her, his hand on her back, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hi Dad" She snuggled into his embrace. "Yeah I know I should come over some more, but you know... workaholic."

"Tell me about it..." He showed her to lay back on the chair and brought a rolling stool around for him.

"So, straight to the point, what brings you here? How are you doing?"

"I'm a little worried, Dad. I'm exhausted. Like zombie-like exhausted. I take all my vitamins, I try to take it slow at the studio, naps and stuff, but... But she moves so much... Maybe I'm just panicking, I don't know…"

"When is your next check-up scheduled?"

"Next month."

"What did Ferguson say last time? She's your obstetrician, right?"

"Yeah. That I had to take it slow indeed, and everything should be fine. But I don't know... I wanted to be sure."

He gave her smile tinged with concern.

"Any back pain, spasms, contractions ? Sleepless nights?"

"Back pain yeah, it got worse these past two weeks." She frowned. "Though, I sleep better now."

"The last blood test results?"

"Clear."

He checked her blood pressure, which was a little low, but nothing that fatigue wouldn't excuse. He palpated her here and there and she complied with few physical therapy movements to relieve her back. He reached the ultrasound as she lifted her shirt. Once he got it all set up, he actuated the device and all Santana could hear was her daughter heart beating strong and fast. She locked her eyes on the screen, and through the shapeless masses, she caught sight of a tiny elbow, and then the head.

"Hello yourself, little ballerina" Her father sang, watching the baby moving, lost for a minute into the pleasure of becoming grandfather for the first time. "How sweet, she's sucking her thumb!"

Santana's eyes were wide-open, her lips genuinely trembling with happiness, as she let her father proceed. She wondered if she could ever get used to watch this wonderful , it totally worth it. He moved the probe, making sure to check everything. She glanced at him for a brief second, read his features expression, because she knew her father wouldn't minimize her condition, and it would be obvious on his face.

"She's strong." He kept checking. Santana remained quiet. "Everything's fine, sweetie. Wanna look a little longer?"

"Yeah..."

"Give me your hand, here, hold the probe." She took it in her hand, and her father placed his over. "Keep it straight, like that" He made her push harder on her own belly. "There, look, her hand is up in your stomach." He squeezed her hand as he pointed the area on the screen with his other hand's forefinger. He led her on her right side. "And there, she's lowering her back, so she'll put her head down soon. She'll start to kick you close to the ribs, but it doesn't ache more at all." He kept going. "And there, her tiny feet." They enjoyed it for a bit.

"Show me her face."

"Her head is right there" He said as he adjusted the probe. Her clear profile was on the screen now. He waited for a minute before releasing his grip, and let Santana interact with her daughter on her own. She didn't move. She was gazing, immersed.

"Look Dad! She's loosening her thumb!" Her voice sounded like her 5 years old self on Christmas morning.

"Yeah, she's yawning."

"Gosh..."

Her dad let out a sight of pride. They stayed like that for awhile. Santana giggled, commented. She learned how to relate her own feelings to her baby's actual moves. They made the pleasure last, enjoying what was the very first family memory of a long series. The baby shifted and all they could see was her back. Therefore he stopped the ultrasound. He handed her tissues so she could remove the gel of her stomach, while he made copies of the sonogram for Dr Ferguson and Santana in the room next door. When he came back, Santana was tidying her shirt. Before she could get back on her feet, he stroked her stomach with his flat hand.

"Spare yourself anxiety, mija. She'll give you plenty of opportunities to worry for the next twenty-five years. Chill out, as long as you can." They smiled at each other. "Come on, let's get a snack, I'm starving, aren't you?"

"Hell yes!"

They went to the staff lunchroom. She admitted Brittany didn't know about this impromptu check-up. Especially since she knew Brittany had a substantial workload waiting for her next week, she didn't want to freak her out with unnecessary worry, considering how sensitive she might be... She was so grateful he made her feel her daughter this way, and compared with the last sonogram she did with Dr. Ferguson, which was obviously way less intense. She explained her plan to leave the studio sooner than expected, what her father avidly approved.

…..

Santana barely had time to ensconce herself in the couch before she heard Brittany and her sister coming back from their all girls break.

"Hi baby" Santana said.

"Hi" Brittany put her bags down and hang her vest on the coat rack in the hall, and Chloe closed the door. They both reached the living room, Brittany first. "Hi", she repeated, as she quickly bent over the couch's back, kissed Santana's lips, and made it last for few seconds. "I missed you." She turned around the couch, and sat close to Santana. She took her hand and put a light kiss on it.

"Yo, Mama Snixx" Chloe and Santana shook hands as the coolest gangsta girls ever, in a chain of movements they did for years.

"What's up, kiddo? I haven't seen you in awhile!"

"Yeah, as if it wasn't your fault and your lame insanely busy schedule." All of them laughed while Chloe wallowed in an armchair around the coffee table.

"Talking 'bout that…Good thing you're here. I have an announcement" Santana suddenly said very seriously, her face pretending to have a bad news to tell.

Brittany moved to the edge on the couch, so she could see Santana most closely. She questioned her by raising an eyebrow.

"I asked Carla to take over my business today. I'll train her step by step, she should make it in about a month, I think. So starting tomorrow, Mama Snixx might need Aunt Wigga to fool around during her big amount of restful and exquisite spare time."

"San, that's awesome!" Taken by surprise, Brittany stood up cheerfully. She leaned down and kissed her again, and again. "Awesome… I'm so glad." Sitting back, she looked at her in awe. "I'm so, so glad, San. God, I was really starting to worry about you, you know." She kissed her again "So happy…"

"Chloe, you're in?" Santana winked, challenging.

"Always down to begin corrupting your child from the inside."

Then, Brittany put Santana through a full examination on her maternity leave organization, what tasks she'd let Carla run first, and how heavy her home work could be. She was relieved to know that Santana thought about hiring a new assistant to help Carla in the daily routine. That way, she'd only be needed for the major decisions, and either way, Carla would kill the preparation for her work left.

They all thought about what Santana and Chloe could do while Brittany was busy working, and what all this brand new information implied, it made them lose track of time. Brittany called her parents, updated them, and let them know Chloe would sleep over that night. Later, Santana drowsed on the couch, hence Brittany took her to bed, kissed her good night, and got the guestroom ready for her sister.

When Brittany was eventually under the covers with Santana, she realized she hadn't give Santana her gift. But it wouldn't matter, Santana too, forgot hers, the copy of the sonogram.

…...

Sunday mornings were Brittany's favorite. She could get her cuddle on for hours, in the subdued lighting of the closed curtains. As usual, both of her phones were off, the front door double-locked. Sunday mornings, that was an unbreakable tradition, were all about kisses, hugs, love and all the good things this world had to offer.

When she opened her eyes, she saw Santana softly snoring on her shoulder, and her hand resting on Brittany's breast. She tenderly kissed her on her messy hairline. Santana stretched a bit, came even closer. Brittany had no words to describe how deeply she loved that. Every single Sunday morning.

She gently rolled Santana over, and kept still like that, her both hands on the small of her back, almost topping her. She blissfully stared at Santana until she woke up.

Santana giggled in her half-sleep.

"Look away Britt" She cleared her throat.

"Good morning, love"

She kept staring, so Santana brought her head up to kiss her. Brittany tightened her embrace, melted their bodies together. Santana lazily put small kisses from under Brittany's ear, to the bottom of her neck. She stroked her cheek, and traveled back up, painfully slow. They breathed together, smelled each other perfume. They sometimes moaned into the kisses they shared, they sometimes whispered love words. Santana caressed Brittany's bare skin under her shirt. They began to barely rock back and forth as they kissed deeper and deeper.

Santana squeezed her thigh in between Brittany's, rolled on the back, dragging Brittany down with her. She pulled her shirt.

"Off…"

Brittany withdrew from their embrace, carefully trying not to shake her as she threw her own shirt to the ground. She freed Santana's chest, undoing the little bow that held her negligee closed. Santana made small movements with her hips, so Brittany could slid her panties down her legs. Santana griped her waist, and pushed her back down fiercely, which almost made Brittany fall on her. With the strength of her thigh, she moved them so they both could be on their side. They swayed harder, their thighs applying more pressure against their centers. Brittany touched Santana's breasts with such tenderness it sent the first waves of pleasure down her spine. She eagerly ran her fingers though the silky blond hair, their tongues dancing on the same rhythm, the one of their heartbeats in unison.

Brittany lowered her hand, took her time to reach Santana's bump, and tickled it lightly. Santana grinned wider and wider, and pinched Brittany's hand.

"Don't tease!"

Brittany laughed into Santana's ear as she pulled her back against her.

"I love you..."

Santana furiously kissed her, as if she tried to steal the words she just heard out of Brittany's mouth.

Brittany let her hand wander lower. And lower. She caressed her thigh, and held it up firmly on her own hip.

"Yes…" she moaned.

"LE FUCK!" Chloe howled from the living-room, followed almost at the same time by the heavy sound of a chair falling on the ground, well, crashing on the ground. "Who the fuck put that goddamn chair in the fucking way!"

They froze.

Nothing came. Not a single sound. Santana let out a small chuckle.

"And it's fucking bleeding now! Great, that's just great. Goddammit! "

Santana laid back pretending to cry, frustrated as Brittany bent her head down on Santana's shoulder.

"Remember me to soundproof our room..." Brittany whined, resigned.

…..

"No, seriously Britt, I swear this damn chair tried to kill me !" Chloe complained while Brittany disinfected her bleeding knee in the kitchen.

"Too bad it failed." Santana said in her most raspy voice. She came in the kitchen, wrapped in a small grey plaid blanket that usually lied around their bed. She scornfully walked next to them and sat on one of the kitchen chairs, as far from Chloe as she could. Brittany softly giggled as she finished cleaning her sister's wound.

"Wow San, somebody drank her cup of killer mood today." Chloe provoked.

"Freaking cock-blocked mood, yeah" She pouted, all wrapped-up in her plaid.

"Pancakes, anyone?" Brittany gleefully interfered, using the food pretext, half-giggling. She closed the first-aid kit, and put it on the closest furniture. Chloe, realizing what she did earlier, shaped her mouth in a large O, deeply inhaling, and watched her sister giggled even more. "Don't push her before she eats" She whispered this low Santana wouldn't hear.

Brittany set the table, Santana cooked, and they ate together. The loving couple shared plates of pancakes and fruits, holding hands and stroking each others' back. Chloe kept it low profile until Santana teased her about her morning smell and with that, Brittany had to referee the jokes war happening at the kitchen table.

Later, Chloe left, she had homework to do back home. Finally on their own, Brittany offered Santana to stretch her legs a bit and they went for a walk in a park. October was really kicking in, there were leaves flying everywhere in the soft wind. They had to wear warm coats, Santana's being ajar since she couldn't do it up anymore. But it was fine, it wasn't cold outside, just cool. They peacefully walked for an hour or so, holding hands and gazing around. Santana wanted to stop for a minute, so they found a bench between two very tall trees, facing a very old bandstand, where two guys, relaxed and enjoying the moment, were playing "Girl from Ipanema" on their guitars.

"I love this song."The notes fluttered in the autumnal fresh air. "Grandma used to sing it to me."

"Isn't it Brazilian ? Isn't she Puerto Rican?"Brittany said, putting back one of Santana's locks wind had moved.

"She loved bossa-nova. She's the one who gave me the taste of music." She waited, listening to the well-played music for a while. "Come !" She reached for Brittany's hand as she stood up. "Come dance with me."

Brittany followed and held Santana's waist close against her. She felt cold fingers play with the back of her neck. They began to sway, slowly rocking back and forth on their feet. She heard Santana humming the melody, almost cheek to cheek. She could have stay there forever. She held her even tighter, never wanting to let her go. She was happy, blessed. The music started to fade away, the musicians slowed the rhythm, and let the last cords vibrations bend with the sound of wind.

They kissed shyly on the lips, and Santana moved to part-off, but couldn't.

"I couldn't have guessed we'll be like this someday..."Brittany said, showing the surroundings with her arm in the air.

Santana kissed her cheek, then her neck.

"Me neither."She snuggled, Brittany putting her arms around her protectively as the wind blew cooler than before. "Me neither.."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback : Few years before.<strong>_

"SANTANA I'M FED UP!"Brittany yelled in their bedroom, she was beside herself, the bed between them serving as a fireline. "I'm so fucking fed up with you! I haven't seen you in three months Santana, THREE MONTHS! And all you can say is 'Sorry baby, I missed you too but I have to go'? THREE FUCKING MONTHS"

"You're not being fair Brittany, I'm not the only to work horrendously, you're not home much more than I do !"

"Oh don't lay that back on me, I relocated all my set to get closer to you before you walked out on me."

"I didn't walked o... DAMMIT BRITT, I WAS TOURING !" Santana had no other choice than raise her voice higher to insist on what she felt was obvious, and unfair.

This day, Santana came back home from her 3 months-long tour through the world. Her schedule had been insane, six to seven shows a week, and Asia has been specifically a pain in the ass because of the jet lag she couldn't get rid off. She was beyond exhausted, but her manager booked her for the Fashion Week in London next week, what she couldn't cancelled.

Brittany was a quite successful director. Her overactive imagination made her create wonderful shows, she travelled just as much as Santana but it was just about few days, or weeks maybe, within the country.

"Guess what ! I'M DONE!" Brittany stormed out of the room, raging in the corridor.

"Britt, don't do that !" Santana ran after her.

"Try me."

"I'll talk to my manager, I promise, I'll call him tomorrow !"

"I don't fucking care about him! If you love me as much as you're pretending to, you'll put more energy into making this work. But you obviously don't."Brittany reached now the hall, and was whipping on her coat.

Santana caught her wrist, slipping herself between Brittany and the front door.

"Move."

"You're not leaving this house. Talk to me... We can figure this out..."

"I said, MOVE"

"I love you..."Santana's voice was pleading.

Brittany tried to break free from Santana's hold, unsuccessfully.

"Talk to me… I love you, Britt..." Santana stepped out of the door, closer.

"I don't know if I still do." Brittany released her wrist forcefully, and escaped.

Santana was left there, in a state of shock. She didn't cry, she didn't move. She stared at the shut door, lifeless.

…..

Brittany was in an assembly room of a film studio. The meeting was now finished and everyone were packing their stuff, still informally debating few ideas for the script they were adjusting.

After graduation, Artie and Brittany believed in their destiny as directors. Artie had a great sense of organization, brilliant ideas, Brittany had a marvelous imagination. Together, they were a great team, and nobody questioned their did few indie films, but they also worked a lot on their own on several projects.

This meeting was about a movie they would make, like back then at the good old days. Both of them had quite a reputation, so they found major investors for this large-scale project, which sounded brilliant.

Luckily she had that kind of stuff to keep her mind busy. She was a mess since Santana and her fought, almost a month ago.

"Why don't you come over to my place tonight, we can order in.. Talk a bit..." He said.

"Nah, it's fine. I'll just head home and sleep."

"Brittany, when was the last time you eat something? You're all skin and bones.. Come over, it could be nice."

She wondered what excuse she could come up with, but all she could think that she only ate an apple that day, and that he was probably right.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to my amazing beta, Jennifer0912 who did such a wonderful work :)

* * *

><p>Later that night like every night, Santana was resting on her favorite couch. She was reading a comedy script of Brittany's while the blonde talked on the phone. Brittany hung up the phone and turned to Santana but was immediately stopped from speaking by loud laughter.<p>

"Seriously Britt, this shit is brilliant, like crazy funny!" Brittany couldn't even answer; Santana was already lost in the biggest fit of laughter ever. "Hey baby, who did they cast in the leading role?"

"Kristen Wiig, hon" The blonde answered, smiling adoringly at the brunette's amusement.

"GLORIOUS!" Santana was still laughing uproariously, she was laughing so hard that tears started to flow down her cheeks. "Oh my god, oh my god, you know what, I'm just gonna stop reading this or we'll be holding our baby wayyyyy too soon!" She said, putting the script back down on the table, and wiping away the tears with the back of her hand.

Brittany swung one leg over the back of the couch and leaned forward and tickled the top of Santana's baby bump.

"No no, keep her warm in your belly," the blonde sighed, "I bet the shooting will be one hell of a mess!"

"No kidding!" Santana chuckled. She shivered, which didn't go unnoticed.

Brittany got up and looked for the shawl she bought the day before. It was still in the hall under the mountain of shopping bags she and Chloe brought back from the store. Since Santana couldn't turn over because of her back, Brittany hid herself from sight and unpacked the shawl, hiding the box behind the couch. She unfolded it, and held it open wide with both hands. She tiptoed back to Santana, and cuddled her from behind. Santana started, a little surprised.

"What is it, Britt?" She said as she took a peek at the soft fabric draped over her.

"A gift." Britt kissed her neck. "So, you'll never be cold without me." Exactly like she guessed, the shawl fully covered the brunette's shoulders, her stomach, and still had room to grow. It was so long, it even covered the top of her thighs. It was made for Santana, no doubt about it.

"Thanks." Santana was deeply moved by Britt's loving care. It was just a shawl, but it was all Santana needed to warm up her at the office, especially when she was missing her cuddles. It was her "little-piece-of-Britt" shawl. It didn't look like an old-lady shawl either; it was really sexy and chic. "It's perfect, thank you, thank you so much!" She looked up at Britt and the love shone from her eyes.

"I'm glad you like it" She smiled, straightening it over Santana's stomach so everything was covered.

"It's so warm and soft." Santana sighed. "I might have a gift for you too." She hesitated to stand up, fearing more back pain. She wanted to make the surprise just as good as Brittany's. She leaned on her side, which made it easier to get up but it was still a tricky move. These days, the baby was really getting heavy.

"Easy San, it can wait." The blonde said in a worried tone.

"I want you to have it now." Santana insisted, so Brittany tried to help her move. Santana insisted Brittany stay where she was. Santana walked slowly towards her purse, holding the bottom of her bump over the shawl, "Close your eyes, Britt!"

"What if I refuse?" She teased before closing them.

"Then my boobs will only be used for breastfeeding for the next six months." She took the sonogram recording out of her purse.

"That's rude!" Brittany huffed.

Santana walked towards the DVD player. "Eyes still closed, Britt! Watch out!'" She turned the TV on, and hit play on the DVD, the sound of a heartbeat filled the air.

Brittany's eyes flew wide-open. Santana sat down next to Brittany at the very edge of the couch, and lay back on the cushions.

"When did you?"

"Yesterday, don't be mad, but she kicked me so hard yesterday morning, I panicked and visited Dad at the hospital. It was all clear, but he still did a sonogram and recorded it for us."

Brittany was almost pissed off at Santana for keeping such a big secret from her. On the other hand, she was deeply amazed by what she was seeing. Just as Santana thought, the recording kept her out of trouble for keeping the hospital visit a secret.

"See, it's so much better than Ferguson's. Look, Dad said that..." Santana started to ramble about every detail, and Brittany listened carefully. Santana wanted Brittany to feel their baby, because she knew she had a hard time with it. She bared her baby bump from all clothing, and asked Brittany for her hands. Her flawless skin was very warm because of the shawl, and so very soft under her touch.

Santana placed her hands over Brittany's, and like her dad did the day before she led Brittany's hands over her whole stomach. She showed her all the baby positions that corresponded to the images on the screen. It didn't have the adrenaline rush of being there in person for the sonogram, but Brittany still loved it very, very much. Santana made her press on her stomach more than she would ever normally do. The baby moved so softly it wasn't enough for Brittany to feel it too.

"That's crazy, now she's calm."

"Yeah, I really wish I could feel her." Brittany said sadly, resolved to accept her motionless fate were their baby was concerned.

"Actually, I asked Dad about that. He gave me an idea, kind of a yoga thing." She took a cushion off the couch and tossed it on the floor, "Baby, can you move the table, please?"

Brittany was confused but she complied. Santana asked Britt to help her sit on the ground, and she assumed the lotus position on the cushion.

"So, the thing is to make her stretch herself. He told me that's why she kicks so bad at night, she's stretching because she has room. I just have to make some for her." Santana said with a smile.

"But won't you be in pain, San?"

"No, not the way he explained, that's the point. It'll ease my back pain, and even if that part doesn't work, it still helps her stretch. "

"Okay then, let's give it a shot." She wasn't really convinced but was willing to give it a try.

Brittany sat on the ground with her and Santana started to do her moves. First, she raised her arms in the air, making her back look suddenly very straight, as she breathed in with all the strength of her lungs. She held that position for a brief moment, and she relaxed, her shoulders dropping an inch down as she exhaled. She repeated the action, and this time, her ribcage seemed a little larger. She repeated it again.

Brittany contemplated Santana's yoga moves patiently. She found it beautiful, and it calmed her down too. It was so slow and smooth. There was absolutely no rush; every breath she took was more peaceful than the last. It was mesmerizing. Santana then bent a little, pushing her arms ahead as far as she could.

"Don't bend too much, Sant..." Brittany started to reach towards Santana with her hands.

"It's alright," She cut in, "don't worry, babe."

She let her head slowly fall between her fully relaxed shoulders; Brittany put her hands back on her crossed legs. Santana took a few deep breaths before going back to her previous position.

"Come here, sit behind me." She motioned for Brittany.

All Santana's muscles were now beyond relaxed. Every disk of her spine felt so nice, and it was like her lungs accepted more air than she could have ever guessed.

Brittany got up, and did as she was told. She placed her front close to Santana's back and let both her arms float in the air on each side of her wife waiting for orders. She spread her legs as wide as she could so Santana would have all the room she need. Santana caught her hands, and precisely placed them, one on the side where the feet were supposed to kick and the other on top.

"I'm gonna lay back a little on you now Britt. God, it feels so good."

She leaned over, just a bit, so Brittany could put her chin on her shoulder. They breathed together, cheek to cheek. Santana dropped her arms on Brittany's thighs, as light as feathers falling. They rested like that, Santana utterly relaxed, and Brittany happy to see her like that, since it was so rare.

"Press harder with your palms, honey." Brittany barely pushed.

"Like that?" She said cautiously.

"Come on, I won't break, neither will she! Try again." She said as she merged Brittany hands with hers.

They waited a few minutes, Santana in pure delight that her father's trick worked so well on her back pain. However, she hoped with all her heart that this trick would also allow Brittany to feel the baby move. She liked the fact she was able to calm the baby down so quickly, but she felt selfish and it was the constant pain that motivated her. She wished more than anything that her baby would let Brittany come into their private bubble. Santana had her whole body to appreciate the baby, her love, her mind; she enjoyed it from head to toe, from unconsciousness to consciousness. She was surrounded by the baby, she had it all. Brittany only had her heart, which cherished their baby. She also longed to feel their baby with her hands, to make it more real. The baby was refusing to give that to her, and it felt just wrong, and unfair.

"She isn't moving, San" Brittany pouted.

"Let's wait a little more..."

Then Santana realized the thoughts she had at the hospital when she was holding the probe during the sonogram. The only thing keeping her from holding the flesh of her flesh was her own thin layer of skin. She remembered their daughter's clear profile on the screen and again it struck her; she wasn't in charge here, she was only a vessel. Their daughter was already alive. This little bundle of life didn't need Santana or Brittany to create her own path. She already had her own secrets and her own personality, as incredibly tiny as she was. She was sucking her thumb, yawning, all without Santana being aware of it. In that sense, she had no more power than Brittany did over their daughter. They were almost fair-equals in this sense, which is exactly what they would be in three months' time.

Santana made herself a little more comfortable in the crook of Brittany's neck. She gently unfolded her legs, and breathed, in and out, again and again.

"San, you feel that?"

A huge wave of emotion poured through Santana's heart.

"It's like.. . rolling under your skin...!"

The baby was stretching her arms, the small of her fist caressing Santana's skin close to the bellybutton. But how could Santana know? She had no clue of what exactly their baby was doing. She realized she was more than okay with this idea, and she just smiled, happily. She let go of her grip on Brittany's hands.

Brittany gasped with amazement when she felt a hard kick on the left.

"Hi there baby girl... Hi..." Brittany cooed enthralled, in a baby voice she got to use for the first time with their daughter. "Does it hurt you San?"

"Not tonight... Hmhmm..." She whispered happily.

Santana closed her eyes, and bent her head back on Brittany's shoulder as she took a kick, and then another. She felt herself fade away, completely intoxicated by joy and feeling at peace. It felt complete. It was all about Brittany and their daughter at this moment, the two of them. Together.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback: Two years before, a month after Brittany left.<strong>_

"Santana... Talk to me..."

Santana's mother Gloria was on her knees pleading with her daughter to speak. Santana was sitting in a chair, eyes downcast, in the middle of Patrick, her manager's office. Her dad was standing close to her manager, arms sadly crossed across his chest.

"Cariña... Talk to me..." Gloria kept pleading. The brunette didn't say a word, she wouldn't even looked up.

Patrick let out a heavy sign in disbelief, "I was supposed to deal with Madonna, not Winehouse."

"And you think you're helping how exactly?" Her mom stood up in a rage.

"Well, I don't know, Gloria! I don't know what to do, she's fucking nuts!"

"Godammnit Patrick, she can hear you! She's not crazy, she's heartbroken."

"Yeah well, I've been heartbroken too, but I didn't stop speaking for months! She's gonna lose all she has if she keeps this shit up. Put her in rehab or something, I don't know, but you gotta do something. This is not my shit anymore."

Gloria rushed over to Patrick and slapped him in the face, her long red nails and rings scratching his cheek.

"Don't you DARE call my daughter your 'shit', asshole! She fucking made you rich, and now you're turning your back on her? Is this how you do your 'shit'?" She went to slap him again, but Jorge, Santana's dad, grabbed her by the waist and pulled her back. Gloria swung wide and slapped air.

"You better deal with your girls better than this Jorge!" Patrick yelled as she looked at the blood on his hand.

"Give her time, Patrick, just give her some time."

"I can't afford time, the Grammy's are due in three weeks, if she doesn't sing until then, I'm gonna lose the record deal. She's gonna lose HER record deal. The label won't trust another Winehouse, you know that."

He had a point, a very good one. However, Santana still refused to talk, her eyes staring blankly at the ground. Lately, her nearly black eyes seemed blank and empty. All she did was stare at the ground and sleep. People kept visiting her, each of them trying to make her talk. Jorge took her to the hospital to see a psychiatrist every week, but she didn't do anything other than listen and stare at the ground. He said she was obviously in a state of shock but was concerned by how long it took to make her interact with people.

She would eat the food her mom cooked for her, she'd take a shower, she'd walk; all in complete silence. Worried to death she'd do something with drastic, her parents made her live at their house, in her old childhood room. They thought the memories would help her and maybe she would at least smile. At least this way they could watch over her all day long. They were relieved it wasn't a drug problem; her body didn't need a cure, only her heart. Still, they were terrified; her heart was a mystery she kept locked in silence. They didn't know how far down she could go, and they had no idea if she was starting to heal, or if her heart was breaking more and more every minute.

This morning, Jorge had driven Santana to Patrick's office. They believed if she kept busy and stuck to her schedule, she'd eventually recover. She'd want to take part again in her own life. Neither Jorge nor Gloria wanted to treat her as sick like everybody else tended to. Jorge repeated to anyone who would listen, Santana was only heartbroken. She was stressed out from all the pressure fame had put on her shoulders. He guessed Patrick had pushed her too far, the fans had demanded a little more than she could actually give. He knew it wasn't the real Santana they were seeing. She was a tiger; she fought hard for what she believed in, if she was giving up on herself, he'd do whatever it took to get her back on track.

In the elevator to Patrick's office, Jorge watched the floor numbers fly by on the little screen. He turned a little, and stared at Santana. Her shoulders seemed to hold the weight of the whole world's pain. He kissed her on the top of her head, whispering sadly, "mija".

He felt guilty. He spent her entire childhood working, and was never at home. He didn't know what her favorite cartoon was; he didn't know which dolls she liked, if she even liked dolls. When she left home, he realized it was too late; too late to create memories, to enjoy the innocence of her childhood.

Gloria told him back then it was alright, Santana would understand that he did his best to provide for all her needs, and save his family from worry. She'd understand, and she did, though she sometimes felt bitter about it, deep in her heart. When Santana had moved out, he felt guiltier than ever. He promised himself never to fail her again, never. Seeing her like this made him feel like he was failing to keep his promise, he kissed her again, rubbing his hand on the small of her back as she continued staring at the ground.

They entered Patrick's big fancy office. He was busy at his desk, and raising his head, he acknowledged them bitterly. They sat on the chairs in front of his desk.

"Jorge," He refused to speak to Santana herself, the lack of answers drove him crazy, "I received the Grammy's invitation. I have to send it back tomorrow. I can't make the decision myself, she has to sign it." He put the card in her sight and set a pen next to it. She slowly looked up and read the invitation.

_THE 61ST ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS_  
><em>Ms. Santana Lopez<em>  
><em>You are cordially invited to attend the 61st Annual Grammy Award show, and to perform the closing number.<em>  
><em>O Attending<em>  
><em>O Not attending<em>  
><em>Signature:<em>

"Santana, this is your last chance." She heard Patrick say, his voice seemed blurry "Your very last chance."

Both Jorge and Patrick expected her to move, to do something, anything. Nothing. She just kept staring at the little piece of beige paper, doing nothing.

"Santana," Her father whispered in a begging tone, "Just sign it, mija, please?"

She slowly, very slowly, took the pen in her hand. She bent over the desk, and with her other hand, she held the paper still. She adjusted the pen and paused over the "Not attending" box. Patrick saw her and sighed loudly, very disappointed. He had hoped, that she wouldn't waste her hard won fame and talent over a stupid relationship. She looked up straight into his eyes. He hasn't seen her eyes in weeks. He felt almost violated by the fear he saw in her eyes. She had that terror you see in the open eyes of corpses. All of a sudden, his throat tightened and the intensity of her look left him speechless.

She looked away and back down and put a cross in the "Attending" box, and signed the invitation.

…..

Brittany was cleaning her parents' house while they were at work. Her sister was playing video games in the living room.

"On the left, on the left, I said on the fucking left, you dumb-ass!" Chloe yelled at the screen, getting up off of the couch and slightly leaning to her left. "MOTHAFUCKAAAA" Her character's car crashed. She threw the joystick to the ground, furiously, "FUCK DAT SHIT!"

Brittany passed by and set the sponge and the cleanser she held on the table, right next to Chloe. She straightened the magazines that were on top of it. One dropped down.

"_SANTANA LOPEZ: REHAB SOON_?  
><em>She hasn't spoken for weeks<em>"

Brittany turned it on the other side, and put it last in the magazine pile. She read more of the headlines.

"_SANTANA LOPEZ: SUICIDE ATTEMPT_"

"Seriously Chloe, can you just stop buying that crap?"

"WHAT?" She was still raging over her game. She looked at her sister. "Oh, that! Eh, no, I love my tabloids."

"Then, could you maybe avoid those with San on the cover?" She raised her voice slightly.

"Oh, you mean avoid the entire magazine department of the store? Besides, I care about her, I wanna know."

Brittany sighed.

"But that's bullshit, you know. What they are saying about her."

"How do you know? How can you be so sure?"

"Santana could never stop speaking for weeks, that's insane. I'm pretty sure that Patrick is behind all the exaggerating. He's a master at creating rumors."

"They leaked an internal hospital memo saying she was being treated for a mental disorder."

"Pfff, bullshit. I don't believe that."

"Well, I do believe it, for your information."

Chloe angrily walked out the room, and Brittany was left there holding the tabloids in her hands. Later that night, she tossed and turned in her bed. It had become kind of a habit by now, tonight her sister's words kept replaying in her mind. "Well, I do believe it".

If they were right, it was terrifying, but we're talking about tabloids. How can I believe them?

She turned in her bed and buried her face in a pillow and grumbled. She sighed. She peeked at the alarm clock on the bedside cabinet, 2:54 AM. She let out another sigh. She got out of her bed and walked towards the living room. She looked for the magazines. She quickly found them and turned on the lights. _"SANTANA LOPEZ: REHAB SOON? She hasn't spoken for weeks. P.8"_ She opened the tabloids so quickly she almost torn the page.

"**_SANTANA LOPEZ_**  
><strong><em>HAS THE QUEEN OF SOUL LOST HER VOICE?<em>**

_The tragedy continues. Santana Lopez is risking everything as she still refuses to speak. Our sources spotted her at the Langome Medical Center, her parents at her side. What happened to the great Queen of Soul to make her lose her voice?_  
><em>According to different sources, the throat cancer rumor was false, she's appears to be healthy. Nervous breakdown? Drugs? Both? Her manager, Patrick Solers, having been chased by the paparazzi until he gave them an explanation for her state reportedly stated, "nervous breakdowns are common in the lives of great artists. We are currently working on how to overcome this tragic episode in her life brought on by the pressure of fame." Mr. Solers refused to answer the question all of us want to know, what caused the breakdown? It seems the cause will remain a mystery. There are too many possible reasons to know conclusively. Too much pressure? Heartbroken? The first appears to be the most credible. We aren't aware of any relationship Lopez has been in lately. We all remember her dating Noah Puckerman, leader of the boys-band The Doomed Cupids, but since the rumors of them being beards broke them apart three years ago, we haven't heard anything about her having an affair, either with boys or girls, for the record. And how could she keep such a secret from us?<em>  
><em>The internal Hospital memo leaked last week doesn't really put our minds at rest either. How many music prodigies have been shot down by their deepest darkest secrets? The most pessimistic of our team thinks that she won't last long. Whenever a soul is lost, it may never come back. Is Lopez to join the ranks of Joplin and Winehouse for the 27 club next year? Only time will tell.<em>"

Brittany's hands were shaking. Again, if this was true, it was indeed terrifying. It couldn't be true. She looked at the picture with the article; Santana was escorted by her father into the Langome Medical Center, her mother in the back, trailed by a bunch of paparazzi. All you could see from her under her very large black sunglasses and her black coat made of fur was her prominent cheekbones, and her lifeless lips. Brittany had no way to know, but Santana's father made her dress like that to hide her lost look, her blind eyes, her body that was thinner than ever, and he chose such a heavy coat to hide her sagging shoulders.

Brittany didn't know what to think. Pictures were misleading all the time, and it wasn't the first time tabloids reported Santana was about to pass-out. Last time, she lost a lot of weight because of her grueling tour, and they claimed she had a drug problem. Brittany didn't believe the article.

But there was something in the picture that was disturbing her. Her father was holding her, by the shoulders. Just the fact that her parents were there felt bizarre. Not that they didn't support their daughter, not at all, but they didn't interfere in her life. Brittany wondered if maybe she went to the hospital to see someone else, her grandmother maybe. But her parents looked concerned, not sad if that were the case. There was something weird about this picture, something that felt wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

Santana was floating in the water. She spread her arms wide, she wanted to float on her back, but the heaviness of her stomach made it impossible. She felt as light as a feather. It was so relaxing.

She felt herself slowly being rocked from the motion of the waves. She was drifting, and she let herself go.

Santana was enjoying the private pool she rented for the day from a nice spa, with the strong intention of getting Chloe and herself as relaxed as possible. She was in her 7th month of pregnancy, and since she stopped working alone at the studio, it seemed her body loved it, and her bump grew very quickly. Brittany said it was because of the lack of stress, that now she could really take it easy, the pressure wouldn't consume her like it used to. She didn't know if she was right but it actually felt that way.

Her ears were full of water, so she couldn't really hear, but Chloe seemed to be talking. She lifted her head up, just enough to get her hearing back.

"Saaaaaaaaan, yo, answer me, Brittany wants to know what you want to eat when we get back. She'll grab take-out on her way back from the airport." Chloe had just gotten out of the water as her phone was buzzing.

"Lasagna!"

"Hm... Uh, I love you, you know that, but anything else? Like you made me cook that all the time, I'm kinda over it.. Well, my stomach is."

"Vegan lasagna then?" Santana teased.

"Whatever!" With a towel on her shoulder, she quickly texted Brittany back.

_C- Stuck with lasagna... Do me a favor, find something else for me before I pass out. ANYTHING._

_B- Poor bb... Promise, I'll bring something pasta-free for you. How is she today?_

_C- Fine, idk how I'll get her out of the pool tho. Carla asked her to come at the studio for some nasty stuff, as far as I know, but she doesn't want to go. Moody..._

_B- Hm.. Mood swings or Snixx back in town?_

_C- I think they just merged this morning. MAYDAY_

_B- Hahaha can be at the studio quicker than home. Meet ya there then. Hold on sis! Pierces can do it!_

Chloe laughed. She sat on a chair close to the pool stairs and dried her curly blond hair with a smaller towel she held in one hand. She was a little bored. The spa was fun, but she had already done everything today; the sauna, the massages, the Jacuzzi, even the facials.

In the meantime, Santana was taking an aqua-gym course for pregnant women with a personal trainer. So she just waited for Santana to get over the pool too.

When her class ended, Santana wanted to stay a little longer at the pool. Since she started to off-load her work onto Carla, swimming was her new thing. Sometimes Brittany drove her, and Chloe fetched her later. Santana couldn't drive herself anymore, it wasn't very safe. Sometimes, she went with Chloe, and they spent the day together.

Chloe loved their routine. On top of it, she loved Santana. Brittany and San had been together for so long, it felt like Santana was her adopted sister or an aunt, but definitely her friend.

Back when they were in High School, Chloe was barely 10, and she witnessed Santana sneaking in her sister's window, and heard them giggle all night long. She was there helping her with her Spanish homework, she was there for her first boyfriend and her first heartache. She's was there at every big event in her life. Chloe felt honored that Santana chose her to help her out in her time of need. She felt their bond getting stronger every day. She felt blessed.

Santana swam to the pool stairs, and climbed out. "What made you laugh?" Santana said with a smile.

"Nothing, Britt's text was funny!"

Santana was slowly getting out of the water, drops running down all over her large stomach before she rubbed them away with her hand, and held the pool handrail with the other. She walked towards Chloe, and tried to take the bathrobe off her chair but it slipped and fell to the ground.

"Shit."

"Hold on" Chloe bent over like a gymnast to grab it off the ground, and then helped Santana put it on. "There you go!" Santana tightened the belt under her stomach, and sat down.

"Thanks Chloe" She said softly.

"You're welcome, Mama."

"No, I mean, thank you for everything. You didn't have to." She smiled very tenderly.

"You're family, San. I'm glad I can help you just the way you did for me."

Santana ruffled Chloe's hair. "It's sticky! Do you ever wash it?" Chloe laughed.

"Never mind, hey, Britt said she'll meet us at the studio. You ready?"

They showered at the spa and changed into some warm clothes since November was really cold this year. Since she couldn't drive, Santana let Chloe borrow her car, a very fancy black car that Chloe would miss a lot. On their way to the studio, Santana asked her if she wanted to stay, it might be fun for her. Chloe didn't want to ditch Santana so she agreed to stay, but no, it wasn't gonna be fun.

"Santana! Chloe!" Carla shouted out over her desk, the new desk Santana put in her office for Carla. "How you doing!"

"Really good. Who's recording today?"

"Noah's here! He's recording with the guys. Hm... We have Jackson Clyde in Room 2 and..."

"Wait, Jackson Clyde works with you, THE Jackson Clyde?" Chloe cut, in a state of shock.

"Didn't I tell you?" Santana smirked.

"And he's in the building?"

"Yup."

And then, Chloe was off, "Oh my god", "I have to tell my bitches", "OMFG", "Can I go?"

She may have been through Santana's fame, the crazy fans and stuff, but she was still a teenage girl, and Jackson Clyde was one hell of a rocker. Santana asked Carla to show her the way and stay with her to make sure she didn't fangirl too much, while she'd stay in her office and go through the work she left for her.

She took her coat off, and put it with her purse on the couch. She kept Brittany's shawl on her shoulders and walked towards her desk.

There were different piles on her desk. Two piles of letters marked: "For your information", and "Personal or confidential", along with a tiny pile of unopened letters. A pile of demos with a few notes on them too, and a gigantic pile of folders, which consisted of emails Carla had printed for her, press releases and other things PR agencies would have left for her.

Her pillow hadn't moved from her chair since the last time she came in. Carla impressed her; everything was so perfectly handled, perfectly done. Whenever she came to the office, she'd find the exact same piles, perfectly sorted. She just had to go through it, all the information she needed was there, Carla wrote her extremely detailed notes indicating what she thought would be the best way to handle each case, and basically, Santana only had to agree or disagree. She rarely had to disagree. Carla was working her ass off, obviously. Actually, she was even better than Santana expected her to be.

Santana had been working for two hours or so. She only had one pile left, "Personal and confidential." One envelope in particular caught her eyes. It was a small beige letter, and on the top left was written "THE 63RD ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS". How could she forget? She contemplated the envelope as she crossed her arms, pulling her shawl tightly around her, "Don't be silly..."

She opened it carefully.

THE 63RD ANNUAL GRAMMY AWARDS

Mrs. Santana Lopez

You are cordially invited to attend the 63rd Annual Grammy Award show.

O Attending

O Not attending

Signature:_

Hearing a knock on the door, she stuffed the letter back in the pile, not really understanding why this was affecting her like this.

"Come in!" Santana called out.

"Love..." Brittany said as she opened the door, and closed it quickly. She rushed over to Santana, who tried to stand up, but Brittany kissed her so fiercely it made her sit back down right away. "I've missed you so much..." Santana got up, and kissed her back, her heart on her lips. The memory still fresh in her mind made their reunion even more intense.

"I'm so glad you're home..." They snuggled into each other's arms for a few minutes. "A week without you, it's way too long!"

"I know, honey, I know..." Brittany took Santana's face in her hands, looked at her as if she hadn't see her in years, smiled, and kissed her again. "And how's my baby girl!" She used her baby voice, as she leaned over, tenderly pushing the shawl aside, and lightly brushed a kiss over Santana's stomach. She stroked it tenderly. "I missed you too, sweet baby girl".

Santana smiled at her wife's cute actions.

"Can we go home? Where's Chloe?"

"She's being a groupie in Room 2 right now... Yeah, I'm finished here anyway." Brittany took Santana's coat off the couch, and helped her much missed wife put it on.

"There, you got it" Brittany handed her purse to Santana. "Ready?"

"Wait! I just forgot one thing!" She looked for the Grammy invitation. She quickly grabbed a pen, and with a sigh, she checked the "Not attending" box. She put the letter back in the envelope, and put it on Carla desk. "Now, we're good."

They went to Room 2, to fetch Chloe. Well, they actually physically extracted her from the room since she didn't want to leave. Santana thanked Carla for her great work, and they left.

On the way out they stopped to see Puckerman too. They agreed to catch up later, before the baby's birth. Brittany drove them home in Santana's car.

"Hey girls, hm... ," Chloe said "Damian just texted me, he's throwing a party tonight, and I kinda want to go... Can you just drop me off?"

"Is it my lasagna that's making you run away?" Santana joked.

Brittany smirked at Santana, "Yeah, no problem Sis, where do you want me to drop you?"

Chloe gave her the address and they dropped her off. Chloe cheerfully waved at the couple inside the car as she entered her friend's house.

"Actually, I'm pretty happy she has a date tonight..." Santana said. "I could use some alone time with you."

Brittany grinned. She caressed Santana's thigh as she kept driving.

….

The next morning Santana finished showering and drying off. She opened the door of the very large and tall bathroom cupboard. She sighed.

"Honey, come here!" She didn't hear an answer. "BRITT, CAN YOU COME OVER HERE?"

"Comin!" She heard Brittany yell from the living room, maybe the kitchen.

She walked to the white marble sink, and looked at herself in the mirror. Her wet hair was very curly, its wet ends dripping on her bra. She leaned on the sink edge, and waited for Brittany.

"No Artie, I can't come this week, I'll spend it at home. Start the editing without me... Huh uh... Yeah I can do that from here..." She heard Brittany walking into the corridor, and getting closer. "Oh! Santana loved that script! By the way, you should come over and have dinner with us real soon... Tomorrow ?... Sounds fun! Okay, Artie, I gotta go! See you tomorrow then! Bye"

She pushed open the half closed door, "What's wrong, baby?"

"I can't reach a new bottle of lotion. It's too high in the cupboard..." Santana pouted.

Brittany put her phone on the sink, and reached for the bottle, barely stretching her arm.

"I hate needing help all the time." She pouted even more.

"Come on" She gave Santana her hand. "Come to the bedroom."

Santana followed, still pouting. Brittany made her sit on the bed, and then down right next to her. She rubbed her own hands to warm them up. She took some lotion, and started to apply it on Santana's bump with soft gently caresses.

"You're not being helped or dependent; you're being taken care of. It's not the same."

"I... pfft."

"San, you'll suffer just as much as I will when she'll wake us up every single night, when she'll pull our hair and find that fun, when she'll want us to hold her when she'll be reallyyyy heavy..." Brittany kept rubbing the lotion in, on every bit of Santana's skin. It relaxed her. "I swear you'll be in a lot of pain when she'll draw on your Haute-Couture shoes." She smirked.

"I'm gonna lock them up. Like in a vault or something..." They giggled.

"Yeah, Gringotts sounds good... I like taking care of you. We're a team, you're sad, I'm sad. You take care of me; I take care of you, that's the deal."

"I can't really take care of you right now..."

"More than ever, actually; you're giving me a daughter, and we love each other, that's all that matters. This is how you take care of me. Got it?"

"Got it." Santana said a huge grin on her face.

Brittany finished her ministration, but she let the pleasure last a little longer.

"I'll miss it too, you know. You being pregnant..." She kissed her on her cheekbone. "Come on, get dressed! I'm taking you out today."

"Where are we going?" Santana seemed excited. She always loved her surprises.

In the car, Santana questioned Brittany about their mysterious destination. Brittany didn't say anything, wouldn't give a single clue.

"So... You're taking me to the mall. That's your surprise?" Santana said, her disappointment evident when she finally got where Brittany took them. Brittany locked the car and they started to enter the mall, Santana curled up in her shawl. She couldn't get over how handy this shawl was.

"Yup, I want you to meet someone really nice."

"Someone really nice? At the mall?" Santana didn't even try to hide her disappointment anymore.

Brittany held her by the shoulders, and they walked through the mall. They could hear some comments of, "Look, it's Santana Lopez" in the air. It always made Santana smile. She saw a group of teenage girls' wave at her, she waved back. She liked being famous when it was about talking to fans and waving at people. It used to be so much worse. People were screaming all around her, she had to sign autographs, and sometimes, on very weird places of people's bodies. But she always complied. She complied because she knew this was the only way to keep Brittany away from that craziness. If she gave to the fans what they asked, they wouldn't look too much into her private life. So, she was a playful celebrity, she hugged, she talked to her fans, she complied with requests for pictures, the autographs, the interviews, the shows.

If it was what was needed to save Brittany from the paparazzi and the tabloids, she was willing to do it; and it worked. Patrick was on cloud nine as she fed the fans with her kindness. He knew someday her coming out would turn her into a living-legend. Santana played all the right cards to make all their futures bright.

A very slim blond girl tiptoed towards them, she looked to be about 14 years old, Santana wasn't sure. It seemed that girls these days looked like women way too soon.

"Hi... Um, sorry if I'm disturbing you but.. I really wanted to say that I grew up with your songs, you're like..." She gestured her heart exploding. "Like that to me!"

Santana let out a small chuckle, "Well thank you!"

"Will you ever sing again? Like, it broke my heart when you stopped."

"I don't think so; I'm a little busy right now. See!" She opened her coat shyly, but with pride.

"Boy or girl?" The fan grinned from ear to ear that her idol, Santana Lopez was chatting a bit with her.

"Wait and see! We have to go now. It was nice meeting you!" The young fan understood, and said goodbye with a bunch of "I love you's". Santana and Brittany continued walking towards the mysterious place.

"Do you miss it sometimes?" Brittany asked seriously.

"The fans?"

"Yeah. The fans, singing..."

"No. We love each other. That's all that matters. You're enough for me." Santana answered with her heart.

"You stole my line!" Santana stuck out her tongue, which made Brittany tighten her embrace and laugh. "Here's our destination!"

"You took me baby shopping!" Santana exclaimed.

Brittany dragged her in, her heart full of joy. She enjoyed her last visit so much; she just knew Santana would love it too. Brittany had made up her mind to buy almost everything from this store.

"Oh hi! I remember you!" The saleswoman said.

"Hi! How are you? Let me introduce you to my wife..."

"You didn't tell me your wife was Santana Lopez! What a great pleasure to have you here, ladies. How can I help you?"

Brittany explained to Santana this was the store where she bought the shawl. That Chloe brought her here, and they spent a lot of time looking around. Santana, as far as she knew, liked the store too.

The fact was that Brittany and Santana didn't really have any time to baby shop before. Brittany just returned from a trip to Los Angeles to deal with a movie shoot that was scheduled to start a few months after the baby was born.

Just like Santana, Brittany needed some organization in order to take it slow with work, except she didn't have an assistant. So it was all on her to do the last essential travels, auditions, and reading sessions. That was why Brittany took Santana shopping, to finally take some time focusing on just them, and not work.

"I like the white bed, Britt!" Santana said from her chair, where Chloe sat a few weeks before. Brittany was farther away speaking with the saleswoman, "I like it too, but which one is more practical?" She asked the woman.

"The white is fine, it has three different positions, so you can pull it down and still use it when your baby starts to really grow up. It's also the safest." The woman answered seriously.

"Then, it's settled, San?"

"Settled! Can we just take a break; I'm starting to feel dizzy with all the information overload."

Brittany and the saleswoman walked over to Santana, talking about the matching pieces of furniture. Brittany rested on her elbows on the cash register desk.

"How far along are you, how do you feel?" The saleswoman asked Santana kindly.

"Thirty weeks, now. I feel alright now but it wasn't that nice at the beginning, but I guess you get used to it." Santana answered.

"Indeed... I remember when I was carrying my first child,_ now that _was a pregnancy... But my second felt better, way better." The saleswoman opened a drawer, and took a picture out of it. She handed it to Brittany, who passed it to Santana. This was a very old picture of two children, a boy and a younger girl, holding a dog, their little faces lit up with all the joy that only children can feel. "I feel lucky; it was all I ever wanted, a boy and a girl."

"They're really beautiful. What are their names?"

"Alexander and Sophie. They're 29 and 24 now. It goes by so fast... But still no grandchildren!"

"You have gorgeous children." Santana said and Brittany nodded.

They continued their shopping, and opted to get it delivered to their home. Santana thanked the saleswoman for all her help, the saleswoman introduced herself as Meryl and Brittany told her they would come back soon.

In the car ride back home, Santana remained quite silent, "Britt, do you know what you want to name our baby?"

"I don't know, honey, I really don't... I guess I'd want something that reflects us, half caramel, and half vanilla. Mhhhm that sounds yummy." Brittany joked. "But I don't know just yet."

"Yeah, we need something that links her to her roots. I liked Sophie though..."

"I loved it! But I didn't want to tell you, I thought you'd make fun of me for wanting our child named by our saleswoman." She paused as she drove into the parking lot of their building. She stopped the car. "What if we mix?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we like Sophie, but it isn't Spanish enough. There's Sofia, S.O.F.I.A, but it's too Spanish, right? So, Sophia, meet half-way, like S.O.P.H.I.A. It sounds perfect to me."

"Sophia?" Santana wondered, rubbing her stomach.

Brittany placed her hands over Santana's. They smiled at each other with a light in their eyes they didn't have before. Santana felt her baby move, and the sensation in her heart was different. Her heart was sending happiness through her veins, her blood warmer than ever.

"Sophia." They whispered at the same time.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

Santana and Puck were in a recording room. Behind the window, Patrick waited, anxiety making him rock back and forth in his chair nervously.

Puck was talking to his friend, "Santana, you have to sing. Sing with me. You don't have to talk. Just sing with me, just this song…" No answer. "You've done it thousand times before… Just this one…" Still no answer.

"Okay, what if I start to play it on the guitar?" Sounds good huh?"

He opened the sheet music on the music stand, the score to Santana's most famous song _"You're My Fantasy"_. He eased himself onto his chair. She stared at him.

"So…" He started to play the first notes, and go to the first verse without Santana making a sound. This was a simple melody, Santana used to provide all the depth with her warm voice and talent.

She used to provide the beautiful melody, the instruments fading away when she sang. She didn't need all the extra arrangements, just a few; drums, a guitar or two, maybe a piano but nothing more. Her music was simple, efficient; that was all she needed to sing her heart out. Her voice was her most powerful instrument.

He didn't stop; he played the second verse, singing. "Your smile when I wake up… Your laugh when I breathe…"

She grabbed the guitar chords with her shaking hand, violently trying to hold it still and make the music stop so great was her despair.

"You want another song? I can play anything you like." Puck said gently.

She let go of the guitar. She stood up and grabbed the score off the music stand taking it with her. She went out the door, and sat close to Patrick. She turned to the page, and with a red pen, she drew thick lines on it, like those on music paper. Fiercely and quick, she wrote notes and rests, again and again. Patrick and Puck were confused, they just watched her, at least she was doing something. She expressed herself in her own way.

She took a second page, and did the same. She was writing so hard she almost ripped the paper. A third page, just the same. She let the pen fall from her grip. She parted her lips, Patrick's throat tightened, she was about to speak. But she didn't, she got up and went to give Puck the score she just composed.

He stared at the pages, reading them perplexed and confused, "You want me to play that?"

She made a small nod only he could see.

He played the notes, and found them grueling to play. He tried a few times before he finally got the rhythm. "Like that?"

She nodded. Puck just kept playing it, dozens of times.

She sat in her chair staring at the ground. She listened very carefully; immersing herself in the music. She closed her eyes, and breathing was a considerable strain. In her mind, she was writing the lyrics. Each time Puck played, the words were put in place. She was adjusting, modifying, rewriting, her mind erasing what sounded wrong.

This was all they were able to make her do that day. However, they were glad, she did something. Puck played her score, a very strange score, over and over, until late. The melody was harsh, there was no subtlety. It didn't sound like her, or like what she used to compose.

The next day, she brought some other pages with music on it with the word "VIOLINS" written on it. She never used violins in her music. Patrick called some violinists to record as Puck played the guitar part. He suggested some light drums, she slightly agreed. They took time to compose every note, every tempo, and every beat of her song. It felt good to Patrick and Puck to see Santana compose music again. She was opening her heart and instead of words music appeared. They were all smiles and compliments, they tried as hard as they could to support her and get her to open up to them but she remained expressionless.

Patrick knelt in front of Santana, "We need the lyrics. We've been working for a week now; all we need is the voice." He said as he tried to hand her the score, which had been printed in plain black on white pages, every instrument on different lines. She didn't take them from him.

He was demoralized. He hoped she would blossom, that her own music would bring her back to life, "You still want to go? You won't walk out on me? You'll sing at the Grammys? Santana, tell me you will, please?"

Her despair clouded over his previous bitterness. He put all his cards on the table; she was all she had, all he believed in. His anger had faded away, her persistence turning it into ashes. "This is your last chance… Tell me you will…" He pleaded.

She nodded. He sighed, half relieved, "You're gonna sing for her, and her only, that's right isn't it?"

Santana looked up quickly.

She didn't care about her record deal or Patrick's career; actually, she couldn't care less about either.

Indeed, this was her last chance; for Brittany to hear her, for Santana to talk to her. In her broken heart, singing seemed to be the last option she had before she turned herself to the void before she gave in completely to nothingness.

She thought she didn't know how to speak anymore, how words worked together, she didn't know if she could make it through a song. The comfortable silence she lived in numbed all she knew about herself, about her voice, her talent, about her own spirit.

She didn't know where she would find the strength to sing, in a theater crowded with thousands of people when she couldn't even speak to her own mother. She was trapped.

Miraculously, Patrick somehow managed to convince the Grammy staff on the phone to rehearse the show with the demo they made, that Santana was still healing; nevertheless she would definitely be back on her feet for her performance.

When he hung up, he didn't know if he just told the biggest lie of his whole life, or not. He had bet his entire career, twenty years spent building this career and his reputation on this performance.

He had tried to call Brittany but she changed her phone number. He tried to visit her, she didn't answer.

He pleaded with Santana's parents to do something, but despite Jorge and Gloria's efforts, Brittany seemed to be the only answer. He just hoped and prayed this whole Grammy show didn't destroy everything they all had worked so hard to achieve.

_**End Flashback**_

* * *

><p>Thank you Jen for beta'ing :)<br>All your reviews and story alerts are really appreciated, thank you so much ! It really warms my heart :3  
>I'll post another chapter soon !<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

_**Flashback**_

Artie, Brittany and the movie editor were in the cutting-room. They were editing the final scenes of the movie they shot months ago, a light romance, nothing too complicated. It was supposed to be a summer movie, the kind you go watch with your girl friends to believe in love again.

"_Fool yourself, lie as long as you want, but you won't change how I feel! And I know you feel the same way, you just don't want to admit it..." _Jake, the lover, was trying to wake Samantha up, who was denying the feelings she had with all her strength. "_I know that you love me, you really do... The sad thing is, we only know what love is when we lose it for good."_

"_Please don't leave, I need my friend... "_

"_I'm not your friend Samantha, I know you, every part of you, and I'm gonna leave, because you won't realize how much you love me if I stay."_

"_You don't make sense!"_

Artie paused the scene, "What about if we take shot 17 instead of this one, I think Samantha should be the one on screen on "I'm not your friend blah blah blah…"

"Yeah, it would be more intense. If you mix shot 17, 9 and 22, I think it'd be nice." The editor agreed. He mixed the different shots on the screen. "Look, we start with 17, then "_The sad thing is..._" Bam! Shot 9 right on Samantha, "_when we lose it for good._" and then Bam again! Shot 9. What do you think?"

"Yeah, that's actually really good. Play the scene again." He did what he was being told. "Yeah, perfect, perfect." Artie mused.

Brittany wasn't really looking either at the screen nor the script, she was just... gazing at the emptiness around.

"Britt?"

"What?" She was brought back from her musings.

"Do you like it this way?" Artie pushed.

"I don't like that scene, like at all, so just do whatever you want."

"You can't just pass on the major scene Britt."

"Major maybe, but it's still dumb."

"We're not going to rewrite the movie now..." Brittany started her wandering look again. "What is it? Tell us." The editor said.

"It's just that... Who is he to tell her whether she's in love or not? She damn knows what her own feelings are! I don't think it makes sense." Artie sensed that further discussion would have to be very, very delicate.

"Well, that's the point Britt, he knows when she can't, that's what love is made of, it's synergy. It conveys depth to their love." Artie said with all the softness he had, he didn't want to hurt her.

"Maybe, but that's stupid." Brittany cut, she looked slightly annoyed.

"It's not! It's all about illusions, and how you could never be sure about what you feel. But at the end, he crushes her heart by leaving, and she realizes he was right."

"That's even more stupid." Brittany said with finality.

Artie and the editor just didn't know how to deal with Brittany anymore. She kept complaining about the movie, saying things that didn't seem like her at all. They kept arguing on small details, especially heart-breaking scenes.

Because he knew how being hurt felt, Artie understood right away what all that was about. She couldn't deal with the movie since she couldn't deal with herself or her feelings. He tried to understand, make her talk, but all he could get was a picture of how confused her mind really was; an opaque cloud lacking clarity.

Being heartbroken was one thing, but she was hurt so much deeper than that, so deep she couldn't put her pain into words. She barely mentioned to Artie she had left Santana. She said she hated her because Santana didn't love her anymore, so she couldn't love her anymore either.

He tried to make her understand love and hate are two sides of the same emotion, both work together but pull in different directions.

Brittany was adamant that he didn't know what he was talking about, what he was implying was stupid, and she had never heard anything that stupid in her entire life for the record. She kept saying it was life, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, it was too bad for Santana, but she needed someone who knew her worth and respected her. She didn't want to hear from her anymore.

Artie didn't buy it, he knew both of them, and he always thought it was just a crisis. However, time went by and Brittany dove deeper and deeper into her feelings interpretation. He was sad that he was no longer close enough to help her see the truth; although if she couldn't get to the truth about herself and her relationship on her own, he wasn't comfortable being her therapist either.

He felt a bit trapped, he wanted to get the work done, and this Brittany was just surviving somehow, living in the past, living in a denial so strong she couldn't climb out of it. She didn't fight anymore. She had lost her passion, her fire, the optimism, the innocence that made her Brittany. Artie was worried; for her, for her work, for their friendship as well.

"Anyway Britt, we have got to edit this movie, so you have to give your opinion on that scene too." Artie said softly.

"Like I said – whatever!" Brittany stood up and quickly left the room.

"Good thing we're almost done..." The editor whispered.

"Tell me about it... She's a pain in the ass right now."

"What do we do without her?"

"We keep going, man. She really hasn't been much of a help anyway like this, so we just should keep editing on our own and I'll figure the rest out later. It won't make a big difference anyway."

"Yeah, you're right." They stared at the screen, not really knowing what to do. "Do you think she'll ever wake up and figure things out?"

"I don't know. I really don't." Artie said sadly.

...

Brittany couldn't get out of that room quick enough, she felt like she couldn't breathe. She rushed towards the building exit, she just wanted to get some fresh air, and she wanted to see the sunlight, feel the wind. When she finally pushed the doors open with both hands and burst through to the outside, the cool breeze gently blew across her face and she felt instantly better.

"Cigarette?" Annette, a German actress Brittany had known for few years was smoking outside. This very tall blonde lady seemed to be in the same mood as Brittany, her long vintage curls blowing gently in the breeze.

"I don't smoke." Brittany answered with a sweet smile. She really liked her, she directed her once, in a short film. They had good chemistry, and somehow, they ended up good friends.

"You look like you need a smoke right now." She said dryly making Brittany chuckle. "Don't worry I won't tell. I shouldn't be smoking either; I'm shooting scenes for a musical these days." Annette gave her a playful look, "Come on!" She handed Brittany a cigarette from her pack.

Brittany took it, agreeing she really needed something to cheer her up, or at least calm down for few minutes the constant racing in her mind. The smoke went down her throat, and Brittany remembered all those parties she'd attended with Santana as teenagers, when they were sneaking around, lighting cigars and drinking tequila.

"It's been a while..." Brittany whispered. She took another drag, "It works, actually."

"Told ya, you can't fool a German babe..."

"So, nasty work up there?" Brittany asked making small talk.

"Kind of, awful director. Barnshaw, the one and only. I presume you don't need any further explanation? What, might I ask, has you feeling crazy today?"

"Awful movie." Brittany said sadly.

"You don't like your own movie?" Annette replied sarcastically.

"I shot it with Artie Abrams, it's not just mine. I don't like it as much as I used to, back then when we shot it. It feels... fake now."

"What is it about?"

"A dumb chick flick. They fight, they fell in love all over again and they live happily ever after." She paused, deeply sucking in her cigarette smoke, "It's pointless." Brittany said, the bitterness and anger she was feeling flashed across her face, "I'd rather do short films only, but you know, business is business, you gotta make some money." She spat out bitterly.

"I can see you're putting your entire heart and soul in this movie." Annette joked.

"Is it that obvious?" Brittany cut, laughing.

"Yeah! What changed your mind, that you don't like it anymore ?"

"Hm. You know, when people turn their back on you, you kinda lose faith in love. Then, to have to go talk about love ten hours a day and see people being in love all day long, it feels like a fucking punishment for something I didn't even do."

"What happened?" Annette pressed her friend.

"I had no other option than to leave my partner..." Brittany didn't know if it was the right word to choose. "My ex. Whatever..."

"Oh, I see. Your mysterious partner... Well, how do you feel? If you want to talk about it, I'm here?" Annette tentatively said.

"You're sweet Annette but I'm fine. I just need Artie to get off of my back sometimes, times like now actually. I need to try to figure out what kind of mess I have going on in my head, I guess." She said with a smile as she took the last drag off her cigarette, threw it on the ground and ground it out with her heel.

Annette understood she wasn't going to get any more out of Brittany at the moment, considering the hard angry look in Brittany's eyes.

"Hey Brittany, I have any idea! Why don't we catch up another time? When we are done being tortured, a drink or something... between friends?"

Annette really liked Brittany back then. She actually was quite curious about her. Brittany had this fascinating mind, full of unknown treasures only Santana had been aware of. Annette guessed them though, and knowing Brittany was now single interested her. The mysterious girl Brittany was dating seemed to cloud all her desires, so Annette didn't even try to make a move. But now, the story was different. Brittany looked like she might need some fun, Annette could see the doubt and pain written all over the pretty blonde director's face.

Brittany caught Annette's point right away. She felt her unspoken interest when she directed her. She made very clear Santana; "my mysterious Lady" as she used to nickname her so people wouldn't be aware of her identity, was all she cared about.

However, her confused mind couldn't process the thoughts properly. The normal Brittany was playful, liked adventures, did unexpected things, and lived in the moment in other words.

Brittany and Santana had been together for so long it took her a few seconds to remember how "pre-Santana" Brittany would have acted. She would have agreed to the drink; she would have enjoyed a fun moment with a beautiful girl. Yes, it was just for fun, who cared?

She was single after all, and she needed to move on and forget Santana. Annette was a really fun girl; she would be the perfect distraction for her rebound phase, and maybe more after. Annette had so much potential and Brittany needed new affection to make the memory of Santana fade away from her heart.

But she somehow still felt trapped. The Brittany of old seemed very far away from the current Brittany, actually, and she had hard time recognizing herself anymore. It felt so different, and she really wasn't sure if she should play the adventurous "Annette-card" or not. She had this haziness in her mind, she couldn't figure out what it was, it felt like a bond holding her back, but she just couldn't get why this bond was so strong. Get over Santana that was what she was supposed to do, why couldn't she?

"Annette... We'll catch up. Later." Brittany added, in a choppy way. "Just... It's not really a good time right now."

"Call me whenever you want. It's just a drink." Annette winked.

"Yeah... Just a drink." Brittany said to herself, scratching the back of her hair. She smiled back at Annette. "I have to go back to... my punishment. Thanks for the cigarette, Annette."

"Enjoy!" Annette shouted as Brittany entered the building again.

"Scheiße!" She swore whispering. "I'm never going to get her..." She threw her cigarette to the ground annoyed, and destroyed it with her heavy red heels.

_**End flashback**_

* * *

><p>"…The head is pretty far down now," Dr. Ferguson said as she continued the ultrasound, "basically, in about two weeks, she can come out whenever she's ready!"<p>

"Two weeks?" Brittany's voice sounded extremely surprised. "Isn't that a bit soon?"

"No, not at all. She's in perfect position, she's a good weight…She's about ready. So, Ladies, don't worry. Keep cool, just like you do right now, and everything should be fine. It's actually very rare that someone is born on their due date."

"What's the usual gestation? Eight months? Eight and a half months?" Santana asked.

"Eight and a half months, generally. But in your case, I'd like to see you in three weeks, and depending on your condition, we might think about inducing labor before your due date. She's a strong baby, no need to push it if your body can't really cope." She stopped the ultrasound. "Starting now, you might experience some mild contractions, which are totally normal. It's just your muscles getting ready for her birth. You can freak out only when they become regular. Any questions?" She asked the couple kindly.

"Britt?" Brittany shook her head. "Then, we're fine. Thank you Dr."

"So, like I said, safe activities, sleep well, eat well, and get all the rest you can and reserve your strength. You still can enjoy some extra parties for now, in two weeks, you have to start acting like a nun, with your house becoming the convent!"

"Sounds like fun!" Santana said dryly.

"Oh come on, we all know what happens in those convents." Dr. Ferguson teased as they all laughed together. "Home fun can still be a lot of fun! And if you need some action, don't be afraid, it'll help your body relax." With a wink, she said goodbye, and left the room.

"She reminds me of Holly Holliday sometimes." Brittany said.

"Yeah, they kinda have a lot in common… Can you hand me my coat babe?"

"Here" Brittany helped her sit on the edge of the chair, slip on her coat, and then placed the shawl over her shoulders very protectively. It hardly touched Santana's thighs since her stomach was growing quite large now. While Brittany adjusted the shawl, Santana caught her lips by surprise and kissed her with all her heart and soul, "I love you."

"What was that for?"

"Do I need a special occasion?"

"Nope, not at all..." With a huge grin, Brittany kissed her back. "So, what do we do now?"

"Take me back home."

...

Brittany was looking for her keys in her purse, when Santana slipped between her and the front door, in the very small space left for her and her big bump, a devilish smile on her face.

"I can't open the door if you stay there, honey…"

Santana kissed her nose, just a peck. Brittany tried to put the key in the lock, Santana moved so close that it made it impossible for Brittany to do it. She kissed her cheek, the corner of her lips, her neck. All she could reach, her massive stomach making things quite delicate. She shifted to her right, so Brittany could open the door.

As she bent to slip the key into the lock, she snuggled into Santana's neck, gracing it with a few kisses. As they came in their smiles couldn't be wider. Brittany took off the coat and purse as quickly as she could, but Santana was already moving towards the bedroom. On the way, she let go of her coat too, and carelessly threw it on the ground. She took the shawl away from her shoulders and when Brittany finally reached her, she flung it over Brittany, and disappeared in the bedroom with a giggle.

Brittany struggled to get the shawl off of her, and when she finally could, Santana was on the other side of the bed, holding her top between her fingertips, and let it fall on the carpet. She was wearing a long light grey skirt that undulated on her legs. Brittany leaned on the door frame, waiting for the rest of the strip tease.

Happy that Brittany agreed to the little game, Santana's devilish grin grew wider. She very slowly unzipped the side of her skirt, shook her hips, and made it fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and unclasped her bra. Her fingertips danced on her side, and came dangerously close to her panties.

"Oh no, you don't that's my part!" Brittany rushed to Santana, and embraced her with all the love she possessed. Without slowing the rhythm of their kisses, Brittany made her lay down, pushing aside the covers in a hurry.

Brittany had never undressed so quickly in her life. She loved everything about Santana's pregnant body; the curves, the even softer skin, her gentle moves. Santana, who used to be so wild (not that Brittany'd complain), was more smooth and gentle since becoming pregnant than Brittany would ever have suspected. Side by side together, life had never been more perfect. It was the time to enjoy what wouldn't last for long: the feeling that without each other alone, they would be nothing.

Every memory would change, everything they had felt was about to become part of their past. A part of their history, the one they would tell their children and grandchildren. This was an end, and their every kiss felt like a goodbye. This time, there was no turning back.

"Hold me…" Brittany whispered, into the crook of Santana's neck.

Santana opened her arms wider, and Brittany cuddled her. She put her head on her shoulder, it felt like home. She kissed her neck, as if she would never touch it again. Her lips traveled down to Santana's breasts, her hands rested on her adorable hips, which seemed so tiny compared to the bundle of joy pressing against her bare skin. She let her hands wander, Santana shaking from lust. She brushed the inside of her thighs lightly, which made her lover spread them wider immediately. She caressed them all over, both women shivered. Brittany looked at Santana; her face expressing love, desire, and so much impatience. Therefore, she didn't wait, she stroked Santana's center with light fingers.

"Oh yes…"

She applied more pressure.

"Huh… Britt…" She couldn't stand her own frustration. Brittany removed her hand. "NO! No, no, no…"

But Brittany didn't listen. She gently pushed Santana back again and she lowered herself. She intertwined her fingers with Santana's, and squeezed them. Santana couldn't help but hold them tightly as moan after moan escaped her parted lips. Lowering her head, Brittany let her loose hair tickle Santana's skin. She knew it drove her crazy, the soft blond hair spread over her caramel skin.

When Brittany's lips found the little bundle of nerves, Santana welcomed her with more desperate moans. She licked her with all the softness she had, adding more and more pressure as Santana's thighs tensed. Santana's breathing increased. Brittany released one of her hands, and brought it back down. Santana couldn't see over her bump, so when she felt Brittany put two fingertips at her entrance without pushing, she lost it.

"Fuck… yes…." Brittany thrust in, painfully slow.

"Fuck Britt… Yes!"

Santana rocked her hips as much as she could, slightly pushing her backside up off the mattress.

"Yeah, yeah…" Her breathing was ragged. Brittany thrust again, with more intensity, while she held Santana firmly against her own body. "YES BRITT…"

Santana buried her heels in the covers as she rode out her ecstasy. Brittany increased her speed. She heard Santana's throat hold back her heaviest sighs, the only sounds she could make were high-pitched whimpers. Brittany thrust in both fingers as far as they would go, withdrew slowly, only to push them back in harder and deeper than before. Santana's thighs shook violently, once, twice, and Brittany stilled her fingers inside the woman she loved. She dried her lips kissing her way up Santana's body, whose thighs kept Brittany's fingers clasped in her very warm and wet center.

When Brittany looked up, Santana's eyes were closed, a look of pleasure all over her face. A hand protectively placed on her upper stomach, one of her fingers was playing with her lip, almost sucking on it. Brittany couldn't resist, she stole a kiss, and grabbed the finger gently with her teeth. Santana opened her eyes, and rubbed Brittany's lower lip with her fingertip.

"Mi amor… I think I will love you forever…"

...

Santana felt heavy, and more tired than ever. When she walked, she practically had her hand glued to her lower back. Her legs ached, so she tried to stay up as much as she could, to stretch, to move.

She was in the dining room. They decided to invite their parents and Chloe over, for a family dinner, probably the last without any baby crying or diaper changing interruptions. She took the plates, forks and knifes, that Brittany piled for her on the table, and almost one by one, she put them down as she set the table. She wished she could be more helpful around the house, so she convinced Brittany to let her do something. She heard someone ring the bell, and Brittany rush to open it. Chloe was there, alone.

"Yo Mamaaaaa"

"Oh hi girl!" Santana hugged her with one arm only. "You didn't come with your parents?"

"Nope, I was at Damian's. He gave me a ride." She said, adjusting a fork close to a plate, eyes down.

"Haha... I see... How is it going?" Chloe's cheeks flushed red.

"Good…" She almost whispered. She took her vest off, and put it on a chair back.

"You're not taking your scarf off?"

"Nah, I'm a little cold…"

"Spare me your shit, you have hickeys!" Santana exclaimed quickly pulling the scarf off and peeked at Chloe's neck. "I knew it! All over your neck! I freaking knew it! When, how?"

"He may or may not have told me he loved me yesterday…"

"GIRL! And you didn't text me the news! I'm so mad…"

Brittany came in, holding a big bowl with salad in it.

"I can hear you giggling from the kitchen, what's so funny?" She put the bowl on the table.

"Your sister's about to lose her V card hon. BIG TIME!"

"SAN! Can you just… _not_ tell my sister?" Chloe yelled in extreme embarrassment.

"Like I'll be shocked, San and I did it wayyy…." Brittany rolled her eyes.

"LALALALALALA" And Chloe stormed out the room.

The bell rang again, and Chloe opened the door. From the dining room, they heard Brittany's parents came in. They asked why Chloe's cheeks were so red, and Chloe pretended San made her taste some really spicy Puerto-Rican food. Santana burst into laughter, picturing in her mind Chloe's obvious awkward face at the question, and Brittany led her over to say hello, swearing that together they made one hell of a team.

"Hi Baby! Hi Santana!" Her mom, Julie, sang. "I'm so glad you called, two weeks without seeing my baby girls is far too long… How do you feel? …Can I touch?"

Brittany hugged her father, Andrew, while Santana happily gestured for Julie to feel the baby.

"It pulls! More and more!" Santana said.

"Hold on, only a dozen days to go!" She said as she raised her closed fists in the air, all smiles. "Yay! I just can't wait!" Julie said happily.

"Seriously, she wanted to build a house extension so she could do a nursery. I had to sleep on the couch when I refused…" Andrew joked, while they all started to walk towards the living-room.

"And I still think we should…"

"Mom, you can redecorate my room you know… And you don't _need_ a nursery, we live a few blocks away…"

"That's what I said!" Andrew laughed.

"Yes honey, but it's your room… you know… I don't want to just erase all the memories… And if she gets sick when you're home… " Julie said.

Julie was that kind of mom, super-loving, doing all these scrapbooks with pictures of everything her daughters did. Julie's daughters inherited her optimism, her joie de vivre. Andrew always said that a child of hers would never become a doctor, or anything else like that, Julie fed them fantasy, joy and craziness. He tried what he could to provide the logical part of the education, but it was hard work when Julie only wanted their children to express themselves in crafts, sports and running in the fields.

Therefore, when Brittany decided to be a movie director, they couldn't have been less surprised, and as they guessed, Chloe would be an artist, maybe a bartender in those fancy bars where they set drinks on fire. And they were happy that their girls felt free enough to make their dreams come true, no matter what.

When Santana's parents arrived, they cheerfully enjoyed all the food Brittany had cooked for them. They didn't do reunions like this very often, but both families really loved it. It felt like a pre-Christmas, since the real Christmas Eve was in a few more days.

"Hey San, why don't you just pop now, it would be so cool to be all together with baby girl for Christmas!" Chloe laughed, while they were finishing the dessert.

"Actually, we have an appointment in two days to see if we induce or not!" Santana said easing herself onto the chair, feeling a tiny pain.

"So, you can ... like… give birth in two days…? Wow! Just… Wow."

"Not right away, but within the following days…"

"Our doctor said that if Santana feels too bad and because the baby is more than fine, it might be better. But only if we want to, of course."

"Yeah it would be wiser." Santana's father said. "Do you feel ready, girls?"

"GOD YES!" Santana spat, making everybody laugh at the table and Brittany stroke her back, smiling ear to ear. "Seriously, I just want to hold her now, like, _now_. I really feel tired... Tough days…"

"Then, cancel all your appointments, it's gonna be a busy week!" Brittany laughed.

Gloria and Julie did the dishes, insisting on Brittany relaxing with the men and Chloe in the living room after they finished eating. Chloe harassed them to give up the baby's name, but Brittany pretended they still didn't know it with an obvious lack of acting skills.

The dads made sure to ask for a boy for the next baby. Brittany almost spit out the tea she was drinking, saying that there was no way they'd do another child until they could be sure that this one wouldn't burn the house down. Jorge looked at Santana, who was huddling up against Brittany. She was holding back a whimper.

"Mija, you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, just a contraction. No biggie."

He didn't push further but just watched. The talks resumed with greater intensity, until Santana seemed to nod off on Brittany's shoulder.

"I think someone won't last long…" Andrew pointed out, in a very soft voice. The sudden silence in the room waking her.

"Hmm... I should go rest in bed…" Santana cleared her throat with a smile.

"Anyways, we should leave you two alone, it's getting late, and I think we all need some rest!" Andrew said.

They all agreed, and let the conversation end as they all went to the hall to grab their coats. Brittany helped Santana get up, rubbing her back, and holding her by the waist, "Come on!"

"Hhmm…" Santana whimpered, bending to get up was such an effort. She put her arms around Brittany's neck, and once she was up, she barely let go. Her legs bent a little as she held on tightly to Brittany.

They walked to the hall but Jorge let them go ahead of him, so he could watch them. He gestured for Gloria to come over to him.

"Honey, wait, we're staying." He whispered.

"Why…? Is Santana okay?"

"I just want to make sure before we leave."

Brittany kissed her parents and Chloe goodbye, Santana holding onto her arm, her head on her shoulder. They walked out, Chloe going out last, but Santana spoke up before Brittany closed the door.

"Hey Chloe, silk scarves hide things better than wool ones!" Chloe killed Santana with a look before she disappeared into the outside corridor, following her parents.

"Wait what?" Julie was confused. "What are you hi.." Julie grabbed her daughter's scarf and pulled it from her neck. "Did Damian do that? CHLOE!" She ranted.

"But mom, I'm 19 now and…" Brittany closed the door, giggling. She really loved how Chloe and Santana interacted together.

Santana's legs bent again.

"Santana, you sure you're alright?" Her dad asked.

"Yeah… I think I did a little too much today…."

"You're having another contraction, San?" Brittany asked her worry obvious.

"No…" She breathed deeper to bear the discomfort. "I don't know… I need to sit…"

She let go of Brittany's arm, and took her hand instead, asking for another kind of support. Her dad went to take her free hand, and supported back strongly, so she wouldn't have to push too hard on her legs to walk.

"Try to walk a bit… Look, just walk a few steps with us, okay?" Jorge suggested.

"Okay…" She breathed, starting to walk towards the bedroom. "It feels better…" They kept going, moving along with Santana's slower pace.

"How did you feel today?" Jorge persisted.

"The usual. Just small stomach pains, a little nauseous. Why?"

"Just curious." Jorge seemed deep in thought.

When they were about to enter the bedroom, Santana had another contraction, which Jorge and Brittany's support helped her get through easily. However they had to stop walking, Santana gripping forcefully onto their hands.

"I really need to go to bed…"

They made her sit on the edge of the bed, and she leaned back on both of her hands until the pain passed.

"Did the baby move a lot tonight?" Jorge asked when the contraction was over.

"No, she's been like…super-calm since noon." Jorge grabbed his phone out of his pocket. "Why?" Santana asked.

He dialed a number, an action that made all the women frown. He smiled widely at them as he listened to the other phone start to ring.

"Babies don't kick when they're about to be born."

* * *

><p>Thanks to my super-efficient Beta !<br>So guys, are you looking forward to the next chapter ? Did you like this one ? Tell me what you think ! :)


	6. Chapter 6

_**Flashback**_

"Brittany, I want to know if you're thinking about spending the rest of your life on this couch."

"Mom, I'm working on a script."

"I wasn't aware of the fact that you suddenly became a writer and entered a wonderful phase of creativity." Julie's sarcasm exploded into million particles in the air.

"I... hmm.. I need some time; I need to think about some stuff..." Brittany muttered.

"Well, I do think it's Saturday night and that you should be outside with your friends; breathing air other than the same stale air in this living-room."

"Not really in the mood..." the blonde said in irritation.

Julie just stood there arms crossed staring at her daughter.

"What?"

"CHLOE, COME OVER HERE." Brittany was surprised, she put the script down.

"Uh mom, I'm on the phone!" She yelled from the kitchen.

"Get over here NOW!" Julie demanded as only a mother can.

"Whaaaaattttt!"She rushed whispering to her phone that she'll call back later. "What's wrong?"

"Do something with your sister."

"Like what?" Chloe said. Brittany tried to interrupt but her mom raised her hand signaling for her eldest to shut her mouth.

"Make her laugh! Make her do something; I can't stand to see her like that anymore!" And she rushed out of the room, furious. "And stop talking on the damn phone! Your brain will burn!"

"Weird..." Chloe was kind of shocked by her mother's behavior, she was usually so sweet. "What did you do to make her that angry?" She said glaring at her sister.

"Nothing, I was reading and she just..." She moved her hands like a storm, "Couldn't get off of me!"

"Anyways... What do you wanna do?"

"I really want to finish reading this stuff... Stay with me? She won't stop bugging me if you leave."

"Fine..." Chloe took the remote and put the TV on. She flicked through the channels.

Their parent's left for the restaurant, Julie making sure to threaten her eldest daughter one last time.

"You know what I need?... a drink." Brittany sighed.

"If you give me a beer, I'll shut my mouth concerning your growing alcohol problem."

"Deal!"

Brittany went to the kitchen and took two fresh beers out of the fridge.

"I should really be ashamed of giving you booze..." She said as she threw herself back onto the couch.

"Britt, does it bother you if I watch the Grammy's? They say in the papers she won't be there..."

"Whatever... I don't care."

"Awesome!" Chloe made herself even more comfortable with her beer, and Brittany watched the TV without really paying intention. "Let's see who kicks some ass!"

...

The show was almost over, and there had been no sign of Santana. Brittany nodded off on the couch, her sister was still outrageously excited.

"I think there's only one number left but... they missed a lot of important awards! Britt get up! COME ON! Who do you think will win?"

"Like I care..." Brittany said tiredly.

...

Santana was behind the curtain backstage. Gloria stood right next to her, holding her by the shoulders. Patrick wasn't far, stressed as hell. She still didn't say a word, not a nod, not a smile. Even worse, she seemed sadder than before. He came closer.

"Santana... this is your last chance...Please..Talk..."

The man who was announcing the final awards, one of these handsome singers, started talking.

...

"_For the last number tonight... Yes, I know you're all sad. This is with considerable emotion that I will award someone we've been missing a lot lately. Someone we all love, we all support._"

"Britt, get the fuck up!"

"_This is my chance, tonight to share the immense respect and gratitude we all feel, deep inside our hearts. Santana Lopez taught us how to listen to music again, how important is to feel it with our souls... Ladies and Gentlemen, Best Album of the Year, for "Miles Away"..." _He paused, making the suspense grow._ "Best Song of the Year for "Collapsing". _He rocked back and forth on his feet before shouting, "_Best R&B Song and Best R&B Vocal Performance for "Collapsing", Best Pop song, Best Pop Vocal Performance AND Best video for "Feathers eyes"... SANTANA …..LOPEZ!_"

"SHE WON IT ALL! BRITT!" Chloe jumped to her feet dancing around the room screaming, "SHE FUCKING WON IT ALL!" Chloe was proud but she was also just a little angry, it was definitely bittersweet for her.

Brittany's eyes went wide. She didn't know if she really wanted to see her, to hear her. By reflex, she went to take the remote to turn the TV off. Chloe smacked her hand knocking the remote across the room.

"Don't even think about it, I want to hear!" They locked their eyes on the screen, as the curtain started to open.

...

Puck was with his guitar, in the corner of the stage. Behind him, the drums. On the other side, the violinists Patrick had chosen for her. None of them dared to look at the assembly. Puck was used to that kind of shows, nevertheless, only his longtime friendship with Santana kept him from running off of the stage to hide. He knew her so well; he was there when the tabloids believed they were dating. Because you know, famous beautiful women couldn't be gay. So he let people talk, to protect her. He didn't want Santana to be heartbroken, he'd rather let people think she crushed his heart than have her risk what she had with Brittany. Now that she was indeed heartbroken, he couldn't leave. He knew what she was about to do, he was afraid but he had to do it, for her.

The audience was completely silent. They waited expectantly. No one had seen her for months. They didn't know what to expect. It could be the historical downfall of a major star, shot down in the prime of her success. The tension was more than palpable; it was alive and everyone felt it as their throats tightened in anticipation.

Santana walked eyes downcast, to the middle of the stage, where a cross on the ground told her where to stand. She had worn a long black dress; the simplest dress she could agree on, the material caressed the wooden floor as she walked. Her loose and lightly curly hair covered her bare shoulders.

In the spotlight, her caramel skin seemed fade to a lighter shade, and her red lipstick couldn't hide the pale complexion of her face. Santana, who usually had round cheeks, had prominent cheekbones, her face looked like she had been stuck for years in sadness and grief.

Her arms crossed almost unconsciously on her chest, like a child waiting to be punished or scolded; a very frightened, fragile, frail child.

The spotlights grew softer as they focused solely on her.

Puck started to play his guitar, all alone, from the dark area of the stage. Santana didn't move. With every played chord, he hoped she'd make it, Puck willed her to do this but even he wasn't sure. The guitar part she wrote started softly. He understood very quickly in the studio that he had to play his best, it had to be cool.

She missed her opening.

He played it again, louder and more intense this time, he wasn't going to give up on her so easily. She moved her hands, letting go of the grip she had been holding her own body in. She placed them along her body, slightly opened to the sky. He knew she was about to start.

"_Talk to me, they whispered to my sleeping ears..._

_Faded in my lost mind, they sounded like ashes..._

Her whispers felt rusty. Her tones used to be so melodious; she only had pure raw emotion left.

_They praise my cries, drying my empty eyes..._

_The melody of the notes deafens my voice..._

The deep guitar in the background melted with her. She was slowly diving in her music; she closed her eyes and frowned. She raised her hands, she was praying. There was a rest in the score, full of heavy meaning.

_From theatre to theatre, I made this circus dance..._

The rough drums started to beat, like a sick heart pulsating erratically its last beats, its death throes. A few tears formed in the corner of her eyes and they shined in the bright lights. She made every consonant resound louder, and then she let the words die in her throat.

_Those insane ghosts, who floundered me in Hell,_

_Miles and miles I walked, flying away... flying away..._

_Missing stupidly what my heart would say..._

She moved one step closer to the audience, closed her fists tightly, and her eyes went wide, straight into people's souls. Lower notes ended her verse, only to make the violins crash through the theater like a wild storm. Her features conveyed her intensity sweeping the audience along with her into Hell.

_By night I lie,_

_You still love my symphony_

_By night I lie,_

_My thoughts are still yours._

Her voice regained all her strength_. _Her loose hair couldn't hide the tension in her neck muscles rippling under her skin as she sang higher and higher.

_Insanity repeats over the phrases you left,_

_But every minute, they dwell on my silence..._

_Mourning this wound would welcome my loss,_

_Your absence buries deeper my words._

She was crying, with all her heart, a river flowed down her cheeks. She could care less about the people in the audience, her friends and family, coworkers, even the haters. All she could picture in her mind was Brittany, her smile, her tender embrace, her whispers in the morning, her last loving glance before she fell asleep.

The music kept playing creating a storm, waves of sounds and rests blowing through the room around people's heads, picking them up and crashing them down again.

_Your softness remains through my madness_

_This my last chance to breathe, to hope_

_For the life your wishes could have granted_

_I flirt with the appealing void... The void..._

_By night I lie,_

Her voice sounded like a loud cry, a request of release from her inner darkness, dissociated from her own body, weak, oh so weak.

_My heart... is safe in your own hands,_

Like a call for help, her first, only and last call for help.

_By night I lie,_

She couldn't feel more naked, more exposed, more vulnerable as terror shook her body, yet never affecting the strength of her voice. It was painful to watch, so much despair, so much fear, her whole being tensing for the biggest fight of her life.

_My heart is strong in your own hands,_

_By night I lie..._

She stopped, and took a heavy breath, she lowered her head, her eyes locked on the ground. She let the music die in the silence.

_Endlessly…"_

She whispered, in the quiet heaviness. All her previous strength vanished, only a shadow of herself remained there on the wooden floor of the stage. The lights went dark.

...

"Britt..." Chloe whispered her hands clutched to her heart. "Britt..."

Brittany was motionless, up in front of the TV. She remained there, slack, lifeless.

"She... San is... Oh Britt..." Chloe was almost crying. She felt so bad for her sister, but also for Santana. Her lament made her heart explode in a million pieces. She turned to face her sister, who didn't seem there, she looked empty.

"Britt... You need to do something... She...You saw that..."

"No." Brittany said softly.

"What do you mean, no?"

Brittany said nothing.

"What do you mean, NO?" Chloe insisted, furiously.

"No." Brittany looked at her sister. "No, I don't believe her."

_**End of the flashback.**_

* * *

><p>"Hi its Dr. Lopez, is Ferguson there? Huh uh... When will she be on call?... Okay. My daughter is going into labor and will deliver sometime today. Tell her when she takes her shift she'd better be ready, tell her there's no way she makes my baby wait, got it ? ….I'll let her know when Santana is about to leave for the Hospital. ...Thank you. Bye."<p>

"So, that's it..." Santana whispered.

Brittany, who was next to her, reached for her hands, and held them so very, very tight, all smiles.

"What do we do now?" Santana said, locking her eyes with Brittany's.

"We wait, you relax..."

"Brittany, can you come with me please, just for a minute?" Jorge asked. She joined him into the corridor, and he led them to the kitchen. He put his arm around her shoulder as they walked.

"Don't let her crush your hand." He joked.

"She can crush whatever she wants" Brittany chuckled.

"Brittany," He started, turning in the kitchen, "We can stay, or we can leave. It's up to you. You might want to be on your own with her. I'd totally understand." She didn't really know what to say, so he kept going. "I'll keep my phone with me; you can call whenever you need..."

"No, stay! Please?" She pulled herself together, she was such a mess of chaotic emotions. "Stay, she might need you around."

"But what about you, what do you need?" Jorge asked softly.

"I need you too... I dreaded this moment as much as I expected it. I'm worried, it got her exhausted, and I have all these fears it's going to be too much for her and won't turn out well. I know she's afraid too. She'll feel safer, so will I. She'll need her dad, I'll need the doctor. Please, stay."

He happily nodded. Everybody feared it might be a tough ordeal for Santana, as a doctor and a father, he did as well. He also trusted his beloved science, medicine, and the power of family support. So he nodded.

"Come on, Mom," He squeezed her shoulder "We have a rough night ahead... And remember; don't ever try to reason with a woman in labor and don't take anything she might say to heart!" Jorge chuckled at the look of fear on Brittany's face.

They joined Santana and Gloria back in the bedroom. Brittany came to kneel in front of Santana, and stroked her thighs through her clothes. Santana was a bit lost, but she felt lucky to have her whole family around her.

"We'll have to wait now..." Santana whispered.

"We do indeed..." Brittany rubbed her stomach, "We do indeed."

"Santana, you should try to get some sleep before the contractions really kick in or your water breaks." Santana looked up, and Brittany turned to see Jorge give his wise suggestions. "I don't think it'll start before..." He looked at his watch "It's almost 11pm, let's say... for not at least three hours."

"Three hours, okay," Santana repeated, "But I don't think I can sleep right now..."

"Is there anything that might help?" Brittany asked softly, continuously rubbing Santana's stomach.

"A shower..."

"It might get your labor to speed up, but it'll ease the contractions." Her dad said. "Whatever you want, mija."

"Yeah, let's go for a shower. Britt, can you grab my bag, I have comfy clothes in it." Gloria indicated to Brittany to stay with Santana as she reached for it herself. Brittany stood back up on her feet, and put Santana's arms on her shoulders to help her up. She whimpered. "I'm so _not_ gonna miss that..." Brittany smiled.

"Hey folks... you're staying, right?"

"Yeah, we'll be in the living room." Jorge winked at Brittany.

Gloria gave Brittany the bag and rubbed her daughter's back.

"Come on sweetie, don't worry, I made it through, it's not as bad as people think." Her mother soothed kissing her on the cheek, and joining Jorge close to the door frame, "Shout if you need something, okay?" Gloria said with excitement. Santana and Brittany nodded numbly.

Once they were alone, Brittany helped Santana to get herself ready for a bath since standing up seemed a bit risky.

Santana felt good in the water. It always eased her, and she was glad it worked again. She made the bath not too hot, and for few minutes she let go of all her doubts and fears. Brittany sat on the floor, arms leaning on the bathtub's edge. She watched Santana mellow out, and she lovingly stroked her cheek or her arm, with feather light finger strokes.

"With all your swimming sessions and baths and stuff, I bet she'll be captain of a swimming team." Brittany said, grabbing some water in her palm to put it on Santana's arm.

"Britt, give me your hand!" Santana suddenly whimpered. "I feel one coming..." She tensed, making the water splash around her.

"Breathe baby, just breathe." She did, strongly encircling Brittany's hand with her own for few minutes. She finally let go.

"But it'll ease the contractions' my ass!" Santana quoted her father, half-serious, half-joking. Keeping in mind Jorge's advice, Brittany didn't comment. "When was the last contraction?"

"Half an hour or so, hon"

"Why does it take so long? I wish she could just pop out in the water!" Santana joked, "Look!"

The baby was moving, and the blurry shape of a foot appeared on Santana's tight skin, not a kick, just a lazy push. Brittany slightly stroked it.

"She's getting ready too... Aren't you cold, the water's not so hot anymore...?" Brittany asked lovingly.

"Yeah, you're right." Santana winced at Brittany, and gestured with her hands she wanted to get out.

Brittany went to take a large towel out of the cupboard, and a bathrobe hung on the bathroom door. Santana slowly got out, holding onto the walls and the bathtub edges for more support.

"Hold on, hold on," Brittany put the clothes on her shoulder and supported Santana hurriedly, "don't fall..."

She put the towel around Santana, who dried her chest and stomach. Brittany helped her slide into the bathrobe.

"Can you take a clean towel to the bed, I'm gonna rest a bit... Just in case..."

"Yeah..." She said as Santana put her new clothes on. "Come on, come cuddle with me." Brittany suggested, leading her to the bedroom.

They laid together, Brittany the big spoon. Waiting for each contraction, Santana closed her eyes, feeling as good as was possible in the moment just being in Brittany's arms. Before it really quickened, Santana could take very small naps, or at least relax.

Brittany, however, felt her anxiety grow. She was glad Santana couldn't see her; she was a very bad liar when it came to hiding her feelings.

Another contraction ended.

"This one was easier than the last..."

"They are less than fifteen minutes apart now San. I should go wake up your parents." She let go of her embrace, and stood up.

"Wait!" Santana cried.

Brittany sat back on the edge of the bed.

"This is our last moment together alone!" She took Brittany's hand lightly kissed it. "I want to remember this moment forever." She grabbed her phone off the nightstand. "Come over here baby."

Brittany bent down and kissed her cheek, while Santana took a picture with her phone.

"Another." Santana lay on her back, and Brittany kissed her fully on her lovely mouth. Click. "Perfect! Now, we can go."

"No, no, you stay here; I'll just be a minute."

"I need to come with you" She sat on the bed, holding on her back. "I wanna walk."

In the living room, her parents were asleep on the couch, the TV light coloring the dark room. Her father was snoring, and he held Gloria tight. Santana and Brittany smiled at the cute scene. Santana gestured she wanted to sit in the armchair, and on their way, Brittany switched the dim light on. Santana's father cleared his throat right away.

"Hello" Santana whispered happily, Jorge tenderly shook Gloria who was dead-asleep.

"How are you doing?" His rusty voice finally waking Gloria up.

"Fine, just a watermelon trying to crash through my womb..."

"No, seriously, how is it progressing? You alright?" He said all serious doctor now not father.

"Yeah, I'm good.. Fifteen minutes apart, for an hour now."

"Great! We still have a little time though... We should leave when it's about ten minutes apart. What time is it?"

"Almost 4." Brittany pointed the clock on the wall.

"I'm gonna make some coffee..." Gloria said, trying to get rid of her sleepiness, and she went to the kitchen.

She came back later with three mugs, and Brittany felt grateful, she'd really need coffee tonight... They all waited in the living room and planned. Brittany and Santana should go first in their car, and Jorge and Gloria would follow them. He would call the Hospital from the car so Ferguson could prepare a room.

Jorge went to the girls' car to put everything they might need in it. In the meantime, Gloria and Brittany did their best to help Santana handle the long wait.

About an hour later, it was finally time. Santana was kind of relieved to leave; Brittany held on and tried not to panic.

During the car ride, Brittany barely let go of Santana's hand. The contractions started to tire Santana, especially since she had such little sleep lately. Luckily, there was no traffic, or very little at such an early hour.

When they arrived at the Hospital, Dr. Ferguson was waiting for them outside, with a wheelchair and a nurse. She had reserved the best room in the maternity ward for them. Except for the hospital bed, nothing looked like an hospital room. It was light beige on the walls, with pictures of pink flowers hung here and there.

It was just details, but it was important for both Santana and Brittany. They were both so anxious; a cold, sterile, white hospital room would have made it worse. Once he was sure Santana was fine, Jorge left with Gloria, promising not to go too far away.

They were glad to learn that Santana was dilated enough to get an IV put in, to quicken the labor. Once Ferguson left, Santana stood up and leaned her hands against the bed, rocking her hips. She just couldn't stand being stuck in a bed anymore.

"God, it hurts..." Santana pleaded.

Brittany knew that trying to make her do something like breathe properly right now was pointless. She pulled herself together and tried a "make-or-break time" thing. She came closer, and pressed herself against Santana's back. She started to massage Santana's shoulders quietly, applying more and more pressure with her thumbs. Santana didn't move, so she kept going.

"Do you remember that day, in the park?" Brittany said with her most tender voice.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know, you made us dance... two guys played the song you love."

"Yeah, and?" She kept rocking her hips back and forth, annoyed and in pain.

"There were birds on the ground. They were dancing with us." Santana didn't answer, Brittany didn't even know if she was really listening to her. "They always did three steps and pause. Like tah tah tah …" She applied three small pressures on Santana's shoulders with her thumbs, and then, stopped for a second. She did it again. "Tah tah tah..." And again.

Santana let her continue, actually. The pressure was almost distracting her from her aching body. Slowly, she got the rhythm. She started to make three exhalations, and one inhalation just like she had learned.

"Tah tah tah ..." Brittany breathed loudly. She kept going. Santana followed her quiet orders.

...

Jorge and Gloria were wandering back and forth from his office to Santana's room. In the maternity ward, they could see all the open doors, women in labor trying to fight the contractions, others feeding their newborn babies. Gloria squeezed Jorge, and he put a kiss on her forehead. They passed by a room, where a woman was yelling. Her husband was desperately trying to make her breath to get through the pain of her contractions. And from the flow of insults Gloria and Jorge heard, he was sadly failing. It made Gloria giggle.

"I was kinda like that, wasn't I?"

"Even worse... Much worse... There's a reason why I didn't knock you up a second time."

"OH!" She poked him in the ribs. They laughed a little as they passed the room. They were almost at Santana and Brittany's. Their door was barely closed, so Gloria pushed it ajar very carefully.

Santana was up, leaning with all her weight by the shoulders against Brittany, who was holding her arms and hands from behind. She was having a huge contraction.

"Come on, don't speed your breaths, empty your lungs instead, come on, one... two... three..." Santana complied, her three breaths turning into heavy groans, and her pause almost into a cry. "Again, one... two... three... Together, one... two... three..." Santana relaxed in Brittany's embrace, panting, it was over. Brittany kissed her warm cheek as Santana regained her composure.

"_That'_s a team." Gloria whispered.

"I've never doubted it." He said very proudly.

At that moment, Dr. Ferguson came rushing over.

"They're doing pretty great, Lopez"

"That's what I see..."

She entered again quickly, wasting no time, and left Santana's parents in front of a closed door. Dr. Ferguson examined her again.

"Ladies... I think we're ready! We're gonna head to the delivery room now..."

The nurses set everything up, Brittany put a gown on and helped Santana get out of hers, and Dr. Ferguson showed how she should position herself on the bed of the new room. She leaned flat against it, already tired because of the sleepless night, her fears, and the whole pregnancy.

"Let the show begin..." Ferguson said for herself, as she set the last details.

"I'm so proud of you..." Brittany whispered in her ear. Santana cracked a smile.

"Another contraction is coming; I'll tell you when to push." Both Santana and Brittany braced themselves. Santana started to tense.

"Hold on... hold on..." Santana whimpered. "And... push!" Santana held tight on Brittany's hand. "Keep going, keep going..." She was barely breathing through her effort. "Relax!"

...

Almost two hours later, Santana was beyond exhausted. She fought with all her energy, but the baby was moving very slowly. All her fears rushed into her tired mind, she felt it wasn't near the end. She looked up at Brittany, and shook her head in disapproval, sobbing.

"No, no, don't give up honey..." She cuddled her, tightening her grip on Santana's hand.

"Santana, the head is almost here, hold on. When I catch it, it'll be easier, trust me, just few more pushes... We can't stop right now or we'll be in serious trouble... Few more pushes!" Brittany and Ferguson had a very short time frame to motivate Santana again, before another contraction would start.

"Just the head, San, focus on the head..."

"Just the head..." Santana repeated through her whimpers. "Just the head..."

"Come on, push! Push harder!" Santana had tears rolling down her cheeks. "Don't stop, keep going Santana..." For the first time since they started, Santana's groans turned into screams, the pain taking her body over, Dr. Ferguson hardly pressing on her stomach. "It's almost here... And relax! You did good, one more, two maybe and it'll be over..."

"Just the head honey..."

"Do the same, and it might be the last for the head, I promise."

Santana was terrified, Brittany could tell. She was devastated to see her in such pain. She was afraid to touch her, as if her whole body was aching. However, when Santana glanced at her, with her sad look clearly feeling forsaken, Britt couldn't help herself, she slid her arm between the bed and Santana's sweaty back, sat on the bed, and tried to take the position they had before, as much as possible.

"Together... you're safe with me..." It seemed to give Santana just enough hope to push one more time. Brittany looked at Dr. Ferguson, who was about to nod when Santana should push again. "One, two..."

"And push!"

"Again, again, again..." Brittany softly encouraged.

"I see the head.. Keep going, keep going..." Santana yelled as much as her tired lungs allowed her to.

"Come on, again..." Brittany fought to keep Santana from holding back only to give her more courage, enduring Santana's heartbreaking screams.

"I'll catch her... Come on, keep going...And Relax!.. We need just another, Santana! For the shoulders this time." Ferguson spat, filling her words with energy as she tried to hide her worry.

"I can't..." She let out between sobs. "I can't..."

Brittany strengthened her hold, and bent a little bit more, resting her chin on Santana's shoulder. Dr. Ferguson glanced at Brittany again, telling her with no words she'd have to push very soon.

"San, for me, one... two... THREE !"

"Harder Santana, HARDER!" Santana's scream blended with the sobs, "HARDER!"

"Come on, San..." Santana swallowed her cries, as she fought with the very little strength she had left. Their grip was so intense that their hands were shaking under the pressure, melted together.

"Harder... For the shoulders! HARDER!"

"Give me my Sophia..." Hearing their daughter's name, Santana cried louder than ever, and held on for minutes that felt like hours... before she let out a high-pitched scream and her whole body went suddenly limp.

"I GOT HER! It's over... It's over."

Brittany carefully laid Santana back on the bed, trembling and sobbing. Only Santana's panting filled the air, Ferguson remained silent. Santana started to worry, and she knew Brittany was too but kept it quiet.

"Cry..." Santana was barely audible, never letting go of Brittany's hand.

She couldn't see what was happening, but she felt Brittany tighten her hold. Seconds crawled by painfully.

And then, they heard a tiny, but still strong cry. Santana chuckled, letting go of her pain, eight months of doubts and worries. Ferguson put Sophia on her chest, all warm and wet, with a large smile. A nurse cleaned the crying baby straight on Santana's skin, moving at every chuckle.

Santana raised her lazy arm so Sophia could rest on it. She started to cradle her, as if she was naturally made for motherhood. She wiped her pain tears away and then she stroked her daughter's red and rounded cheek, with a very careful fingertip.

"Hello, Sophia..." She tried to bend her head but a pain grew in her lower back. She'd kiss her baby another time. There would be plenty of time for that now. "Hello baby girl… Hello…" She cooed, the first words her daughter would hear.

Brittany didn't move. She had her hand on her mouth, tears in the corner of her eyes. With relief and happiness flooding her face, Santana looked up at her. Brittany laughed at the sight; her heart couldn't contain all the love she felt, so she laughed, tenderly.

* * *

><p>Thanks you so much for your reviews and for coming on tumblr talk to me :)<br>If you liked the song, Vanille-Strawberry (who also writes awesome Brittana fanfictions you should all read) recorded an amazingly soft version of this song I wrote, you can find it on my tumblr (link on my profile)! Also, many many thanks to my beta who is so supportive :) !  
>I hope you'll like that chapter as much as I do... Tell me what you think !<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Santana's parents were waiting anxiously in the corridor full of running nurses. Gloria couldn't wait any longer in her husband's office. She convinced Jorge to let her go closer to the delivery room, just in case, just to be sure. They were pacing up and down, quietly, nervously.

Dr. Ferguson asked Brittany if she wanted to cut the cord, which of course she did. The doctor delivered the placenta, and made sure Santana was fine. She made room for the nurses to do their jobs, took off her gloves and gown, and left for a second. When she closed the door behind her, she took a deep breath and shook her head and fists to relieve herself of the pressure.

"Is she alright? We heard her scream, are they alright? " Gloria rushed.

"Yeah, she's okay. The end was a little complicated." Ferguson answered before she could pull herself together.

"What happened?" Jorge inquired, frowning.

"Yeah..." Ferguson cleared her voice. "The epidural effects didn't last long enough, and the head took really long to get through the pelvis. I was afraid we might need to do a Cesarean. She managed to get it done just when I was about to decide. Brittany helped me push her into her last resource. She's really weak; I'll see how she does tonight, after she's rested. But it's gonna be fine."

Both Jorge and Gloria sighed, relieved.

"And the baby?"

"What a baby!" Ferguson jokingly punched Jorge's shoulder, "Lopez genes are strong ones! I wouldn't be all fresh either if I had to push out a baby like that one... No need to worry, like her mom, she gave us a little scare. I'll watch her all day, just in case, but I do think she's more than fine." Jorge hugged Ferguson with a 'Thank you' and a look inquiring of her own condition. "Anytime… I just needed a moment to… you know."

"Was it that hard?" Jorge worried.

"Kind of…You know how it is, the more you care about the patient; the more it's hard to see them suffer." She breathed heavily, "But you have no choice, you've got to do the work, even if it's hard on you physically and mentally."

She said to Gloria since Jorge agreed shaking his head. "I don't think you can see her yet… I mean them, for a few hours, they are all, Brittany included, on their knees, all done in."

"Yeah, we'll call Brittany's parents; we'll wait as any others family would in the waiting room. It's weird to be on the other side for once." Jorge smiled.

"I bet." She chuckled. "I'm gonna go rest now, take care of that beautiful baby girl!"

...

Back in her room, in the comfy bed, Santana felt slightly better. Sophia has been taken away to test her vitals. Santana was more than relieved. It was finally over. She still was in pain, but it wouldn't last long, only the joy would soon be left. She had so many emotions running through her head, she was immensely glad she made it, and that Sophia was healthy.

She wanted to enjoy their baby's birth, she really did, but exhaustion took over. She softly fell asleep. Brittany watched her sleep for a while; she didn't want to leave her alone, not just yet. She took a chair and sat close to the bed. She stroked her hand. She looked so exhausted, it was clear she couldn't have made it for another week, or during a longer delivery.

She was frowning in her sleep, her muscles were still tense. Brittany allowed her own fatigue to take over, and she rested her head on the edge of the bed.

When she was sure Santana was soundly asleep for a while, Brittany slowly tiptoed out of the room.

In the waiting room, Jorge and Gloria, her parents and Chloe were there patiently waiting. Chloe rushed over and hugged her sister tightly.

"Congrats' Mama!" And Brittany's family went into a big family hug.

"How are they? How's Santana, the baby?" Brittany gestured for them all to slow down, since she needed time to process out as she was still so fatigued.

"They're both fine, Santana sleeps and they took Sophia to do some tests..."

"So, her name is Sofia! That's Spanish!" Gloria said enthusiastically with a strong Puerto Rican accent.

"Actually it's S.O.P.H.I.A" She said with a lazy smile mixed with adoration.

"It's still a bit Spanish!" Gloria's excitement made everyone laugh.

"Fair enough!" Julie sang, satisfied.

They all congratulated Brittany, as she hugged them one after the other, her sister hugging her so tightly she made them rock.

"So, how was it? Jorge told us that..." Andrew couldn't find the right words.

"Yeah, Santana was... You should have seen her, she was in such pain! It took really long, it could have been worse but still. Once we got back to her room, she passed out immediately. I hope she'll be fine..."

"Awww come on, sweetie, come on..." Her mother held her, rubbing her back. "She just needs to rest now, okay?" She tried to brush Brittany's doubts away. "She'll be back on her feet soon... For you, I felt like I was delivering a building and its hundred railings, come on!" Brittany chuckled into her mother's embrace, closing her eyes and enjoyed the reassuring hug.

"Brittany, if you want to take a nap in my office, there's a couch..."

"No, no thank you, I'm fine. I'm just gonna sleep a little in the room's chair until they bring Sophia back. I don't want San to wake up alone, you know..."

"No problem." He squeezed her shoulder. "So, now both our families are officially and forever linked by our adorable baby, Sophia. Why don't we celebrate in the marvelous lunchroom since we are all starving?" Jorge proposed.

They all agreed happily. "Brittany, do you want me to bring you something to eat later?"

"That would be nice, thank you..."

They left, and Brittany went back to Santana, sleeping like a baby herself. It made Brittany smile.

She eased herself in the chair, and sighed. In the complete silence, she let a storm of emotions rage in her head. She was kind of glad Sophia was away for awhile, it would have been too much to handle right now, with her racing mind, bursting heart and her tired body.

She rested her feet on the bed legs, and fell asleep too.

...

When Santana slowly woke up, she whimpered. Her body was so sore, her legs seemed heavy, and her head... was hurting as if she had been punched right in the face at least a dozen times. She lazily shook it, and made herself more comfortable in the bed. She tried to open her eyes, but even the soft light blinded her.

"Hello gorgeous" Brittany tenderly whispered from her chair.

Santana tried again to open her eyes, a little bit more successfully this time. Brittany was rocking a sleeping Sophia in her arms. A small lamp lightened the dark room, like a peaceful night-light welcoming Sophia to her first night. Close to them, Brittany had left an almost empty baby bottle on a table, some leftovers from what Jorge got her to eat earlier, a book and several pairs of baby clothes and covers filling a cradle.

Santana lightly tapped on the sheets next to her, too tired to speak, and moved to make room on the bed. Brittany switched her holding arm, so Santana could see Sophia. The bed was large enough for the both of them to sit easily. Brittany eased herself next to her wife, and Santana rested her tired head on Brittany's other shoulder.

"You should have waked me up, to feed her..."

Brittany chuckled, "We tried, but you were... in another world for a while." Santana scrunched up her face and cuddled up closer to Brittany.

"Did the whole tribe come?"

"Yeah, I saw them right after you fell asleep. Your father came by during his shift too. I texted the others to pop in tomorrow... I thought the three of us were way too tired to handle my sister today..." She said with a smile, as Sophia moved in her sleep.

"You're probably right... Who do you think she'll look like?" Brittany smiled.

"I don't know…" She said as she caressed the very few dark hairs on Sophia's head. "We'll see in a few weeks…" Sophia slowly opened her eyes and frowned, she was about to cry. Brittany lightly rubbed Sophia's back.

"Speak of the devil, look who's hungry…" Santana sat up better in the bed, freed her shoulder from her clothes, and raised her hands so she could hold her. Brittany carefully switched their hold. It was still a bit unsteady, but they would get used to it really quickly. Santana lowered her arm so Sophia could be in the perfect position to be fed.

"Do you want me to call a nurse?"

"No, no, I'll try on my own…I kicked her out of my womb, I should be able to feed her…"

Brittany laughed. Yes, Santana was beyond exhausted, but motherhood didn't change her. It took a few tries before Sophia clasped her mouth tightly on Santana's nipple. Sophia put her tiny hand close to her nose as she sucked eagerly.

"Told ya, you can't fool a Lopez-Pierce when it comes to food." Santana smiled widely. "It's genetic."

"If she makes me cook lasagna instead of her baby food, I'm blaming you all the way."

"Ugh… I don't think I could eat lasagna for at least the next decade…"

"Good to hear! How does it feel?" Brittany peeked at Sophia.

"It… tickles." Brittany played with a small foot lost in its too large sock. "I'm so happy Britt. I don't think I've ever felt so happy before." Santana looked into Brittany's eyes, asking for a kiss. Brittany complied, and put the lightest kiss on her lips.

"I know, that's paradise."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

"You don't believe her." Chloe needed time to process. "Let me get this straight. Santana just sang her heart out on national television, I'm sorry, but saying that she can't live without you, and you don't… believe… her…? She almost died on stage!"

"That's marketing."

"Do you have eyes? Do you have ears? I mean… Did you hear her?"

"Yeah, she's a wonderful actress, and I bet she'll win the Oscar too." Chloe would have yelled, she would have been violent, but it was too much to handle. So she remained quiet for a while. Brittany sat back on the couch, and let her eyes stare at the ground, empty. Chloe watched her, perplexed, and hurt. Minutes flew by, both of them lost in their thoughts.

It was too much for Chloe. Her sister was hurt, no doubt about that, but Chloe couldn't cope with dishonesty, with Brittany lying to herself more than anything. She stood up furiously from her armchair, and walked straight to Brittany, "_WAKE UP_."

Brittany looked up, shocked by her sister's tone.

"_Wake up from your fucking denial !_"

"I know her better than you do, so watch your mouth Chloe!"

"I know you better than you know yourself, so wake up from your denial, or I'll go find her and I'll tell her."

"Tell her what?" Brittany said, challenging.

"That you're too lost to realize that she's the one. You're a ghost without her, you're being selfish, and you're _stupid_."

"Don't call me that!"

"What are you gonna do? Slap me? This is what you are being right now, you're stupid. You'd rather let yourself vanish than fight for her. It's fucking easy to blame her for everything, but did you visit her on tour?_Did you fucking do that__?_"

"Chloe, this is none of your business."

"This is my business since I have to babysit you and sit here and watch you die!"

"_I said this is not of your business!_" Brittany screamed.

"Stop being so childish! You're walking all over her just like she did to you in high school!"

"This is completely different."

"No it's not. You're afraid to deal with your feelings, just like she was back then so you're walking all over her now." Chloe waited for Brittany to react but her sister just looked at her sadly. "What do you want Brittany? Either you love her, or you don't. I think you do so, what do you want?"

"I don't know…" Brittany sighed.

"It's very fucking easy, isn't it? Either you love her or you don't?" Chloe said impatiently.

Tears traced a path down Brittany's cheeks as she tried to hold them back, "You don't know… It's so complicated, it's many things but it's not fucking easy…" Chloe sighed in anger and disbelief and Brittany cried.

"You don't understand... I feel like I'm nothing without her by my side every day. I can't stand for her to be away all the time. I love her, not her ghost." She managed to say between her sobs.

"Then ask her to stay home!"

"I can't do that... I can't ask her to give up everything she's worked so hard for, for me. It's more complicated than that... I don't want to make her choose between me and her work, it's not fair..."

"But you made her choose! Don't you see that?" Chloe pointed to the TV. "You made her_ choose_ between pretending she'd be fine without you, making her life a damn lie, and giving up all she had to fight back for you. She chose _you _over it all. Think whatever you want, but she already chose _you_."

"If I go back, it'd be the same."

"_B__ritt do you hear yourself__?_ You and your fucking pride, you disgust me. You're throwing away 10 years of flawless romance and perfect happiness all to save your stupid pride."

Brittany wiped her tears away and kept looking at her sister, lost.

"The only thing holding you back is that if you go get her, you'll have to admit you made the biggest, most stupid mistake of your life and that you couldn't leave her again, _ever_."

Brittany had enough, "You're 17. You don't know what love is." She stormed out of the room.

"_LOOK AT ME IN THE EYE AND TELL ME I'M WRONG!_" Chloe yelled before her sister grabbed her coat and car keys from the hall and left slamming the door.

After Brittany closed the door of her car, she rested her head on the wheel, crying. She started the car, and drove nowhere for hours. The roads were empty, so she drove fast letting fate lead her.

She knew her sister was right, of course she was. Every single thing Chloe said was totally right. She just had to admit it to herself, and then to Santana. But how? She couldn't just come home and say "Hi baby, I'm back!" They'd have to talk, explain, and give answers. They'd have to think back over ten years of their life, question everything, and figure if they could start something new. She didn't know how they could do that; and especially how she'd get back to her.

Brittany drove until the very first light of day. She drove by their apartment, and saw the dark window. The apartment looked lifeless. She contemplated it for a while, the car parked on the other side of the street. She could enter and take her things and never come back or she could... wait for her.

A large car stopped in front of their apartment, quickly overrun by dozens of paparazzi. Brittany lowered her window so she could hear better. Santana followed by her parents and her manager got out of the car while the paparazzi screamed for her and called her name. All Brittany could see was her black fur coat and her crying puffy profile.

"Santana, who was your song about?"

"Santana, is this a song for your new album?"

"Santana, are you gay?"

"Santana!" "Santana!" The clamored for her attention, screaming over top of each other.

Santana entered the building without a word. A few minutes later, as the photographers took pictures of the apartment windows, she saw the lights turn on. She guessed it was Patrick who was standing by the window as a silhouette darkened the light. Those pictures would be in the tabloids Chloe would run to buy the next day. They'd be on TV, on national news, and she could already guess the headlines. The chase after Santana's story had only just begun.

Brittany felt the weight of pressure Santana would be under in her heart, pressing on her chest. Her parents and Patrick would need to be united, so they could fight the accusations, the rumors.

On the other side of the window, that was exactly was Patrick was thinking about, what was weighing on his mind.

"We can't let Santana be here or at your house. It's gonna be insane, they'll chase her, they'll chase all of us." Patrick sighed. "I can hire more bodyguards but they'll still do it." He turned to face Jorge, both of them alone in the living-room.

"They'll bury her alive if we don't come up with a strategy really soon..."

"Yeah..." Jorge sighed.

"I put her to bed, I'll sleep with her." Gloria cut in, entering the room.

Brittany was watching the shadows move through the curtains-free window.

"What are we gonna do now?" Gloria asked them.

Jorge and Patrick looked at each other, no obvious answer came up.

"For now, we all stay here. We'll figure it out, when, if she speaks." Jorge said.

Since Santana finished her song, she hadn't said a word. All she could do was cry constantly. Now that she had opened her heart, she couldn't hold back all her pain. She had given birth to that pain with that song; she would have to endure it now alone and in silence.

Everyone hoped Santana would finally talk as she let her sadness out into the light. They were all wrong and they felt more stuck and more desperate than before. Santana couldn't be allowed to be seen in such a vulnerable broken state. They had hoped to find a solution on the way home, but nothing came to any of them.

"Do we call Brittany?" Gloria put her last card on the table.

"We can't do that..." Jorge pleaded.

"Why? What can we lose if we do, what are we surely going to lose if we don't?"

"Maybe we could call her parents, to take the temperature..."

"For God sake's, they are not in High School anymore. Brittany has to come. She HAS to come and face this." Gloria cried in desperation, she couldn't stand to see her baby like this anymore.

"But we don't know what happened Gloria!" Jorge yelled, "We don't know the whole story!"

"What does it matter, she's dying Jorge, we're losing her! At least Brittany could explain it to us; maybe we would then be able to figure out how to help our daughter!"

Brittany softly started her car and took a peek at the window one last time before leaving. She kept driving as the day shone more brightly, and more people woke up and wandered through the streets. She stopped at a coffee shop, and got some energy from a large black coffee. When she exited the shop, she looked at the sky. It was clear blue, there were no clouds. Her tired eyes had a hard time staring at such a beautiful strong light. Then she watched the street life, people walking going to work, families running errands. This was just life, the everyday life going on in the world around her.

She wondered what Santana was doing, what would be her thing to achieve that day. She had nothing to feel proud about, she was tired, overwhelmed. People bumped into her, so she walked back to her car.

When she was about to press "unlock" on her key fob, something caught her eye. A few shops away, an old man was opening his jewelry store, the door creaking. She felt like it called to her, so she walked towards him, lost in her thoughts.

"Hello" He said with a smile. "I'm almost ready to open, but you can enter if you want to wait inside!"

She didn't answer back she just followed him in. While he turned the lights on, she peeked into the jewelry cases.

"So, anything you like? Are you looking for something in particular?"

She blinked at him, she was really tired.

"I want that." She pointed to a showcase.

"You want that ring? That's a lot of money..."

She didn't look very wealthy, with her hoodie and her greasy hair from the rough night, so the man was a bit skeptical.

"How much?" Brittany asked.

"$7,560 " Brittany stared at him. "Do you want to try it on?" He asked.

"No. I'll take it. I just have to grab my wallet from my car. I'm coming right back." She went out the door.

The man didn't really believe her; people usually do that when they can't afford what they want. He was very surprised to see her back within a minute.

"You said, seven thousand and...?" She lazily asked.

"$7,560, Ma'am."

She took one of her credit cards, making sure to pick one from an account Santana couldn't see. The man took the card anyway, expecting it to be refused. He was quite surprised it worked.

"Do you want gift wrapping?"

"Just the box."

"What color for the velvet? We have red, blue or black?"

"Black." She spat annoyed by all his questions. "She'd always choose black..." She whispered to herself.

The man put the little black box on the showcase in front of Brittany in a curt move. The whole scene wasn't really charming. Brittany wasn't pleasant at all, barely answering, being rude and the man didn't really know how to handle her since she was acting really bizarre. Brittany stuffed her wallet in the front pocket of her hoodie and grabbed the box as if her life depended on it.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Goodbye, Ma'am." But she already was on her way out.

Brittany was back sitting in her car. Everything had happened so quickly, she didn't know how to proceed. She opened the little black box with one finger. An impressive ring shone brightly, a big oval-shaped diamond on the front, and smaller ones on the side, white gold dots surrounding the whole thing. She had chosen the best, nothing else was good enough. Brittany took a deep breath, started the car, and put the ring in her hoodie's pocket.

On her way back to the apartment, her mind was a blank. She couldn't think, she tried but couldn't. She got annoyed by the traffic jam, the city was now fully awake, and it was full of life. She insulted people in her way, and turned to try another route, getting just as stuck. She tapped on the wheel to ease her stress, the cars ahead of her didn't move, or if they did it was terribly slow.

"_Come OOOOONNNNN"_ She groaned.

When she finally reached the apartment, she didn't see any light on. All the paparazzi were gone. Maybe they had finally left. She hurriedly closed her car door, not really well-parked on the other side of the street. She crossed the street running through the honking cars. She entered the building, and hammered on the elevator button. "27" "26" "25"…. It was way too slow, it was never going to get to the lobby. They lived on the 5th floor. She ran to the stairs, and climbed them two by two. She realized the effort when she stood in front of their door, panting. She also realized she forgot her keys at her parents. Since she didn't really live here anymore, she left them back there. She hardly knocked. No answer. She knocked again and again, still no answer.

"_I__t's__ B__rittany, open the door!_" She screamed.

No answer.

"_OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR_." She kicked the door with her feet, disappointed to find an empty place.

The door cracked open slightly, Gloria peeking through the opening.

"Where is she?" Brittany rushed in, almost pushing Gloria over.

"In the bedroom..." Gloria pointed startled.

With no word for Gloria, not even a glance, she rushed through the big apartment. The corridor cutting it in two, seemed suddenly too long, and there were too many rooms on each side. She wondered why they choose to put their bedroom at the end of it. In front of their bedroom door, she lost all her energy. With her fingertips, she nervously pushed the half open door.

Santana was lying on the bed fully clothed; the room was completely dark, Brittany only had the soft light from the corridor to see her by. All she could see was her back tight in her dress, her weak bare shoulders and her messy hair on the pillows. She was curled on the bed like a poor lost little child.

"Santana." Brittany whispered, walking to the other side of the bed, so she could see her.

Her lips were swollen, her cheeks even puffier than she saw earlier. She was frowning, and even sleep couldn't stop her tears. Brittany knelt in front of her; she raised her hand to touch her but couldn't manage.

Brittany started to cry. She was witnessing what _she_ did to her lover, the pain was so intense she was glad she was on her knees already. She watched Santana's tears slowly trace a path down the red cheeks and disappear into her neck. Brittany watched her sob unconsciously, the pain forcing her into a fitful sleep.

"What have I done...?"Brittany pleaded. "What did I do to you...?"

With unexpected courage, she pushed Santana gently onto her back, the heavy tears still falling down her cheeks. She slowly climbed onto the bed and held Santana, cheek to cheek. Santana smelled Brittany's hair.

"Stop torturing me in my dreams..." Santana implored in her sleep.

"I'm here." Brittany said through her cries.

"You're not, stop coming to torture me in my dreams..." Her words broke Brittany's heart as if it could be even more broken. She could have shaken her to wake her up, she could have insisted by talking more. Instead, she kissed her, slightly at first, but it was too much to take so she kissed her hard.

Santana's cries intensified, and her sobs made her shoulders quake. Brittany didn't release the kiss.

Suddenly, Santana's frown grew even more, and Brittany felt her lips moving under hers. She tightened her embrace, almost crashing their bodies together. Santana pulled away from the kiss, and she cried, desperately, "Britt...?"

"I'm here, I'm here..."

Santana's cries took her over. She whimpered, she groaned, allowing her despair, her pain, all of her sadness to finally explode.

"I'm here now baby..."

"Hold me... Hold me..." Santana's arms flew around Brittany's neck and she intertwined their legs.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Santana..."

"Hold me; it's all I need..."

Brittany put her head in Santana's neck, and rocked them. She tried to comfort all the sounds Santana was making, and all the cries wetting their hair. She rocked them, whispering "Shhh..."

A few minutes later, Santana's sobs relaxed a bit. Brittany loosened her hold, and watched Santana. Her eyes blinked again and again, they barely got rid of the last tears. She kissed her again with all her heart, and Santana kissed her back, just as hard.

"Santana... I..."

Santana locked her eyes with Brittany's.

"I'm so sorry it took me so long to understand that I wasn't heartbroken, it's when I'm without you my heart breaks. I forgot how much I needed you by my side. Without you, I'm nothing... I'm nothing..."

Santana's sobs started again.

"I'm sorry I let time make me forgot why we're meant to be together. I love you... I love you so much." Brittany's eyes filled with big tears too. "And I..." The words hardly came out. "I was afraid I could... lose myself, and never be able to find my way back but... I should have never left. I should have..."

In the very small space between them, she reached for the box, "I should have done this instead." She clicked the box open with a strong finger. "Santana, I'm committed to you, heart and soul, and I promise you never to leave you... ever again... because today, I've never been more certain of my love for you, and I've never been more certain that it'll last forever. I'm so sorry it took so much from you for me to understand that..."

Santana's throat was suddenly dry, her eyes wide-opened.

"I will love you unconditionally, for all my life..." She managed to get rid of the box with her fingers and keep the ring between her thumb and forefinger. "If you agree to...Marry me."

Santana never could have guessed things would turn out this way. When she finished singing, the last notes dying in her throat, she knew what she just did was out of despair, but she had no clue how it would affect Brittany, if she even was watching. Her sadness was so heavy she couldn't picture herself in the future, not even in the next ten minutes; she didn't believe she had a future. And now, Brittany was proposing in front of her, their bodies against each other in the sweetest embrace.

She stared at the ring, this huge ring slightly shining in the very soft light of the room. She wiped her tears away, her eyes suddenly very dry. She looked up at Brittany, waiting for her reaction, with a sad look on her face. She wondered if it was too good to be true, if Brittany was being honest. She looked back at the ring.

Within a second, her heart and buried thoughts unlocked. She remembered it all, their routine, missed calls and jetlag, morning cuddles when they were finally together, the High School memories, the McKinley corridors, their first kiss, love notes on napkins, and everything that happened since. It made sense in her blurry mind.

"I love you..." Brittany felt Santana's inner struggle. She pleaded for an answer, any answer.

Santana loosened their embrace a little more which displeased Brittany and scared her. Brittany felt new tears coming. What she did what risky and unexpected, but she didn't really think Santana would refuse. It wasn't possible. Santana kept staring at her, searching for clues about Brittany's true motives and if she could trust her again.

"Santana, I..." Brittany started whispering, her eyes getting wetter and wetter.

Santana roughly kissed her, fiercely, forcing Brittany onto her back, and almost off of the bed.

"Yes!" Santana kissed her again, life finally running through her veins again. "YES!"

_**End Flashback  
><strong>_

* * *

><p><em>Thank you all for your nice reviews ! You all gave me so many ideas ! Thank you, thank you! <em>


	8. Chapter 8

Gloria tiptoed into the hospital room playing with her car keys and shaking her shoulders to warm herself up.

"Mom!" Santana greeted from the chair she was plonked in. She was ready to leave, coat already on and cradling Sophia whose eyes and cheeks only were left to peek out of her coat, scarf and hat, since the December weather had worsened.

"Sweetie, where's Brittany?" Gloria closed the last bag on Santana's bed that she had helped Brittany to pack earlier.

"She's signing the last papers. She'll be here in a minute," Santana said smiling from ear to ear.

"Did we forget something?" She thought aloud.

"We checked twice, Mom..."

"Right!" She rested her hands on her hips, making the keys jingle with a bright face. "Feels good to leave the hospital huh?" She teased.

"Am I that obvious?" Santana chuckled, cut in her laugh by Brittany coming back.

"Okay ladies, we can go now!" Brittany exclaimed as she went to her wife and child. The idea of being at home with them, to live their very new life as a family began to excite her so badly. She bent over Santana. "Go?" She said with a happy sigh and placed a small kiss on her lips.

"Go" Santana whispered as she put Sophia in Brittany's arms. Once she held her tight, Santana readjusted her tiny hat making sure everything was perfect.

She wasn't recovered at all. However, Ferguson had agreed for Santana to leave the hospital on account of Jorge who promised to check on her. Sophia was in really good shape and Santana only needed to rest for awhile, so the consensus was that they would be better off at home. In all, her legs felt terribly heavy and her muscles were still a bit sore. Ferguson had explained to her that it was nothing more than her body recovering from the intense effort; she might feel this heaviness for a few days, maybe weeks, and perhaps it was a good idea that she should walk a little every day, but certainly not to push it with physical activities. Santana had been relieved when Ferguson had told her she could go swimming though; this was excellent for her condition and a good start for her recovery.

She held on the chair's arms and stood up with a deep sigh, carefully shuffling towards the door.

"She's ready to go too!" Brittany laughed as Sophia moved her legs in her hold.

"I bet she's making fun of me with her perfect little energetic legs," Santana kidded with her HBIC tone, taking her time with every step which made Gloria and Brittany laugh even more.

Brittany exited the room, followed by the very slow Santana, and Gloria closed the door behind them, holding the last bag. They said goodbye to the nurses who had taken care of them in the corridor and Gloria enquired on Jorge's whereabouts; 'busy with an emergency' the nurses relayed apologetically. Since the delivery, it was actually the first time Santana had to walk that long to get anywhere and her slowness really annoyed her. Brittany and Gloria tried to ease her with jokes and future plans for once they got home.

"Santana, do you want to take the stairs?" Gloria said lazily while they were all waiting for the elevator of their building.

"Good one, Mom... You just won a babysitting night when she'll get chicken pox. Way to go Abuela!" She barely hit her mother's shoulder with her closed fist teasingly.

"Congratulatioooons!" Brittany sang, as the elevator doors flew open.

When they entered the apartment everything was as Santana remembered. There were three empty mugs on the coffee table and her shawl messed up on the couch. Brittany had barely come back while she was away. She used to just pop in, take a fresh change of clothes, hop in the shower and almost immediately leave. She hated leaving Santana alone. She had slept on the hospital room chair so of course she had missed her bed like hell, but in the grand scheme of things she couldn't have cared less. Santana smiled tenderly, picturing Brittany rushing to get to her side.

"Okay girls, I better be going! Do you need anything else?"

"We'll be fine, Gloria, thank you." Brittany said with a grateful smile, still holding Sophia with one arm and trying to take off her coat.

"Thanks Mom, I'll call you later, promise." She went to take Sophia from her wife so Brittany could get rid of her clothes more easily.

"That'd be nice. Don't forget, your father will come tomorrow to check on you, right?" Gloria said, hand on the door handle.

"Yes, Mom!" Santana insisted, as if Gloria had asked that question a thousand times before. She probably had.

"Okay, I'm out now! Bye girls!" The door slammed. Sophia jolted slightly.

"God, you can get knocked up yourself but you're still a child to your parents..."

"Wait for _my_ Mom at Christmas." Brittany winked at Santana with a challenging look.

They were glad to be finally home together. They spent the rest of the day setting what was left to do and rearranging things around the house to make it more practical. They started to create a new routine made up of diapers, laughs and tender smiles interrupted by cries.

After diner, Santana took a very long shower, leaving Brittany alone with their baby. Afterwards, she went into the bedroom and changed into her loose pyjamas, the ones she had worn before her pregnancy. It was a little tight but Santana was just so happy to be able to wear them again. With a towel on her shoulders to dry her wet hair, she entered the corridor.

"Britt?" The apartment was completely silent.

She peeked into Sophia's room just in front on theirs but no one could be found. She toweled her hair as she made her way to the living-room. The apartment was dark and eerily quiet- she must have stayed an abnormally long time in the shower.

"Britt?" No one in the kitchen either.

Only the one lamp, the one close to the couch, added some light in the otherwise somber living-room. Brittany was sleeping, laying on the couch with her head resting on the arm, and Sophia was dead-asleep on her chest, held tight by her mom's protective hands.

At this very particular moment Santana knew she had made the right decision those few years ago. She felt a lump in her throat because all her dreams had come true. Back in high school she had wanted to shine, and she had lived this dream utterly. She had enjoyed the fame until she remembered that she couldn't have done it without Brittany's love and support. Her label was successful and her teenage dream had changed a bit - it was a little more mature than the golden promise of a singing career - but it was still so great and challenging. She was so glad her life was almost back to full confidentiality. When she had married Brittany, people had been happy for them - _were _happy for them. However, the fans insanity over her private life had started to decline. Perhaps they had found some other bright young star to harass? No matter, Santana wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Now, all she had was perfect. Before her, her beloved wife was sleeping peacefully with their more than yearned for baby. Their intimate happiness was safe, the future she pictured for them was wonderful. She wanted to take a picture of this amazing moment, Sophia's first night at home in her mom's embrace. It was the sweetest thing she had ever seen; but try as she may she couldn't step away. She would keep this image for her, for her own memories. She carefully sat at the other end of the large couch, in the very small space left between Brittany's feet and the couch arm. She watched them, Sophia slightly shifting in her sleep, and Brittany enjoying a well-deserved rest. This had been so intense for her too. She'd had to deal with so many things alone. All the organization, the paperwork, keeping everyone updated... She'd aced all of it. Whenever Santana woke up she was there. To help her walk, she was there. She could have never imagined her love for Brittany could grow any bigger.

Santana stretched Brittany's feet to make them rest on her thighs. She started to massage them, stroke them, which tenderly brought Brittany out of her sleep with a dozy smile.

"You don't have to," Brittany whispered so as not to wake up Sophia.

"I want to take care of you right now..." she whispered back.

Brittany's altruism would have complained but it just felt too good. Santana kept on rubbing and together they shared loving looks that spoke of all the gratitude they felt for each other.

"Let's put her in bed?" Brittany suggested.

"Yeah..." Santana let Brittany take her feet back and gently, so as not to disturb the baby, got up. She followed her to Sophia's room, entering first so she could turn a light on. She rushed to uncover the little bed from the comforter they'd set earlier. Brittany cuddled Sophia a little longer, acutely aware of the fact that it was actually hard to put her down.

"First night at home huh?" Brittany said to let the embrace last even longer. Santana tiptoed towards them to place a kiss on Sophia's forehead and stroked her so very small back.

"Good night..." She whispered happily.

Brittany made up her mind to finally put the baby in bed once she had kissed her too. In the white sheets, Sophia's skin seemed much lighter than Santana's and they knew her eyes were maybe a dark blue or green, though her very few hairs were plain black. And anyway, she was way too young for them to make assumptions on whether or not her features looked like Santana's.

Brittany set the cover under her daughter's tiny fists, making sure she wouldn't be cold. Santana snuggled into Brittany's arms for awhile as they gazed into the cot.

"Sweet dreams, little baby." Brittany pouted. It really was hard to leave her.

"Come on honey, she'll be here tomorrow..." Brittany sighed but relented. She turned off the little lamp and they left, making sure to leave the door slightly ajar.

...

On Christmas day, the Pierce's asked the Lopez family to come celebrate at their house. Santana had just come home a few days ago, so it was the first time Sophia had been left out for something other than a doctors appointment. Brittany unlocked the baby car seat with the sleeping baby in it and Santana hiked Sophia's bag over her shoulder.

"Told you she'd love a ride," Brittany teased.

As parents there was always a new discovery to be made. Everything was down to experiment and Brittany loved it. They had to find tricks and also figure out what their daughter liked but unfortunately, most of the time, they discovered what Sophia _didn't_ like.

"Yes Houdini, your tricks are wonderful." Santana laughed as she slowly started to walk towards the house. Brittany closed the car door with her hip so she didn't have to put the seat on the ground.

"I did hear you guys comin'!" Julie sang, rushing out of the house. She hugged Santana who was the closest, and ran to Brittany. "Hi Sophi -... Oh she's sleeping!" She started to say, ending in a loud stage whisper.

"Hello, Mom! Yes, we got a car ride aficionado over here." Brittany said winking at Santana.

"Don't stay here in the cold! Come on, come inside!"

The Pierce had decorated the entirety of their house, inside _and _out. Christmas was Julie's favorite holiday and Brittany recalled past childhood memories with a fond smile as she took in the garden.

"Gloria called. She's coming on her own, your dad is stuck at the hospital for a while! Ahhh I'm so glad! this is going to be amazing!" Julie's happiness was pleasant to be a part of, it was beyond contagious. Brittany guessed her mom had put all her heart in Sophia's first Christmas. She had this little something in her eye. Like a twinkle only a grandmother could produce.

They went to the living-room where Julie had set out appetizers, empty glasses, and a few bottles of champagne and fruit juices.

"Where are the others?" Brittany asked, taking her coat off while Santana freed Sophia from the seat and sat on the couch holding her.

"Chloe's at Damian's, again... she'll be back soon. And your dad's in the garden! So girls, how is it going?" Julie bent over Santana to see the baby more closely.

"Good! She's an angel..." Santana smiled widely.

"Almost!" Brittany cut in jokingly. "I'm gonna say hi to Dad, I'll be right back!" Brittany tiptoed out to the garden as if she were dancing, so content to be back in her childhood home.

"She's just too cute! Look at her!" Sophia was curled in her light pink warm baby clothes. Santana loosened her daughter's little scarf so Julie could see her better. "Too, _too _cute! Did she eat?"

"Yes, she's full so we're free to eat like pigs without any crying for a while!" Santana made Julie chuckle.

"I'm gonna make you eat so much you'll feel like you're pregnant again, Santana!"

"Please don't!" They both laughed.

Chloe finally arrived, and she didn't forget to show her hickey-free neck to Santana with a chuckle. Brittany came back soon after with her dad who was carrying wood to put in the chimney. Gloria arrived too in a rush, apologizing for Jorge not being able to come up sooner than a few hours.

The parents soon found themselves telling little stories of their daughters' first Christmases. Brittany blushed when Andrew pointed out that baby Brittany would rather have gift wrappings to play with than the actual gifts and that they could never find a gift she'd like until she was able to ask Santa something by herself. Baby Santana spent her sixth Christmas pouting because the doll she got had been a Wedding Day Barbie which apparently had been neither pink nor glittery enough.

Jorge couldn't make it for the dinner in the end so they ate without the head of the Lopez household, mindful to keep some food leftover for when he did eventually arrive. Before Julie served the dessert, Sophia woke up and requested to be fed too. Santana withdrew to another room with her so she could eat calmly. Once they were finished, Santana met Brittany, who had obviously come out to find her, in the corridor looking a little pale.

"San … Santana, you should come." Brittany muttered.

"You alright ? You seem a little sick, honey?" Santana frowned.

"Come." She instructed without any further details. They walked inside the dining room without a word.

"Seriously Britt, tell me what's wrong, you're worrying me..." But Brittany didn't answer as she lead them on.

When they entered the room, Jorge was there standing with his coat on.

"Dad! Finally!"

"Santana, I brought you a ... Christmas present." he said tentatively and moved a few steps to the side.

Behind him, Santana's grandmother was seated on the closest chair around the dining table. Santana hadn't seen her since she had been kicked out of her kitchen all those years ago. Her hair was now grey and her features were marked with worry. With oldness.

Good thing she was holding Sophia, and good thing she wasn't crying; it took a lot for Santana to hold her own tears back, her daughter giving her some strength to put herself together. Santana had tried to talk to her grandmother so many times, and failed at each and ever attempt. Even when her life spiralled and was written about in the papers her grandmother hadn't reached out to her. With time, Brittany's love and pushing those thoughts away had filled the hole in her heart. She had never been angry, she understood the situation must have been hard for her grandmother to reconcile with, but Santana was so disappointed the woman who had raised her seemed not to care about her anymore. That she didn't even give her a chance to explain. Her only hope left was that the years and her grandmother's age could make her reconsider her choices and for that, Santana would just have to wait. There was nothing else she could do.

"Santana..." Alma, her grandmother said softly, with the strong Puertorican accent Santana had missed so much. She got up and reached out to Santana whose feet seemed glued to the floor. She studied her, looking for the changes on her granddaughter's face. "_Lo siento..._" She whispered just for Santana. "I still don't understand. But I'm willing to try."

Santana was speechless, and she held the small tears on the corners of her eyes. This was all she had ever wanted to hear, a step closer to her. Her grandmother looked at Sophia.

"_Abuelita..._" Santana said, as a "thank you".

"Babies, they are... _familia_!" She smiled, and gestured with her hands, a very Latin motion that made Santana choke up. Neither Alma or Santana knew what to say. It was just too much to take, on both sides. "She looks just like her mom." She raised her hand and stroked Santana's cheek, like she used to do when Santana was a child.

"Moms." Santana insisted on the plural, frowning. She was glad of her grandmother's efforts but Brittany and she were a family now -_a package deal_- and she wouldn't ever allow her grandmother to forget that. Not even for a kind reunion. Brittany, who was standing close to Santana, held her breath. She knew it would break Santana if her grandmother's return was an illusion or a failed attempt yet again. The old lady peeked at Brittany, hesitant and almost demure.

"Moms." She agreed with a shy smile, which freed Santana's tears and Brittany's breath.

"Santana, are you happy?" Alma asked, looking into the deep of Santana's eyes.

"I couldn't be more. I have all I ever wished for." She answered with a tender smile as she glanced at Brittany by her side. "_She_ is making me happy. _They _are _my_ family now." Santana softly held her daughter higher to show Alma.

"Brittany, is she making you happy?" She turned to the blonde. Brittany hadn't expected Alma to talk to her actually, and was really surprised she had included her in their very special reunion.

"Very much so, ma'am." She knew it wasn't a very wise thing to do but she couldn't help herself, and put her arm on Santana shoulders, protectively. "Very much..."

Alma seemed to inwardly debate which words to use.

"_Tu esposa es hermosa_, Santana, you chose well." Santana smiled from ear to ear. She guessed how of a big effort it must have been for Alma to admit that. She really _was _willing to try.

"Indeed. She's very kind to me. And she's a good mom."

"I'd be happy to see that... If you want me to?" Alma said as she put a hand on Santana's as her other asked for Brittany's. Brittany was altogether really relieved Alma had included her. Since she'd arrived, she feared Alma might need to catch up with Santana before she could even consider them as a family. All Gloria and Jorge talked about to Alma for years was how good Brittany was for Santana and this perseverance seemed to have finally paid off. It now looked as though she considered her as Santana's equal and the notion when directly to Brittany's heart. Santana looked at Brittany, waiting for her agreement, which she gave with a tender nod.

"Of course, _Abuelita_. Of course..."

Santana hugged her abuelita, sharing "Thank you's" and "I missed you", drying her tears with sweet emotions. Jorge hugged Gloria, blessed to finally see his whole family together after all these years. Brittany walked to Julie, who was with the others watching the scene from the other side of the room, sharing soft words and happy smiles.

"Did you know about this?" Brittany whispered into her mom's ear.

"Yeah, Gloria called me earlier, and said that she wanted to see her again. She asked me if Jorge could bring her and of course I agreed. Christmas spirit, sweetie! So he drove all the way back to Lima to get her after his shift. That was our little secret!" She whispered back. Christmas was definitely Julie's favorite celebration and today it was more apparent than ever.

"_Abuelita_, let's eat dessert!" The invitation was Santana's subtle welcome back into her life.

They all sat back around the table, Andrew rushing to add another chair, Chloe another plate, and Brittany leaving her seat to Alma so she could talk to Santana and catch up. They had so much to talk about, like how they would work their differences out, but for that night, Santana didn't initiate. Alma didn't mention any dad either and kept all her burning questions for another day.

For such a long time, Santana had felt her family was broken. The fact that Brittany's had always welcomed her so cheerfully made her happy, and softened the pain of missing her grandmother. Jorge and Gloria tried valiantly for years, but Alma was stuck to her ideas. However, when Sophia was born, Gloria and Jorge were so happy they had wanted to share the news with her, whether she liked it or not. On the other hand, she'd known Santana had been pregnant and during the course of those short months her mind had slowly started to change. She'd always pictured it as a "lifestyle", some kind of a debauchery. But seeing Jorge and Gloria that happy made her question herself. What if it was a "sane" lifestyle? Not that she could understand, but maybe there was something she had missed. They never talked about it, she just kept seeing and hearing Gloria enjoying her grandmother-to-be glow, and Jorge remembering how his unfortunately late father used to be with Santana. She witnessed it all for months, before Gloria called her shrilly to share the joy of Santana's delivery.

It popped in her mind like a flash; she would be alone. Her husband was in heaven and her children were enjoying a life without her. She'd thought kicking Santana out had been the right thing to do but it appeared that now, she was the one left behind. When she'd hung up the phone she had looked at her empty kitchen. There were no children laughing or grown-ups discussions. The fridge was free from all the pictures she'd taken off years ago, and there was nothing replace them with. She had been left with her memories. She'd tried to picture how her last years would be and all she could see herself facing was emptiness. She couldn't create new souvenirs on her own … it would just be her and her empty kitchen. God would never do that to such a strong believer. She was missing something so she decided she would try. At least _try_.

Finishing the dessert, Alma told a few stories about Santana's childhood.

"And your favorite lullaby, do you remember?" Alma told Santana, all smiles and low soothing tones.

"_Linda manita_! You made us sing it a thousand times!" Gloria laughed.

"I don't remember that!" Santana exclaimed.

"What is it?" Andrew asked, very curious as Chloe and Julie leaned forward in their seats.

"It's a Puertorican traditional baby song we usually sing. But Santana was... _obsessed _with it! We had to sing it every single night!" Jorge answered.

"Can you sing it for us?" Brittany blissfully requested. This dinner was just so perfect and the conversation with Alma was really moving.

"Oy... It's been a long time!" Alma raised a hand in front of Sophia's face in Santana's arms. Even if she couldn't really see her, Alma did it. "It goes like this... _La linda manita_..." She slowly made her hand twirl back and forth. "_Que tiene el bebe_..." It was really beautiful to see, the older generation interacting with the newborn Sophia. Everyone listened to her very attentively. "_Que linda, que bella... Que preciosa es_... And then you go with the other hand, until she falls asleep !" Alma repeated the song and the motion with her other hand one more time.

"That's really beautiful. You should sing it to her, San." Brittany smiled.

"I will, actually... I really didn't remember it."

"You'll have to learn it too!" Alma suggested, inclining her head towards Brittany and moving her hand in the air to teach her the motion.

"Oh no, I'll leave that to Santana, my Spanish is terrible..." She chuckled.

"If she loves it as much as you did, you _all_ will have to catch up with Spanish, gringos!" Jorge said taking a sip of his glass of wine as everyone laughed.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback : Few hours later.<strong>_

"What do you mean, Brittany's here?" Jorge had just comeback from work alone, and Gloria tried to explain.

"Shhhh! Keep it down!" she whispered with some kind of quiet energy, hurriedly shaking her ponted finger towards the bedroom door. "Brittany's been here for hours. I don't know what's happening! I can't hear through the door!" She tried to speak as low as she could with all her rushing emotions.

"How was she?"

"I don't know!... She just rushed in, she pushed me and-.."

"She pushed you?"

"No! She... I mean, she just ran in like a tornado!"

"And you couldn't hear anything...?" Jorge was astounded.

"I believe I heard someone yell something. Don't know what, but nothing after that. It was like hours ago..."

"Okay. Do we go in?"

"Should we...?" Gloria bit her lip hesitantly.

"I don't know..." Jorge paced up and down. "I don't know.."

...

On the other side of the door Brittany and Santana cuddled and fell asleep, soothed and tranquil for the first time in weeks. Without a word, in each other's embrace they cuddled, caressed and kissed each other until Santana nodded off against Brittany's neck which gave Brittany permission to let herself go too.

Santana woke up in a start. She was too warm between her fiancée's arms and her tight gown. She would have liked to change into fresh clothes but there was no way she would leave Brittany, not even for a second. She zipped her dress open and sighed as some air refreshed her sweating back. Feeling her move, Brittany woke up too. She pushed for Santana to lay on her back, watching her tenderly. With a light fingertip she followed the dark circles under her eyes, her prominent cheek bones … all the marks their break-up had drawn on her face. She sighed, feeling guilty.

"_What do you mean, Brittany's here?"_

"_Shhhh! Keep it dow-"_

"I'll be in a lot of trouble," Brittany whispered, hearing Jorge's loud surprise. "We should go talk to them."

Santana groaned. She didn't want this moment to end. She wanted to stay here, in her arms, forever. She didn't want it to end at all, especially not to go... _talking_. Brushing the thought away, she tightened her embrace.

"_Okay. Do we go in?"_

"We should really go,_ love_." Brittany had called her that thousand time but it suddenly had such a stronger meaning. Santana sighed. She made her ring, this huge diamond, roll on the inside of her hand, the loose fit on her thinner finger making it easy. She knew that now that Brittany had come back it would perfectly fit very soon. She locked her hand with Brittany's. She didn't want her parents to see the ring but neither did she want to take it off. She started to zip her dress closed, but Brittany beat her to it, kissing her on the shoulder. They began to make their way out of the room, hesitance written across both of their faces. Santana just didn't want to go; she held their hands against her hip, trying to hide them in the material of her dress, and she hooked Brittany's arm with her other hand. She buried her face against Brittany's shoulders when she saw her parents worrying at the entrance of the corridor, just a few meters away.

"Brittany, you have to explain yourself." Jorge threatened.

"I know. I..." She peeked at Santana, looking at her feet and snuggling against her shoulder. "I got confused."

"You got _confused_? That's your explanation for the _hell _you put us through? You put_ her_ through?" Gloria snorted.

"I've made my amends to Santana, as large as my mistake was, and I beg your forgiveness too. I'm really, deeply sorry. We'll work things out. I promised not to fail her again and not to disappoint _you_."

Santana's parents just stared at her in disbelief. They'd known her since she was a little girl, and they never expected her to walk out on Santana. It had been a bad, an ugly, surprise, when they eventually understood why Santana had remained stonily silent, discovering the empty closets in their bedroom. However, they didn't know what had happened at all and whether Santana was speechless out of guilt or sadness. They finally had something to hold on to: that was Brittany's fault.

"So, that was_ you_." Gloria nearly lost it. "What did you do, Brittany? What the hell did you do?"

"As I said, I got confused." She tried to keep her calm. "I just... It's between Santana and me."

"Santana?" Jorge bent his head to catch his daughter's eyes. "Can you talk to us?"

Brittany looked at Santana too. She had talked to her earlier … why wouldn't she talk now? She couldn't have predicted that the tabloids had been right all along … she'd know that Santana had been depressed - from what she had seen on TV. But never in her wildest dreams would she have dreamed up this reticent and mute creature as Santana Lopez. And anyway, Santana had spoken to her almost immediately. Brittany didn't get it, she really didn't.

"Santana?" She whispered too, suddenly very worried. Santana kept on snuggling against her arm and shoulder. "You talked to me..."

"She _what_? Okay, that's just wonderful." Gloria raged, "You can talk to her, but not to _us_? We're your parents, Santana! _Tu madre_! Why?"

Santana didn't know how to break free of her silence. With Brittany, it all seemed to flow, but with them, she was still stuck. She was grateful for her parents' dedication, she really was. However in this particular moment, she only wanted to be left alone with Brittany.

She looked up at Brittany who gave her the most tender smile. It gave her just enough strength to shape her mouth as if she was about to speak. Lost in the blue of her eyes, she finally spoke.

"I'll be fine," she let out in a whisper. She held Brittany's hand tighter, the ring almost ripping her skin.

"_Dios mio!_ You scared us so bad!" Gloria's arms fell like in prayer. "Why did you do that, mija?" Santana didn't answer.

"Leave her alone. We'll talk some other time. I guess you two want to be together to... You know..." Santana smiled at her father. He was a distant man, but mainly out of respect. Santana was relieved her father understood so quickly.

"But I can't leave her like tha-"

"We leave, Gloria." Resolved to her husband's order, she took her coat and purse at the entrance.

"We'll have some serious talk, both of you!" She furiously acknowledged them as Jorge pushed her out of the front door. They were out for good.

Brittany knew Santana wouldn't drop her hold.

"Catch my neck," Brittany softly said with a smile.

Santana reacted without thinking and when Brittany slid a strong arm under her hips, she understood that she wanted to carry her. Santana felt like a feather, carried to the bedroom. She just smelled Brittany's hair, soft and warm skin, everything she had missed so much.

"Let's get you out of this huge dress."

She laid her on the bed.

"I can go away while you change, I'd understand..."

Santana didn't let her go. She caught her back by the neck, and made her top her. She opened her dress and led one of Brittany's hand on her skin.

"Touch me."

She needed to feel her in every way. Under her fingertips, Brittany felt hard ribs. Santana had always had her little curves but they seemed gone now. She tried to get some courage, and lifted her back to help the dress slide. Santana then lifted Brittany's hoodie and met the same ribs, the hard skin stretching over the bones. Without sharing, they both thought they were wasting away without each other.

"I love you." Brittany whispered as she kissed her neck.

"Tell me again."

"I love you." She kissed the crook of her breast.

"I love you." Her collarbone. Santana crossed her legs around Brittany's hips.

"I love you" Right under her ear.

"I love you. I wanna marry you, give you lady babies..." The corner of her lips.

"I'm lame like that." It made Santana laugh. She hadn't laughed in months and the action felt so strange. Everything seemed to slide back into place. Ten years after McKinley, this is where they were supposed to be.

"Me too." She raised her lips, and stole a kiss, searing it with promise and all her heart.

* * *

><p>Thanks for all your nice reviews! They really keep me motivated, please send more! I love to hear from you, just don't be shy and go ahead, send send send :)<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

_**Flashback : Few days after Brittany's come back. **_

"Stay, please stay..." Santana tried to stop Brittany from getting out of bed, cuddling her back.

"Honey, I really have to go!"

Brittany had cancelled and postponed all she could so she could stay with Santana, just them alone in their apartment. They hadn't left home, ordering their food in. They had spent time rediscovering tenderness, learning how to care all over again. Even if they really wanted to stay in their bubble, they had to go back to real life. A few days after they had reunited, she didn't have any other choice than going back to work.

"Let's compromise.. you wanna come? It's just a meeting with Artie and some others guys... But I really have to go or they'll cut me."

Santana sighed and made a sour face when she mentioned Artie, and shook her head no. Brittany suddenly pulled her down on the messy cushions and left a trail of kisses from her shoulder to neck.

"What about... we both get some fresh air tonight? You get ready, I'll call you when my meeting's finished and we can go out?"

"Like outside?"

"Outside, with people around." Brittany challenged with a tender smile. Santana bit her lips, wondering. "And no napkin!" Brittany chuckled, as she tickled Santana.

"Okay! Okay! I give up!" She breathed into Brittany's neck. "Outside without a napkin, okay." She grinned from ear to ear.

"Okay then." With a smile, Brittany got up, and let the sheets fall off her bare skin. Santana watched her tiptoe into the bathroom, and listened as she turned the water on. Finally ready to leave, she kissed Santana goodbye.

"I'll call you around seven, love."

"But I don't know where my cellphone is." She remembered. She hadn't used it for so long, she just didn't know where the hell it might be.

"There's one in the kitchen, remember?" She cuddled her a little longer.

"Right!" Brittany gently placed a kiss on Santana.

Santana followed Brittany into the corridor, still curled up in the sheet, stealing the last kisses until she left. She didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't feel at home without Brittany, she just didn't know how to fill this whole afternoon on her own.

...

When it was seven on the kitchen clock, Santana sat holding the phone. She chose a short casual blue dress, which highlighted her natural skin tone. Brittany loved when she was wearing bright colors. She wondered for a long time how she should do her hair, and opted for loose curls. It hid her face a bit, it was perfect. It felt so weird, to recreate a routine after all that had happened. It felt shallow to choose a dress and do her makeup. She did it only because Brittany asked her to, she didn't see the point otherwise.

The phone rang, she picked it up.

"_Open the door honey._" Brittany said instead of indicating when she was supposed to arrive, as planned. Santana rushed to the door. Brittany was standing behind it. She obviously had gone to her parents' house and changed into a light long skirt which nicely covered her ankles and high heels, a small flowers printed top, a light blue jacket and a white beanie covering her ears. It was so Brittany, so fresh, soft and colorful.

"You're beautiful, San." She had in her hand a matching blue flower she cut from her parents' garden, "I knew you'd wear that one. It's my favorite."

Santana felt like a teenage girl again. Brittany hadn't change in years, she still was so adorable, she still liked the tiniest pretty things, those details that made all the difference. Santana believed for a second that Brittany was picking her up to go to Breadstix, she felt the same twittering heartbeat she had back then.

Brittany brushed Santana's cheek once as she settled the flower in her black hair. Santana felt her heart completely melt.

"Are your shoes comfortable?" Brittany asked with a smirked.

"Yeah, why? Where are we going?" She inquired, Brittany playfully shrugged.

"You ready?" Santana nodded, all smiles and grabbed the keys off the door back.

They made their way towards the building entrance. They checked if there were paparazzi out of habit, and walked far from each other until they reached the car. Old habits die hard. Usually, they always walked separately, never held hands in public. It was just not to rock the boat, they wanted to be left in peace and avoid the questions, the curious looks, and most importantly, the pictures. That was a choice they made years ago, when Santana's celebrity started to grow; they decided to be discreet, not necessarily secret, but very discreet. People in the business respected their choice, nothing came up until the rumor surfaced about Puck being Santana's gay beard. They acted like that for so long they stopped thinking about it, they just did it naturally.

Brittany brought them to quite a discreet Mexican homelike restaurant. She had booked a table for two as soon as she left in the morning, requesting the most private table in the restaurant.

"How do you know this place and I don't?" Santana was mesmerized.

The restaurant was pretty big, but all the tables were taken, that was a good sign of quality. People were almost all Latinos, mainly families, and the air was filled with exotic spices. Here, Santana might have been Queen Elizabeth; they just didn't care at all. The owners, a Mexican family, had set the place up like a home. There were big plants everywhere; the walls were painted in warm yellows and reds. They painted one wall with people dancing on it, and hats flying around them. It felt just like home, all those colors and smiles warming hearts. Santana remembered when her family set the house for her Quinceanera; it felt just the same. Brittany chose this place because Santana needed to be reassured, and what could be better for that than childhood memories?

During the week they spent alone together, Brittany understood Santana was avoiding everyone but her. Her parents, Patrick, even the delivery guy scared her off. She was just so scared. Seeing them would have meant talking, and somehow, the fact they locked themselves in for an entire week wasn't helping at all. Brittany figured this night, the first of many, would be great for her. Hearing people talk Spanish, good food, these were things unlocking Santana's heart, it was sweet emotion.

A young guy, probably one of the owners' sons, led them to their table, at the very end of the restaurant, behind some sort of a stage filled with instruments with no one playing. The man pulled a plant, so tall it almost reached the ceiling, closer to their table. They looked at him curiously.

"You asked for private, _no_?" The man said shrugging.

"That's perfect, thank you!" Brittany grinned, taking her beanie off and ruffling her hair. This place was perfect indeed.

"I love hiding in the bushes." She joked once the guy left with their order.

"Which ones?" Santana played footsie. She was teasing, Brittany's plan seemed to be working just fine.

The guy brought them back their plates, small samples of everything they had on the menu. They ate with their fingers and Santana made everything an excuse to play.

"No way you take the last quesadilla!" Santana almost yelled, clenching Brittany's hand against the table.

"Hurry up, _chicas!_" The owner passed by, and tapped on their table. "Clean your plates, I need to push your table!" He left quickly, and started to push the free tables away from the center of the restaurant.

"Push for what?" Santana was beyond surprised. What Brittany had planned for them, she couldn't guess. Santana only had eyes for her lover, she didn't realize most of people were done with their diner, and were now wandering around the restaurant's bar, laughing noisily.

"For dancing!" Brittany sang, dipping the last nacho in guacamole. She got up, and Santana hurried just the same. She called the owner, and he came back with a bottle of tequila, two shot glasses. He piled the plates with one hand, and put the bottle down.

"So, rookies, rule Double-D: Dance or drink." His words were harsh, he didn't bother with subtleties on the outside, but he had some hidden kindness, a shy teddy bear deep inside. He filled the shots with tequila. "Which one do you choose?"

"Both!" Santana pranced. She made the owner smile. He gestured for them to continue, then turned around to help the newly arrived band setup the instruments. The band finished setting up and began to play. The Salsa beat ran through both Santana and Brittany's veins.

"Come on!" Brittany offered a shot, "To my wonderful fiancée!" Santana shyly clinked glasses.

"To _my_ amazing fiancée." She whispered back. They drank them straight, and Brittany pulled Santana into the middle of a group of dancing people.

Brittany had a hard time remembering the last time they went out like this for fun. Their time at home was always about cocooning, since they barely saw others. They were still so young but their life had nothing young about it anymore; meetings, tours, shootings, recordings. The routine had turned into getting back together to leave each other soon after. Where all the fun has gone? Brittany wondered. Where was the passion, when their careers and distance constantly shattered it all?

They danced for few songs, not too close though, habits... They drank shots again. The rhythm increased, and the restaurant felt warmer than before. The Latin music filled their hearts, and their steps became stronger and wilder.

People around, all lost in the good music, let it go. Brittany glanced at them, nobody was looking. She kissed her on the lower cheek, pretending a rough dance move, and made her twirl like a feather in the hot wind of Mexico. Brittany was a master at hiding loving attentions.

Santana realized the space between their fluttering bodies. This safe distance hadn't any reason to be, actually. It felt like a barrier. Safety was nice in theory, but it led them to an insipid life of encounters. Encounters were supposed to be romantic, galvanic; it became a normal and basic thing. What was left to live out of this? Actually, the lightness of the moment, Brittany's laugh, the dazzling noise in her ears, inspired Santana. They crashed, that was what their break-up did to them. But after all, they would have never been able to assume what their relationship missed without crashing, they could never have realized that all the magic was gone. Anyhow, if Brittany had never left, they would have probably let their life turn into a kingdom of dullness. They needed a crash to grow up. It was hard to admit, but they needed it.

Santana reduced the space between them to nothing when her twirl ended. Brittany didn't catch her, though. Feeling Brittany's habits still strong, she kissed her, passion burning her lips.

"People have eyes, San" Brittany was torn. This kiss felt so good, but she really didn't want to get in any kind of trouble.

"Guess what, I don't give a fuck." She granted Brittany a mischievous smile.

"Oh really?" She gave her an elvish look back. Surprise crossed her mind, she definitely didn't expect Santana to let go so soon, and do it even deeper than Brittany herself would.

"Not a single one..." She made her twirl again, and caught her in a tight embrace from behind.

"You don't have to tell me twice." She whispered in her ear. She made them rock sensually, going along with the softer notes of the song ending.

It was late, all the families with children had gone, new lovers arrived, only pairs were on the impromptu dance-floor, men opening their shirts, and women whose hair ends got wetter by the pleasant sweat of dancing. Santana glanced at the singer, a handsome guy singing like he needed air. He saw the passionate kiss, he was the only one who did actually. He winked at Santana while enjoying a few seconds rest before starting another song. He turned around to give some indication to the players behind, and he gave Santana a look of complicity.

The drums increased all of a sudden, deep and warm. It wasn't Salsa anymore, the singer asked for something more intense, something that would drive peoples minds to their wildest steps. The owner made his way through the dancing crowd keeping his tray still, full of tequila shots and lemon quarters. Passing by the thrilled lovers, he offered his tray.

"DRINK!" His voice barely rose above the noise around them. They did as they were told, Brittany gave Santana a quarter of lemon, and tequila ran down their burning throats.

"_La pasíon necesita gasolina para arder. ¡Uno más !_" She took two more shots from the tray and clinked them against the tray's edge with a large grin cutting her face in two. Obviously, their eyes couldn't lie anymore, they loved each other, and everybody knew it.

"_¡Salud!_" Santana yelled.

They drank again, and the satisfied owner left towards another couple full of lust. His sentence only fueled her thoughts more, and somehow, she knew she could trust the man. She felt safe here. Santana stared at Brittany's lips, before she crashed hers against them, throwing her arms around her neck, and deepening the kiss again and again. Santana wanted this moment to last forever. The tequila on Brittany's lips felt hot and cold at the same time, rapturous beats shaking her heart.

This place was on fire tonight. After taking a last shot, they decided to head home, laughing as they went.

Brittany walked lazily towards the car as if she were avoiding shadows.

"What the hell are you doing?" Santana laughed.

"I'm trying to avoid the leprechauns!" She lightly stepped on the ground trying to reach the car parked close to the restaurant.

"_What?_ Those Dutch, they can't hold their tequila..." She whispered to herself, sweetly chuckling.

"Did you know cacti are immigrant Leprechauns?" Reaching the car door, Brittany looked for the keys in her purse. "Well, it's them that find Tequila too strong! They puff out and _BOOM_! Cactus stuck on Mexican ground!" Motioning with her, hands, she almost dropped the keys.

"What about Mariachi then?"

"Sheep! Have you seen their moustaches, seriously! Pretty sure it's wool. And who wouldn't sing with a bottle of Tequila down their gullet?" Brittany failed to open the door by the time Santana reached her.

"And you, what do you change into after a whole bottle, _amor_..." Santana whispered in her ear, trapping her against the door, hip to hip. The sudden closeness caused Brittany's cheeks to flush even more and her feet to get clumsier.

"All I could think of is..." Santana breathed cool air in her warm neck. "Naked women in the backseat." She licked her lips. "Doing illegal things." Santana slapped Brittany's butt. "Or things that _should_ be illegal." Brittany swallowed.

"_Besame_..." Santana parted her lips, and stood on her tiptoes, Brittany's heels were way too high. She grabbed the blonde's shirt to steady herself, and get higher.

"Where?" Brittany withdrew her head, teasing.

"Where it craves you."

A distant camera flash blinded their lust filled eyes, causing them to turn their heads and giggle. Santana put her head on her lover's shoulder, really falling about. Brittany reached backwards grabbing the handle as she laughed just as hard.

"Gimme the keys, I'll drive home."

She let the car keys drop into Santana's wide open hand. She curtsied to Santana, and let her go with a large grin. Brittany walked around, holding onto the car's hood, since she was, well... really drunk. A few more flashes made them blink; only pushing them to laugh harder.

Santana's short dress hitched up to her thighs as she was driving, and Brittany couldn't take her eyes off of them. Her fingertips went near the inside of Santana's thighs, afraid if she touched them, Santana would disappear, she was mesmerized. She finally slid her whole hand up her lover's thigh caressing as she went. She went a little too high; Santana clenched her thighs, trying to focus on the road.

Since her hand was clasped, Brittany gripped the warm skin, and pulled her hand out forcefully, her nails scratching. Santana clenched stronger. Why was their home so far away?

"Hmmm..." Santana moaned. "Home, home, home..." She kept repeating but the ride wouldn't go faster. Brittany made her mind go all dizzy.

Brittany slid her hand between the dress material and the top of Santana's thigh, her skin was too smooth to be real. She grabbed the headrest behind Santana so she could fully bend herself forward; she softly bit the caramel skin of Santana's graceful neck. She couldn't resist her sweet and soft perfume; it always inspired thoughts of sweet sunny mornings outside, fresh air, and pretty flowers. It was like a drug to Brittany. Santana dug her nails into the leather of the steering wheel. Brittany pulled out her hand, stroking first, and ending with a hard scratch.

"_Stop it!_ I'm driving!" Santana moaned.

"You better be careful then." Brittany licked her way up Santana's neck, and began sucking on her earlobe, Santana's favorite thing ever.

"Careful, she says..." She grumbled with a shaky voice, taking all of Brittany's ministrations while keeping her eyes on the road.

She would just rip Brittany's clothes off as soon as she got home. She wondered where she would make love to her. Bedroom? She could never make it through the whole apartment. Living-room? Close to the front door, comfortable enough. Though, the elevator was sexy, but it had cameras, damn! Brittany breathed out hot air without letting go of her ear. She grabbed her thigh harder, and tried to part them.

"Damn it Britt!"

She angrily looked for a very small street, so dark the inside of the car would remain dark when Santana would turn the engine off. She finally found the perfect dead-end, and she parked, turning all the lights off. She furiously took her jacket off and hitched her dress higher.

"What are you doing?" Brittany was startled out of her heavenly actions by Santana's quick gestures.

"Fuckin' you." She said with a desperately strong voice. "Up!" She ordered shaking her head at Brittany's skirt. She held the handbrake to help her sit astride Brittany's thigh. She felt the blonde wasn't quick enough, so she lifted the skirt up herself almost ripping it, and wasting no time, she slid her hand under.

"No panties?" She whispered guessing as she grazed the delicate skin under her touch as she moved closer to Brittany's core.

"Forgot'em..." Brittany answered, maliciously.

Santana lost it, her arousal exploded throughout her whole body. She bent to kiss and bite Brittany's lips. She asked for entrance with her tongue, and Brittany shivered at the motion. Without slowing the kiss, Santana rested her flat hand against Brittany's center, she parted with two fingers.

Santana wanted her to feel her love, burning and crashing what her mind was made of. She wanted her to feel inside how hard her happiness was sweeping over her. She stroked through her folds, and she slid two strong fingers in. Brittany gasped for air, as she withdrew and entered her again. With her other hand, she grabbed the back of the messy blonde hair, and pulled her closer to deepen the kiss even more. Almost pulling her hair in her tight hold, Brittany whimpered in pleasure. Santana set a fast and forceful rhythm that'd soon be the end of Brittany. It fueled Brittany's heart with lust and passion.

"I'm gonna come... gonna come..." Brittany's voice was so small and lost.

"No you're not." She wouldn't let her, not yet. She loved her so much more than that.

She let go of her hair, and reached the lever to lower the seat with her free hand. The jolt made Brittany's face contort even more. She urged with a reckless grasp Brittany's thigh to rest on the dashboard, her heel caught in the corner of the door. The leg tensed hard, Brittany pushing on it so she wouldn't fall from her perfect wide position. She realized her big engagement ring would come in the way of her sweet plan.

"Britt, your hand, up!" Brittany opened her eyes, distracted for a second.

She felt Santana pull her fingers completely out to her great displeasure. She saw Santana's ring finger disappear between her generous lips. She guessed her teeth slowly made the ring slid off. Santana looked straight into her eyes, as she caught the ring between her luscious lips. She slightly sucked on her finger, and freed it with a lazy pop. She quickly put the ring on one of Brittany's fingers. The distraction had been good enough to cool her pending orgasm, amazing enough to fill her ecstasy with frustration. Santana always did these small looks that drove her crazy, those highly sensual moves that just killed her every single time. Santana took the same rhythm back until she got her passion rekindled. She pushed a third finger in, her fierce look reading Brittany's feelings on her face.

"OH SHI-" Brittany lacked air for this wild thrust.

Her hand flew behind her, holding onto the headrest with all her strength. Santana rocked her more and more with her hand, with her thighs, increasing the speed, panting, moaning in her neck, her own wetness eased against her lover's skin. Brittany was thrilled by her initiatives; Santana never failed her about that, that night more than ever. Waves of ecstasy just rolled over her over and over again, she felt her body lost to Santana's desire. She trusted her, eyes closed, and it was the most beautiful feeling. Brittany tensed hard, so very close. Her whimpers turned into long and deep moans, pleading for release. She grabbed Santana's ass with both hands, the only thing she could hold onto without breaking the rhythm.

She needed to feel her warm skin. Santana locked her lips with hers, forcefully, and pushed her hand deeper and deeper, curling her fingers. It was too much for Brittany. She heard the heel ripping the dashboard, her leg shaking out of pleasure. Santana felt a wave of burning heat around her fingers, a cry of rapture surge in her mouth. She kissed her, her tongue dancing; she drank Brittany's orgasm from her trembling lips as she kept her hand still. Brittany needed to feel her closer, against her more than anything. She made her fall on her, pushing her higher on her lap, and rested her forehead on her collarbone. She brushed light kisses in the valley of Santana's breast. This is where her own heart rested.

Brittany thought she committed her life to this wonderful lover, whose rounded cheeks she was holding in her hands, and soft breast she felt under her lazy lips. A life of ecstasy, wasn't it wonderful?

...

"And youuuuurrr mind is _full of red!_" Chloe was in her room; she sang and danced wildly with her headphones on, as if Woodstock was applauding her. Seriously, who was Janis Joplin when she could be Chloe Fucking Pierce. "_DON'T YOU WANT SOMEBODY TO LOVE DOOON'T YOU NEE-_"

Andrew tapped her headphones; she didn't realize she wasn't alone in her room.

"Ouch!"

"Mercury, your phone has been buzzing for half an hour, answer it or I'm gonna throw you and your phone out the window." He gave her the phone with a sweet smile, tapped harder on her headphones, and rushed out with a Machiavellian laugh.

"_MY MUSIC GENIUS IS TOO POWERFUL FOR YOU! DEAL WITH IT!_"

She opened her phone, and saw pending texts and missed calls.

_- Pam : "omg ur sister !"_

_- Jake : "you guys know how to partayyyy"_

_- Pam : "OMG UR . SISTER. "_

_- Nina : "Answer yo phone ! I wantz details!"_

_- Emily : "Your sister knows Santana Lopez and you didn't tell me ? I'M SO MAD!"_

She dialed Nina. "What the fuck is happening!"

"_Seriously Chlo, I thought you'd never call! That's so... IRL OTP MAN" _

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"_It's all over the Internet! Damn, those pictures..."_ Chloe rushed to her desk, almost tripping over the edge of the bed, and turned her computer on.

"Where do I look? WHERE DO I LOOK NINA?"

"_Just sent you a link!" _She opened it, and a large picture of them almost kissing loaded, leaving no mystery about what was about to happen next considering the hungry looks, their creased clothes; a big headline on top, "Santana Lopez: Livin' la vida loca". She scrolled down. They were undoubtedly beautiful together on the second picture, Santana on her tiptoes, and Brittany smiling from ear to ear. Third picture, Santana entered the car laughing, as Brittany threw her jacket on the backseat.

"Holy Mother Of God!"

"_I know!_"

"Chloe, for God's sake, stop yelling!" Julie warned her from the corridor.

"MOM! Come! Brittany! She... Come!" She shouted back, shaking her pointing finger with all her energy at her screen. Julie came in, and peeked over Chloe's shoulder. "Nina, I'll call you back."

"_But I want deta-"_ Chloe hang up abruptly. All Brittany told her family a week ago was she was taking the time to work with Santana on their relationship, and she'd update them soon.

"What is that?" Julie was shattered, "What do they say?"

"I don't know, wait." Chloe scrolled down to read the article. She began to read out loud. "_'Santana Lopez spotted last night in a heated moment outside the restaurant' _bla bla bla... They say her Grammy performance was only marketing, and they don't know when Britt and Santana started to date. Bla bla bla, She kissed her in public!_'Customers said they looked so in love, and she was wearing a huge ring. Engagement ring?' _What the hell?"

"Zoom in on the picture!"

"Yeah she has a ring... but... Why are pictures always so blurry ?" They stared at the screen closer.

"I have to call her now." Julie took Chloe's phone but Chloe stopped her, she really wanted to talk to Brittany first.

"HEY! My phone, my rules!"

"Who pays for the phone?" Julie said forcefully. Chloe groaned and let her mom dial.

"_You've reached Lady Unicorn McDuck. I'm too busy bloop-bloopin' in the water, please leave a rainbow message."_

"_Brittany Susan Pierce_, this is your Mother, the one you haven't called in a week, and who is currently reading the news. She really wants to know what's going on!_ Call me_!"

_**End of the flashback**_

* * *

><p>Alma waited for Santana to arrive in their living-room.<p>

"You're sure you don't want something to drink, Alma?" Brittany asked, rocking Sophia on her shoulder.

"No, thank you." Alma barely looked at Brittany, sitting like a Lady on an armchair. "Do you know when she'll arrive?" She was kind of bitter.

"In a minute, she's on her way. The studio's really close." Sophia cried really hard, and Brittany had a hard time calming the few weeks old baby.

"You should hold her lower. She'd stop."

"She doesn't like it, but thank you." She said with a smile.

"You should try harder."

"She really doesn't like it; she's just tired because she didn't sleep last night. But thank you for the advice."

The fact was that Brittany was for the first time alone with Alma for more than five minutes. Even for five minutes, it seemed to be an awful effort. When Santana was around, everything was fine, but left alone, it was another story. Brittany wouldn't be as bitter as Alma. Having an argument wasn't good for Santana or Sophia, so she tried to keep it calm, and as nice as possible.

"Sorry I'm late!" Santana entered the hall right at the right time. "Sorry, sorry!" She took her coat and scarf off, and finally came in the living-room. "Carla had a huge problem to solve.. Anyways! Hi babe!" She gave Brittany a light kiss before going to Alma, who turned the head to avoid seeing the kiss. "Hi _Abuelita!_" She hugged her grandmother.

"San, could you try, she can't stop crying. Maybe you can get her to stop." She held Sophia in the exact same position that Brittany did, but after a few minutes, Sophia was crying just as hard.

"Santana, maybe you could try to hold her lower, you loved it back then." Alma said softly, and Brittany tried to hide her disappointment at her suggestion.

"Yeah we tried, but she hates that. She had a terrible night; I don't think anything could calm her actually..."

"I guess all babies are different, you know your Sophia better than me!" Alma answered, avoiding Brittany's gaze.

"Bet I know my baby!" Santana said with her baby voice, all smiles, as she kissed Sophia on her wet cheek.

"I'm gonna make some tea." Brittany ran out of the room, she needed air. In the kitchen, she took a minute to think about Alma's behavior. It wasn't fair; she had always been more than polite and understanding with Alma. She wasn't the one who was supposed to make all the effort. She made them regardless, she wanted Santana to be happy, and she really didn't want to be in the way of Alma. Since her family welcomed her for Christmas, Alma hasn't been disrespectful or anything. However, she tended to be more and more bitter with her as time went by. A few times, Santana heard things she immediately pointed out. She always stood up for her, she absolutely made no compromise. Brittany was the one compromising, by not telling her about the displeasing comments directed at her when the two women were left alone for a second. Today she had to wait for Santana to arrive for minutes that felt like ages, she had to put up with Alma's bad mood. She held onto Sophia to distract her from the idea of fighting with her. She really shouldn't fight, Alma and Santana's bond was too fragile to handle a fight at this point. It was just one of the nasty steps she and Santana had to go through together before Alma could fully understand. It wouldn't matter anymore when they would be over it. She just had to hold on.

The tea was ready, so she put the teapot and mugs on a tray.

"But what are you gonna do with her when you both start work again?" She heard Alma ask on her way to the living-room.

"We don't know yet if we can organize it between ourselves or if we will hire a nanny." Santana was still rocking Sophia, up in the middle of the living-room. Her sobs were quieting.

"She's fine when you take care of her, you don't need a nanny."

"We'll see, we haven't decided yet."

"Brittany maybe needs one, if you pick one, I'll help you choose." Alma didn't see Brittany was coming back.

"Meaning what, Alma?" Brittany put the tray on the coffee table in a hurry, and waited for Alma to answer her.

"I'm just saying you have a busier schedule than Santana, maybe you'd be relieved to have a nanny." Brittany didn't really buy it. She sat in the armchair, pissed off. She decided not to talk anymore; she would just sit here and wait until Alma left.

"We haven't decided yet as I said, we can find one on our own, Abuelita." Santana said softly, but determined. "Even if we want one, we don't need a Puerto Rican particularly."

"Of course she must be Puerto Rican! This child must know where she comes from!"

"She'll be aware of her roots, trust me. About the nanny, Sophia's American, half-Puerto Rican half-Dutch, but American first of all. I don't care if the nanny's a pygmy if she's the best for her."

"You can't be serious; you can only trust our nannies."

"_Abuelita_, we won't encourage one of her backgrounds more than the other and that's final."

"As if she has backgrounds..." Alma whispered to herself.

"What did you just say?" Santana raised her voice.

"Nothing."

"If you want to work this out with us, you'll have to say your innuendos out loud and explain them, Alma." The fact Santana used her name shook up Alma a bit, and Brittany just watched the scene, fearing anything she would say would just inflame the discussion even more.

"I'm saying that you don't know the father, you don't really know of her backgrounds."

"Brittany is Dutch, she's half-Dutch. What's so hard to understand?" Brittany was petrified, silent.

"I understand Brittany is her adoptive mother but blood does not lie, Santana."

"She's her mom just as much as I am, biological mother or not. End of story!"

"You gave her life; her adoptive mother is just like a full-time nanny."

Brittany looked at Santana. She knew Alma just put the bullet in the gun, and the Russian roulette was on, only Santana could decide to pull the trigger or not.

* * *

><p>Thanks Jen! It's good to see you back :)<p>

Did you guys like this chapter ? Please, tell me !


	10. Chapter 10

"What did you just say?"

"No, I didn't mean it like that." Alma tried to soften her words, she understood as soon as she said it she had crossed a line.

"Yes, you did. You're the one who threw me out and is trying to make amends here. Who are you to judge what blood means? Who are you when you can't even love me for who I am?"

"Santana you're not being fair, I love you, I always have, I just don't understand..."

"You don't understand what? Did you throw me out because you _loved_ me?"

"It was the right thing to do! I understand now that it was a mistake, but I'm a Christian, I thought I was doing the right thing at the time!"

"This has nothing to do with religion, you didn't care about God when you came into Brittany's house, into _her house_, to tell me you were sorry, but you're not." Santana's voice was rising with the emotions she was feeling.

"I _am _sorry for what I did. God punished me, I'm all alone, I _was_ all alone! Do you think it's easy to come to you after all those years to say sorry..."

"_But you chose that Alma_! You chose what you did to yourself, not God, not me, YOU, only you!"

"You don't understand th..."

"Oh I get it very clearly, I am a consolation prize for your miserable loneliness. I'm not a charity."

"I never meant that, that is not true!" Alma stood up, her hands in the air, defenseless. "Can't you understand? How is it for me, to... erase all I believe in because... _I love you?_! I do it, for you..."

Santana stared at her grandmother, speechless. She had a hard time thinking clearly, with her emotions running through her mind, and a crying Sophia in her arms. Brittany, who was witnessing the scene, was unable to say or do anything until then. She went by Santana's side, stepping right behind her wife and child.

"Alma, you don't have to understand, or doubt all you believe in, you have to _accept_ it, just accept it." Brittany said, with her sweet and careful tone, determined nevertheless. She wanted to ease Santana, more than anything else, and certainly not leave her alone with her family issues. "You have to accept that things could be different, not worse, not better, just different. _We _are a family, she's my daughter because I love her, because I wanted to create a family with Santana, raise children together, provide them a great education and let them become wonderful people. This is what motherhood is about, life is too short to care about genes, and our children need someone to love them, to protect them, not a matching hair color. You just have to accept that."

Santana thought it was so Brittany-like, those speeches out of nowhere, but always so accurate and right. It was what Santana wanted to say, but all her anger prevented her from talking clearly. She turned slightly around to look at Brittany, her soft worried face, looking back and forth between her and Alma, those blue orbs clearly showing her need to protect her own family.

"But I have to understand so I can accept it." Alma was intrigued. Never in her life had she spoken like that with Santana, they were both too influenced by their wild moods and latin passion, and talking, understanding each other's point of view wasn't really their area of expertise. Brittany brought up some ideas that helped Alma defined what the situation actually was. The tall blonde had a way of getting right to the heart of the matter. So Alma listened.

"I can't understand your struggle with religion, since I'm not a churchgoer, I can only guess, and I accept it because this is your life, not mine, and I accept you as you are in my daughter's life. I don't care about who you are, and what you believe in if you are good for her, for Santana, and on top of all, if you can respect what we all are, which is a family. Can you believe I need Sophia as much as she needs me, and that we are bound as any other mother and child, that if something would ever happen to Santana, I would be the one Sophia would need, because she'd love me, because... she'd know I'd protect her ? Can you believe that, and accept it?"

Alma was lost in her thoughts. Brittany made a valid point quite successfully, and she considered it very thoughtfully. It felt like an easy second step, since she tried for so long to understand and failed each time. However, it was bizarre to admit Brittany was right, a part of Alma didn't want Brittany to be someone wonderful, she didn't want her to be someone admirable, but she was forced to face the fact that Brittany really was someone respectful and wise, somehow despite everything Alma wanted to believe to the contrary.

Santana stared at Brittany, and her anger started to fade away a bit. Her sweetness, her understanding, the way she didn't let people get in her way without being aggressive. This was everything Santana loved about her. She had nothing more to add, so she held Sophia tight, gripping the little girl's clothes.

Alma saw the small gesture, and pictured for the first time how protected Santana felt around Brittany. The tenderness in her granddaughter's eyes, the light smile on her lips through the anger, her hands gripping the clothes. It reminded her of when Santana was a little girl, and when she was scared, she used to grab the material of her skirt, glancing up with her large wet eyes. She remembered herself saying, "Not now, _nena_" instead of cuddling her to reassure her, she wanted to teach her that life could be hard.

Seeing her holding her Sophia like that, she could easily guess how Santana would be, when her baby would be older. She imagined her taking the crying child in her arms, asking "What's wrong?" really worried, hugging her until she felt better. Yes, Santana was different and it was a nice kind of difference. What Brittany said made sense.

"I have to think about it." Alma let out, with her natural proud tone. She bent to grab her coat and purse from off the sofa close to her. "I'll leave now." She walked close to them, and without a glance, she exited the apartment.

When the door slowly slammed, Santana allowed small tears to run down her cheeks as she let out a heavy sigh.

"Oh no, honey..." Brittany hugged Santana, who rested her head in Brittany's neck, the embrace catching Sophia between them. She quietly cried, letting her walls come down, as Brittany stroked her hair, placing small kisses on her cheek. She slightly relaxed the hug to check on Sophia, looking down at their daughter between them. When she met deep blue eyes staring up at her, she couldn't help but smile.

"What about... We go out for a walk, get some fresh air? And then we could talk about it..." Brittany tried but Santana just stared at her baby girl. "Do you like walks in the park?" She said, tickling Sophia's cheek with a light finger. A large smile shone on the baby face, the very first real smile she shared with her parents. Their throats tightened and they chuckled.

"You like going to the park with your mommies, don't you?" Brittany tickled her daughter again, and the smile grew larger. She started to laugh tenderly.

"Oh my baby!" Her tears turned from sad to joyful in an instant. Sophia rested her unsteady head in her mom's neck; Santana moved her shoulder a bit so they could continue watching her. Brittany dried the tears with her thumb and gave her a light kiss. Santana tried to pull herself together; she snuggled closer to her beloved wife. "Let's go..." She whispered in a soft loving voice.

...

"Dad? Are you here?" Brittany yelled into her parents' garden.

"Over here!" Andrew answered from inside his shed.

Brittany crossed through the whole garden, tightening her vest across her body trying not to get wet from the soft rain. Her dad loved his shed, he built it himself. When he needed time to think, he just retired to it for hours, and all the girls from the family respected his privacy. It was his own little version of Paradise, and they never disturbed him, or very rarely.

"Can I come in?" Brittany softly said pushing the door ajar, still not entering.

"Come in, sweetheart; come see your old daddy."

Andrew had set a large table in the middle of the shed, his tools hung up on the walls, boxes everywhere, the perfect shed for a super-dad.

"How are y- Wow!" Brittany was shocked by what she saw. Her dad was varnishing a small wooden chair, which Andrew had decorated by carving flowers into the pale wood. "Did you make this?"

"It took me a little longer than expected, but, yes, I did it." Andrew said, very proud of his work.

"This is wonderful..." Brittany looked at the chair more closely. "And you carved it? I didn't know you could do that..."

"My dad loved carving; we did it a lot together when I was a little boy." He kept varnishing the chair with a large brush. "I wanted to try again." He smiled as Brittany was studying every detail, astonished. "Do you think they'll like it?"

"Of course they will! Mom loves everything you do."

"No, I meant Sophia and Santana." Andrew said softly.

"This is for us?"

"Yeah, I made it for Sophia. I know this is not as fancy as the rest of your furniture but, this is all I can do..."

Brittany was so happy. Her dad had always been the shy guy in the family, considering how colorful her mother and sister were. She saw how proud he was of being a granddad, happiness written all over his face. She could easily picture how he must have worked hard on this chair; since he couldn't really express his joy as easily as everyone else did, he must have thought of a different way to show his feelings. Brittany was so moved by what he did, by how the chair reminded her of her father, a little vintage, but so very beautiful.

"Thank you so much! You didn't have to!" Brittany rushed to his side and hugged him, forcing Andrew to hold his brush high in the air not to get varnish all over them.

"I wanted her to have a little piece of her granddad forever." He acknowledged with a smile. "It's large enough for her to sit on when she'll be older, or for her dolls, I don't know..."

"It's perfect Dad! They'll love it, I know it for sure. This is so wonderful! Thank you so, so much..." Andrew smiled at Brittany.

"You know, I really loved to make things, when I was a little boy."

"You never talked about it.. Why did you stop?"

"Oh I don't know, life makes you change your priorities. I had your mom, and then, my baby girls to take care of, the work... I forgot about it." He applied more varnish. "But now you have your own family, Chloe is... _Chloe_" He said chuckling "So, it made me do a lot of thinking, you know, about when I was a child too, about what I'm going to do now. It's time for me to share all my memories before it's too late."

"Don't say such things..."

"But I have to! I'm getting old, and I want your daughter to know me, remember me, and tell my girls everything I didn't tell you already, it's a fact of life... We're getting old."

Brittany had never seen this side of Andrew. He always was so logical, and talking about feelings was really unusual for him. She studied his expression, trying to find any shadow of sadness. But all she saw was his happiness, so she just felt blessed, even if the conversation was deep. It was so good, compared to Santana's family. The Pierce's were soft, welcoming, loving. They could talk about anything, even if Andrew usually left that part to Julie.  
>Andrew put his brush down, and dried his hands on an old cloth.<p>

"I think it's finished!" He said with pride, and Brittany just nodded sagely. "When it dries, I'll bring it to your house." They just looked at it for a while, sharing smiles and caring glances. "Family hug?"

"Family hug!" Brittany rushed in her dad's embrace, and snuggled against him. "I love you, you know."

"I know, I know." He put a kiss in her hair. "But you didn't tell me, what are you doing here?" He said ending the hug.

"I was just passing by to say hello, it was on my way home."

"How are things going?" He was cleaning a bit the table as they talked.

"Good. Well, I'm good, but Santana had an argument with Alma yesterday, and I had to step in between them."

"I thought you wanted Santana to deal with Alma on her own?"

"I meant it but it just doesn't get any better, and she started to denigrate my role as Sophia's other mother, so..."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, she crossed a line so I figured I should do something you know. I couldn't let her do that, but I didn't want Santana to throw her out, she would have been shattered. So I don't know, I tried to make her understand it myself, I don't know if it worked or not, but I tried..."

"Did you have any news since then?"

"Santana had lunch with her parents earlier, she'll tell me tonight I suppose."

"I see... Old people, they are hard to deal with. They're stubborn." He said, worried.

"Yeah... I'm lucky to have such a loving family, I get it now. I just don't know how we should get San to deal with her grandma. It would destroy her to lose her again. She was so sad last night."

"That's really delicate indeed. Maybe we could do another family reunion with her parents, maybe seeing the whole family together would make her feel better? I'm sure you mom would be delighted to plan that... We're her other family after all!"

"It's actually an amazing idea! We should make it a surprise!"

"I'll talk to your mom, she'll get with Gloria to set it up..."

"What would I do without you guys...Seriously!" Brittany said relieved.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback : Few weeks later.<strong>_

Santana just arrived in Patrick's office to discuss her come-back.

"We've had a huge demand from shows for interviews, we just have to pick the best, and define which questions shouldn't be asked, unless you're fine with everything. Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, I planned some recording sessions next month. I mean, the label just sent me dozens of demos, it's just insane, you just have to pick the ones you like too. But if you feel like writing, go ahead; at least we know that we have back-up songs in case." She listened very carefully.

"I see you planned everything, as usual." She was really annoyed to be there, actually. Patrick was so ecstatic to deal with Santana again, he had all these projects for them, his mind was racing.

"Of course I did! Your song has gone viral, 8 million views on YouTube, we should enjoy the buzz around it, and use your Grammy performance as the start of a new album. Get something good out of it. We really shouldn't lose focus now, Santana."

"But I kind of don't want to do all that stuff right now."

"What do you mean you "kind of don't want" to do it? We can't relax right now, the tabloids are on fire since your wild escapade, everything is perfect Santana, perfect, now is the time to do a mind-blowing come-back!"

"Can't I do it slower? Like, really take time to work on something really good-"

"No, no time, we have no time, we have to do it now or people will believe it wasn't actually marketing."

"But it wasn't marketing."

"Yeah, but people don't need to know that! Come on, you really want people to be sure about your previous condition?"

"I don't want to lie anymore."

"It's not about lying, it's... living another reality, change few facts and everybody will be better this way."

"Will _I_ be better this way?" Patrick had nothing to say for a moment, her bitterness making him uncomfortable with this discussion.

"Well..." He looked up, and met Santana's hard dark eyes, staring right at him with quite an aggressive expression. "You can't let them know. Do you really want to answer questions about depression, what happened exactly, and on top of it all, ten times a week?"

"I don't get why I should do a promo tour right now, to say what, "Hi, I'm still Santana, I'm still alive but I have nothing else to talk about cause I don't give a fucking damn about you, bastards." They'll appreciate that, for sure."

"Santana, you don't want to record, you don't want to do promo... What are you going to do? You can't just sit around doing nothing."

"That's the point. Thanks to you, I have millions of dollars to afford doing nothing, why couldn't I enjoy a little break for a while?"

"A break?" He was so shocked he burst into laughter. "A break! You're out of your mind, you can't just quit right now. We can do a small album and then, let the pressure fall, but this is really not the right time for a break Sant-"

"I don't care. Actually, I'm quitting singing."

"You what? Santana, you're still depressed, don't say such things."

"It's all decided. I made up my mind a while ago, months ago actually, I talked to Brittany and my parents about considering it, but now I realize that this is what I want. I want to quit singing."

"This is a fucking joke!" Patrick was raging, standing up from his chair behind his desk. Santana stood up too, but way more calmly, she took her coat and her purse from the empty chair next to her. "Where are you going Lopez?" She put her coat on.

"You can't respect my life, you can't even respect my career and how I want to proceed, so yeah, I quit singing _and_ you're fired." She exited the room without even a backwards glance or another word for him. He was shocked she had just ended a long collaboration just like that, so he stood there, holding onto his desk as his only support.

...

"I TOLD HIM!" Santana rushed into the apartment, leaving her things in a total mess in the hall.

"You told him what?" Brittany was sitting on the floor close to the coffee table, looking at a magazine.

"That he was fired!"

"_What?_"

"I did it!" Santana kept rushing to Brittany's side, as the blonde stood up. "I told him it wasn't okay for him to treat me like that, he wanted me to do a promo tour and-"

"Slow down, what happened?"

"He wanted me to do another album like right now, and interviews and stuff... and he wanted me to do a full promo tour, and lie about the Grammys, I couldn't do it! I can't do it! So I fired him!"

"Wow, honey.. okay.. That's _a lot_ to think about, okay..."

"Aren't you happy about it?" Santana was suddenly worried, whereas seconds before she was in a complete frenzy.

"It's not that I'm not happy about it, it's that we didn't discuss it before..."

"But I told you I wanted to take things slow and-"

"Yeah, I know, but not about... _firing_ him! Are you sure Santana?"

"Yeah! Like 100% sure! I'm free now!" Brittany smiled at Santana's enthusiasm.

"But what are you gonna do instead?"

"First, marry you, and then I don't know, I have plenty of time to think about it. I'm not really sure if I want to sing again, I don't know, I'll figure something out... Aren't you happy?"

"I am, I am! I just don't want you to make these kinds of huge decisions to make _me_ happy, I want to be sure that _you_ are happy and you're doing it for yourself."

"I've never been so happy." Santana said with such a joyful even voice she could have made the angels cry.

"Okay." Brittany simply answered; the fire in Santana's eyes convincing her to trust her.

"All I want to focus on now is planning the wedding, being lazy with you, carpe diem, honey." Santana looked at her fiancée, her excitement obvious. She was so excited she didn't know what to do with herself at this particular moment. She looked like a 5 years old child, in the middle of the living-room, rocking on her feet. Her large smile was so tender it made Brittany's heart melt. "I really want it, I really do." She almost pleaded.

...

Santana was drinking her morning coffee in the kitchen, being lazy reading the newspaper in her bathrobe. She was looking much better: she wasn't stressed at all anymore, a rare feeling these last few years, she was perfectly relaxed and cool, she had even gained a little weight, and the engagement ring was now a perfect fit. Brittany loved to see her like this.

"Hey Britt, listen, "_The Broadway Star Rachel Berry presents her first self-directed show tonight, a reinterpretation of Funny Girl._" Groundbreaking. Oh even better! "_She'll be playing Fanny Brice, one of the most famous roles of Barbra Streisand._" We should send flowers to boost her ego." Brittany, who was cooking her breakfast, laughed at Santana's sarcasms.

"I think we already did when she released her memoirs. What was the title again? 365 days...?"

"365 Days of Extravaganza, the life of Rachel Berry. Oh my god, that was something!"

Santana said taking another sip of her coffee. She kept reading her newspaper as Brittany quietly ate, glancing every now and then at her happy fiancée, commenting on almost every article. The blonde thought she had no need to read it since Santana just spilled everything happening in the world with such delightful sarcasm and very funny jokes. She pictured Santana presenting a news broadcast, with a horrible haircut and a very classic grey suit, highlighting every story with her wicked humor. It made her giggle as she stood up to put her plate in the sink.  
>When she came back out she noticed a humorous look on Santana's face and asked her what she was laughing at.<p>

"Nothing, babe." Brittany bent from behind, and slid a hand under the bathrobe to cuddle the warm morning skin she loved so much, and snuggled into her neck.

"When does your meeting start?" Santana asked the blonde, who was fully clothed and ready to go.

"In an hour or so." She answered with a sigh, looking at the kitchen clock, before cuddling again into San's neck.

"Look! _"Recording studio for sale_. _Built in 1973, 5 recording rooms and 3 offices requires renovations. Priced to sell quickly._" Santana was going through the classifieds, and this advertisement surprisingly caught her eye.

"What label was that?"

"It's close to here... I think it's the Cardoleone Records building. I heard they were bankrupt. I should go have a look!"

"Why?"

"I don't know..." She actually didn't know why, but she felt like she had to go see this building. "I... I could start a studio. For fun!"

"The only thing you want is to torture innocent young girls with your vicious, vicious words." Brittany teased.

"That would be a cool thing to keep me busy! I'll go see it today." She put her mug down, and she ripped the page out.

"Wait, you weren't joking?"

"No, why?" She said very seriously. "I'll just have a look, no big deal. Maybe this is a heaven sent opportunity, I shouldn't miss it."

"Alright... "Brittany was skeptical. "It's just not really like you to do things so randomly... First Patrick, then a studio?"

"Hold on, I didn't buy anything yet! And even if I do, what's the risk by renovating an old building, if I don't like doing it, I can still sell it." Santana shrugged leisurely.

"That's a bit radical but I guess you can. I'm just not used to this Santana." Santana stood up to face her, and Brittany had to let go of her hand cuddling under the bathrobe.

"What Santana?"

"I-don't-plan-anything-and-I-live-on-the-edge Santana." Brittany smiled.

"Don't you like it?"

"I thought I knew every bit of you but you are so surprising lately I have a hard time believing this is all true."

"Unexpected is my new religion." She exited the kitchen towards the hall.

"I'm so not complaining..." Brittany joked and followed her; it was time to leave for her meeting. "What are you gonna do today, except the building visit?" She said as she took her things from the hall, getting ready to leave.

"I have lunch with my girls, and until then, I'm gonna put everything upside down around the house." Brittany kissed her goodbye.

"Nuclear explosion sounds astounding." She said, and grabbed the door handle.

"Starting now, with a shower!" Santana said, tiptoeing like she dancing down the corridor, already heading to the bathroom.

"Have fun!" Brittany yelled, peeking one last time at her fiancée.

"I will!" She said, letting her bathrobe fall to the ground, offering Brittany a gratuitous glimpse of her bare perfect body. Brittany chuckled; this Santana was unbelievably lovable, even more than she could have ever guessed. Too bad she already proposed, she so would have done it again.

* * *

><p>Thanks to my awesome beta Jen :) !<p>

I loved all your reviews and messages on tumblr, thank you so much ! Some of you have really good ideas that made me explore things deeper than I actually planned before. So tell me what you want to happen next ! Don't be shy cause the more you're suggesting, the more motivated I am to keep writing this story :)  
>Love you all, see you next week for another chapter :)<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

**Flashback : Months later. **

"You're sure you know where we are?"

Santana was beyond worried. Puck was driving her to the wedding location. They left Jorge and Gloria's house more than two hours ago, Santana was really getting stressed out. Lost in the middle of the countryside, they stopped at a crossroad. There were only gorgeous fields and old trees around them. It was really sunny, and the late afternoon seemed really romantic filled with such perfect light.  
>She was all dressed-up, and she tried as hard as she could not to crease her chic white organza dress. The plunging neckline was trimmed in delicate flowers made of shining pearls. She had her hair done up in a bun with an elegant flower hanging on the left.<p>

"Positive. Brittany said I have to stop here, and wait for an obvious sign." Santana sighed as Puck continued. "How the hell did you agree to this?"

"Well... We were looking for ideas for the wedding, but nothing was good enough. Brittany had this crazy idea that sounded amazing back then, which I bitterly regret right now." She looked out the car window for what might be considered an obvious signs. "We agreed to split up the planning. She took the wedding since she was the one who proposed, I picked the honeymoon. She doesn't know anything about it; hence I don't know anything about the wedding."

"That's crazy!"

"I know! I had to choose our outfits, her ring and that's pretty much it."

"What about the date? Was that a surprise too?"

"Nah, we picked the date together. We chose our marriage officiate too, we wanted a Christian one, it's important to our both families. " She sighed even louder. A car drove by and Santana held her breath.

"I don't think it's obvious enough."

"But maybe tha-"

"She meant something _really_ obvious, San."

"Did she tell you anything else? I think you can spill it now, I think I'll die of suspense otherwise."

"Nope, she only sent me an email last night with the directions, but they stopped right here. She asked us to be here at..." He looked at his watch. "Precisely right now and added "_Wait at the crossroad for an obvious sign which will leave you with no doubt._"

"I hate her ways right now." Puck laughed at Santana's worried tone.

"What have you planned for the honeymoon though?"

"I'm so not gonna tell you! I can't trust you when you're drunk." She chuckled.

"Fair enough."

"But it's pretty hysterical." She smiled.

An old but very elegant black car was coming close to the perpendicular road. They both stared at it, Santana holding onto her small wedding bouquet, careful not to squeeze it too hard. Standing half out of the sunroof, Chloe was holding two large pieces of white silk, flying in the air like the most mesmerizing birds. The car barely slowed while driving in front of them.

"_Let's get you married Bitcheeeeeeessssssssss! Woooo Hooooo!_" Chloe yelled joyously into the breeze. Santana's heart quivered. Everything suddenly felt so real.

"Badass..." Puck laughed as he started the car, and followed them.

Santana bent between the car seats to take a mirror from her bag. She didn't know anything about the party that night, if there was even a party, so she packed another dress, stuff to get rid of her bun and makeup, things for the hotel... She checked her face.

"You're perfect, relax."

"Oh my gosh Puck, I'm freaking out." She whispered as she saw in the small mirror how her cheeks blushed for the first time ever.

"There's nothing to worry about, you're meant to be together, you love each other. And I'll probably come to crash at your place every time I get divorced to remind me real love actually exists."

"I'm glad I chose you as my best man. Fuck tradition, I don't need a bridesmaid when I have you." She smiled tenderly at him.

"Stop it, you'll make me cry and it's gonna ruin my makeup!" He ranted in a high-pitched voice. Puck's joke calmed Santana a bit.

Chloe dropped the silk clothes, letting them fly through the air. Santana watched them pass by her window. They were floating on the wind so gracefully. Chloe got back in, and the car turned down an alley edged with trees on each side. There were ribbons on each of them, tying bouquets of pale pink and white flowers to the tree trunks. They saw a tiny chapel at the end of the way where stone walls reflected the cool light like diamonds. Even Puck was speechless before so much beauty. Santana imagined a lot a scenarios but it was already beyond any of her expectations. The place looked magical, the weather idyllic. She felt more than blessed.

Chloe's car stopped half way so Puck pulled in and parked behind her. Jorge got out of the driver's seat, and went to them. She didn't but Puck must have seen the pale carpet that had been unrolled down the center of the alley because when her father opened her door, her feet met the immaculate long piece of cloth.

"She thought about everything." Santana whispered. Brittany had guessed she might need something so as not to dirty her long white train on the countryside ground.

"Mija" Jorge called as Santana smoothed out her dress while getting out of the car. "You look amazing."

"Hi Dad."

"You ready?" He offered his hand.

"I suppose..." She got distracted for a second by Puck and Chloe who ran like crazy to the chapel. They started to walk their way on the carpet.

"Have you seen her?" Santana asked softly.

"No, she knows how to hide."

Santana just smiled at him. If she talked right now, she knew she would cry. She looked around; the bouquets on the trees grew larger the closer they got to the chapel. Flowers were falling like rain down the tree trunks and the breeze was pleasant on her warm cheeks. They walked quietly.

"Do you need a moment before we get there?" Santana nodded. They stopped almost at the chapel. "I'm very happy and very proud of you, you know. I know she's going to treat you well." He was deeply moved. She could tell by how he was holding her arm, with both his hands. He was very protective.

"How could Mom and you be so in love for so long?" She whispered in a breath.

"We respect each other the way we are. We're different but that is exactly why it works. Every morning, I wake up to another Gloria I didn't know before, and every day I fall in love with her all over again." He tried to calm her with his biggest smile. He squeezed her hand to see the big engagement ring better.

"She doesn't joke when it's about you."

"Neither do I." Santana said simply.

"That's right." He chuckled. A solo cello started to play her favorite Bach piece, but it seemed really far considering they were almost at the doors. "Do we go now?"

Santana looked around to see where the music was coming from. Brittany was really going to surprise her on every detail. She smiled and nodded to her dad. She started to walk but her father made her turn towards the right side of the chapel, where it was sunnier.

"It's happening in the garden." He answered her silent question. Of course it was happening in the garden. Brittany wouldn't have done things as everyone else would.

When they reached the chapel's corner, she couldn't help but lean around the corner to get a better look at what was coming. She saw large colorful flowers beds everywhere and another white carpet in the center alley. Two old trees blocked her from seeing where Brittany was, all she could see was nature in its wildest beauty. They reached the carpet and Santana frowned delightfully curious.

The place was magical and the fact she couldn't see her yet teased her already burning heart. They passed the two trees; she smiled at the cello player who played the beautiful notes with great talent. She finally saw the wedding Brittany offered her in all its beauty. There were only four chairs, two on each side for their parents. An arch made of white silk and flowers contrasted with the sea of colors all around them. The priest they both met weeks ago was standing under the arch, Puck on his left with Gloria in front of her chair with her hands folded over her heart. On his right, Chloe who had celebrated her 18th birthday few days ago was waiting as maid of honor, her parents up in front of their chairs too. There was still no sign of Brittany.

They continued as Santana tried to see where Brittany was. She tried to see over the garden's blossoming shrubs. She unconsciously squeezed Jorge's arm when almost half way up the carpet Brittany finally walked by her sister to meet the priest under the arch. She held her breath.

She had imagined her every time she flipped through wedding magazines, in every one of those pretty white dresses. Every night, when Brittany was nodding off in their bed, she looked at her sleeping beauty and she pictured her makeup, how she would do her hair. She fell asleep with all these promises of wonders.

She finally laid eyes on her wife-to-be, all her guesses paled in comparison. She hadn't expected the long white dress ending with pretty lace; neither her hair done in a loose braid that rested on her shoulder as soft and delicate as any other jewel she could have worn. She was just so angelic, with the sun catching the pale shine of her shoulders, the colorful flowers all round softly dancing in the breeze. Santana wanted to run, throw her bouquet in the air, and fall into her lover arms. Only her father's arm held her back, rooted her in reality but their every step felt torturously slow. Santana was by her side, at last. Brittany looked up and her face instantaneously broke into a large smile.

"You didn't run away." Brittany whispered happily.

"An angel told me not to."

Brittany took her hands as they came closer to the priest. The last chords of the cello faded, and he started his speech. The fact is that Brittany knew every word of it. She barely paid attention to him, all she could do was stare at the brunette, the way her bun flattered her small neck, how much warmer her tanned skin looked when she was wearing white, the light blush on her cheeks that convinced Brittany that her lover's heart was as melted as her own. She somehow heard him asking for her vows. She took a deep breath and melted into her lovers' eyes.

"I love you like I breathe. Every day, every minute, in my sleep, in my dreams, today, tomorrow and ever after until my very last moment. No sadness or doubt could take that away. I promise to grace your days with hope, respect and joy. My best wish is that you could trust me enough to share your deepest fears and your lightest happiness. May we live the sweetest love."

Santana had a hard time keeping her tears bottled up. She felt her eyes water but the priest asking for her vows made her heart race even more, distracting her from crying. She had her speech prepared, she repeated it a thousand times. However, it didn't feel good enough anymore. She bit her lip and glanced at her dad for a brief second. She decided to improvise and speak from her heart.

"Each morning offers me a new shade of you that makes me fall in love with you all over again. Your love is engraved in my skin, and flows with my blood to keep me alive. I can't know who we'll be tomorrow, but I'm already sure that together we could pass through all storms and clouds because we know that the only thing that really matters is caring for each other and loving each other endlessly." She paused, not able to hold back anymore the tears in the corner of her eyes. "May we live the sweetest love." She agreed. It was too much for Brittany who breathed more loudly as the seconds crawled by. The priest gestured for Chloe to come give the ring and Brittany to hold Santana's hand.

"Santana, will you take Brittany as your beloved wife?"

"I do." She whispered for Brittany only. The blonde happily slid a white gold ring matching the engagement ring. She raised the two rings to her lips and sealed them with a light kiss, that made Santana chuckle.

Puck came close to Santana and offered a similar ring, all smiles.

"Brittany, will you take Santana as your beloved wife?"

"Oh yes I do!" Every one giggled at Brittany's enthusiasm and Santana caressed Brittany's finger as the ring perfectly fitted slid on with ease.

"I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Brittany rushed to slide a hand on Santana's back, another on her cheek and then she crashed their lips together. This kiss had the wild flavor of endless summer nights, waves of happiness flooding over and over again through their hearts, and on top of it all, it tasted like love.

Santana's bouquet was suddenly very annoying in their embrace. Santana threw it in the air in Chloe's direction and smiling through the kiss; she slid both arms around the small of Brittany's back and pulled her close. Santana didn't even notice the applauding guests nor the photographer before her and Brittany floated back to Earth. Santana pulled out of the kiss.

"I love you!" She sang, her voice trembling with emotion as tears flowed down her cheeks.

"Aww... I love you too!" They hugged each other so hard they slightly rocked. When Brittany regained her composure, she barely turned around from the hug to their family. "Welcome to the Lopez-Pierce family!" She cooed loudly and everybody laughed, the priest included.

...

Brittany was driving them along the small roads of the countryside, both all smiles, while the day started to fade away.

"So, what's the plan now?" Santana asked, holding her wife's hand tightly and playing with her ring.

"Try to guess!"

"Okay... Does it involve a lot of alcohol?"

"Come on, it's our wedding!" Brittany laughed.

"Is it outside?"

"Probably."

"That is not an acceptable answer. I wantz my details! Do you even realize how terrible waiting has been until now?"

"We agreed on that." She smirked.

"I know..." She sighed, her emotions were way too strong to process in such a small amount of time, in such a little heart. "Are we going into town?"

"Nope."

"What crazy idea could you have..." She wondered.

"Never meant it to be crazy." Brittany said slyly.

"So it's classy?"

They heard loud music outside of the car. Puck's convertible top car passed by them, Chloe sitting on the back seats head rests. Arms up in the air, her blond long hair was waving in the wind and they heard her sing very loudly.

"_Cause it's truuuuuuuuue, I dooo, I doooo, I DOOOOO!_" She was in a total disco music frenzy state of mind. She was shaking her arms along with the rhythm and Puck was hysterically laughing on the driver's seat.

"Don't know who that girl is. Do you know her?" Brittany joked very seriously.

"I think I might have heard she had a business providing the most horrible wedding playlists. Not sure about that though..."

"I promise I didn't hire her for tonight. I have a straitjacket in the trunk in case she tries to run the music."

"So there's music!" Brittany peeked at her for a second, and burst out of Santana's poor attempt at getting details and her reaction at what seemed obvious.

"Don't make fun of me; it's horrible not to know!"

"Okay, I tell you one detail, and you tell me one detail about the honeymoon." She teased. Santana didn't like it at all; the honeymoon was her ultimate top secret case.

"You'll get details over my dead body!" She started.

"I think we could work for the KGB now, nothing can be leaked by us..." She laughed. "But actually... we've arrived."

Santana rushed to see through the window, she only had eyes from her wife until then. All around, there was only grass, beautiful expanses of green grass under the fading sunlight. Brittany took her hand back and put it on the wheel, and turned into a really small alley. They passed a Golf entrance sign.

"Golfing? I didn't bring my shoes!" Santana laughed, really intrigued. Brittany said nothing as her smirk grew bigger and bigger. They seemed to drive through the entire Golf course, Brittany turned by a pretty hill covered in old trees, Santana was stamping her feet in excitement. Her eyes went wide, the club-house was actually a huge mansion and several dozen very luxurious cars were parked there.

"It's Sam's car! Oh God, I haven't seen him in ages!" Santana was seriously exhilarated. "QUINN! This one is Quinn's! But how many people are there? Tell me, please, please, pretty please!"

Brittany parked closest to the front door and checked herself in the car's mirror.

"Wanna go?" She asked in the softest way in the world with her large smile, her shiny blue eyes and the blessed expression on her features.

"UGH!" Santana was already opening the door, trying to figure out a way to get out without ripping her dress. Brittany however exited like a graceful bird; her shorter dress was way more convenient. She finally managed and they both rearranged themselves. Brittany offered her hand; Santana grabbed on tightly as they entered the luxurious mansion.

Santana glanced at everything, investigating the place with so much delight. She appreciated the wooden architecture of the building, the paintings hung on the walls, the shining lights and ancient lamps. It was just too perfect.

"It's over here." Brittany led them in front of two extremely large doors. Before entering the Ball room, she looked at her; she tried to read her feelings. "Are you happy?"

"Immensely." Santana said with a strong voice filled with pride.

"Okay." Reassured, Brittany pushed open the doors.

Down a few steps, what seemed like hundreds of people were waiting for them, all scattered between dozens of tables. From the chandelier hung a few long and light panels of ivory tulle, hanging on the walls by waterfalls of roses. Every table was more chic than the last, huge candles warming the atmosphere of the already magical room even more. The glass doors were wide open so people could go wherever they wanted and enjoy the place and the night more freely. A stage had been built in the back of the room and where a large band waited to play.

It was the dream wedding from her little girl memories; it had the romanticism of it and it pleased grown-ups guilty pleasures, also Santana's biggest sin, luxury.

People started to applaud and Santana's eyes watered. She looked around taking in everyone's faces. Her whole family was there in a great Latino tradition, aunts and uncles, grandchildren and cousins. She saw all their friends, singers, actors, choreographers, photographers, numerous people who had been a part of their life over the past ten years.

Brittany's family, not as large as Santana's, but just as loud, people she didn't know, probably from the blonde's family from far away, children running around adults and in a little corner, some of their Glee Club friends, a little lost in this large crowd.

Santana felt her throat tighten so she held Brittany's hand tighter, like a quiet thank you, a wordless I love you.

"Let's say hello..." Brittany whispered.

She tiptoed down the stairs gleefully, taking Santana in her dance.

...

"It's time to cut the cake honey." Brittany said lovingly in Santana's ear, and nodded to a waitress her approval.

"The cake! I forgot about the cake! Oh my god Brittany, there's too many things to taste already..." Santana was really overwhelmed. The dinner has been a great success, every course more delicious, more sophisticated than the last. Santana was surprised each time, as was everyone else around; Brittany insisted on not putting any menus on the tables.

The music started to slow down a bit and people stopped their conversations. Two waiters brought the huge cake, several layers of white pastry and colorful flowers in sugar that matched the ones all around. They complied with the cliché pictures, holding the knife as it went down the river of flowers on the cake. Brittany softly bit Santana's fingers when she made her taste the cake, which made her laugh. Santana savored the vanilla flavor, her favorite, curling her lips in delight. Brittany kissed her; loving the expression on her face.

"Your kisses are amazing being all wedding cake flavored." Santana said with joy. "But I think I didn't real get a proper taste..." Brittany chuckled and gave her another kiss. "Yup, crystal clear, it tastes amazing."

...

"Brittany, show us your wildest moves!" Mike Chang yelled from across the ball room.

"Salsa! Salsa! Salsa!" Santana heard from her relatives tables, pounding the tables with their fists.

The first dance has been announced, and the newlyweds laughed at all the suggestions the guests were shouting. As she stood up, Santana did a few Salsa steps that set the tables on fire.

"She prepared her dance! _Cheat_!" Cristina, one of her cousins accused joking.

"What kind of dance is it?" Santana whispered. Brittany didn't answer; she reached for her hand, slid an arm around her back, and pulled her very closely against her. For a few seconds, Santana didn't know what to do, so she stared at Brittany to request some orders. Brittany seemed far away. She stroked her cheek instead, and placed her hand on the warm tanned skin. Her eyes seemed to water but Santana wasn't sure.

The band started to play the first notes, and she recognized the song right away. Brittany started to cry as she let her lips whispered the first words for her wife only.

"_For you, __there'll be no more crying... For you, the sun will be shining..._" She let the music wander, she couldn't go through the lyrics anymore.

"Santana, I..." Santana snuggled against her to help Brittany spill whatever she was trying to say. "When you sang that to me, back then... I wasn't crying because it was beautiful. It was, don't get me wrong but... I was crying because I thought you might be the one, I just didn't know back then how to say it..." She looked closely at her wife and took a deep breath. "I got lost along the way, but I couldn't be more glad to be here, right here, right now. This is what I wished for, back then... With my teenage weird way of thinking." She cracked a smile. "To dance with you to this music, as if we own the world."

When Brittany came back and when she was proposing, Santana thought, that was exactly what she had been thinking and feeling. This was where they belonged. That's right, dancing together to this music, as if they owned the world.

"Can we dance like this for another ten years before going back to reality?" Santana asked, her voice trembling with emotion. She held Brittany tight, encircling her waist with strong arms and put a trail of kisses in her neck.

"If it was up to me, a hundred years wouldn't be long enough."

...

Brittany was leaning alone against a door frame, with a glass of wine, as the crowd was dancing, talking, enjoying the late party. She was spying on Santana, who was sitting at her table, conversing with a couple of cousins, she was holding a baby boy on her lap.

"_How do you say 'Auntie Santana', tell me! 'Auntie Santana'."_ Santana and his parents were playing with the baby boy.

"_Tini Sanana!"_ The boy almost yelled.

"_Well-done!"_ And three adults applauded and laughed.

"It gives you ideas, huh?" Sam was talking from behind Brittany. He has been watching her for a brief moment.

"We can't steal the baby; they'll know it's us." Sam chuckled at Brittany's serious tone. "Maybe if we move to an island, I don't know..."

"No I mean, seeing her with babies, doesn't it make you want to have some with her?"

"Oh that! Yeah... Kind of..." She played with her finger around the glass to make it sing. Sam felt Brittany being a little sad, deep in thought.

"Doesn't she want kids?"

"No, no, she does, but... I'm a little scared. It's complicated since we don't have all the mechanics. I know for sure Santana and I are strong, that's not the point, but we're talking about a lot of procedures, tests, appointments and we can't be sure it'd even work. I'm so ready for the kids." She paused and breathed. "Definitely not ready for the ordeal of making them." She took a sip. "Actually, I don't know if she's ready either."

"You know, sometimes, good things happen sooner than expected." Brittany turned all the way around to face Sam.

"_Hey Santana!_" Eduardo, her cousin, was joking loudly. "_Now you tied the knot, I'm waiting for the Golf team!_"

"_Shut it, once you'll be introduced to the Torturer Cherubs from Hell, aka my kids, you'll swear the world has come to an end!_" Brittany giggled.

"_True!_" Her cousin burst into laughter.

"_That's why I'm planning on getting my wifey knocked up ASAP by a flock of beautiful angels to save humanity from the Big Bang._" They both laughed hysterically.

"See, Uncle Sam's always right!" Sam poked Brittany.

"I see that." She smiled wide. "Come on! It's been a while since we've all been all together."

She led them to her table, where an impromptu Lopez family reunion was happening, with Jorge and Gloria, the cousins, and Santana still playing with the boy.

"Trouty Mouth! Oh gosh, it's been years since I've said that..." Santana welcomed him. Jorge gave him a glass full of wine.

"Taste that boy; it's so worth the shot..." Jorge rushed so he could drink with them. "Where did you find this wine Brittany, its incredible?"

"French wine, my guilty pleasure. I wanted the best." Brittany cheerfully answered.

"It tastes like the best!" Sam was surprised too by how good it was.

"Look Britt, its David!" She raised the baby hands with hers. "Eduardo's son. Wanna hold him?"

"Want to come with Auntie Brittany?" The blonde said. The baby boy dived into Brittany's arms. It looked like Brittany was a big cotton-candy for him considering how enthusiastic he was.

"Lopez Family Recruitment Committee just solemnly admitted you!" Jorge kidded.

"So Sam, tell me, what's up in your life?" Santana asked and relaxed her legs.

"Still a dentist! I'm helping at Blaine's Charity business too!"

"Who could have guessed you'd end up dentist!" Santana laughed softly. "You know what, actually, I'm really happy to see you; it's been like what, two years?"

"Yeah, something like that!"

"Yeah, and yeah, I'm really _really_ happy to see you! I can't say that about the Jew midget over there..." She pointed with her head at Rachel talking with Quinn few tables away.

"Oh come on, you like her too... Just deep down, deep _deep_ down." Brittany teased and Sam chuckled.

"I'm really happy to see you too, especially at such great occasion! Congratulations!" He tapped Santana's shoulder, winking.

"Why don't we plan a dinner sometime soon? Catch up and stuff, I'd enjoy that!" Brittany said, rocking the boy playing with her braid.

"That would be great!" Santana and Sam said in unison.

...

The party was done. Except for their close family and Puck who also had rooms to sleep at the mansion that night, everybody had left or the very least were saying their goodbye's. Brittany and Santana left for their room more than an hour ago, Puck and Chloe were checking everything was okay before going to bed too.

"Puck, your car is in the way of mine, can you move it?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah of course! Oh shit the keys are in my room! Can you wait for a second, I'll grab 'em?"

"Yeah, go ahead, I'll just wait here."

He rushed through the hall, the stairs and got to the first floor, where their rooms were, very quickly. Brittany had rented the whole hotel so the hallways were all empty. He got into his room, and hurriedly looked for his car keys in a vest on his bed. When he locked his door, he heard a strange sound in the hallway. It seemed to come from this end. He let go when he heard a second weird sound, like someone pushing furniture.

"What the fuck!" He wondered out loud. He stuffed his keys in his pocket and decided he should go check. He walked in the hallway, and listened carefully, but Quinn was waiting for him and he didn't hear any more strange sounds.

He passed by the brides' room, where a little sign "Do not disturb" was hung on the handle and Puck recognized Santana's hand writing on the words added with lipstick: _"Seriously, don't!"_ He laughed as he took the sign to read better.

There were no more sounds at all; so he hung the sign back on the handle. The door suddenly shook hard.

"_UGH! Britt!_" The door started to tremble in rhythm.

"Oh shit!" Puck said for himself. He tried to laugh quietly, his curiosity combining with his perverted mind.

"_Right there... Right there..._" Santana voiced a heavy wave of moans. "_I love you so much... So-" _The door shook again. _"SO-Ugh... FUCKING MUCH!..." _He heard Santana's back slide down the door.

"She wasn't that noisy with me..." He smirked as he tiptoed out of the hallway.

In the stairway, he met Chloe desperately yawning.

"Where are you going?" He asked harshly.

"Hey! To bed, I'm dead..."

"You can't go to bed!" He started. His paternal heart couldn't let fate steal Chloe's innocence over some loud lady lovin' she was about to stumble onto. "The night just begun! It's time to party now!"

"It's 6 in the morning and everybody left Puck..."

"Like I care, you're coming with me!"

"No, Seriousl-"

"You're coming, end of story!" He grabbed her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder. He started to go back down the stairs again.

"Puck, put me the fuck down! There'll be consequences!" Chloe was hitting him on his back, but he couldn't care less.

"Do you often kidnap young girls Puck?" Quinn joked as she saw them coming back down stairs causing a commotion.

"Come with us, I'm throwing an impromptu after party!"

"I'm not gonna say it a thousand times, put me down!" Chloe screeched. He finally let go and she headed towards the stairs right away. He grabbed her by the shoulders.

"This way, young lady!" He pointed to the garden as he pushed her that way.

"Come with us, come on, it's too late to drive, you'll drive tomorrow." Quinn hesitated.

"Well.. Okay, I'll stay!"

_**End of the flashback.**_

* * *

><p>Santana had just finished changing Sophia's diaper. They were just coming back from the family reunion Andrew thought of. Santana had loved it, but it didn't fully fill the hole she had in her chest. When they headed home, Santana just pretended Sophia couldn't wait to be changed and escaped to their daughter's room. Brittany wasn't blind; she saw Santana needed a moment, and that the party didn't work as well as she had hoped it would.<p>

She was still so sad, it had been weeks since the argument and Santana only seemed to get sadder and sadder. But Brittany had no other ideas left to cheer her up, besides letting her be alone with Sophia. At least, Sophia made her think about something beautiful and happy.

Sophia had her lips, now they knew for sure, she had the same smile, and maybe her nose. However, her skin was getting lighter and lighter and her eyes were now of a lighter shade of blue with a hint of green. But what Brittany and Santana loved the most, besides who she'd look like, was that Sophia became playful really soon. She was a really quiet baby, she woke up almost every night and Brittany was the one who could calm her down easily. It always made Santana's heart melt, since she knew from her pregnancy Sophia would need her to sleep.

Sophia loved when her moms would blow air in her palms. It just made her laugh like crazy. Santana took her tiny hands against her lips and breathed loudly against them and shook her head, and it worked just fine.

"How your hands smell good all cleaned! Again?" She asked with her baby voice. Sophia waited, moving her arms. She blew again, and Sophia chuckled really loudly.

"You're so cute baby doll... Again?" She said before blowing again.

Brittany was peacefully watching them from the door without Santana being aware of it. Santana put everything in order on the changing table and grabbed new clothes from under the table.

"What about green? Would you like a green onesie for tonight?" She slipped her head in, and then her arms. "Green's your mommy favorite color. She had on a green dress at Prom." She continued talking seriously to the very carefully listening Sophia. "She was gorgeous. Just like you are!" She breathed more air into her tiny hands and Sophia laughed again.

"It works every time." Brittany put a kiss on Santana's shoulder from behind. She made her jump in surprise.

"I didn't hear you coming."

"It's alright." She put another kiss. "I have something for you." She slid a gift messily wrapped under her arm so she could see it.

"What is it?" She asked softly.

"One of your anniversary gifts."

"But it's next month, Brittany." She said a little annoyed.

"I know... I want you to have it tonight."

"Well then..." She asked Brittany to hold Sophia on the table and grabbed the gift. She wasn't really in the mood for gifts but whatever, she'd put on her happy poker face, just like she had done that whole night. She rapidly opened the gift tearing the paper off and letting it fall to the ground. It was a photo frame but on the wrong side. Brittany bent her head to better see her expression.

Santana turned it. It was a blurry picture of herself, sleeping in sun-filled white sheets with a smile on her face.

"I don't know this picture. When was it?"

"The morning after you asked me to have children. You slept like that all night... with this sweet smile. So before you woke up, I took a picture for myself. This is my favorite of you. One of my best memories." Santana thought it was sweet but that was it. "You look so happy in it." She put it on the table and held Sophia back herself.

"You know, Sam told me on our wedding day that... good things happen when you least expect them. Look, it worked for Sophia. We didn't expect her so soon, right?"

"Yeah, Sam is a great guy, he's a real winner." Santana cracked a genuinely fond smile.

"Maybe it'll work the same with Alma. Maybe she'll surprise all of us again, we don't know, maybe she'll come to us again."

"I doubt that." She said very coldly.

"You were happy that day," Brittany took the photo off the table. "But you missed her just as much as you do right now. You just didn't let her run your whole heart and rule your emotions." Brittany stroked the blurry picture with her thumb with a smile, remembering. "I understand your pain, I really do. But don't let her bring us down with sadness. At least for Sophia, if you don't do it for me or for yourself." Brittany turned back taking the picture with her, clearly upset her sweet gift and attempt to cheer her wife up didn't work.

Santana grabbed her wrist before she went.

"I'm sorry." She said her eyes pleading. She was being really honest. "I don't like when we fight."

"Pull yourself together then..." Brittany said as gently as she could.

"I will... I'm really sorry. I'm just... feeling stupid to have believed it could work when there was actually no chance." She pulled Brittany close to her by the wrist.

"We don't know that, I think there's hope in everything. But you can't do it alone, neither can Alma. Both of you need support. I can support you... Please accept the help I'm trying to give you, don't drown yourself in sorrow..."

She held Sophia securely on the table with one hand and turned around to kiss Brittany. "You're right but... can we talk about it tomorrow? Just not tonight..."

"Anytime you want." She smiled and gave her a deeper long lasting kiss.

* * *

><p>Biggest chapter I've ever written, phew ! :D I hope you liked it, tell me what you think !<br>Thank you for all your nice reviews ! You'll be happy to know that almost all your suggestions are included at some point in the story :D Keep sending your suggestions, some are so good :)  
>Also ! Have a nice Brittana week on tumblr :)<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

The studio was empty; although it was quite late Santana didn't expect it to be closed. Carla must still be doing an incredible job, if she could close the place a little earlier than usual. It wasn't like Carla so she must have had a great reason.

As Santana entered the building, she looked over at the front desk. There was a pile of mail for her. Carla must have forgotten to put it on her desk. She took it and started to her office up on the first floor. She was surprised to find all the lights on. She went through the hallway, room 3 was on too, the door open but no one inside.

"Damn, she's gonna kill herself working..." Santana said out loud. Carla must be holed up in her office to work peacefully.

"Carla?" She called to the empty corridor. Whatever, she kept going, as she flipped through her mail. "Ah! Awesome!" She found a letter from Blaine's charity. She opened it hurriedly and read the invitation for the annual charity gala.

"May 16th, May 16th..." She wondered if she was available or not, tapping the envelope on the rest of the pile. She finally reached her office and pushed the door open boldly, eyes down reading her mail.

"Fuck!"

"Oh no!"

She quickly raised her head in surprise.

"OH HELL NO!" Puck and Carla were nude and in quite a controversial position on the couch. She quickly turned her head and exited the room, "Puck, you have thirty seconds to get your dick muzzled and back in your pants before you breathe your last!" She yelled from the other side of the closed door.

"_Where the fuck is my belt?"_ She heard him whisper.

"_There!_"

"15 seconds my honeys, say your prayers!" Santana yelled again.

"_Gimme my shoes!" _She heard someone stumble.

"_Where?" _

"_Under your vest!" _She was getting really impatient.

"Alright, I'm coming in now!" She pushed the door opened with such violence it smashed against the wall.

"YOU!" She pointed to Puck with an accusing finger while he was buttoning his shirt. "You are a despicable human being, a putrid and disgusting man! Not! My! Assistant! She is off limits!"

"But Sant-" He pleaded half-seriously.

"Keep your buts for yourself and keep your hands off of her butt too for the record! Not my assistant, horndog! Have you lost your mind?"

"Santana, I-" Carla tried to speak.

"Hold on sweetheart, There is a specific order to my murder priority, Puck first, then you!" She yelled, looking straight into Carla's eyes and turned back to Puck. "Of all the beautiful girls in this town, you gotta choose my assistant, the only one you cannot have!" She sighed and closed her fists tightly, crumpling up her mail. "And you...! Have you heard about professional conscientiousness or did he eat that as well along with your sweet pretty muff?"

Puck chuckled while Carla stood by completely petrified. "You find that funny?"

"Santana, we're in love." Puck said

"You're what?" Santana was shocked.

"We are...?" Carla looked at Puck in surprise, her heart melting.

"Yes, we are. She asked me to help her out with a few things while you were preggo, and we-"

"I see you take your job very seriously then!" Puck laughed out loud.

"And we spent more and more time together and it just happened." He walked over to Carla and held her in his arms.

"Bullshit!" The Latina was raging.

"Really...? You're serious...?" Carla lovingly asked, held in his embrace.

"No, no way, now see, that's just gross. Carla, I will see you at 9 am tomorrow to decide on your case and now get out of my sight!" Her assistant hurriedly grabbed all her stuff and went to kiss Puck one last time. "SCRAM BEFORE I THROW UP!"

...

"And then, he told me they were in love and it was pretty serious, this basta_-_..._bad _guy!" Santana ranted from the couch, where she was feeding a very hungry Sophia resting on a big cushion on her lap. "How could it be serious, it's Puck we're talking about here!"

From an armchair, Brittany took her eyes off the book she was trying to read, "Don't you think Puck and Carla are good people?"

"Yeah I do but-"

"Don't you think they're old enough to decide for themselves?"

"Yes but that's not my poi-"

"So shut it for 10 minutes and let my daughter eat in peace, please."

Santana held her tongue at Brittany's comment and slightly pouted until she looked at Sophia again. She was eating eagerly with a sweet smile on her face, her eyes wide awake. Santana smiled and stroked her little hand with feather light fingers as Brittany went back to her reading.

"But it really bothers me; it's a workplace, what else could have happen! And on my couch, Ew!"

"Still 9 minutes and 30 seconds to go, love!" Santana pouted, annoyed that she should be calm but really couldn't get there. Brittany smiled at her frustrated expression. She put her book down and moved to sit close to them.

"What is this really about?" She said, her tender voice trying to ease Santana as she checked on Sophia.

"Things keep happening right behind my back, and I can't control anything. Alma first and now this... The universe is not helping me right now. I'm just... I don't know. I feel like everything's so fucked up right now. That was not how it was supposed to be..." Brittany rubbed her cheek.

"I was supposed to enjoy Sophia's first months you know, it's all about smiles and diapers and all I can focus on is how angry I am against everyone else... all of them! Now, it's gonna be super weird at the studio. How is that supposed to help, huh?

"Puck and Carla are great together, I'm pretty happy for them actually...public lovin' apart." She chuckled. "They should apologize about that though; besides I'm convinced Carla will in at the earliest hour possible to make up for it. Don't you think?"

"Yeah she will..." She kept stroking her baby's hand, eyes down. "I just hope nothing goes wrong between them cause I kinda want to keep it a drama-free zone, you know...all I need is for Puck to screw her over and I lose the best assistant I've ever had."

"There will be no drama; they can handle whatever happens in their life... If you hadn't caught them, you probably wouldn't even be aware of it, proof that they can keep things quiet and not bother anyone. Don't overthink things, don't create stress where there isn't any, ok honey?"

Brittany kept stroking her wife's cheek; she has been so depressed lately but was still trying to fight it off, some days more successfully than others. However, it seemed to return over and over again without any sign of ending. She tried to support her the best she could, Santana always responding with a sweet smile. Brittany's felt her attempts were failing each time.

Brittany thought she had to be patient, that at one point, Santana would be tired of her own sadness and would try harder to pull herself together. Days and weeks passed without any improvement, Santana just seemed to swim in troubled waters, all the time. Nothing she said helped, neither her sweet words nor her understanding advice to help her wife see things in a brighter way.

"I don't overthink, they're all fucki-... _messing_ with my head right now..." Again, Santana wouldn't take Brittany's advice. The blonde sighed and removed her hand from Santana's cheek.

...

The next morning, it was Brittany's turn to stay home to watch Sophia. She watched her daughter waking up while Santana was away showering, getting ready for her appointment with Carla to clear things up.

The sleepy baby was babbling in her tiny bed, it was just too sweet. Brittany decided to get her morning coffee so she could watch her a little longer.

"Mommy's coming right back now, angel..."

She wandered happily to the kitchen and came back. Before she reached Sophia's room, she heard Santana crying in the shower. She peeked at her daughter still babbling peacefully. She went to the bathroom.

"Baby, are you alright?"

"What?" Santana yelled over the water's sound. Brittany came closer and opened the shower door slightly ajar taking care not to get wet.

"I heard you crying, are you alright?"

"I'm not crying!" Brittany stared at her wife's back.

"You're sure?"

"Yeah yeah I had shampoo in my eyes!"

"You're not shampooing your hair Santana..."

"I meant soap!"

"San, come here."

"Why?..."

"Come here please." Santana turned the water off once she got rid of all the soap on her and got out of the shower.

"Why are you crying, honey?"

"I'm not crying, I had soap in my eyes, I told ya."

"Stop lying, talk to me."

"I'm not! Promise I'm not!"

"Your eyes are red and puffy, you're snuffling so please stop bullshitting me and tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing Britt! I had soap in my eyes! Really!"

"So this is how it's gonna be now, you sneaking around to cry and me pretending not to see you? This is what I'm supposed to do?" Santana turned around to get ready and do her makeup in complete silence. Brittany just stared at her perplexed.

"You're right Santana, go ahead and cry at 7 in the morning everyday, put your mascara on and don't forget to put your concealer on your dark circles, maybe hiding things will help you deal better with things than talking to you wife who loves you." Brittany said coldly.

"What's your problem today, seriously?"

"My problem is all this hiding, do you really think I don't hear you cry at night when you think I'm sleeping? You don't cry all day long, that's when you pretend you're fine Santana, and you refuse my help! I am _not _giving up on you, I'm not pretending you don't need help when you actually do and I'm not letting you tell me otherwise!"

"Can't you fucking understand it's hard for me? Can't you give me a break, I need a fucking break! I'm tired of you always on my back! Why are you so hard on me, all the time!"

"Oh so I should just be oh so sweet and comforting and let drown yourself in your sorrow while pretending I don't notice? Do you really think it'd help?"

"At least I'd have some peace."

"But I'm doing it for you Santana, don't you get it? I hate pushing you like that but I'm doing it for you! I don't want Sophia to remember her mom sad and crying all the time, I want happiness for both of you all the time!"

"Don't you dare include her in that mess..."

"I have to! You are not trying anymore and it's just getting worse and worse, this is the memory you want her to have of her first years? The lie of a fake happiness that you're presenting as truth? Puffy eyes in her first birthday pictures?" Santana didn't say anything anymore. "Really, this is what you want? And all of this because of _Alma_?"

"You can't understand, your grandparents are dead, how could you fucking understand." She exited, taking her clothes to another room and left Brittany in the middle of the bathroom, puzzled by her unfairness and denial. She heard the front door slammed.

She slowly went to Sophia. She seemed sad too, but then again everything felt suddenly very sad.

"We gotta stick together for mama, baby girl..." She took her off of her bed to snuggle with her. "What could we do to make her happy again, huh? Do you have an idea?" Sophia lazily cuddled her.

"You're right, hugs are good but I don't think it'll be enough right now..." She kissed her head.

* * *

><p><strong>Flashback<strong>.

Santana had rented a private jet, with the only condition that the staff must keep quiet about the destination. She excused herself for a brief moment to go to the restroom. Brittany stared out the window, a deep blue ocean under her feet. A stewardess came to bring their dinner.

"Tell me where we're going..." Brittany whispered happily.

"I can't tell you Ma'am, your spouse made it very clear I'd lose my job if any information gets leaked." She joked with a smile. Brittany didn't know if she was serious or not, those kinds of threats were very Santana-like.

"Just a hint then!" Brittany smirked, filled with hope.

"Brittany, get off of this poor girl's back, I paid her double so she shuts it." Santana came back, laughing. The stewardess left giggling.

"Can you at least tell me how long the flight will last again?"

"We should be landing in an hour I think." Santana said with a soft smile.

"Thank god! I love travelling but long flights are so tiring..."

"Don't worry, we'll get plenty of sweet rest."

They ate quietly, Brittany's heart burning in anticipation, Santana hoping she'd like what she planned. They shared curious looks, soft giggles. Brittany kept brooding about what Santana made her pack, what kind of clues it could give. The fact is the brunette insisted that she should only take what she needed and they'd shop for the rest. She got she wasn't joking when she saw Santana's only luggage, a small brown leather suitcase for her outfits, another bag for the travel necessities and her purse. For two weeks, it just felt insane.

Once they were out of the airplane, Brittany stared around and discovered a private airport surrounded by countryside, a car waiting for them in the deep dark night.

"Where the hell are we...?"

"You'll maybe get it during the car ride, honey!" Santana gleefully said stepping off the last steps of the plane while their luggage was put in the car.

"You'll be the death of me, Santana..." They headed to the car.

"I hope so." She smirked and gestured Brittany to get in the opened car.

While they were being driven, Brittany stared out the window desperately trying to find some clues. It was so dark she couldn't really understand the signs along the road through the tinted windows, and all she managed to see were fields all around.

"We got the same idea... Fields, fields, and fields again." She giggled.

"Not exactly." Santana wished they'd get there really soon, it was so hard not to tell her and see her frustrated smiles and nervous looks.

They passed through small cities, the streetlights hovered in the air like sweet bubbles of fire.

"I get we're in Europe..." Brittany stated watching at the old houses all around and the tiny streets. "But I can't figure which country... Are we in the suburbs of somewhere?"

"We are." Santana softly said. She noticed a big sign she didn't want Brittany to see, all of a sudden she bent and kissed her. Brittany closed her eyes and let her lips wander over Santana's. She had a hard time realizing these days that she could now say these generous and loving lips were hers.

"Are you creating a diversion?" Brittany giggled. "Very sweet one, I must admit..."

The lights all around intensified and the car entered a new kind of city. The streetlights were bell-shaped and ornate; the buildings were almost all in white stone, railings at every floor, and a river cut the city in half, lined by tall trees. Brittany opened her window to see better. Boats were floating on the water, all crowded with couples having diner in the dim night light. Young laughing people passed by them on their bikes. They came by a huge cathedral set on an island that started to ring midnight.

"We're in Paris!"

"Welcome to the country of love, honey." Brittany squeezed her hand and she saw her plan worked just fine. Brittany wasn't the "holidays at playa" kind of girl. She loved travelling far, discovering cities, new cultures, foreign food, meeting people different from herself. It was diversity and it was all Brittany was passionate about.

They kept driving in the city and Brittany stared out the window. They passed by the Eiffel Tower covered in sweet light. It was so high Brittany had to bend by the window to see the top.

"This is so beautiful..." She whispered. Santana kept looking at her, not wanting to miss any of her wife's happiness.

...

Brittany woke up in an empty bed. The sun was very high in the sky, and its rays warmed her skin through the open window. She looked around, the very chic suite filled with wooden furniture was shiny, their suitcases were wide open but no Santana. She sat in the bed, and peeked at the window. From the balcony that blocked her sight, she heard kids playing, wind blowing in the trees, it felt like a lovely routine was happening outside. She rubbed her eyes; she tried to get rid of her sleepiness.

Santana pushed a door open with her hip, carrying a tray with their breakfast.

"Hey..." She tiptoed and put it on the large bedside cabinet. She slipped under the sheets and cuddled against her wife's bare body.

"Hey." Brittany smiled. She pushed Santana's bathrobe so she could kiss her neck and shoulder. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon, honey." Brittany giggled.

"I love waking up after a wild night of passion in Paris." She paused and chuckled. "I don't think I can get used to saying that!"

"That's great 'cause I'm planning on making you say it every morning for the next two weeks." She bent over top of Brittany so she could reach a croissant on the tray.

"Hello..." Brittany said with a deep voice and let her hands wander lovingly over the brunette against her. "So..." She started whispering against her ear. "What are we going to do here?"

"I was thinking that... We could eat this delicious breakfast so I can get some energy back to make love to you again, then maybe..." She took another bite. "We could go shop for a wonderful dress for my wonderful new wife so we can go for dinner in those boats on the Seine. How does that sound, _mon amour_?"

"It sounds amazing when you say it." She leaned over to kiss her.

"_Mon amour..._" She put her croissant down and kissed her softly, grabbing her lips between hers, taking time to put all her tenderness and heart into it. Brittany pushed her bathrobe making it fall from Santana's shoulders and brought her down with it. She made her fully lean on the bed, and covered her with kisses. "I'm a little hot; I should get rid of this..."

Santana giggled and took off her bathrobe. Brittany straddled her when she was done. She softly caressed her under her breast, on her side, placed kisses from her neck to her hand, all along her arm.

With the cool breeze from the open window on her back, the sounds of happiness outside, her wife smiling ear to ear right under her, Brittany couldn't remember any moment when life has been that sweet to her.

"How do you say 'I love you' in French?" She whispered.

"_Je t'aime_."

"Me too... Very much so." They disappeared under the sheets in a storm of kisses and cuddles.

...

Brittany loved Paris. Every morning was sweeter than the last, every dinner filled with even more mythical romanticism and they created a small routine of tender love and burning passion.

She couldn't get enough of the city, museums, art galleries, and restaurants on the sidewalks, bike rides; she wanted to do it all. But her favorite, her very favorite, was to wake up and go take their breakfast at a café and plan the day to come. Brittany drank her coffee with milk, Santana her coffee black and they played footsie under the table while discussing where they'd go next. Santana would finish drinking her coffee quicker and she'd read the newspapers while Brittany would look at her lovingly.

"Oh! They say they opened a park yesterday, there's one of the most beautiful fountains of Paris and you can lie in the grass around, we should have a picnic there! What do you think?" Santana read the papers to Brittany every morning.

"Do we need to take a cab to get there?"

"I don't think so; I think it's quite close actually. We should walk there, it's along the Seine, it could be nice..." Brittany finished her coffee right away.

"I'm ready!" Santana looked up from her papers, surprised. She laughed at Brittany's enthusiasm. It was the same every morning but she just couldn't get enough.

They paid and slowly started their stroll. They walked towards the quays in the late morning atmosphere. They walked hand in hand, enjoying the sun on the river and people laughing feet in the water. The sun rose high in the sky, they put their sunglasses on. Under a tree, a jazz band was playing and they stopped to listen. Brittany held Santana from behind, encircling her in a protective embrace as they enjoyed the voice of a black singer and a trumpet.

"She sings marvelously." Santana whispered, lost in this pure moment of delight, in the sun, in Paris, with this music all around, and most of all in her lovers' arms. The singer had this deep voice Santana loved, the kind that spoke directly to her heart. She started to hum the song and Brittany kissed her cheek. The song ended and the group said goodbye to all their listeners. Santana gave them a little money, and they kept going.

They found the park and were far from disappointed. It was really intimate, huge trees lined the fountain, ornate with large sculptures, and lots of chairs were there for people so they could sit and enjoy the place. They took two seats and rested their feet on the fountain's edge, offering their faces to the sun peacefully. They nodded off, holding hands in the emptiness between their chairs, taking some rest from the sleepless nights.

Some children played in the grass close to Santana woke her. She didn't understand what they were saying, but she loved watching them running around the large fountain and giving the ducks some bread. A little boy threw water at another girl skirt, she started to cry and ran to her nanny.

Santana chuckled and looked back at Brittany. With her sunglasses on, she kicked off her shoes while sleeping so her feet could be in the sun too. Santana raised their hands and caressed Brittany's skin with her lips before putting a light kiss on it. She kept watching the children in complete silence, the way they laughed, the way they fooled around, the pokes, and the games they played on the grass.

Brittany squeezed her hand.

"God, that nap was glorious..." Brittany woke up and stretched without letting go of her wife's hand. Santana acknowledged her with a smile.

A ball ran to Santana's feet and a very blond boy hurried to get it back. She picked it up with her free hand to give it back.

"_Pardon Madame!_"

"It's alright!" And the boy disappeared.

"Pardon Madame..." Brittany imitated the little boy's accent and Santana laughed. "Those Frenchies, they're very polite!" Santana couldn't take her eyes off of the children.

"Britt, I..." She started but paused as quick.

"Tell me." Brittany stood up and took her chair closer to Santana's so they could be shoulder to shoulder. Santana locked their eyes.

"I want children. I know we just got married but I think we're ready. And I want some like-"

"Okay." Brittany simply said.

"Okay? I mean, I'd like you to give me children..."

"Oh. Well..."

"Look at these kids with their shiny blond hair fooling around; I want some like that..."

"Do you think we could copy/paste them?"

Santana poked her, chuckling. "I'm serious Britt!"

"I know, all right! So you want me to get knocked up... Why me?"

"I don't know..." She sighed. "I've never thought about it any other way. I don't know... You're so sweet and cuddly... To see your belly fill out and be able to take care of you, I want that, I always did. But right now, I... like... fiercely want it." Her voice was so small it filled Brittany's heart with tenderness. "You'd be so perfect for it. But if you don't feel ready, I'd understand, I mean, we can talk about it and then you decide..." Brittany took off her sunglasses so Santana could see her expression perfectly.

"I want children too Santana, I don't care about who carries them if at the end we have children." She smiled at all the hope shining through the brunette's eyes. "If it's important to you, then I'll do it."

"You really mean it?"

"I do, love, I really do." She placed a kiss in her hair. "Can we just wait to get back home to start trying?" They chuckled and let their minds wander peacefully over their dreams as they watched the children in silence. Someday, a child like that would be their very own.

* * *

><p>Many many many thanks to my awesome Beta Jen !<p>

Also, I have to thank you all for sending so many great suggestions or chatting with me and giving me very good ideas to develop the plot. You guys are amazing :)


	13. Chapter 13

Kisses tasted like heaven. Their skin, soft and delicate, had no equal on earth; silky touches exhilarating their mind. Every caress was tenderer than the last, love flowed down their veins, burning, exciting their every heartbeat. The warm mist between them promised surrender, mind-blowing desire. Only the rapturous expressions on their features mattered, blazing breaths they exhaled, the thrilled rhythm of their tangled bodies. Their intertwined legs clasped their both hands in the sweet heat. Their eyes got lost in each other looks, their quivering lips singing desire, close to release.

Feeling Santana moving along the waves of pending pleasure in her arms, her one and only love drifting along, was Brittany's best gift. Hours they spent like this, and she couldn't get used to it, ever. It was always getting better, sweeter, more intimate; she discovered new emotions, new moans tingling in her ears. When Brittany closed her eyes, she had tattooed under her eyelids nameless colors, bright and shiny, the abstract image her free mind created to picture Santana.

The impetuous Santana always felt so small in her embrace. Once she touched her lover's skin, she felt her evil nature vanish in a sweet smoke, releasing a storm of tenderness and burning passion. Brittany was the air fueling the fire of her heart, devastating all mad feelings life had left behind, sorrows and sadness. The inferno glazing her lips and body, every place Brittany caressed, filled her soul for the space of a moment when she wasn't herself anymore but the sole creation of their two entwined bodies.

No word were spoken, they only talked with moans and breaths in the crook of each other's neck. Brittany slightly pushed Santana on her back, topping her. She grabbed Santana's busy hands and stopped their pace for a brief second, raising their handhold up Santana's head, on the pillows. She slid her thigh between Santana's and watched her with happiness. Her rosy cheeks through the tanned skin, the light dew on her hairline. She printed this image in her mind, she'd remember it when she was far from Santana, for few seconds, for hours, she'd dream about it over and over again.

She felt her haste, her thighs trying to get the rhythm back and her moans impatiently becoming louder. Brittany didn't want to let go of her hands, she wanted to be in charge of her lover's pleasure. She rubbed her skin against the Latina's clit, more firmly, more quickly. Santana buried her head back in the pillows and offered her long sweaty neck to be kissed. Brittany gazed at her soft muscles, her jaw, tensing and releasing with her every moan. She freed her hands, wandered down her arms, touching her like she were a delicate treasure. The side of her breast, the curves of her hips. She parted her thighs wider so she could fully rest in between, her fingers starting new ministrations as Santana's neck was suddenly assaulted with wet kisses.

Santana hurriedly wrapped her legs around her. She wanted to feel her so very close, to squeeze her while her release burnt harder. Brittany's whole body wedged her against the mattress; she felt Brittany tried to contain her fire in this very small space, guiding her in wildest delights. It lightened her mind so much to abandon herself at Brittany's mercy; it was one of her greatest happiness so she concentrated with all her heart, welcoming her orgasm following Brittany's quiet orders.

Brittany's messy hair got immediately grabbed at the back of her head, her back's skin got ripped by fierce short nails, holding onto an unprecedented orgasm. Erratic heavy breaths assaulted her hearing, trembling thighs clasped her stronger and stronger, wild movements sometimes getting in the way of their pace. She felt the hold loosen a bit, so she thrust fingers in. She tried to reduce the very small space between them to nothing, melding their bodies together so Santana would have no other choice but to express herself than let her only mind boil instead of a wild rhythm of moves, as they were used to.

Steady thrusts enraptured her already drunk with happiness body. She could only hold Brittany tighter; she could only spread her legs wider out of her lover's firm embrace, so she did, desperately. She felt waves of burning passion rolling over her, again and again, to let an unexpected second explode blow all over her body. Brittany withdrew her fingers and steadied her hand flat against the tanned abdomen as Santana couldn't stop moaning and trembling. The breaths died tenderly.

Some quiet minutes after, Brittany softly loosened their embrace, their skin matted with warmth and sweat. She fondled her wife's shaking curves, stopped by clammy hands. Santana was too sensitive everywhere; any strokes were now painfully exquisite as the last waves of pleasure flowed over her body. She let go of her fierce concentration, opening her eyes only to see Brittany gracing the delicate skin of her jaw with feather light kisses. A huge grin appeared on her face, immediately shared by the blonde.

"Good morning." Brittany happily whispered. Santana softly chuckled, a laugh coming from inside of her she couldn't hold back.

"Morning love." She sang.

Brittany snuggled against Santana, resting her head on her breast as minutes went by. They heard a tiny cry from the ajar door. Brittany hauled herself up to see the alarm clock on the bedside cabinet.

"9:15. As regular as a clockwork." Brittany joked. It was Santana's turn to go this morning so she tried to get up but she was still feverish.. "Stay here, I'm going." She kissed her softly and stood up, grabbed her bathrobe off the door as graciously as a ballerina and exited with a smirk.

"_Hello... good morning sweetheart!_" She heard Brittany open the door.

Santana grabbed the messy sheet and pulled it up over her. She tidied her hair while sitting up, a large smile stuck on her face.

They had disagreements lately, mostly because of Alma and the sadness it implied. Sometimes, Brittany felt she didn't know how to talk to her anymore and Santana didn't know what to say either. They spent dinners looking at each other speechless because there was nothing left to say. Some bitter moments replaced jokes they used to make.

However in their intimacy, where no words were needed, their love was getting even stronger. It was a strange balance but it was a balance that helped her. Santana gained some confidence in regards to her own feelings. Brittany seemed to be angry at her, she even seemed to despise the whole situation but she knew once they were in each other arms, they were still as strong as ever, maybe even more. Yes, Brittany was really hard with her. She confronted her more often - severely. But when she was making love to her, her tenderness, her tenacity to make her reach the greatest pleasure convinced Santana she was that hard to help her cope, actually.

She finally powered through her body tired from love. She grabbed off the ground the shirt she was wearing before Brittany sweetly woke her up this morning. She put it on, checked herself in the mirror and giggled lovingly at the rosy cheeks. She hummed cheerfully as she went to Sophia's room, where Brittany was playing with the baby who was slowly waking up in her bed.

She cuddled Brittany from behind, crossed her arms around her waist, and rested her head on her shoulder. She peeked at Sophia.

"She found new food to eat." Brittany joked, commenting on Sophia sucking on her toes. They stayed babbling with Sophia in perfect harmony for awhile.

"I'm gonna make some coffee." Santana softly said, placing a kiss on Brittany's cheek and dancing her way out, humming again. Brittany watched her exit happily. Seeing her like that was a really nice promise for better days. At least today would be a good day.

...

The day started peacefully and they decided to go out for a walk with a happy Sophia in her stroller. Late May was really warm, the weather was ideal to walk Sophia, not too hot, not too cold. Nature blossomed all around, Brittany liked those kind of details. She showed her daughter every colorful flower, every bird playing on the ground, and Sophia paid a lot of attention each time.

They stopped at a bench to give Sophia her afternoon bottle. On Brittany's lap, she ate calmly gazing at her mommy's big blue eyes and blond hair glowing in the sun. A hot-dogs seller had set his cart on the other side of the alley, and the smell pleased Santana.

"I'm kinda hungry too... I'll just grab something over there, do you want one?" Santana asked softly with a smile and pointed to the shop.

"It's okay." Brittany answered lost in her baby's blue eyes.

Santana grabbed the wallet she had stuffed in the stroller for their walk and went to order what seemed like a wonderfully delicious hot-dog. The nice man made her one just the way she liked it and she walked her way back nibbling on it. She wandered around the alleys watching people around, children running around her, families, people jogging. They all enjoyed the same sunny day of spring. This was a beautiful day. She peeked at her wife and child, they were still very busy. She figured she could take another alley so she could gaze a bit more at this wonderful day on her own.

She passed by some nannies, chatting all together around strollers and feeding babies too.

"_Consuela went back to Mexico for the holidays but she'll be busy, she got a new child to take care of-_" One of the nannies explained to another.

"_Nanny! Nanny! I fell and I hurt my hand!_" A little girl came running, half-crying.

"_It's alright baby, show me._" She took the little girl's hand and watched. "_That's nothing! Look,_" She kissed where she was hurt, "_Magic kiss, it's all gone!_" It made Santana smile. The little girl kept pouting so the nanny made her sit on her lap and cuddled her a bit. "_What about we sing a song? Will it make you feel better?_"

"_Yes!_" The little girl chanted and the nannies laughed.

"_Okay. Show me your hands! La linda manita que tiene el bebe..._" The nannies started to sing and the little girl made her hands twirl and her face became brighter.

Santana's throat tightened. Right away, she pictured Alma singing the exact same song to Sophia a few months ago. Her heart started to break, she tried to cope and kept going. She tried to forget about it, push back the awful thoughts ruining this day but it was already too late. She came back staring at her feet and ate her hot-dog with no word or glance for Brittany.

"Santana?" Brittany put the empty bottle back in the stroller and had Sophia sit on her lap. "San, you alright?"

"Yeah." She whispered sadly, avoiding Brittany's look staring at her food.

Brittany just didn't get it, she was perfectly fine five minutes ago, she was all smiles and happy and now she seemed about to cry. She looked around and spotted the Latino nannies singing Alma's lullaby. She sighed. She just stroked Santana's thighs as she tried to hold back the tears. It was pointless to try anything else, she failed each time. Brittany wasn't good enough; nothing was good enough to make her happy.

She had considered it might have been baby blues more than Alma. After all, she made it through once, why was she as devastated, always on the edge of crying. She even considered that she herself might have done something wrong. But nothing came up, they hadn't fought about anything other than Alma, she loved and enjoyed their daughter with the very little happiness she had. Brittany understood what Jorge and Gloria had endured when she had left her years ago. The mystery of her sadness. How useless she made people feel when nobody could find anything to cheer her up.

So whatever. She just stroked her thigh.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_**.**

"I just can't believe we're leaving already..." Brittany pouted. They were taking their last breakfast at one of the airport's cafés, a bit early for their flight back home. Santana finished her coffee, amused at her wife's childish expression.

"We can come back for holidays; you know that, don't you?"

"Yeah I know but it won't be the same..." She flipped through the pictures on her camera. "Look how happy we look! It almost makes me blind!" She showed her a picture from when they took one of those boats on the river. Santana laughed.

"I tried to stuff this boat in my luggage but the airport's staff told me the anchor was too heavy." She joked as she put down her now empty cup. "We grab magazines before we head out?" Brittany nodded and she stuffed her camera in her bag. She took an apple off her tray and they left.

Crunching on her apple, Brittany rummaged through several magazines and tabloids. Absorbed by her search, she bumped into a teenage girl.

"Sorry!" She raised her hand to hold the girl if she was falling because of her. The girl's eyes went wide, she held her breath and hardly gripped her magazines.

"Oh my god." The girl spat out shocked.

"Brittany's fine but if you want to call me God, I don't mean to be rude..." She didn't realize the girl recognized her so she joked happily. The girl had no words so she looked back and forth between her tabloid cover and Brittany.

"Oh my god, oh my god..." She whispered. Finally getting that the girl's reaction might be linked to something in the papers, she tried to peek at it.

"Can I...?" She gestured for the girl to lend her the magazine for a second, which she did excitedly.

On the cover was a huge picture of Santana and Brittany both lovingly sharing a dinner at a restaurant's terrace. Brittany chuckled at the title right under.

"_Lovebirds loving-it-up in Paris!"_

"Hold on a second." She told the girl with a smile and walked a few steps to reach Santana. "Hey! They caught us!" She whispered happily while Santana was reading another magazine, all incognito with her sunglasses.

"What?" She turned around and smiled at the fan.

"Look!... That was a very short skirt you were wearing that night..." Santana laughed as the girl witnessed her idol in front of her basically flirting with her supposedly new wife.

"Shhh," She shyly commented Brittany's flirt. "What do they say?" Brittany looked for the right page.

_HONEYMOON, BABY!  
><em>_Sources say the two tied the knot with a romantic and personal ceremony attended by friends and family only. We're still looking for confirmation but the mystery remains perfectly hidden. The very discreet Santana seemed to successfully hide her love interest from us. So, married or not? They still make a cute couple!_

_Anyway, they were spotted taking sweet walks and dining in nice restaurants in the city of love, under a cloudless sky of stars. Santana Lopez, whipped much?"_

"They're funny!" Santana laughed.

"Whipped much?" Brittany poked her with her hip. She closed the magazine and went to give it back to the fan, resigned to silence and petrified in the awesomeness of the moment.

"Is... is it tr- true?" The fan mumbled.

"The question is, do you think it is?" Brittany played. "Like on a scale from 1 to 10, how much?"

She made Santana laugh. She took off her sunglasses, grabbed the magazines she chose and came by Brittany and the fan. The fan was just freaking out, unsure of what she was supposed to say.

"Uh... 5 I gu-... guess."

"She says 5, Santana." Brittany said casually crunching on her apple.

"You're being stingy, young lady." Santana commented with a fake sad face.

"5 and a hal-" The girl peeked at their hands and saw the weddings rings. "Sweet baby jesus! 10, I say 10!" Brittany and Santana burst into laughter at the girl's reaction.

"Do you want us to sign your magazine?" Santana softly asked. She was a fan like any other, but she was the first of her new life, she had something special. She wanted to give her something back. The girl frantically nodded and she handed over her magazine again. Santana looked for a pen in her bag and signed it. Santana gave Brittany the magazine.

"What? Me too?"

"I think this pretty girl kind of wants you too..." Santana kidded as the girl kept nodding like crazy.

"Okay... Where do I sign? Oh wait, I'm gonna sign on your boobs." With a smirk, she signed the picture and Santana put her hand on her face, laughing at her wife's funny behavior. Brittany gave the magazine back to the mesmerized fan.

"Mia! What are you doing, we're gonna miss our flight, come over here!" The fan's mom shouted as she came by her. "I'm sorry if my daughter's bothering you..." She said to the couple. "What are you doing, leave them in peace!"

"It's alright, don't worry!" Santana said happily. "Have a nice flight!" Brittany and Santana said in unison as the speechless fan waved at them, taken away by her mom.

"B-Bye!" The fan shouted back. "_Mom! It was Santana Lopez!_ _San-Ta-Na Lo-Pez_ !" They chuckled as Mom and daughter moved away.

"Our first married autograph!" Brittany laughed and gave her a peck.

...

Nine hours later, two very tired brides exited their flight. Hand in hand, they followed their taxi driver with their luggage through the airport. Paparazzi were waiting for them outside ready to flash anytime. The doors opened and flashes came from everywhere. Santana naturally hid her face with her free hand without letting go of Brittany's hold. On their way to the car, they heard some paparazzi applaud. She raised her head and saw Brittany giggling.

"_Long live the newlyweds!_" They heard through the applauding some men were kidding and congratulating them.

Santana looked at the paparazzi and recognized some familiar faces. Men that followed her over the past ten years, men that did their jobs and somehow ended in her routine. She even knew some of their names, not like friends or enemies, just some random acquaintances. They were business acquaintances, like those distant cousins you have to deal with at big families reunions. She saw some of them put away their cameras to applaud more easily once they got their picture. She took that as a sign of respect, that the frenzy left room for understanding.

"Hold on two seconds honey." She let go of Brittany and went to meet them, thank them.

"Santana, you gotta sell the wedding pictures."

"Will you let me enjoy my break in privacy if I do?"

"I'll lock my camera in a vault." Richard, one of the hardest paparazzi said happily.

"I got your word then?" She offered her hand and the guy shook it.

"I'll make sure everybody gets it."

"Thanks Richard." With a large grin, she rushed half dancing her way back to the car in which her wife was waiting. She closed the door chuckling.

"What did you tell them?"

"I sort of negotiated some peace for wedding pictures, hope you don't mind..."

"You mean show the world how much I love you? How could I mind that?" The blonde grinned.

...

"I must say, it's nice to finally meet you both. Your father told me a lot about you, Mrs. Lopez." Ferguson said sitting at her desk after welcoming the happy couple into her office.

"Please, call me Santana."

"And Brittany." The blonde added softly as they sat too.

'I had been quite surprised you chose me as your obstetrician."

"We asked Jorge which obstetricians he trusted and you were the only woman on the list." Brittany smiled ear to ear. "I feel more comfortable with a woman."

"So you'll be the one carrying."

"That's right." She answered happily. Santana couldn't smile wider. She grabbed the blonde's hands to hold them so very tight.

"Have you already discussed the way you want to proceed? Or you're looking for information first?"

"Well," Brittany spoke for both. "We know the main techniques but we mostly discussed about what it would imply for the child more than the technique actually... We want it to remain between us."

"So no friend donor? We keep it anonymous?"

"That's right. We think it's better if it just concerns the two of us."

"That's a point of view. So we got that clear, what else... We have to talk about the technique however."

"What's the most efficient?" Santana said with all her energy.

"Alright." Ferguson chuckled. "IVF is still what works the best. But it requires some procedures that might be a little heavy. We usually recommend trying a few inseminations before IVF. It's easier to take for the woman and anyhow if it doesn't work, we still have IVF."

"How many inseminations and how well does it work?"

"Depending on your future tests results, I'd say between 20 and 30% success rate. We try 3 or 4 times before considering IVF. At least it's a goal we keep so you don't lose motivation if the inseminations don't work. Disappointment is the worst enemy of procreation. We have to find the technique you feel comfortable with, Brittany. It can take a little time to succeed so you really have to choose what is the most comfortable for you regardless of the success levels."

"I... Well, if I get inseminated first, at least I know it'd have at least 70% chance of it not working so I guess I'd have less pressure than an IVF..." She looked at Santana, lost in her thoughts. "No need to rush I guess..."

"It's all up to you, Britt." Santana said softly, stroking her hand.

"I'd like that, I think..."

"It's what I think is the best too, from a doctor's point of view. It's what is less demanding on your body."

"Yeah, it's decided. I want that." Brittany said, fully convinced.

"Great." Ferguson checked boxes on the new file for her paperwork. "So, sperm bank?"

"God, they should find another name to call that." Santana softly laughed, and that lightened a bit the tense atmosphere.

"I have patients, another couple of lesbians that nicknamed it the 'Milky Industry'..."

"That's awful!" Brittany started, giggling. "Now all I can think of is that I'm gonna get inseminated by a bottle of strawberry yogurt..." Santana laughed.

"Yeah, let's go for the Milky Industry..." The brunette confirmed.

"I'll send you the papers so you can think about what features you're looking for, several tests you have to do, and when you're ready, both of you, make another appointment. How does that sound?"

"Good!" Brittany and Santana happily exclaimed.

Ferguson gave them some papers to go through and said goodbye. Once the door closed behind them, they both took a deep breath. Santana giggled happily.

"I swear if Dannon hires me to shoot a commercial, I'll be traumatized. Like... for life."

"Light & Fit, blueberry on top!" Santana said with a perfect commercial voice.

"Stop it!" Brittany poked her in the ribs, and Santana burst into laughter.

* * *

><p>Thanks to my beta Jen :) !<p>

Tell me what you think !


	14. Chapter 14

Brittany heard a knock on her cutting-room door.

"Come in!" She turned around to see who it was. "Is this studio your second home, Annette?" Brittany joked.

"Not my fault if American directors are better than Germans! You have a minute?"

"Yeah, yeah, talk to me." The actress sat by Brittany.

"I sort of had an idea for a script; I wanted to know if you'd be in?"

"I'm trying to take things slow right now, you know with my baby girl," She said with a proud smile, "But tell me anyway!"

"It's a family story actually... I'd like to adapt it for the screen. I think you're the only director I trust enough for that." Brittany listened carefully. "Hm.. Yeah, so... One of my grand-grandaunts back in Germany had a deaf son during the First World War I wanted to adapt their story."

"Wow Annette, that's... tough."

"I know it's not your type of script but I figured since you know, you're a mother now, you'd get it."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm intrigued! But that's tough, even more if it's personal. I mean, why don't you try to shoot it on your own? It might be your chance to direct your first movie."

"That's the point. I don't want to. I want to take my grandaunt's part but I don't want to direct it. I need a new eye to take the story to another level. I feel it might be too cryptic if I direct it with my own emotions."

"It makes sense... But what are the broad lines? Basically?"

"She got pregnant before the war started and when her son grew up, she found out he was deaf. And well, those kind of children during the war were left for dead, you know. She fought to understand him and not just leave him as cannon fodder..."

"That's horrible...!"

"Yeah, they made it through the first war, but her son didn't survive the second war. He'd been called by the army and actually ended up as cannon fodder-"

"Oh my god!"

"Then she created schools for deaf children. And I kind of want to rewrite the story. I want to get justice for them... I want to save him." Annette sighed.

"That's heartbreaking Annette..." Brittany said her hand on her heart.

"Yeah. That's why I want you to help me on that one. I know you'll focus on the emotional part, I know it'd feel right with you."

"First of all, I'm really flattered that you'd lend me such an intimate story... I'll have to think about it. I don't know if I have the guts for that but that's... one hell of a story...For sure."

"Yeah of course, take your time to think about it. I want it done perfectly, I don't want to rush. If it'd take ten years to shoot it, then it'll take ten years."

"I get it... Let's meet in few days, to discuss it.. You're available?"

"Anytime! I'm only here to dub a Disney movie, so..." She said with a smile. "Not really busy."

"Disney movies, deaf children during World Wars... Tell me about paradoxes Annette!" Brittany laughed.

...

"Tomorrow's great!... 10' sounds perfect. See ya then!" Brittany ended her conversation in their kitchen as Santana was playing with Sophia on the living room floor.

"I thought you were off tomorrow." She shouted, hearing Brittany close her phone. "We promised Chloe to take her shopping!"

"I'm just retrieving a script. I'll be home by 11' anyhow."

"A script on a Saturday morning?"

"Yeah, Annette's leaving the country Sunday; I have to fetch it before then."

"Annette... Annette Kaiser?" Santana held her daughter for a second and shot Brittany a skeptical look.

"She has a movie we might work on together." Brittany said casually as she walked over to them.

"Together? You've got to be kidding me Brittany!"

"She came up with a brilliant project; I wasn't going to decline..."

"Please, tell me it's about deporting her far away." Santana spat bitterly.

Brittany giggled, "You're jealous."

"I'm not. I just hate that her perfect thin endless legs are always getting stuck in my business."

"San, you're jealous, admit it." Brittany smiled ear to ear. Considering how rocky they were lately, any tiny proof of love was good enough to be enjoyed.

"She hit on you for years, remember?"

"Don't worry; we're safe on that score. She asked me to work with her especially because I'm a mom. She totally gets it's not a game anymore."

"I hate European chicks..." Santana whispered with anger. Brittany just smiled at her tenderly. "What is it about anyway?"

"Yeah about that, deaf children during the First World War."

Santana started, her eyes went wide, "Why don't we add some lepers, just to make it a little happier?"

"You're not being fair honey, it's an awesome story. You just don't like Annette." Brittany knelt to kiss her wife's hair. Santana puffed. "I have plenty of ideas for the movie. Besides it'll help me explore motherhood, it's fascinating. You wouldn't take that away from me, would you?"

"As long as you don't explore anything else." She commented with a mean tone.

"Really? Really Santana?... It's not because we had better days that I'll run into some other random girls' arms. I thought you knew me better than that."

"It's not you that I don't trust, it's her."

"_What?" _

"She might convince you."

"So you mean I'd be like 'out of sight, out of mind'?"

"That's not what I said Britt, I'm saying that she expects us to fight so she could turn the situation to her advantage."

"Earth to Santana, even if she tried again, what about the fact that I love you and that I'm actually old enough to say no, like I said over the past ten years to any girl or guy that tried?"

"You never know what might happen, I'd rather have you not work with her, it's safer for everyone."

"Okay I have had enough." She stood up and left.

"Where are you going?"

"Sleeping in our guest-room for tonight. Goodnight Santana." Brittany coldly shouted from the corridor.

...

The guest-room bed was horrible, Brittany thought. She tossed and turned all night, she wondered how they could have bought such a bad bed and how she has never been aware of it. Oh right, she never had to sleep in it before. She finally found some sleep, a deep sleep that'd tired her more than anything else.

Santana tiptoed in by the early hours, dark circles from a sleepless night around her eyes, and slid herself under the sheets. She somehow managed to get into her love's arms, bringing Brittany back from her heavy sleep. Still very angry, the blonde withdrew her arms.

"I'm sorry." She pleaded with tired eyes. Brittany cleared her throat as only answer. "I'm sorry I've been mean, it wasn't fair... Sorry..." She skeptically looked at her, trying to read honesty in her apology. In the lack of light, she managed to see Santana's puffy eyes.

"Come here." She opened her arms wide and Santana threw herself in.

The day started filled with bitterness and silence, a sort of emotional hangover that Brittany didn't like at all. Santana, fearing anything she could say might waste her lame apology, remained quiet or only talked about necessities. She cooked their breakfast with repentance, even added a few blueberries on Brittany's pancakes to make her smile. Luckily Sophia was there to babble pretty abstract sounds, to make them laugh while tearing Santana's newspaper apart.

Brittany peeked at the clock.

"Gosh, I'm gonna be late!" She said rushing to finish her coffee.

"Wait, you're going?"

"Of course I'm going; I told you I had no other choice than today."

"But I'm not ready, I can't come with you!" Brittany stared at her perplexed.

"Why would you come, I'm just retrieving the script."

Santana angrily pouted, raging inside.

"It'd take less than an hour, 20 minutes to get to the studio, grab it, 20 to come back." She stuck to her pout. "You said yourself you weren't being fair Santana."

"I wasn't fair not to trust you but I thought it was pretty clear you wouldn't work with her."

"You can't be serious..."

"She'll try to break us up! Don't you see she's already trying!"

"God Santana, I've always been more than clear with her, we're married, we're mothers, what else do you need to be sure about us?"

"But we're already fighting because of her..."

"We're fighting because you are completely out of your mind!" Brittany exploded.

"So you're going to blame me instead of her? She's the one who's messing with us! _You_ are the insane one right now!"

"I don't want to pursue this conversation." Brittany stormed out of the kitchen.

"Don't run away again!" Santana screamed.

Brittany came back raging, "I'm not running away, it's been weeks and I'm enduring your moods every fucking day, but it was fine because I get how shitty you feel about your family, but you're pushing me too far Santana on this one, you crossed the line!"

"What line?"

"By questioning me! How dare you even question my love for you? After all we've been through, after all I have endured for you, I can't believe it's worth nothing to you!" Brittany yelled. "Call me when you open your eyes!" She said, rushing out, slamming the entrance door behind her.

...

Brittany was honking in front of her parent's house. Waiting for Chloe, she looked back and forth between the entrance door and her phone. No text from Santana. She was getting impatient.

Chloe rushed out of the house, slamming the door behind her. She stopped right before Brittany's car, realizing no one was in it but her sister.

"You lost your tribe...? Weird." She said as she sat in Santana's usual passenger seat.

"Yup, it's just me today. Santana's at home."

"She's free and didn't come... Okay, crazy weird! What happened?" Brittany sighed and started the car.

"We had a fight last night and it wasn't really any better this morning."

"Alma again?"

"We just reached another level of depression... Now she's like a jealous freak 'cause I'm doing a movie with an actress that used to hit on me." Chloe laughed.

"She made you sleep on the couch at least?"

"I lost my temper first this time, so guest-room, not the couch."

"Oh shit, that sounds bad!"

"Tell me about it... Seriously, I'm just glad you're straight, you can love girls to death, they still are so fucking jealous for nothing and they assume you're guilty right away."

"Welcome to Lesboland, yay!"

"Yeah, I should go home like that, 'Sweetheart, we're moving from Lesboland to the real world! Pack your bags!' " Brittany chuckled.

"Brilliant I say!" They laughed. "But what are you gonna do though?"

"In theory, wait for a decent apology but I doubt it'll happen in this lifetime... I don't know. I tried everything, like... _everything_. And she refuses to see someone to help her deal with it. Stubborn much... So I don't know. I'm kinda stuck."

"But you can't let her keep being like this."

"I already know that Chloe. Even her parents are as stuck as I am. Maybe even more cause I heard Alma's being a pain in the ass too, so..."

"It sucks..."

"Couldn't have said it better myself..." She sighed sadly. "It's so horrible to see her like this, I feel so helpless you know.. Not being able to help her. But now all we do is fight when we never used to fight, ever. What can be next, Sophia?" She pleaded to herself. "I just don't know how far down she can go and I just don't know how to stop it since she can't find anything to hold on to by herself." Chloe just stared at her sister with a sad expression; she was too young and too overwhelmed to give any useful advice.

"Well, I think it's all because of Alma, I wish she just could run in front of a bus." Chloe spat bitterly.

"Don't say that, she's a bitch but she's still family."

"Still!" Brittany chuckled softly at her sister's tone.

"Don't worry Sis... We'll be fine, we just need to find a way out. She's just sad, it's not her usual self. I don't think she really realizes what she's doing. I can't blame her for that. It happened to me too, remember." She gave her sister a smile. "My savior of a sister." She poked her and put her hand back on the steering wheel.

"Yeah, she needs her own Chloe aka SuperSaviorGurrrl."

"Right!" Brittany smiled. "I thought I'd be the one to rescue her. It's just sad that I'm not, apparently."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

In Santana's studio hall, a sort of waiting room was setup. There were always people there, chilling after a recording session, waiting for others to arrive. Santana loved to see people meeting there; it was one of her favorite places in the Studio.

She loved her beloved building and it very quickly became the place to be. Her friends from the industry came over often to relax there, not even pretending to come to work. They all enjoyed coffee or tea, and sometimes, when most of the people were gone, Santana would bring out a bottle of wine to celebrate with friends another happy and productive day.

She wandered by, after a recording session with a young singer she heard about online, a little bit sooner than expected. As usual, she peeked at all the people chatting together hanging out on the sofas with a sweet smile and reached the front desk. Her assistant threw her magazine in the garbage can and she faked clearing her throat.

"What were you doing Sarah?"

"Checking on the schedule, Mrs Lopez." Santana passed behind the desk and retrieved the magazine. It was open wide on a page with large pictures of Santana and Brittany walking in Paris and their wedding pictures.

"I thought I was clear when I said no tabloids in here." The embarrassed assistant flushed. "How many times should I repeat it? Can I know what's so fascinating that you have to sneak behind my back?" Santana asked softly yet firmly.

"I...m sorry."

"Yeah, you should be." Santana kind of avoided tabloids since they came back from the honeymoon. She flipped through the article, and with a sweet smile, she peeked at the wedding pictures and the love flowing from them. Hearts had been added all around the pictures, angels and other cheesy patterns she icily hated but it was always so good to see them together with their happy faces, the beautiful dresses and the sunshine gracing everything. She peeked at the blurry paparazzi pictures of them hanging in Paris, pictures that'd be far from interesting if they weren't famous. Santana got that people could like photo-shoots, it was art, but paparazzi pictures were just not interesting at all. But personally, it was kind of fun to see them hanging around like that again, it brought her back to the fresh happy memories of their honeymoon.

"So, what's your excuse this time?" She didn't want to fight; she was just so disappointed she had lost all interest in yelling. Sarah went too far twice; first Santana found her looking in her personal files pretending she lost a demo, second she brought some of her friends over, basically to meet Santana. Not to mention the tabloids she always saw in her bag or hidden in her desk. Twice she made her felt like an animal in a zoo, at her own place of business. So Santana had enough of Sarah, the second assistant she'd hired since she opened the Studio, and Sarah did what the previous one did too. Santana was getting really annoyed not to be able to find someone great for the job.

"But it's fascinating to work for the most famous lesbian of our generation, I feel like I'm part of something!"

"You mean 'something' like... my life?"

"But you're an icon!"

"But you're my employee. You can creep all you want back home, but you're here to work, music-related. Not privacy-related." She stared at her really disappointed, "This is why you applied for this job? To make yourself part of my life?"

"No, I love my job! This is the place to be, it's a huge opportunity in my career!"

"But why are you here? None of your excuses ever included music, which is what you've been hired for. This should be your priority. Nothing else than music should matter while you're on the clock; especially not my wedding pictures. It's the third time Sarah. You know what that means?" She said calmly.

"Please don't fire me! I really need this job..."

"I'm sorry but I can't keep someone as unprofessional as you are. Tomorrow will be your last day, so you can finish all you've been working on and grab your stuff. You can leave now for today."

"Please..."

"You signed a very specific contract with confidentiality and privacy-related clauses and you broke them, three times. I think I've been kind enough to you Sarah. I gave you a chance and you blew it. So don't make a scene or you'll ruin your career for sure."

...

_**From Santana  
><strong>__To Brittany_

"_Stuck with applications, I'm leaving asap. Love you my sweet soon-to-be-mama ;)_"

_**From Brittany  
><strong>__To Santana_

"_Rush or my eggs will burn! Luv u 2 xx"_

"It's Santana, she'll be a bit late. She's like super busy since she started the studio." Brittany told Sam, closing her phone. They just arrived separately at a restaurant to have dinner together, like they talked about at the wedding reception.

"Anyway, let's go get a drink before she gets here!" Sam nodded and showed her the way to the bar.

"How the studio's doing?"

"Fine! Except that she had to fire her assistant last week so it's pretty off the hook but we didn't expect it to be that successful so soon actually. A lot of talented young singers came over once she opened it, it was crazy!"

"But you manage to still see each other?"

"Yes, it's fine you know, I don't need to travel anymore, neither does she. We don't have any pressure so that's cool." They got to the bar and ordered a few drink. "Enough about us! Tell me about you, we have so much to catch up on!"

"Oh the simple life of a dentist..."

"Don't be so shy, I heard about your charity!"

"Blaine's, not mine!" He laughed. "Yeah, I love doing that."

"But what do you do there anyway? I thought it was about helping gay kids."

"Actually, it's done so well, he asked me if I'd be willing to explore more backgrounds since you know, what happened in High School."

"Yeah I remember that."

"So we opened a new division, to help homeless children or even any kind of child left on the wrong side of the tracks."

"That's wonderful... What does it consist of exactly?"

"Well, for the youngest, we try to find them a new place for their family or to raise money so they can work things out, and for the teenagers, we try to train them for work they like so they can find a job right away and be proud of what they accomplish by themselves. It's pretty exciting."

"Wow, that's... wow!"

"Actually, I have a trainee at my office who helps me with paper work. It's really cool to help people that way. I mean, I know how it feels like to be young and fucked up, they just feel like shit... I try to make them gain some confidence, to trust life again you know."

"Gosh you make me feel really silly with my dumb movies and lame jokes now..." They laughed.

"You help people laugh, what good would life be without laughing, seriously?"

"Sam Evans, you are a very good man." She chuckled while drinking. "How is it even possible that you are still single..."

"I blame my Sean Connery jokes. They make women run away, like far far away..."

"They don't know what they're missing!"

Santana arrived and they could finally start eating. Sam explained his charity work all over again, fascinating both women. Sam Evans was indeed a very good guy. This handsome man remained very simple and his main goal in life was to help people. He said he liked being a dentist because he was glad when children could laugh with bright smiles. It melted Brittany's heart, Santana way less. The brunette tried to find out why he was single, advising him to be a little less emotional if he wanted to get laid.

Santana explained how wonderful the studio was. She got it renovated and now, several very promising young singers came to record with her. She explained how glad she was she could find something she felt as passionate about as singing. It had seemed risky, especially to Brittany but people had trusted her and the business seemed to just take off on its own. Soon, she had understood she had to create a label more than a recording studio, and both activities were keeping her busy as hell. But it was so invigorating, a feeling she had forgotten a long time ago. Challenge that was what Santana was made for.

Sam had always been surprised that Santana, despite her success, had kept her mind clear and simple. Santana had always loved her bling a little too much; he was quite astounded celebrity hadn't turned her into an awful selfish creature, as it had many others celebrities. Because he knew them for so long, he put all that on Brittany's good influence and once again during this dinner, he saw that Brittany was the pressure valve, regulating all the pressure the singer could bear on her shoulders with her light and easy temper. He got their marriage would succeed because Santana was also why Brittany managed her career so well, providing the stability her colorful fuzzy mind lacked.

Sam was used to meeting many families every week, at his office, for his charity business. He knew how to distinguish between great and bad families, in which the parents were together for good or bad reasons. Kindness and cuddles didn't replace hard work; he really cared about what people could bring, deeply, to each other. That was why he had been so moved to see his friends grow that well together and keep it going through all the storms of life. He knew that no matter what happened, they would always manage to find a way back to each other.

The dinner went along, discussions wandering between projects and High School memories, three good friends catching up after a few years apart.

"Ladies, I must say that I missed you both very much ..." Sam said tenderly as they all left the restaurant together.

"Look at this big snuggly teddy bear!" Santana kidded, pushing open the exit door of the restaurant.

"We should totally do that more often!" Brittany sang. "Oh my god, I'm so full..."

"What about in two weeks?" Santana suggested, the three of them breathing some fresh air outside. "Next week's insane but what about Tuesday, in two wee-"

A man pushed her so violently she went flying. Her head hit the hard ground.

"_You made her gay bitch!" _She heard the man shout. She heard a loud cry bounce off the walls around her.

She turned her head carefully, feeling dizzy. The icy rattle of a knife. Sam's joints cracking against the man's bones. The dull sound of Brittany's body hitting the cold concrete, her hands holding onto her bloody stomach.

* * *

><p>Thanks Jen :) !<p>

I hope you guys won't hate me too much for that cliffhanger... Say what you think ;)


	15. Chapter 15

_**Flashback. **_

"No... No no no... _Brittany!_' She hooked into the ground with her nails, taking all the support she could get to crawl. Her deaf ears felt the concrete twang at another fall, she kept dragging herself unsteadily towards the blonde. Her hands in front of her, she grabbed Brittany's face, her eyes closed, her body shaking with the effort of her erratic breaths.

"Look at me! Brittany look at me!" The blonde's body was shaking harder trying to breathe, "_Look at me!_"

"_I called 911!" _Someone yelled.

"Brittany look at me! Look at me!" Brittany slightly opened her eyes. All the fear she could see in her eyes, all the love in her cries.

Sam rushed over and pushed Santana a bit so he could get a closer look.

"Hang on Brittany! Just hang on!" He cleaned the blood from the large knife wound he saw on the blonde then he applied pressure on Brittany's wound praying for the ambulance to hurry up and get there already.

...

"Jorge, you can't take this case, treating family's unethical!" Another doctor yelled through the emergency room hallway which was crowded that night.

"Watch me!" Jorge angrily shouted as a nurse rushed to help him with his surgical gown as he stormed into Brittany's room.

"Santana OUT!" She protested screaming, holding onto Brittany's limp hand on the stretcher. "_OUT!_"

Sam snatched her and forced her out, forcefully keeping her from entering again.

"Let me in!" She cried.

"Let them help her Santana..." She collapsed against him, crying her heart out. "Shh... Shh..."

Holding her tight, he tried to see what was happening through the small windows on the door. Jorge's tall back blocked the view; nurses were cutting Brittany's clothes and throwing the bloody material in plastic bags. Santana fought his embrace to watch too, but he stopped her by turning his back to the room. She was too small to see past his embrace.

"Brittany it's me, it's Jorge. Santana's father, you remember?" He talked to keep her awake. Her eyes flickered.

"I'll take care of you Brittany, it's gonna be alright, I promise you on my life it's gonna be alright..."

...

"Let me see her!" Santana shouted right when her dad exited the room, throwing his bloody gown in the trash. She struggled to see through the doors and the windows.

"Nurses are cleaning her, Santana. Come with me, I'll give you a clean gown." He gently took her from Sam's arms, with a tiny smile.

"I want to see her! Let me see her!" She hit him on his chest. He grabbed her closed fists and looked straight into her terrified eyes.

"You can't. Now come with me. I'll tell you on the way. You need new clothes. Come on now." He said sternly in sharp short sentences, leaving his daughter no other option. "You have blood everywhere."

She looked at herself for the first time, and she saw large streaks of blood on her shirt, on her pants, on her hand, suddenly realizing how she looked and in shock, she quietly followed her father.

"The knife didn't get that far, it only hit muscle. So you can relax, she'll be fine." She started to cry again as they reached the doctors' room. He showed her where to change without a word and gave her a gown. Like her daddy's little girl, she did what she's been told, quietly crying and coming back to him.

"A police officer's waiting. He'll want to talk to both of you." He stroked her hair. "A nurse told me they caught the guy thanks to your friend... What happened?"

"I don't know! One second I was being pushed and next I saw Br-..." Her sobs took her over. "O- On... the ground... And blood..."

"It's alright... She'll be fine Santana..." He grabbed her by the shoulders and she cried against him. "Your friend beat the shit out of this bastard I heard,... He did what it took to stop him I guess..."

"It's all because of... me Dad..."

"No, no, Santana!" He caught her face. "This man is crazy, it's not because of you, this is a psychopath, not a fan, do you understand me?" He dried her cheeks with his thumbs.

"But_I__chose_ to make us official publishing the pictur-"

"He's mad, it could never be because of you or anyone else. Don't take the blame for his mental disorder..."

"She could have died!"

"But she didn't Santana, can you trust your father when I say she'll be fine?... Can you?" She stared at him, frightened. "Can you?" He repeated with a small smile.

_**End flashback.**_

* * *

><p>This morning Brittany paid a lot of attention to what she was wearing. She chose only light colors, absolutely no black, not even her shoes. She believed that the colors you chose for the day would influence it. Today must be a good day, so she put light colors on. In front of Santana's parents' house, she looked over her outfit one last time and readjusted her jacket.<p>

She knew this house perfectly. She knew considering the time, Gloria would probably be in her kitchen, drinking her coffee reading the news and sharing it with whoever she was with, a habit Santana got from her.

She knew she could just go in, as she usually did over the past years. It was her other family home, she knew which windows were easy to open from the outside, a remnant of her teenage years. She knew where Santana used to hide her cigars, things her parents were probably still not aware of. She would just go in, shout a Hello and wait for Gloria to come from wherever she might be.

Today, she rang the bell.

"Brittany?" Gloria was surprised. "Why are you doing he- I mean, come in silly! Why didn't you just come in?"

"Hello Gloria." She said softly.

"Is everything alright?" Gloria thought Brittany was acting really weird, it seemed that all her joy was gone.

"Is Alma here?"

"Yes she's in the kitchen but its fine, you can stay sweetie."

"I came to talk to her actually."

"You-...Okay. Well you know the way..." She pointed out the way to the kitchen out of habit. "But Brittany... Do you want me to come too...?"

"I'll be fine, thank you." She answered simply, and with a smile she left for the kitchen.

"Gloria I already told you to change your brand of coffee, this one is disgusting." Alma spat hearing someone come in.

"Alma." Alma stood right away and turned to face Brittany. She didn't say anything, she looked at her straight.

"Alma, I'd like you to come with me."

"Where?"

"To Church."

"You don't go to Church."

"I'd like to talk to you there. Without Gloria or anyone around." With a challenging look, she kept going. "I'll drive you. You may not like me, but I still know how to drive. Are you coming?" Alma huffed and walked by her to pick up her things to go.

...

Quinn was a lawyer. Once she finished Yale, she decided to specialize in divorces and children defense. That was what she loved the most actually, to fight for children to get the best homes possible.

With some of her classmates, they created a firm and few years after, they won a huge trial that made them famous, about a father accused by a nanny of beating his four children and who had spent the last 10 years in prison. They finally manage to prove the nanny had made up the evidence. Since then, their office became well known for these kinds of cases.

Santana was flickering through magazines in Quinn's waiting room, with a drowsing Sophia in her arms. Around her sat very wealthy women, and their children, perfect little boys and girls marvelously dressed with perfect hair.

It made Santana smile; all she could think of was how it was probably a wonderful masquerade to hide all their real problems lurking under the surface. She hated women that used their children to cover their own flaws. "But you don't understand the pressure to be a good mom" she heard their minds screaming. Santana never found it difficult, everything fit perfectly, and it didn't fail to surprise her every day. Sophia was still so small, but Santana didn't understand how anyone could use their children to explain their troubles. She just didn't get it.

Quinn came out to meet Santana in the waiting room personally.

"What was that desperate phone call about, girl?" She closed the door behind them. "_Say hello to Auntie Quinny!_" She added in her baby voice to Sophia as Santana passed by her to sit.

"Oh my gosh Quinn, I was dying at home, I needed someone to talk to!"

"What's happening?"

"Britt is trying to make up with my grandmother, right now."

"What? On her own?"

"On her own!" Santana just didn't know what to do with herself, she was fidgeting in her chair, playing with her car keys so Sophia would be distracted. She just loved the clinking sounds.

"Wow, that's brave... How's she doing it?"

"She wants to explain to Alma it's possible to be gay and still end up in Heaven or some _shit like that_..." She whispered the swear words, still trying to get rid of her colorful language since Sophia's birth.

"Ambitious but a good thought."

"Yeah but I'm freaking out feeling so stressed waiting for her to come home..."

"Do you think it'll work?"

"How do I know? Alma is Alma, if she feels threatened or something, she'll just try to break her... It's so scary..."

"Yeah, I bet." Quinn looked at Santana and could see her mixed emotions, "But it's pretty smart actually. If you, as a couple, can take a step towards her by using her way of thinking, it can only be good. She's not dumb enough to refuse Brittany's concern about her religion, right?" Santana nodded a bit lost.

"It's _fu-..._ suicidal..." Her desperate tone made Quinn smile.

"It's not Santana; it's a very good idea, besides it's worth a try, isn't it?"

"Probably..." She spat, absolutely not convinced at all.

"If you don't agree with it, why did you let her?"

"Like I had any choice! She confronted me this morning like 'If you love me, let me do it', what could I say?"

"Vicious..." Quinn winked, smiling. "But she has a point."

"Yeah, I know, no need to remind me, thank you..."

...

Alma and Brittany were staring at the altar from the Church's pews, in complete silence. They almost ignored each other, despite the safe distance between them.

"Alma, I want to tell you something I've never told anyone." Both kept looking at the altar. "I don't know if they told you, but I got stabbed... once." Alma only listened. "I got stabbed because some psycho idiot thought I made Santana this way, that it was all my fault she was gay. Luckily it turned out that my life had never been in danger but still, for few hours I thought I might die. We all think about death at some point but back then it was concrete, like I could feel death on me, all around me. Have you ever felt that?"

"I'm getting old; death is in my thoughts everyday."

"So you'll understand what I'm trying to say." She braced herself, her voice unsteady from the memory. "When I was lying on the ground, Santana pleaded for me to open my eyes, again and again. It was damn' hard but when I managed, all I could see was her and it made sense. More than anything, even marrying her, she was, she _is_ all that I have and I thought that dying there in her arms was the right way, the only way to die."

She peeked at Alma, her proud look sticking to the altar.

"You only wonder what things you'll take with you to Heaven; not if you might enter it. I was fine dying because she knew how much I loved her, how much I care for her and it was the only memory she needed from me... if I had to leave. Don't you ever think about what people will remember about you?"

"I don't care about what people think."

"Don't you care about what Santana might remember about you? When you'll watch her from Heaven, because I do believe we'll all go to Heaven. You can never know when you'll die, Alma. Maybe tomorrow you won't wake up, as simple as that. And you'll take with you your regrets and you'll leave your family shattered without any possibility to ever clear their minds or make amends. I don't think that is what you planned, when you had children."

Alma solemnly turned her head towards Brittany.

"You know, before I got stabbed, I was supposed to be the one to have children. Santana always wanted it that way because she thought I was the couple's good cop. How random it is, huh? Just because I might be a little softer than her, I was the one supposed to be the perfect biological mom. And I accepted it because she asked me to, because it would have made her happy."

"I don't understand what you're trying to say."

"Well, my accident made me... you know... do some thinking. What I would change, now that I had sort of a second chance from God Himself. Because churchgoer or not, you still think about God when you're about to die... or whoever could hear us.

I wondered what would be her last thought if she was called back. I understood she didn't want children on her own because she was afraid she might reproduce the same family scheme she had. She wanted to break the 'tradition' and I was perfect for that.

If I had been the one carrying, she wouldn't have the chance to reconcile herself with her old demons, so one of her last thoughts would have probably been that she could never know if she was capable of unconditional pure love. She thought only I was capable. So I couldn't do it. I got another chance and I figured that this time, I had to do the right thing. " Shy tears fell quietly down her cheeks. "I refused to carry the baby, for her."

"Won't you ever regret not having your own children?"

"I won't regret it Alma. It won't happen because it doesn't make any difference to me." She wiped her tears. "If I die tomorrow, I know Santana would look after our daughter like she's a part of us together, not a part of me that I let behind. I'd leave with the thought of Santana reconciled with herself and that _my_ daughter, Sophia, will always carry me with her because without me, she would have never existed. We don't have the same blood but she has all my heart, Alma. Inside her tiny beating heart, she _is_ all the love I have as her mom..."

The old grandmother had no words. She felt even Santana wasn't aware of everything Brittany just shared with her. Her pride, the most dangerous part of her soul, could have never allowed such emotions. But all of a sudden, her heart opened out of respect for Brittany, she could never have made such a plea, she could have never found the strength. Especially not towards someone that well... she should despise.

"Granting Santana repentance is the best gift someone could ever give your granddaughter, _I _could ever give to my _wife_. Our children could have never been more a part of both of us than Sophia is... She has my soul, my heart... She's my life... You cannot be blind to that... Neither can God, nobody can..."

Brittany locked eyes with Alma.

"I did my part Alma. Don't let Santana forever drift in sorrow; don't let her question all that. She doesn't deserve, nobody deserves to doubt they could fully love or be loved. She's pushing herself away from happiness everyday a little more and only you can bring her back to me, to us, Sophia and me."

"Why didn't you tell her that?"

"She would never admit it. I don't even know if she's aware of it... Don't let her believe it will always be like this, her and her broken heart... The more you distance yourself from her, the more she'll think this is the kind of life Sophia's doomed to and it'll destroy her. Both of them... and I can't do anything about it by myself. Except, this is all you have to do... I don't ask you to like me, nor to understand me, just to accept it, Alma, accept it to give your grandchildren's souls some peace. Please."

In a reckless move, Brittany offered Alma her hands, pleading with her.

...

Santana heard the door unlocking, she rushed to the door and almost fell on the floor. She opened it before Brittany could even take her keys out.

"So?"

"Wow San, easy, let me get in the house first!" Brittany laughed.

"So!" She insisted anxiously. The pressure was too much, she was about to explode. She spent the day waiting; even seeing Quinn didn't relaxed her at all.

"So I did what I had to do." Santana looked her with a blank face. There was no way Brittany would refuse to give her details.

"Very funny sweetheart, spill it!"

"But there's nothing to spill! We went to Church. We talked... Now I guess we just have to wait and give her time to think it through."

"That's it?"

"That's it!" Brittany answered with a smile, pretty proud of herself.

"But what did you talk about? What did you say? And why are you so smiley!"

"I can't tell you that."

"So you're just gonna leave me like that with no more details?" Santana blurt.

"Pretty much yeah! I did what I was supposed to do, I'm not in Alma's mind, I don't know what she is thinking." She left for the living-room and left Santana standing there dumbfounded. "I guess we just have to wait for time to work its magic!" She spat from the living-room.

"Britt, this is so not happening, I'm not finished!" She followed her, decided to grill her until she explained everything.

...

"A guy delivered this package for you." Carla said quickly putting the box in front of Santana in her office.

"Who's that from?" She answered not even looking at her, all lost in her work.

"It says Alma Mariguez." The papers she was holding slid from her suddenly wet hands. She very carefully took the box, read the address. She looked up at Carla; she tried not to let her emotion take over and ask Carla to leave rudely. She found a lame pretext, Carla didn't buy it, but the most important thing was she needed to be alone for a moment.

Santana took scissors on her desk and cut the cardboard package with light trembling fingers. She felt like she was opening Pandora's box. She found a letter and another box that seemed to have lived several lives. She grabbed the treasure and opened it. Dog-eared papers, memories from what felt like another life. She flipped through and recognized some of the pictures that used to be on Alma's fridge, sun and age had altered the colors leaving magnets' ghosts on them. Old pictures, drawings, all Santana had forgotten about, sorrow and time had buried it all in her mind. When she was pregnant, she had looked at old family pictures, herself as a baby playing in her grandmother's garden, happy family faces all around; it caused so much pain, she couldn't bring herself to look at it again. But this time, it wasn't about the circle of life between her and her daughter, but Alma's memories more than hers.

In the old pictures, she clearly saw when everything stopped in her grandmother's memories, the last picture of Santana was in her cheerleader outfit, she was 17 years old and it felt like the last time she existed in Alma's memories. She put all this down and braced herself to open the letter. She read the shaky writing of a hand that suffered arthritis, from a heart that suffered loneliness.

"_Santana, _

_I don't really know how to say things._

_I sent you all the memories that I have of you in the box. I loved you, every single minute of every year spent away from you. I couldn't face the guilt, I didn't understand that tus padres and I were mistaken, that you were so pretty and smart. _

_Brittany came to talk to me, she is brave. You know Santana, we are tough women but we don't really talk about feelings. I could have never been able to do what she did, because I never had to, besides today, with you. She is really brave. _

_I'm sorry for how badly I hurt you in the past and today. I saw what you were doing but I didn't see the pain. You are still so pretty and smart. And Brittany is one the best people I ever have met. Believe how hard it is for me to admit that. I despised her for so long. She proved to me she was good for you, more than I have ever been. Now I understand that sometimes, you have to sin to do the right thing. Or what is best for you. I wish my late husband could have said to me what Brittany said to me about you.  
>Perdóname. Te amo. <em>

_Abuelita."_

Santana's heart swelled with happiness. The clumsy wordswere Alma's language. Santana knew she could never do better than that. She was sure about it because Alma was a selfish woman; admitting someone could be better than her or her beloved husband was something she didn't think she was capable of. Ever.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_.

"Sant..." was Brittany's first word, waking up from the deep sleep the anesthesia had plunged her in.

"I'm here, I'm here..." Santana rushed from her chair, where she had slept all night, wide awake, waiting for her love to wake up. The blonde finally opened her eyes after what seemed to be a few painful minutes. She stared at Santana, analyzing her every feature as if it was the first time she ever saw her.

"I love you." Brittany's voice cracked through hoarseness. Santana's smile shone, erasing the worried expression that she wore all night. She put a kiss on the limp lips, so careful not to touch anything but her lips. When she pulled away, Brittany followed, asking for it to last. Smiling all along, Santana granted her another kiss more intense, softly stroking her cheek, her jaw with the lightest fingers ever. "I thought I'd never kiss you again..."

Feeling her eyes wetting, Santana didn't want her love back from the dead see her cry so she kissed her again, over and over again, breathing soundless 'I love you's' as an endless declaration of love.

"I'm sorry Brittany, I'm so so... so sorry..." Brittany asked to be kissed again. "I'm so sorry..." Santana kept pleading with whispers and sobs.

"Don't..." Santana pulled away, confused. "I'm not."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm not sorry. Believe me; it hurts like a _fucking_ bitch..." She smirked through the pain of an injured body. "But I'm not sorry. I've never felt that alive before." Santana stared at her wife in total confusion. Brittany was probably still a bit high from her anaesthetic and pain meds. She kept stroking her with sad loving looks, quietly. Brittany tried to push the covers away, she wanted to see her wound but a throbbing pain started.

"Don't move honey, I'll do anything you want but please don't move..."

"I wanna see." With a heavy sigh, Santana obliged and pushed the covers down. She pulled her wife's gown up. "That seems nasty over there..." Brittany peeked at the blood through the bandages.

"Dad said it looks more impressive than it is." She softly said tucking Brittany in.

"Was it your dad who took care of me?"

"Yes. Do you remember... anything...?"

"I..." She looked away, lost. "I remember... your voice." She seemed to fight back some sobs. "Dancing lights in the ambulance... But then nothing..."

"Do you know what happened?"

"I saw... _him_... coming." She let her tears flow. Santana dried them with her thumbs, caressing and kissing the tumid cheeks. "But besides you, I don't remember... _after_." The blonde stared deep in her eyes, waiting for Santana to explain.

"Sam, hm.. he... he fought him off. He got injured too, but it's only a... hm.. a _cut _on his face." She didn't know how to say the cursed words, "He.. beat him up."

"Did they catch him?" Brittany whispered, not comfortable at all.

"Yeah, he's at the prison hospital before he goes to trial." She kept stroking. "I'm so sorry Brittany, it's all my fault, I'm so so so sorry..." She pleaded.

"Stop it Santana." Brittany's voice gained some strength. "I'm mad at this guy but... I'm just so glad to be there to see you again, to feel you..." Blue wet eyes broke Santana's heart. "To hold you again..."

She came closer and slid an arm behind Brittany's back, carefully not to move anything, neither Brittany nor the IV in her hand. It felt so good to be held again, Brittany thought. She wanted to stay like that forever, held as Santana would hold a feather, so softly, so tenderly. She managed to raise her arm from the non-injured side of her body, and slid her hand into the mess of Santana's hair. She made her come even closer; she wanted to melt with her but her aching body kept her from doing it. She groaned and Santana pulled right away.

"Easy..."

With tired fingertips, she insisted and grabbed the tiny hair of her neck not to let her go. She just breathed in her neck's crook, the floral fragrance of her skin, her reassuring breathing pace... It felt like to be back after a very long and awful travel.

"Home..." Brittany barely let out, lost in the moment.

Jorge opened the door to find them embracing each other. He cleared his throat softly. Santana let go to Brittany's great displeasure.

"It's good to see you awake, Brittany."

"It's good to be alive." She said softly as Jorge came in to examine her and reassure both of them, but mostly Santana that Brittany only needed to rest.

...

"Yo Sis, I got chocolate cake from the folks." Chloe said as she entered the Hospital room.

Brittany has been hospitalized for a week. The young perky blonde usually popped in after college classes so Santana could leave to get information on the investigation, sometimes she just stayed there too sad to leave her soul-mate. This was one of those days but she was away to grab some tea.

Chloe put the tantalizing cake on the table in front of Brittany and hugged her.

"Aw Mom made my favorite, it smells so good! So good I want to _slide_ me a piece." She granted her sister a mischievous smile.

"Oh I get it..." She chuckled. "But you shouldn't eat it all."

"Why not?" Brittany giggled.

"'Cause cellulite will stick on your ass before you can say knife." Brittany laughed softly, trying not to hurt her aching stomach.

"Oh my god, nice one... It gashes my heart..."

"Hoooo-"

"Seriously, those nurses are so freaking annoyin- Oh hi Chlo'!" Santana rushed in with two large cups.

"You know what happen when they get my babe angry, Sis?" Brittany ignored her wife.

"She saws them up?"

"She drops the Sword of Damocles over their heads." Both sisters burst into laughter.

"Okay stop this awful game right now or I'll cut a bitch!" Santana lost control of her own words out of rage.

"10 points for Slytherin!" Chloe announced with a deep voice. Santana realizing what she said, sighed and angrily put the cups on Brittany's table.

"Honey." Brittany caught Santana's attention with a soft voice but she kept ignoring her, busy taking the cake off of its box. "Honey." She huffed. Brittany grabbed her wrist so she finally looked at her. "We're not going to cry over it for weeks, are we?"

"But it's not funny!"

"I need to laugh it off." She stroked her tense arm. "You should try it too." She said with a loving smile. "For me."

Santana stared at her wife's sweet expression, hesitating. She offered Brittany a part of the cake she didn't taken yet, raising her eyebrows in a playful look.

"Let's bury the hatchet?" Santana tried shyly. The blonde smiled ear to ear, chuckling.

"No that's lame, we did it yesterday already!" Chloe greeted happily.

"Shut it Chloe!" Brittany spat all eyes on Santana. "Let me slash this cake with you, my love."

"Anyway lovebirds, I was just popping by for the cake."

"You're leaving already?" Brittany pouted.

"Believe me; I'd rather stay but workload's hot baby!" Chloe sighed.

"That's too bad..."

"I know but I have this nasty _nasty_ exam tomorrow morning and I kinda forgot about it until two hours ago so..."

"Chloe, you're a mess, you know that?" Santana joked.

"No need to remind me." Chloe chuckled, "Anyway, I'm off! Bye girls!" And she excited as quick leaving the couple giggling.

They peacefully relished their delicious cake and tea. Brittany was thoughtful. This morning, she had a therapist coming over. That was the proceedings, when you get stabbed, you have to be checked physically and mentally.

Brittany got it but she was a little annoyed to have him come every morning to always ask the same stupid questions. She thought he wasn't a very good therapist, he was way too formal for Brittany's vivid mind.

That morning, they had discussed what she should focus on and Santana's mental condition too. How they could let the situation go. The man didn't galvanize her but still, he had brought to light a few points she needed to discuss with Santana. Brittany braced herself and decided to give it a shot.

"Santana, I want to talk about when we'll get back home." The brunette moved her chair closer to the bed and smiled to motivate Brittany to go further.

"Of course. What do you want to talk about?"

"What we should focus on. Back home. I need to focus on good things, as soon as possible. I don't want what happened to get in the way of our plans." Santana's smile grew wider getting Brittany started on tackling their family plans.

"I totally agree. The quicker you're back on your feet, the quicker we can start, honey."

"Yeah 'bout that... I thought about it hm..." Brittany didn't really how to start. "I kinda want to change few parameters."

"What changes?" She put down her tea and cake, chewing.

"I don't want to carry the baby anymore."

Santana swallowed her cake like it was a 100 pound weight.

"But you just said that you-... You heard what the therapist said; we shouldn't let what happened affect or alter what we planned before. I mean, we're still a bit shocked but it shouldn't compromise our baby plans."

"That's not what I meant..." Brittany avoided Santana's gaze.

"Honey, if you don't want to carry anymore, we're a bit stuck on that one..." Santana said softly, trying to catch Brittany's attention.

"We're not."

"We don't really have any other option-.. _Oh_."

"Yup. That 'Oh'." The blonde let out playfully.

"Oh no." Santana felt like she has been stabbed too, right in the ovaries. "No. Oh no."

"Why not?"

"Brittany come on... I mean, I can totally understand that you might feel a bit insecure about your body right now but it'll be fine honey, you heard what Dad and Ferguson said, you're totally clean in that area."

"It's not about my body's abilities, Santana."

"What else could it be about?"

"It's.. Hm.. Can you promise not to stop me from what I'm about to say and listen to me 'till I'm finished?"

"Yeah..." Santana answered between worried and skeptical, a huge frown darkening her face.

"Okay hm. I feel like..." She scratched her head. She knew what she wanted to say but not the right words to use. "Sam saved my life. Imagine what could have happened if he hadn't beat the guy and pushed him away from me an-"

"Brittany don't-"

"You promised!"

"Okay, okay... Sorry. Keep going."

"I feel like I owe him _so _much. I feel like we're connected, forever. And..."

"Are you breaking up with me...?"

"Santana! Damn it, listen!"

"Sorry..."

Brittany sighed out of exasperation.

"So. What I was saying is that Sam will always be so special to me and well... If we have children, _you and me_, I want him to be the father. What do you think?" Santana was confused, it was a lot to take in.

"Hm." She breathed heavily. "I just don't care about having totally blonde children but I always thought it would be just the two of us, we never discussed ways we could include a father in the education..."

"No, no! You got me wrong. I feel like Sam has a part of me, a part of my soul, that's why I'm saying I feel we're connected. If Sam's the _donor_..." Brittany corrected, taking time to say each word with softness, "and if you're carrying, our babies would be like a part of both of us. Like a real part. Not just the love I'll have for the baby. It would be so much more than that."

Santana felt herself breaking out in a cold sweat. She always adored Brittany's mind, so colorful, so loving, she was the best for emotions. She always had been so brave regarding her feelings; once she understood them, she had always fought for them.

When they got back together, Santana hadn't doubted for a second Brittany's honesty because she knew, deep inside, that her proposal was the closure of a long and painful reflection. Not an impulse to make up quickly or impress her. She absolutely respected her for that. This freedom she had with her emotions and her understanding of them was a shiny treasure.

However, taking what Brittany just said, Santana knew this treasure was sadly priceless, way too precious to be bought. Any argument she flickered through wasn't decisive enough to fend off Brittany's logic, no declaration of love, anything. Santana just had nothing that compared.

* * *

><p>Thanks Jennifer0912 ! :) (People, go read my beta's stories, they are awesome! :p )<p>

I hope this chapter makes it up for last week cliffhanger... Please review ! The more feedback I have, the more inspiration I have to keep writing this story ! Have a wonderful week :)


	16. Chapter 16

_**Flashback.**_

"Hello Blondie!" Sam greeted entering the hospital room."Santana." He passed by her smiling. She thought this day couldn't get any worse. She was almost as pale as the bed sheets. "Wow San, you should eat something, you don't look very..."

"Don't mind her." Brittany kidded with a huge smirk. "What's up, savior?"

"Still frightening children at the office with my pirate's scar." He turned his face to show her his stitches. "They nicknamed me Sam Sparrow. Still better than Uncle Sam!" They laughed. "How are you, any better?"

"I'm fine! I leave in five days, can't wait!"

"That's awesome." He turned to watch Santana again. "You sure you're not sick Santana?"

"I... hm... I just need some fresh air. Good to see you S-hm. Sam." Without a glance, she rushed by the door.

"She's alright?" Sam asked worried. Brittany chuckled.

"Yeah, she's fine. She learned some news she's having a hard time dealing with, but she's fine."

Santana pushed the door fully closed behind her and rested against it, breathing heavily. Seeing Sam not even a few minutes after Brittany's big news made it even more concrete. All of a sudden, she felt like Sam was actually going to get her pregnant. She immediately thought it was absurd but her mind was all dizzy. She couldn't think properly at all.

Ferguson passed by her in a hurry, leaving a group of doctors behind.

"Hello Santana! Gotta rush but see you soon I hope!" The doctor said with a huge grin filled with joy. Santana just waved at her, petrified.

Jorge passed by too and stopped to talk a minute with his daughter.

"Hey! Phew.. we had one hell of a meeting with the director-.."

"Dad, do you have any cigars? I know you hide them here from Mom to smoke some so just give me one! I need one!"

"Santana, you alright?"

"I just need a cigar okay?" He looked in his pocket and took of a small silver box with a few cigarillos in it. She snatched one and his lighter and ran towards the exit. Jorge was left there dumbfounded. He pushed Brittany's room door open to check on her, wanting to know what the hell was happening.

"Hi Jorge!" Brittany happily said.

"Hi everybody. Hm... Brittany, what's wrong with Santana?" He made the blonde giggle.

"Oh that's nothing, she just... We discussed a few changes we'll be making once I'm back home, she just needs to digest them." She said with a huge bright smile.

"About _the_ thing?" Jorge knew the only subject that could get Santana that upset were their baby plans.

"Yup."

"I get it, I'll talk to her." He left.

"What thing?" Sam shyly asked.

"Hm... I'll talk to you about it after Santana has a chance to be accept it. Don't worry, you're so going to know." She explained with a sweet smile.

...

Santana was smoking her cigarillo outside as if her whole life depended on it. She shot daggers at anybody who talked to her or even just looked at her. She was seething.

"Sam... Pff nonsense." She smoked again and again on the too small cigarillo, talking to herself. "Me? Like me... Bullshit... It's just... No. Hell no. "

"Santana?" Her father asked gently, coming from behind.

"_WHAT?_"

"You're gonna smoke your fingers soon if you don't take it easy on that thing." Her father joked. She looked at her fingers, it became so small she was about to burn herself any minute. Realizing the burning heat on her skin, she started and let the cigarillo fall to the ground.

"Do you want another?"

"Yes please." She answered coldly. She lighted another nervously.

"What did she tell you?"

"I don't really want to talk about it."

"I do, so tell me." He said with his old strict fatherly tone. She just stared at him, smoking, defying him with her vicious looks. "Now Santana!"

"She wants me to carry!" She spat. "Oh no wait, that makes it sound like it was up for discussion. Either I carry or no baby!"

"What's so terrible about it?"

"Well duh!" She absolutely had no argument besides the fact she never thought it could be that way. She spread her arms in the air, thunderstruck. "DUH!" She said nervously, as if 'duh's' were valid arguments.

"Duh what Santana? Explain yourself!"

"It's not possible! I mean it is but..."

"If you were straight, you would have no choice." Jorge kidded.

"Yeah but I'm not, it's not a choice! Brittany's carrying our child, that's it!"

"Of course it's a choice, you both can but you choose for it to be her that gets pregnant."

"Bullshit."

"Then tell me why it isn't a choice?" She stared at him, furious, and kept smoking. "Waiting..." He insisted.

"_Because!_" Jorge laughed at her obvious dishonesty, whether it was conscious or not. "Stop laughing! You don't understand, Mom never came to you like 'Hey Jorge, let's implant some embryos in your balls!'" He burst into laughter which exasperated Santana even more. "It's not funny, stop laughing!"

"Then how did you ask her yourself? "Hey Brittany, let's implant some embryos in your belly?' Oh hold on, I'm pretty sure it wasn't far from that." Santana had no words against his solid argument. "Besides I'm pretty sure she didn't freak out. So why are you freaking out like that, why is getting pregnant so terrible?"

"It's not natural!" He put his face in his hands, shook by bigger giggles.

"I would have never guessed getting pregnant was that traumatizing for you... It would be nice to see you pregnant!" He went to tickle her stomach.

"Oh hells no, don't!" He tried again playfully and she smashed his hand.. "Just.. Off of me!" She raged with her index pointing accusingly.

"Come on Santana, you can't force her..."

"And she can't force me either!"

"Right but you want children or not? I thought you were pretty determined."

"Of course I do! More than anything but... It was Brittany's part, not mine."

"I get that. You know, after what happened, she might have her reasons..."

"Yeah and she very clearly explained them all, that's why I'm currently up against the wall."

"And hm.. what are they?"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to keep that to myself but believe me, she really... _really _trapped me with freaking good Brittany-ish reasons..."

"So you agree on it all but the carrying part that 'sucks'?"

"Pretty much yeah." She threw her second cigarillo on the ground and smashed it with her shoe.

"And she really can't carry?"

"Nope." Jorge finished his own cigarillo.

"You know, it's just nine months. It goes by really fast." Jorge said with a sweet smile, trying to reassure her.

"But it wasn't supposed to be me..."

"Life isn't always what it's supposed to be, mija." She stared at him with worried curiosity. Those kind of sentences weren't like him. "Brittany wasn't supposed to get stabbed, you weren't supposed to fall into a terrible depression... You never know what will happen out of what is supposed to... happen. That's life." Rubbing her own arm, feeling cold because of anger, her dad's speech, the afternoon fading, she kept listening to him. "I understand it changes a lot for you, but you won't make me believe you can't do it."

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because you have the guts to do it! Come on Santana, you decided overnight to give up singing, marry your girlfriend and then buy a studio, all that in like what... 6 months," He said counting on his fingers, "basically crashing all you were used to and what was supposed to be, but you're afraid of "switching" bodies for your baby-plans? Really?"

"I... hm..."

"And I can guess how crazy it must have been for her to support you through this... frenzy! Maybe it's time for some payback. Come on mija, don't be a sissy. You have to stop doubting yourself, it's pointless anyhow.."

Stuck by her own father, by Brittany twenty minutes earlier, she couldn't feel less comfortable with herself. Sam rushed out of the Hospital, and passed by them.

"Santana, I gotta go but I told Brittany I'll pop by your place when she'll gets back home."He hugged Santana and shook Jorge's hand. "See you later!"

"Yeah great... hm. See ya!" She said, more dumbfounded than ever as Sam left quickly. "I should probably go to... keep her company."

"But we're clear on your case, right?"

"I... I don't know.. yet." He sighed, half exasperated, half amused.

"We are." He insisted all smiles. Breathing heavily, she left her father there with his smirks.

...

Brittany had always been all so cool with their baby plan when she was supposed to be the one carrying, and true to herself, she had kept telling Santana _"Whatever will be will be"_. But Santana wasn't any closer to that kind of peace of mind. Getting pregnant was stressful as hell, it implied so many things to think about. She needed to be reassured, she needed more information, more advice.

That day, Santana escaped from Brittany's room for half an hour, and met up with Dr. Ferguson.

"But I have to know..." Santana pleaded with Ferguson in her office, just the two of them. "She can keep working, right?" Ferguson laughed.

"Santana, pregnancy isn't a disease! Brittany can keep doing whatever she's doing every day... and actually, I'm pretty sure she can keep working almost the whole nine months."

"Really?"

"Really." Ferguson smiled. "I don't say that it's easy for all women, sometimes it can be a little tough, but she's young, healthy... I don't see anything that might get in her way." Santana relaxed in her chair.

"But does she have to do the inseminations before IVF?"

"No, she doesn't _have _to-"

"Cause the wait would kill me! It would kill me that it isn't at least 50% sure that it might work. I don't have Brittany's patience!"

"No, we can do the IVF first. It's tough because it's a huge procedure. You have the injections, then you have to come to the Hospital for the implant and come back three days after for the re-implantation... Santana, can you tell me what the hell is going on with this conversation?"

"What?" Santana got caught.

"When you both came to my office, you weren't that stressed, you weren't even stressed at all!" Santana cleared her throat. "And why didn't Brittany come with you, she's kind of the heart of this story so...?"

"She's still hospitalized, she couldn't come."

"She's two floors up, we could have let her come in a wheelchair."

"Right..."

"Does she know you're here?" Ferguson softly asked, scratching her head.

"Hm... Not really..."

"Are you having second thoughts?"

"What... no! Of course not!" Santana started.

"Then what is it about?"

"Brittany, she... She asked me to carry. I need information before I tell her whether I agree or not."

"Oh... Now I understand all your questions." Ferguson laughed. Santana felt quite relieved to actually drop the bomb. "That changes everything!"

"Tell me about it." Santana sighed.

"It's quite funny actually because all famous people do what is more profitable you know. They book a whole week in their schedule to have a baby, way more convenient than trying naturally. They are too busy to procreate. But it's the first time I have a celebrity who is a lesbian too, it's like... the whole point of IVF!" Ferguson kidded and eased Santana. "I'm so not surprised you're wondering about IVF and your ability to keep working."

"Well, I'd rather have a tough week or two then maybe wait a year for it to succeed. I mean, I can hide my anxiety from Brittany, but if _I have_ to carry, it would be terrible! It's not even about my work schedule, it's about it driving me crazy if it takes too long. That plus the fact that I just started a studio, there's still so much to do... I just can't disconnect myself from that already."

"I understand." Ferguson smiled. "But as I said last time to Brittany, you'll have to find what fits you. What fits Brittany doesn't necessarily fit you. So if you think IVF is what you need, then let's go for that. You don't need to overthink it. I meant what I said, if you do it, you'll just have to take a week off, but you still can keep working until the end unless you feel otherwise."

"Okay good." Santana eased herself in the chair, lost in her thoughts.

"So you're doing it?" Ferguson teased with a huge smirk.

"I don't know yet. I'm still processing through Brittany's...'proposition'." She quoted with her fingers.

_**End flashback.**_

* * *

><p>Santana walked happily through the film studio's hallway. She peeked in every door, this large grin sticking to her face. She caught a running assistant by the shoulder.<p>

"Hey!" She called to him so he would really stop. "Hey, Hi ! Sorry to bother you, I'm looking for-"

"Brittany Pierce?" The hurried assistant said smiling.

"Yes right..."

"Third hallway on the left, the last door." He showed the way with his hands.

"Thanks... Stuart!" She read on his jacket.

"Anytime!" He ran away, busy.

She kept going. Thrilled to be surprising her - pick her up, something she never did, she started to scurry along the large crowded hallways. She bumped into people, into carts, she kept smiling all along. When she almost reached the right door, slightly ajar, she peeked in before opening it. All she could see was Brittany casually sitting on a table legs crossed, reading a script.

"Yeah okay so... If I understand this," Brittany started to talk. "Greta discovers that Wilhelm is deaf, but she doesn't really admit it to herself at first, right?"

Besides reading, Santana didn't really see Brittany working very often. It felt strange to pick her up, catch her in her own world. The film studios were far from home unlike her music studio, she had no reason to come there. Santana decided not to wait any longer and knocked. Brittany raised her head from the script and her face lit up.

"Come in!" Brittany gestured, all smiles, as she hurried to her wife at the door and kissed her. "What are you doing here?" Brittany said, running her hand through Santana's hair, mesmerized.

"Nothing, just popping by..." The brunette lied slyly.

"Oh!" Brittany realized they weren't alone and went to introduce her wife. "Santana, this is Annette..."

Santana turned around in a second that felt like slow-motion. The tall blonde and Santana never met. Mostly because Santana avoided her as if her life depended on it. Annette was indeed as gorgeous as expected; blond silky hair falling like a river down her shoulders, her long legs that made her look slender, blue piercing eyes, an embarrassed smirk on her lips.

Annette stood up from another table and offered her hand to Santana.

"Nice to... _finally_ meet you." Her high heels ripped the floor as elegant drums.

Suddenly, Santana felt unpretty with the last extra-pounds she still had to lose from the pregnancy, her nice but comfy shoes seemed totally unsexy by comparison. The casual dress she slipped on in a hurry that morning because Sophia was crying. Her huge engagement and wedding rings clinkinging on her finger were the only things able to compete with Annette's chic. She felt like a mom, far from a bombshell, definitely not like the woman in front of her.

She carefully shook her hand.

"Santana." The brunette coldly introduced herself.

"Annette, do you mind if we stop here for today?" Brittany asked softly.

"We were almost finished anyway, we can totally do that later." She accepted, her calm and charming voice already getting on Santana's nerves. She went to get her things.

"Thanks Annette." Brittany focused back on Santana, so happy to see her there. "Why are you here, is Sophia alright?"

"Yeah yeah, she's fine, I dropped her at your mom's to go working this morning." Santana said, keeping an eye on Annette.

Brittany saw how careful Santana was in Annette's presence, but she couldn't care less, she was so happy. When she left earlier in the morning, Santana was in her usual mood: quiet, with a stuck sad expression. She had drank her coffee reading the newspaper, as always; however she didn't make any comments, she just kept reading without a glance or a smile for her. Brittany had left their apartment bitter, again.

But right now, she had Santana in front of her, all smiling, surprising. It was such an unexpected gift. She just made her so happy.

Annette turned around and held her bag on her shoulder.

"I'll leave you two." She walked towards the exit."It was really nice to meet you, I hope we can get to know each other some other time." She told Santana with a sweet smile the brunette found very irritating.

"Yeah, of course." She said skeptically.

"Have a great week-end. See you Monday Brittany!" Annette said, already heading out. Santana imitated her speaking, annoyed. Brittany laughed at her wife's reaction. Jealousy, as clumsy as it was, was still a thing Brittany loved about Santana when it was just some childish annoyed reactions.

Santana pulled herself together and kicked her jealousy out of her heart, nothing, _nothing_ could get in her way right now.

"Actually Britt, I came 'cause I wanted to talk to you and it couldn't wait." Brittany frowned at Santana's serious tone.

"Okay, I'm listening."

"Can we just go somewhere else? Can you leave right now?"

"Yeah totally, I'll grab my stuff?" Santana nodded, deep in thought. "Okay hold on." Brittany rushed to the other side of the room. She stuffed scripts, her scarf, keys in her bag in a complete mess, thrilled to see Santana open up. Brittany was proud, holding her wife's hand in the hallways. She was so proud to see her smile again, glancing at her out of the corner of her eye, waiting for them to reach her car to talk.

Once Brittany closed the car's door behind her, she turned around to see Santana staring at her as if her heart was melting. Santana grabbed the blonde's hand, she kissed its every finger with feather lips, then she opened it and put it against her own cheek, cajoling. Brittany's heart quivered, she stroked her cheek bone with her thumb.

"I love you." Santana's voice almost trembled. Brittany frowned, trying to understand this complete reversal of the situation. Santana kissed her palm and let go of her hand, guessing Brittany's inner questions. She bent to grab Alma's box on the backseat. "Alma mailed this today." Santana carefully put the box on Brittany's lap. "Open it."

"Oh..." Brittany carefully opened the box and found all the pictures, the letter on top. "What is it?"

"All her memories from my childhood. Read the letter, love." Brittany feared what she would find. She carefully opened the letter and read it. As she went through the clumsy words, a shy smile emerged on her lips; she remembered their conversation, the quiet ride Brittany gave Alma after that, how both were deep in thought. Santana caressed her cheek as she finished reading.

"Wow." Brittany whispered, putting the letter back in the box and closing it.

"I really wish I knew what you did that got her to ... finally understand." Brittany chuckled at Santana's sweet tone.

"That's our little secret." She set the box back on the backseat, smirking. When she turned around, Santana grabbed her face in her hands all of a sudden and kissed her.

"Thank you..." Santana whispered in the kiss, "Thank you... Thank you..." She made Brittany giggle. She slid an arm around the blonde's back and let her hand wander to her neck. Santana hadn't been that loving in a while, besides in their bedroom when the lights were off. She was finally inspired, all her tenderness coming back in her gestures, her smiles, her wandering hands.

Santana let go and stared into her deep blue orbs. "Tonight, I'm taking care of you." Santana said with a proud smile.

"Oh really?" She challenged.

"Yup, I know _exactly_ what you need."

"That is..." Santana let Brittany's mind wander for a second. Where could they go, if they were going somewhere. A party, a restaurant maybe. Or a late spa. Yeah, that sounded like "taking care of someone". But actually, what she really needed was...

"No children, an old musical, you, me, and a bottle of red wine."

"_Thank God!_" It was Brittany's favorite cocooning evening, but it became quite impossible with Sophia around. "What movie?" Santana raised a finger to make her wait. She grabbed from under her seat a DVD and a bottle of wine.

"I got this one..."

"'Carefree'! I haven't seen it in ages!"

"And that bottle!"

"Ugh, perfect... Oh my god, I love you so much..." Santana laughed.

"It's far from what I owe you, but it's a start I guess..."

"You don't owe me anything, Santana."

"I do. Like... So much." She bent to kiss her again. "And don't say I don't because I do." She happily threatened, barely joking."I want to make it up to you too, for... how I've been..."

"You don't have to, seeing you smile like that is more than enough for me." Brittany insisted.

"We'll see." Santana answered smirking, determined to take care of her every freaking day and be more loving than ever.

They spent the evening on the couch, in each other arms, in the dark, with the movie as their only light and sound. For once, there were no diapers needing changed, no crying in the middle of the evening, no whining and feedings. It felt so peaceful... and calm. It reminded Brittany of her life from before Alma and Sophia, the life that seemed far away. It was so reassuring. It was good to just spend time on their own, just the two of them, without caring about time, children, work... this insane routine that started months ago. Their only moments really alone together were these two hours in the morning before Sophia would wake up, too tired to stay up late instead.

"We should do that more often." Santana cooed as the movie ended, stroking Brittany's hair, who was lying all along Santana.

"So bad..." Brittany turned around to kiss Santana. The brunette put down her glass and complied happily. Brittany dragged her so she would lie under her. "Thanks for kicking the nipper out for the night." Brittany chuckled, she rested her head against her wife, cuddling. "It's nice just to be alone. I missed being happy with you..." She raised her head to see Santana's expression; she found guilt.

"I'm so sorry... I don't even know where to begin..."

Once she had swallowed Alma's letter, Santana had realized how terrible she must have been to Brittany. All her moods, her nasty comments every day, her unfair jealousy, even if she didn't know what to do with that because she was indeed really jealous and it had nothing to do with Alma. She realized how patient Brittany has been for all these weeks, how she had never given up, and most of all, how hard she had fought to put an end to the situation, successfully. Santana owed her the world; she just didn't know what she was supposed to do to make it up to her.

All Brittany cared about was feelings. Santana thought about it for hours before picking her up at the film studios, there were nothing she could do about feelings because the only thing messing with Brittany at the moment was herself. So that's all Santana could think of, a movie, a bottle of wine, her love and her. Something simple, honest, unpretentious. Something drama-free, without any crying, not even happy tears. Something that looked like stable and easy happiness, everything Brittany loved. Her movie and her bottle seemed so lame but it was at least a true and real promise for sweet happiness.

"Can you just promise me you'll try to be happy like that... you, me, and Sophia?" Brittany asked with the most reassuring expression.

"I have no reason to be sad now." She said, losing her fingers in the back of her wife's head. "I feel terrible about what you endured for me."

"Don't, really." She sat up. "It's all over, that's all that matters. Let's put it behind us." Santana stared at her, her heart torn between guilt and love. "I don't deserve any award for fighting for you; this is what marriage is made for. You would have done the same for me. So really, let go."

"We will always stick together, right?"

"I do think so." Brittany giggled. "But actually, there's something you could do for me..."

"Anything." Santana let go in a hurry.

"What I really want..." Brittany smirked, "now we're all alone together for the whole night and morning..."

"Does it involve a bed?" Santana tried shyly.

"I want to go to bed, and sleep for at least 10 hours straight in your arms." Brittany laughed; she was just too tired for anything else.

"Britt I'm so relieved, I'm freaking too exhausted for uncensored cuddles right now..." They laughed, as Brittany stood up and offered her hand to go to bed.

"Ready for 10 hours of restful and uninterrupted sleep, my love?"

"Don't tempt me too much..." Santana happily grabbed her hand and they started walking.

"But we do celebrate the peace treaty tomorrow morning, don't we?" Brittany poked her chuckling.

"Like a second honeymoon sweetie..."

...

Brittany was struggling with Sophia, who didn't want to stop pulling her hair. Santana closed the car behind them and the family went to enter Santana's parents' house.

"If you keep doing it, I'm gonna put mittens on your hands Soph'!" Brittany half-joked as Sophia was just laughing at her mom's anger. She tried to contain the little annoying fingers with her only free hand as they made their way in.

"_Mami we're here!_" Santana yelled. She made both Brittany and Sophia jump.

"God, why do you always yell so loud when you're in your parents' house."

"It's a ritual, you can't understand." Santana kidded.

"_You're early!_" Gloria shouted back from the floor up. They heard hurried heels clicking on the floor.

"Told ya, it's cultural." They laughed waiting for Gloria.

"Coming, coming, I was making Abuela's bed!" She said rushing down the stairs. "Aw she's growing up too fast!" Gloria went straight to Brittany and her granddaughter.

"Hi Mom..." Santana sighed because her mom just ignored her.

"You don't make children if you want all the attention for yourself, Santana." Gloria laughed.

"Anyway... When will they arrive?" Santana asked. Just the idea of seeing Alma again had been stressing her all day.

"In a minute." Gloria tried to contain her happiness to finally get her family reunited, for certain this time

They all eased themselves into the living-room. Santana needed to do something with herself while waiting. She sat on the floor and helped Sophia play with a ball.

Brittany was also stressed as hell, she knew Alma was fine with her, but she just didn't know how to behave with her anymore. She sat with her wife and child on the floor; she also needed to keep busy after all.

Sophia was having a lot of fun with her ball, sitting on Brittany's lap. It had little picots on it, it tickled her hands. Her moms kept sending it to her and she laughed like crazy. Gloria watched them, so very happy for what was about to come. Without talking, they were all taking the wait, in their own way, except Sophia who was in a joyful paradise.

A car parked in the driveway. Santana held the ball tight. Sophia bounced on Brittany's lap; she just wanted her ball again. They all held their breath. Santana decided to stand up and go to the hall, her family followed her. It was too hard, she burst outside.

Jorge helped her grandmother get out of the car, her cane tapping on the ground. She ran to help her herself. Seeing his daughter coming, Jorge pulled away and Santana grabbed Alma's hand.

"Hold on, let me help you..." With a sweet smile, the grandmother agreed and she got out of the car. When she stood up on both her feet, she looked at Santana, with all her love and pride, this cold mix of her deepest feelings. Her eyes focused on Santana's, and she held her against her with a relieved sigh.

"_Te quiero tan mucho Santana_..." Alma said in a breath, just for them.

"I love you too, so, so much..." Santana welcomed as they held each other a little more. "Thank you..."

"Thank Brittany, not me." The old woman was being honest. She was obviously tired of fighting, she didn't see the point anymore, and she was tired of being proud. Brittany was right, Alma only had a few short years left to live and it was time to care about what she would leave behind.

"Come, come inside Abuelita." Santana said softly, she couldn't be happier. They walked, Santana holding her shoulders in a tender embrace. As they were getting closer to the front door, Brittany held Sophia tighter against her. The last time she saw her, Brittany had parked in the same driveway, Gloria had helped her mom the way Santana just did, and without a word, the door had been closed. They were almost in front of her, so Brittany just smiled. When she was almost in front of her, Alma gestured to Brittany to come closer to her. The old lady, as a grandmother stroking her little beloved granddaughter, cheerfully taped on her arm.

"Hello." Alma simply said, she just didn't know what to say, she was still a bit impressed by her. She just hoped she filled her voice with enough gratitude for Brittany to get it.

"It's good to see you, Alma." Brittany understood it, so she just welcomed her with her biggest smile.

If Santana wasn't tired of all the crying she had been through lately, she would have cried happy tears. Her heart melted, when with Brittany's arm around Alma's shoulders and they both started to walk into the house.


	17. Chapter 17

Brittany was beyond happy. Driving back home, she couldn't get rid of this huge smile on her face. She spent the day at a school for deaf children, watching young children living their lives using another language than her own. She watched them, saw them interact. She learned few signs, how to say 'hello' and 'thank you' mostly. She talked with the teachers about these children, how is it to teach them, all the ins and outs of being deaf in this century. Brittany was fascinated.

She had directed many movies so she knew what it was to prepare for a shoot, but she never had to do that much research about something she knew absolutely nothing about. Writing the script had been an easy task, Annette nailed it, helped by her team. But figuring out how to translate the heart of the excellent script; its emotions, expression and intensity to the screen was the real heart and soul of her preparations.

She was exuberant being so challenged and discovering a whole new world.

Her phone rang on the dashboard, she peeked at it. Smiling gently, she quickly answered, put it on loudspeaker and set it on her lap so she could keep driving safely.

"Hey babe" Brittany answered happily. "I'm on my way right now, what's up?"

"_My folks are coming over tonight but we're out of wine, could you grab some on your wa-_" The phone made a strange noise.

"Where are you, I can't hear you." Brittany heard several weird noises and Santana grumbling in the background. Some dull chuckles. "San? I really can't hear you..."

"_I'm back! Your daughter grabbed the phone... again... Sophia you have to stop doing that!_" Brittany laughed. _"What was I saying... Oh yeah the wine! Can you?"_

"Yeah, one bottle?"

"_Two, Alma's coming as well_."

"Was "my folks are coming over tonight" a code for "let's bury the hatchet with Alma"? We'll need more than two bottles for that!" Brittany kidded.

"_She was nice last time!_"

"She was, she was... I'm just kidding honey. Let's just hope she'll actually talk to me this time."

"_Does 'Hello' count?_" Santana laughed.

"Sort of."

"_I spent the afternoon with my mom; she said Alma felt really bad about last time, that she has been too shy to really talk to you._"

"I know it'll take time Santana, don't worry about me. I'm actually pretty happy she's coming tonight, I'll have a lot to talk about, my day was amazing!"

"_Was Annette with you?_" Santana asked hurriedly, her jealousy showing up through her voice.

"No, she wasn't." Brittany smiled keeping both eyes on the road. "I was at this school, remember?"

"_Oh right! I forgot about it._"

"Please! You don't forget when I'm planning a day with Annette."

"._..Touché._"

"What about when I go shoot the movie in Germany for a _whole_ month, just her and I... those cold nights in the German winter?" Brittany teased, playing.

"_Can you just grab a third bottle for me, I have stuff to drown._"

"I'll just buy a full crate then. We can never be too sure." Strange noises again.

"_Damn it Soph'!_"

"Baby, stop bothering Mama when she's having her little jealous fit."

"_Very funny Britt, really, nice."_

"Anyway, I'm parking to go get your beloved wine!"

"_You're an angel, bye amor!_"

"Love you!"

Brittany happily whistled her way into the store. She loafed around all the departments and took her time choosing the perfect wine. To give Brittany a mandate to buy wine meant a half an hour reflection about what wine would fit Brittany's mood. She just loved wine so much, she loved its sophistication, wine wasn't just wine, for her it pleasure, a statement of her mood.

Once she found the two perfect bottles for the evening, she wandered by the magazine department. She saw Annette's faces on some so she stopped to peek at them.

"_**Annette Kaiser dumps boyfriend!  
><strong>__Reportedly busy on a new movie, it seems she has dumped her boyfriend to focus on this "lifetime project" she's been talking about lately. Even if the two never confirmed the relationship, their wild escapades never escaped our radar!"_

"Bullshit." Brittany chuckled. She kept reading, softly talking to herself. "If San sees this..."

She chuckled even more at the idea. Brittany considered buying the tabloid to tease Santana even more but decided to give her some space, for once. The "Annette Joke", as Brittany nicknamed it, was a little game between the two lovebirds. Santana was just so jealous all the time, the blonde just gave up on make her accept it. Instead, she freely laughed about it and never hid anything, even if it was hard to Santana to take. Sometimes, Brittany was gone for days and nights working with her, and Santana just waited anxious as hell at home or called Quinn in as reinforcement, unable to do anything else.

The fact was that Brittany needed to leave to shoot the movie quite soon. She decided, in order to preserve the peace treaty between Santana and Annette, she wouldn't film the whole movie in Germany, only the outside parts, the rest could be done in the studio back home. It was Brittany's conciliatory effort towards her wife, and also because being away from her daughter for that long was torturous. But being gone a month was the shortest time she could manage and still do justice to the movie she was committed to.

Santana was really discreet and secretive these days, Brittany wondered what was up. Since she and Alma made up, Santana was a bundle of joy. However, she was working later and later at the office, and when it was her turn to watch Sophia, Brittany came home to find them locked in Santana's office, working on some secret business. She didn't mind at all, in fact, she loved it. It reminded her of the sleepless nights she used to spend writing songs, when inspiration had been kicking in. Santana needed her time off alone, just as Brittany needed her own time away from home working.

When Brittany unlocked their apartment's door, she heard Santana running in the corridor, holding Sophia.

"Why are you running?"

"I'm not running. I just heard you come in; I missed you, that's all." Brittany looked at her with a loving face.

"Aw... I don't know if it's the wine I'm carrying or the jealousy in your heart these days, but it makes you even more lovable." They smirked and Santana kissed her.

"Wine. _All_ the way..." Once she saw her mommy back home, Sophia started to throw her tiny arms in her directions, bouncing in Santana's arms.

"You tortured her today or…?" Brittany commented, laughing at her daughter stubborn need to be held by Brittany. She set down her stuff and held her baby. "What did you do today?" She softly asked cuddling Sophia.

"Well we did... stuff." Santana answered, casually.

"Wow, you don't do that very often, you must be thrilled." Brittany joked.

"And you don't know about all the planning it required..."

"Sounds terrifying!" With a smirk, the Latina escaped to the kitchen. She watched her walk for a second, wondering what all this mystery was about.

...

Brittany woke up opening her eyes softly with a huge smile on her face. Last night had been awesome. Maybe it was the wine or the wonderful stories she told from the deaf school or Alma's interest in what she was saying... but anyway, it had been a great dinner, really. Once Sophia had been put to bed, they all had a chance to relax and enjoy themselves. Brittany and Santana went to bed very late, exhausted but immensely happy.

Brittany stretched what she could; trying not to wake up Santana, all huddled up in her arms. It was still early. She was feeling just fine and rested up for her Sunday cuddles. She took a minute to decide how she would wake up her love, this morning.

With a smirk on her lips, she slid a shy hand under Santana's shirt. She stroked with feather light fingertips her skin, her curves. She made her lie face down, lifted her shirt up and laid kisses down her spine. Santana slowly stretched, scratched her head, her messy hair formed a black cloud on the pillows. Brittany kissed her hips, Santana chuckled, she was really ticklish there. She hitched her shirt up on her shoulders, silently asking for her to take it off. Santana complied right away burrowing back into the pillows; her back and neck drowning under kisses and strokes. The malicious blonde slid adventurous hands between her beloved wife and the mattress, catching her breast and cuddling. Chuckles again.

"Hello wild one." Santana whispered in her morning husky voice, turning around to face Brittany. The blonde crashed their lips together, leaving no doubt about what her mind was thinking about. She started to stroke everything strokable. "Honey..." It didn't stop her. "Honey, hold on." Santana reached for Brittany's face and kissed her lightly. "I want to, I really do but you'll have to wait three days for that..."

"But it's Sunday..." She pleaded, frustrated.

"I know but we could change it up a bit..." Santana toppled them over, kissing her in the neck.

"No, no, it's my Sunday breakfast, I can't do without."

"But it's nature sweetie." Brittany stuck to her pout, Santana used her softest words but failed. "Tuesday...?" She offered with a sweet smile.

"I don't care about Tuesday... I want my Sunday cuddles, it's sacred!" Santana laughed at her desperate tone. "We should get you back on birth-control pills. Totally. Like stop this Mother Nature mess so I can have my cuddles!"

"Okay..." Santana tried to get her shirt back, from under Brittany but the blonde was resigned not to help. "Gimme my shirt Britt." She frowned even more. "Please, come on, I have something to replace Sunday sex! I want to show you."

"Nothing besides sex can replace sex." Brittany spat, more than bitter. Santana laughed and pulled forcefully on her shirt. She happily got out of bed putting her shirt back on, and exited the room. Brittany sat in the bed, crossed her arms. This day was going to be a bad day. She kept staring angrily at the open door, waiting for her to come back. When she did, Santana smiled at Brittany's childish expression, her lower lip out in a very sad way. However, she considerably relaxed when she saw Santana had looked for a guitar.

She sat back on the bed and prepared herself to play.

"I wrote something in expectation."

"You wrote." Brittany's face was suddenly split in two by a large grin.

"Yup." She said with a playful smile. "You ready?" Brittany nodded happily. "Alright..." She cleared her throat. She hadn't sang for her like that for so long, actually. It was a really sweet gift, she thought.

"_Those two hours when we disappear,_

_We escape to sunshine wonderlands."_

The melody was happy, joyful. It wasn't Santana's usual kind of songs. Brittany was intrigued, in a very good way.

"_That's our little mind-blowing get away._

_Honey nights seem to go by so fast when_

_Our "8' to 10' love" is coming, baby."_

Santana kept singing with her sweet husky voice, eyes on the guitar. On the other side, Brittany's heart was melting like cotton-candy.

"_8'... 8' to 10',_

_In my arms, baby,_

_8'... 8' to 10',_

_For two hours, baby_

_8'... 8' to 10',_

_Make love to me, baby."_

Brittany chuckled at Santana's prettiness exploding all around while singing her lovely song. She had this mischievous smile on her face, playful eyes that started to peek at Brittany's reaction, shyly.

"_Everybody's waking, everybody's leaving_

_But we stay in the sheets cut from outside,_

_Your shiny hair brushing its way down on me,_

_Your sweet touch burning down my spine,_

_When 8' rings, love wanders to 10', baby."_

Brittany moved a bit forwards to stroke her legs while she was playing. It was really moving to see her making music again. Especially that kind of happy song. Brittany had stopped hoping for that a long time ago, it seemed Santana was very far from that.

"_My messy hair draws ecstasy on the pillows,_

_Your dazzling smile sends me travelling far away,_

_Honey, you make us dance like no one can when_

_You hold me this way, when you kiss my craving-_

_Jeez! 8' to 10',"_

Brittany laughed as Santana emphasized her sweet emotions in louder notes and playful smiles.

"_In my arms baby,_

_8'... oh hell yeah_

_In the bathtub baby,_

_8'... 8' to 10',_

_Make love to me... baby."_

Before Santana could breathe out her last words, Brittany almost jumped on her to kiss her fiercely. She made them fall against the bed's edge. Santana held on her guitar tight so it wouldn't crash onto the ground. The blonde took it out of her hands and put it softly on the ground, then she came back to her previous sweet preoccupation. They kissed so wild they ended up with their heads dangling in space off of the bed.

"It almost made me forget about kissing your 'craving jeez'." Brittany happily whispered in the kiss.

"You liked it?"

"Very much so. Thank you Santana." She held her so tight. Sophia started to cry and that made them chuckle even more.

"She has a sixth sense, I swear." Santana kidded. They stood up in a loving embrace.

"Is that what you've been doing, all secretly and stuff?" Brittany asked softly. "You started to write again, didn't you?" Santana's face shone.

"That's right. But I promise I didn't write this one in front of Sophia!" Laughing and poking each other, they went to Sophia's room.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Flashback<strong>_

Brittany was resting in their bed. She made herself comfortable, turning the TV on with a happy smile, glad to finally be back home.

"There you go _amor._" Santana came back from the kitchen with Brittany's dinner on a tray. She put it on a small table Brittany had sitting on her legs.

"You didn't have to put a flower in a vase. It's just pizza." Brittany laughed but the chuckles hurt her still sore healing wound.

"No, no don't laugh!" Santana started, holding Brittany right away to prevent any bad moves.

"It's alright, I'm not gonna break!" She smiled widely at her wife's utterly worried expression and gestures. "I'm a veteran, Soldier Pierce." She kidded.

"No excuses, don't laugh! Just cuddle and rest, my treat." Santana said softly as Brittany nibbled on her pizza cutting small parts with her fingertips.

"Soldier Pierce loves her cuddles after a very long and painful battle." She kept nibbling. Santana lay by her and cuddled so very gently as not to shake her under any circumstances. They quietly watched TV. Santana knew what burnt Brittany's lips, the particular topic she wanted to talk about, but she definitely didn't want to talk about it, not yet. Santana kept saying nothing, answering Brittany's reactions to TV with sweet smiles, avoiding any kind of discussion. She just wished Brittany would finish her meal, nod off until she fell asleep. Without paying any attention to the show airing, Santana let her eyes wander around Brittany's wound. She unconsciously stroked around it, careful not to hurt it. She was really deep in thoughts, very far from the reality of the moment.

Brittany had given her so many things to think about. She still had hard time dealing with one of _her_ fans stabbing her wife, the frightening insecurity of it all, the baby plans and those big changes. She had to get over the stabbing, time would help but she still hadn't give Brittany any answers to her tricky request.

She had decided she wouldn't talk about it until they were finally back home, until Brittany was completely healed, until everything settled down back in their routine. Until then, only cuddles and sweet smiles, nothing else.

Brittany took her eyes off of the screen to watch her wife, her fingers wandering on her skin, her eyes lost on the wound.

"You alright?" The blonde softly asked.

"Hm? Yeah, sure." Santana was brought back to Earth.

"Have you thought about what we discussed... earlier? In the Hospital?" Santana sat up in the bed, uneasy at her wife's shy question.

"Sweetie... can we talk about it later...? We're still a bit under all these emotions... We should think about it together when things get back to normal."

"I'm eating pizza in front of the TV, couldn't be more normal." She smirked. "I got stabbed, not brainwashed Santana, we can talk."

"This area is still not open to any kind of jokes."

"I'm not joking." She smiled. "I just really want to talk about it. You said you'd do whatever I demanded once I was back home... I demand to talk about it." She giggled softly.

"Oh don't take advantage of your condition!"

"I just really want to know your thoughts about it, that's all."

"I... Hm... You made us change all of our plans, you know that."

"I know." Brittany's heart beat so loud at the thought she might actually agree.

"It isn't as easy for me as it is for you to picture myself... pregnant." It was hard to quiet her loud heartbeats as she saw Santana sigh. "I really always thought you'd be the one to do it."

"I know sweetheart, I thought it'd be that way too, but I didn't plan that things could turn out this way. It makes sense like this."

"I get that. It's just that I have to get accustomed to the idea that I might get pregnant." The blonde couldn't help her tender smile, this idea was just too important to her. She had spent so much time picturing her beloved wife's bump growing bigger and bigger, it was just beyond perfect for her. It was real but she had to keep her adoration and excitement contained not to scare Santana even more.

"But what about Sam? You haven't told me what you think about him..."

"Well, I can't find any viable objections." Santana breathed heavily, silently agreeing that Sam was actually the best donor they could ever have.

"So that's a yes?" Santana couldn't feel less comfortable. She looked for her words.

"Do you even realize how... _far_ getting me pregnant is from what I ever, _ever_ dreamed for us? How it really changes everything?" She explained, putting words to her thoughts.

"Santana, is that a yes?" Santana stared at Brittany, whose eyes were filled with so much hope it made them shine. She bit her lip and took a last breath.

"It's a yes." She whispered with a shy smile. Brittany had hard time trying not to move to express her happiness, her face split by a huge grin that meant a lot. She hurriedly tried to remove the little table on her legs to hold her. Santana helped her, the best nurse she could ever dream of.

"Come..." Brittany opened her arms wide and Santana followed. "Thank you... Just... Thank you." She put the lightest kiss on her lips and cuddled her so tight.

"There's nothing to thank me for. I want you happy more than anything... And you're right; it might be perfect this way." Santana admitted, still not used to the idea.

"It _will _be perfect this way." Brittany giggled, it felt so certain with a 'yes' said out loud. She stared at her wife's shy expression, a mix of smiles and sweet worry. She wondered if she should push it a little further or not and actually, the good news was so good she couldn't stop herself. "When do we start?"

"Hold on Speedy Gonzales! I still need some time to get used to the idea..." She cuddled a little harder, still careful not to hurt Brittany. "And there is still something that isn't fixed yet."

"Right! When do we ask him?"

"That, I don't know..." Santana cleared her throat. "They don't do any greeting cards with 'Congratulations! You saved my wife from a psycho murderer, please fill this cup with your mojo so I can get pregnant.' on it."

"Photoshop, babe." They laughed.

"But what if he doesn't agree?"

"Honestly," Brittany started with a smirk, "I don't know how he could refuse, this guy only lives to spread the love."

"You're sure about that? 'Cause if he doesn't, your plan will be seriously discussed again." Santana half-threatened, kidding.

"He won't. I'm positive." Santana saw on Brittany's face the excitement she went through just a few weeks before. The desire to take care of her woman, cuddle the body that'd cradle life, set everything herself so her wife wouldn't have to worry about anything else than be relaxed and healthy to carry the easiest she could. She knew these emotions very well and they were sweet to read all over her features. Exactly like she did before, Brittany was probably thinking about calling Ferguson as soon as she could.

Sam of course, how could they do to ask him; maybe ask him to come over to their place? Should they call him right now, or wait until tomorrow? So many questions that were probably storming around Brittany's mind and Santana very clearly got each one of them. Santana wanted to leave all this new rushed planning for tomorrow, so she stopped Brittany's train of thought right away. She kissed her one last time and crawled out of her arms.

"Dessert to celebrate?" She offered. She knew the need to take care of her would have instantaneously emerged in Brittany's heart, the idea of her wife giving life fueling her altruistic mind despite her condition. But for the moment, there was no way she would let her do it, Brittany was the one in need of care still, even if she pretended she didn't, the aching body as proof Santana was right to care.

"I just want you with me right now...I don't care about dessert..."

"You need to eat, you need to get some strength back Britt," She insisted, "Dessert and me, or no dessert but no 'me' neither..." She negotiated with a smirk.

That night, the first they could sleep together since the accident, seemed adorable. Brittany had this shy grin on her face before Morpheus took her away, moved by Santana trying to spoon her, her smaller body getting in the way of her plan. It was rare to feel Santana breathe in her neck, she was usually the one to do that. It felt nice, Brittany thought. It felt nice to be taken care of, but she was already planning her sweet revenge, when Santana would be pregnant. She nodded off, watching tanned fingers stroking her arms. She imagined those very same hands holding a baby, stroking his skin like her thumb was actually caressing her own, all soft, all sweet. Everything fit.

...

The hot water felt good on her wound. It was relaxing her muscles around her shoulders. Brittany let the water flow for a few minutes. She still had this throbbing pain that woke her sometimes, she still had to dress it to keep it safe from any infection but it started to really heal, leaving a big red scar behind. She got out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel. Hearing Brittany, Santana peeked in the bathroom door to check on her.

"You need help for the bandage babe?"

"It's fine thanks!" She scowled as she dried the wound, bending making it a bit difficult.

"Let me do it..." Santana rushed, grabbing some compresses on her way. She hurriedly knelt and started to dry it carefully with a compress. Brittany stared lovingly at her. It was indeed better when she was doing it because she didn't need to bend to see and consequently she didn't tense up around the wound hurt. Seeing her concentrated frowning as she tried not to hurt her was so sweet. Santana flattened the compress with her delicate flat hand to keep it still against the wound, and with nimble fingers, she unscrewed the cap of the antiseptic cream with one hand. It was really sweet to see this caring routine from Santana.

However, Brittany was in a very good mood so she decided to play a joke on Santana. As Santana applied cream with feather light fingers, she feigned pain whereas she had absolutely none at the moment. She groaned and flinched.

"I'm almost done!" Santana apologized. Brittany groaned again, louder.

"Can you hurry please?" She groaned again. She saw Santana gritting her teeth and focus even more on being careful. She groaned again, trying to still her growing laugh.

"I'm almost done rubbing it in, promise!" Santana glanced up at her so very sorry and immediately made Brittany chuckled.

"Damn'it Britt! I can't believe you..." She pinched her hip. "You make me worry for nothing!"

"That hurts!" Brittany rubbed where she has just been pinched to ease the pain away. She pinched her harder. "Stop it!"

"You deserve it! Seriously, you're evil." As they laughed, Santana finished rubbing the cream in and put a bandage on it, a little less careful and if it hurt Brittany a little, it'd be too bad for her.

She stood up and Brittany thanked her with a kiss. She dressed herself as Santana did her makeup for the day to come, and when she was done, she cuddled her from behind. She let her hands wander in their sweet embrace. She slid innocent fingers under her shirt. Santana wasn't fooled, she knew perfectly well where Brittany's mind was while she felt her stomach skin being stroked again and again, with a delicacy right from their most private intimacy.

"Britt, Sam just called." She casually said applying her mascara. "He was checking on you." She glanced at her through the mirror, and cleared her throat. "I think we should ask him." Brittany was grinning wide.

"Do we ask him... tonight?"

"If we have a chance to see him, maybe..." Brittany buried her face in her neck, assaulting the skin with kisses.

_**End flashback**_

* * *

><p>The music filled Brittany's ears, a loud beat that exhilarated her moves. She danced, again and again until she found herself breathless. In the club crowd, she made her way towards a dark corner where they all sat; their headquarters. Quinn was talking with Mercedes, surrounded by mountains of coats, purses they all kept with them. She peeked around and saw Santana dancing her heart out with Sam, close to Carla and Puck whose sexual tension could be cut with a knife. Mike and Tina bumped into her, holding onto their glasses so they wouldn't spill.<p>

Breathless, she fell down on a pouf right next to Quinn.

"Girls, you're not dancing!" She yelled over the loud music. "It's my birthday, you should be dancing!"

"I'm still hungover from last night!" Quinn answered laughing. "For a mom, you're full of energy."

"Ain't no mom tonight, it's all about my smoking hot ass dancing on the floor!" Santana came back and drank a shot straight off their table.

"Oh my god it feels so good Britt, come on! Come with us!" She grabbed her hand to drag her on the floor.

"Go without me babe, I'll have few drinks and then I'll join you!" With a shrug, Santana was already going back to the others. "I'm so, so, so happy you could make it guys..." She said to Quinn and Mercedes taking a drink.

"Yeah! We'll seriously miss you, you know that." Mercedes sweetly smiled.

"So bad! So, how long will you be gone for? We have to do this again when you get back." Quinn inquired.

"I'm leaving for a month, maybe two. It might take longer though, it has been pretty amazing at the studio already, I'm thinking about filming a little longer. I really want to push it; I have this feeling about this movie... I don't know, I feel it's a huge opportunity I shouldn't waste, you know..."

"Is Santana fine with you being gone that long?" Mercedes worried.

"No." Brittany laughed. "But you know, fuck it, this movie will be freaking amazing, Santana being fine with it or not, I don't care. For once I'm doing something for me." She said chuckling. "It'll be a huge break for my career, really. I think she gets that so she kinda tries to deal with it. It's leaving with Annette that is the most knotty but well..." She shrugged laughing. "Jealous Santana is hilarious sometimes!"

"50 bucks says she'll come to visit you in Germany!" Quinn bet, hitting her glass on the table. Mercedes and Brittany laughed hard. "Who's in?"

"I say she won't stand it more than three weeks." Mercedes offered.

"4 weeks!" Quinn yelled her offer as Carla sat by them. "Carla, you betting?"

"Betting on what?"

"How many weeks Santana will wait before joining Brittany in Berlin?"

"Oh shit... Two. Yup, no more than two. She already can't stop grumbling about so-called Annette at the office." Everybody laughed. "Brittany, how many did you bet?"

"I'm Switzerland, I can't bet on my wife!"

"Pff bullshit." Quinn said, writing everyone's bet in her phone so they wouldn't forget, Mercedes agreeing with a glance of complicity.

"Okay, okay, if I bet, she can never know about it or she'll ask for a divorce..."

"I'm on that one!" Quinn kidded, raising her hand in the air.

"I'm serious! Okay... I'll go with Mercedes and say three as well. I can calm her down with Skype calls but Santana won't last longer than that."

"What won't I last doing?" Santana came in a hurry.

"Another shot!" Carla saved Brittany's ass with a wink.

"Babe, I thought you knew me better than that..." She playfully announced drinking another. "God, what an amazing idea I had weaning Sophia before your birthday..." She emptied her glass.

* * *

><p>Sorry for the late update!<br>So, how many weeks do you think she'll wait ? :p  
>Only few chapters left before this story ends...<p>

Thanks Jen :)


	18. Chapter 18

_**Flashback. **_

As the hands kept clicking on the kitchen clock, Brittany felt the impatience growing inside her. Time didn't move quickly enough, she thought. She waited for Santana to come home from work. She guessed her day must have been insane, she has been almost off of work for a month, and she hired a new assistant in a hurry, Carla, even without time to really train her. Whatever, Santana needed a new assistant so she could be by Brittany's side at the hospital.

But now life had to get back to normal again, Santana feared what she would find at the studio, probably an insane mess caused by an under-trained assistant. Brittany felt a little guilty about that, she thought she should have pushed her harder to go back to work earlier, that after all, she didn't completely need her all the time. Finally back at home, she had forgotten for a little what was in the drawers, where she had left this particular script she needed... She almost spent the whole day looking for things.

Brittany took her glass of water and headed to the living-room. She tidied up the mess she had made earlier; there were magazines everywhere on the table, scripts, some leftovers on a plate, a rumpled cover she used for her nap. She carelessly took her magazines and scripts and stuffed them in a drawer. She wasn't in the mood for a perfect cleaning job. It would bother Santana but that night, the brunette would be far from worried about house-cleaning, neither would she.

As she opened another drawer, a test result she did weeks before caught her eyes. Her name was on it, numbers and blood levels, fertility results. Ferguson's signature, attesting Brittany's body was ready to carry a baby. She smiled. For a second, like an illusion, she pictured Santana's name, today's date, those very clear letters, black ink on white paper saying how wonderfully ready Santana was to carry their baby. She considered throwing the paper away. Now that she had pictured in her dreams Santana with her big bump taking restful naps, her mind just couldn't comprehend the old plan, that felt just wrong now. When she was dreaming, she saw this nameless and genderless baby running, she could only see his or her back, fooling around, dark hair flowing in the wind. She heard Santana laugh, she imagined herself stroking her stomach and feeling tiny movements under her fingers and it was just too wonderful. No, really. It had to happen like that, she just knew it would.

She heard the front door open, bringing her back from her reverie, she closed the drawer in a hurry.

"Britt, you in here?" Santana yelled

"In the living-room!" She would have rushed but she was still feeling a little stuck. Santana came quickly.

"Carla, she's awesome!"

"Really?"

'She's so great! Everything was so fucking perfect, well.. almost but still! I didn't expect her to be like that, really!" She went to sit on the sofa and kicked her shoes off. "Holy shit my feet hurt..." She started to massage them, under Brittany's happy glance. "Really Britt, this girl is a fucking genius. I thought I had to spend the day fixing bullshit but actually we hadn't stop all day, we did appointment after appointment, I haven't been that efficient since... phew!"

"So you'll keep her?" Brittany softly sat by her.

"Hell yeah! I'd have to be an idiot not to keep her." She kept rubbing where her feet hurt the most. "Oh god yes..."

"You'll reward her then?"

"Pff no! No yet! I don't want her to know how awesome she is yet! She might get above herself, no, no... I'll keep my mask of indifference on and let her keep up the great work. I just want to keep working with her for a little while longer and then I'll raise her base pay or something, I don't know yet... But she's gold honey, really!" Brittany kept staring at her lovingly. "But Britt, you're not ready yet? We leave in two hours."

"I don't know what to wear, help me choose?"

"It's just Blaine's charity gala, no biggie hon. You'll be amazing in any dress." Santana said glancing at her tenderly.

"Yeah, but if we talk to Sam... I want my dress to be special."

"Okay then." Santana agreed, her heart pounding harder and harder at the thought of tonight's gala, when they would see Sam. What was going to happen next, she didn't want to think about it, it was way too stressful.

In front of their closet, Santana understood why Brittany had a hard time choosing a dress. She flipped through her dresses but none of them seemed to be perfect.

"Seriously, I have nothing to wear either." She groaned hands on her hips.

"Bummer." Brittany sighed in the exact same position in front of hers.

"There's no dress that says 'please dude get me preggo'. I have 'gimme all the grammys', 'gimme a super cool record deal', 'I'm sexy and I know it'..." She kept flipping through, "'Make love to me asap'-"

"Love that one." The blonde smirked.

"Focus Britt!" They both stared in their closet, unsure.

"You know what, choose mine, I'll choose yours."

"Deal." They switched places and everything suddenly became more playful. "This blue honey, you should wear that one, you're just... _hmm_ in it." Santana held the dress high on Brittany to see if it would fit as well as in her mind. "Definitely the blue."

"I guess it would work... Let's see yours... Hm." She kept moving the hangers. "And we have a winner!" She took a grey short dress out of the closet. Santana bit her lip nervously. Now they had their outfit, the next step was going. It was becoming more and more real with every minute that ticked by. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding.

...

"I can't believe someone gave a $100,000 donation! Anonymously! Who gives $100,000 anonymously, seriously?" Sam sat down at their table after the final speech of the gala. Brittany emptied her glass of champagne as Santana squeezed her hand under the table. "I sure will investigate that. I want to know who that is to thank him!"

"Wow that's wonderful Sam! It's good to see things went really well." Santana greeted.

"$100,000! All the things we can do with that much, it's just... I'm speechless. Last year, we raised over $150,000 and we had like a hundred contributors, but with this donation phew... Can you imagine? Nobody's that rich!"

Sam couldn't believe how amazing this night was. First of all, they raised much more money than expected. They had a lot of problems getting new investors lately so this sudden big donation was more of a lifesaving gift than a random donation. Then, he was really happy Santana and Brittany could make it. Blaine and consequently Sam never insisted on them coming. They didn't want to look like those high school friends that tried to take advantage of a wealthy friend's bank account. They didn't want their charity to get in the way of their friendship. That's why Sam was really happy to see them, to see his friends interested in his charity work like any other person supporting a good cause.

They kept looking at Sam in his happy frenzy, silently agreeing with each other by smiles as they held each other's hands under the table, the moment getting closer and closer.

"No really, I can't believe it..." Sam stared at his glass. "Anyway... I can't stop talking about that, I almost forgot to ask about you guys, how are you?"

"Fine! So good to be back at home." Brittany said as Santana became more and more petrified by the upcoming conversation. "I'm feeling much better! It's almost all gone now, it just pulls sometimes, but nothing too painful."

"Good, I'm glad, really." He poked her shoulder laughing. "So you're ready to pop out a bunch of kids?" Taken back by Sam's comment, Santana squeezed Brittany's hand harder.

"How do you know about that?" Brittany inquired intrigued.

"Oh I'm sorry; I didn't mean to, it's none of my business... It's just that you know, when... _it _happened, Santana told me that... hm. Nevermind." At the memory, he was very uneasy, so sorry to bring that night back up especially at a party.

"No, tell me! What did I say? I can't remember." Brittany encouraged Sam with a look as Santana asked hurriedly.

"Hm okay..." He cleared his throat. "When Brittany was in surgery, you kept rambling about how awful it was, that you guys were planning on having children, that this bastard couldn't take your family away like this... I figured that you were discussing that before... _it_ happened."

"Oh. I see... Yeah, we were." Santana confirmed, letting her eyes lock onto Brittany's.

"Really guys, sorry, my bad."

"No, no, it's fine. It's still relevant actually." Brittany was quite determined to guide this conversation, she tried to calm her heart down, she was starting to freak-out.

"But that's so cool! So you will? I mean, you'll get... you know what I mean!" Sam didn't know how to phrase such things. He was himself far from having children, helping kids at the charity was sort of his own family.

"Yeah,_ we_ will." Brittany let out, her voice so small with hidden emotion.

"It's good that you're back on your feet so soon, you can keep life going this way. Maybe you'll have them soon!"

"We hope." Santana looked at Brittany a little confused. Brittany actually freaked out and couldn't say the words that she wouldn't be the one doing it anymore. She missed a golden opportunity but Santana herself couldn't explain so she let Brittany continue, thinking that maybe she had a plan or something.

"Who knew the first from McKinley to have kids would be the lesbians, that's a good one!" Sam laughed.

"How surprising!" Brittany laughed too, the joke barely altering the terrible feeling she had missed the perfect opportunity. She took a deep breath and pulled herself together. "Actually Sam, our plan changed, it's Santana that will have them."

"But you're okay right, is it because of the accident?" He glanced at Santana who couldn't look him in the eye. She was staring at the table a little lost and really confused.

"Not at all! Well, not technically..." Brittany looked back and forth between Sam and Santana. Now she had jumped at the chance, there was no turning back.

"What do you mean?"

"We did a lot of thinking and we hm..." Santana softly tried to explain and help Brittany but it was too hard for her. She almost regretted her own few words right away.

"We would like you to be our donor." Brittany let out in a breath, with the very shy nerve she had left. As she studied Sam's face, Santana couldn't look at him at all, she was terrified he might refuse. She had no idea how the conversation would end, she didn't know how she could handle losing a friend, or if things got really weird if he refused. Sam grabbed his glass off the table and took a sip, lost in his mind as the couple's hearts were breaking with every passing second.

"I kind of... knew you would ask me. I mean, I thought you might do it." They were dumbfounded.

"How?" Santana whispered and Sam chuckled.

"It's a jigsaw. I like jigsaw puzzles." They kept staring at him perplexed. When he saw their expression, he explained with a smile. "I knew you wanted children, and that you'd be the one to do it." He looked at Brittany. "But you remember that time I visited you at hospital, you were rushing out of the room so upset." He pointed at Santana. "I only saw you like that twice, _that_ night, and then again when I visited Brittany. I figured something went wrong but Brittany told me I'd be kind of the first to know, all smiles. And considering all that happened... I guessed I wouldn't be the first to know if you moved, or changed cars... It must have been something a little more important than that." He smiled wider as he kept explaining his train of thought. "And you are already married so it wouldn't be about being best man. It doesn't leave a lot of options."

"It's scary how smart you are sometimes." Santana almost kidded through her seriousness.

"I just like riddles and stuff." He sipped in silence for a while.

"So if you knew it, you might have thought about what you would answer... right?"

"Indeed." Brittany's fingers melted with Santana's under the table. "It took a lot of sleepless nights, believe me." He chuckled at the memory. "It's not every day you get asked to do something like that. But before I let you know, I have few questions."

"Anything." Santana spat.

"I want to know what donor means for you. Would it mean never see me again, or be "Uncle Sam" or... Yeah, what does it mean to you?"

"No matter what Sam, donor or not, you're our friend." Santana decided now that her wife had dropped the bombshell, she should be the one negotiating. "And we know how much we're asking after all you've already done for us."

"You're not answering my question Santana." Sam insisted with a soft smile.

"Well, our first plan was an anonymous donor so there would have been no father and it would have been just the two of us. If you accept..." She let go of Brittany's hold to talk with her hands. "We wouldn't want our children to get confused about who their parents are so I guess we would keep the title parents for ourselves."

"But if your children asked about me, what would you do? Would you hide me?"

"Of course not! We would never hide how great a man you are, obviously." Santana said with a smile. "The day they asked, I guess we would explain why we chose you. It's our duty to tell the whole story honestly and hide absolutely nothing. It would be the child's very own story."

"So I'd be this famous 'Uncle Sam'?"

"Just Sam, our very dear friend. And the day they ask, Sam, our very dear friend that happened to be our donor because of how awesome you are for saving my wife."

"And if they never ask?"

"It's our job to educate them, to make them curious about life, to make them wonder about their own existence. Anyhow they'd ask, and if they don't when really young, we would tell them, if it's okay with you. They must know why they are so special. We would just keep it between us, our parents or friends shouldn't know about it, it's none of their business." Brittany added.

"I see."

Sam had pretty much guessed the answers to his detailed questions already. They were his friends, he knew them, he knew their point of view about life so it wasn't really surprising. Just like the rest, he had guessed it all. However, he needed confirmation, he needed to hear that he would remain their friend and that things wouldn't change between them, as much as possible. He felt reassured as some of his feelings had kept him awake these past nights.

A few minutes went by as everyone around the table was deep in their own thoughts.

"You don't have to tell us tonight Sam. You can take all the time you need..." Brittany said softly holding his hand.

"Would they know that they can come see me whenever they want or need?"

"They would." Santana confirmed, shy happiness showing in her smile. Sam enjoyed the last few seconds before giving his answer, totally aware how terrible it would be for them to wait for an answer he already was ready to give.

"Okay then. I'd be honored to help you guys have a family. I know you'll take care of your children like no one else can." Brittany and Santana sighed happily, breathing a big sigh of relief as joy flowed through their veins. They both stood up to hug him, thanking him over and over again.

"What would we do without you?"

"No blonde babies at least. But I do have a question. Were you the ones that donated $100,000? I don't know anybody with that much money besides you guys. Did you try to buy my little conquerors or?" Sam joked with a fake skeptical expression.

"Sorry to let you down but we only gave $10,000." Brittany laughed.

"Shit, I'll never know who it was... But $10,000's still awesome! Thanks guys..!" He said as Santana hugged him one last time. "It's not that I'm running away but I really should go help Blaine, I'm pretty sure there's a lot of stuff going on backstage."

"Of course! We'll call you later to.. hm.."

"To give me all the details on how we proceed, right?" He smiled wide.

"That's right!"

"Bye girls." He left waving his hand happily.

Both women took a deep breath as they watched him make his way between the tables on the way backstage. Brittany felt a shy hand caressing her back.

"We did it. He said yes! He fucking accepted, San!" She said out loud and turned around to see her wife. Santana's eyes were burning a flame she had never seen before. She held her face in her hands and gazed at her lips. "I just can't wait to see you pregnant, my love." She brushed her lips with hers. "See your bump grow, feel our baby move, I just can't wait..."

"What about my cravings?" Santana teased laughing.

"I'd even drive in the middle of the night to get you strawberries."

"And my hurting feet?"

"I'd rub them until you feel as good as an angel on a cloud."

"Oh really?" She poked her from inside their embrace.

"You'll feel like a leaf in the wind!"

"You're silly..." Santana laughed tenderly.

"I'm in love, what else can I be?" Brittany shrugged, all casual. Santana curled up in Brittany's arms and rested there for a second, surrounded by her beloved wife's fragrance. She kissed her collarbone.

"This is actually happening."

"It is..." Brittany whispered. She looked around them, people had stood up, they were all talking. They seemed to be in a very small bubble, just the two of them lost in the crowd. She peeked at the stage and saw the shining sign of the donations total, '$284,000 raised!' the inscription flashed in small red dots on and off a black screen. "I wonder who gave $100,000 though."

"I did." Santana breathed out against Brittany's chest.

"But I thought we agreed on $10,000 and not anonymously." Brittany was beyond surprised.

"I donated $10,000 as planned and an extra $100,000. He deserves it."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"I wanted to help him, as a friend, as he helped us and keeps helping us. I didn't want him believing we did it to buy him or something... And he might have refused to take the money too."

"I understand..." Brittany kept cuddling her wife. "That's really generous though."

"He deserves to have us help him realize his dreams. I probably wouldn't be snuggling against you like this without him. " At the thought, Brittany held her tighter and kissed her head.

"Let's go home, San. I want to spend all night and tomorrow cuddling. And Monday, I take you to Ferguson's."

"I've already been."

"What? What else are you hiding from me?" Brittany laughed.

"I went when you were in the hospital. I needed to see her to make up my mind before we talked about it. So Monday, you're taking me to go do tests to get me ready." She looked up with innocent eyes. "If you want to..."

Sam and Blaine passed by them in a rush, they seemed to have something serious going on.

"Good thing you're still here guys! Thank you so much for your donation, really, it goes straight to my heart." Blaine told them as they let go of each other.

"Come on Blaine, it's nothing." Santana greeted.

"Well for us $10,000's definitely not nothing!"

"Have you found out who's the biggest donor?" She teased as Brittany looked away. She wasn't the best actress; she didn't want to spill the secret.

"No and it's driving me crazy." Sam was almost pouting, hands on his hips scanning who in the room besides Brittany and Santana could donate that much. "You're sure it's not you?"

"Positive." Santana said with all her might. "We're not that rich anymore since I gave up singing." She took on a fake sad tone and Sam's mind debated if he should believe her or not.

"Damn..." He breathed out.

"It appears we'll never know who it is!" Blaine announced just as concerned.

"Whoever it is must have a very good reason, let it go, really."

"You're probably right Santana." Blaine thought out loud, scratching his forehead.

"Anyway, we were leaving; all these numbers make me dizzy!" Brittany said cheerfully. "It was a wonderful night!"

Blaine thanked them again and they left. Holding her lover's hand, Santana turned around for a second to see Sam one last time before they went. He was watching them leaving, from the other side of the room. She couldn't hold back the tender smile on her face, a smile he sent back right away. The three of them were replaying the conversation in their minds.

Sam was absolutely convinced they were the ones to donate that much, and the fact they kept insisting that they weren't only confirmed he had made the right choice. He was proud of his friends. Out of all his charity work, helping them was maybe the best thing he would ever do. He grabbed a bottle of champagne from the table close to him.

"Blaine, we have stuff to celebrate!" He called, happy to hide his own pride under tonight's victory.

_**End Flashback**_

* * *

><p>Santana made her way through the nightclub's crowd, her heel ripping someone's shoe.<p>

"Oh shit, sorry!" She said to the man's back. Sam turned around in a little sexy dance move.

"It's just me Santana."

"Oh my god, I didn't recognize you..."

"Girl, you're wasted." He chuckled, pulling her closer on the dance floor.

"Yup, that was my plan. Success! Yayyyy!" Santana started to dance too, the pace slightly altered by her drunken mind, her hands shaking in the air. "Do you even realize how long it's been, I haven't partied in over a year, maybe two!" She started to count on her fingers; she wasn't really able to think properly. "Hold on, 18 months! 18 party-free months! It's totally worth a bender; I'm like a martyr or something..."

"A martyr..." He laughed, with a judgmental look.

"No ovaries, no opinion! You don't know... how... _awful_ it is... for 18 fucking months!" She pleaded, almost crying, her emotions exaggerated by her alcohol consumption.

"Are you blaming my little champions?" Sam challenged smirking.

"Oh no! No! Sophia is just... She's perfect. Beyond perfect..." She said her eyes suddenly filled with pride. "Wanna see her? I have a picture in my phone..."

Sam never met Sophia. When Brittany had called him to announce her birth, of course his heart had quivered, a strange feeling flooding his body. He had prepared himself while debating whether or not he would help his friends conceive, during Santana's whole pregnancy. He had decided not to visit them, not to change their usual meeting frequency. He wasn't a father, he was a donor, and he shouldn't care about their daughter differently than a random friend's child. He had decided for everyone's sake he wouldn't act otherwise, other than calling them once in a while to check on them.

When Sophia was born, the strange feeling had remained for a few days, with the growing desire to see the baby girl with his own eyes. He had wondered for days and nights, as Brittany had kept telling him they wouldn't mind at all if he visited them, they would love it. Unsure of his own feelings, he had stayed at home waiting for an answer that didn't seem to come readily to him, and life had just continued moving forward. Months had passed, and except for a small picture Brittany had sent a few days after her daughter's birth, grown-up Sophia's features had remained a total mystery.

"Yeah, show me your little diva!" He nodded. Santana took her phone out of her bra and Sam chuckled at the weird place to stash a phone.

"What? I'm drunk but I'm still a mom!" She commented. It was very rare that Brittany and Santana left their daughter at her grandparents, and they couldn't stop worrying about her. Drunk Santana figured she would just stuff her phone in her bra, sure she would hear it if Andrew or Julie called if something went wrong. She flipped through the pictures. "Oh this one, god she's so cute in that one..." She gave Sam her phone. With a sweet smile he contemplated the little girl laughing.

"She looks like you. Sober." She poked him.

"People say she looks like a tanned Brittany. She's perfect, you know. You should come see her, really."

"I'll think about it." He softly said, closing the phone and giving it back. He wasn't really sure if he was excited to see the baby out of friendship or fake fatherhood. "I'll let you know when I'm available, alright?"

"Sounds perfect."

...

"You and I will be having a lot of fun today, sweetheart!" Brittany told her daughter, undoing the safety belts keeping her in the car seat. "We will meet a lot of new friends, and we will play a lot, you like to play, don't you!"

Brittany, thanks to some school teachers from the deaf school, had decided she should bring Sophia one day. In this school, there were children of all ages, from wealthy families that wanted the best place for their children or from other backgrounds, older children placed there by social services. This big diversity was great for the kids, the teachers explained; they were free to be who they were regardless of where they came from. Brittany had spent a lot of time there, studying everything she could. She started to sign herself, a few words to make herself understood by the children that couldn't lip-read. She was so grateful for this experience; discovering a new language, another way to live was filling her with so much happiness.

However, she was lacking one key point in her research. She wanted to know how deaf toddlers behave with other babies, so she brought Sophia that day, with the teachers' consent.

"Come on! Hug Mommy!" Brittany said as she caught her in her tiny seat. The baby curled up in her arms, something she did anytime one of her moms' asked for a hug, a very useful thing when it came to get her out of her car seat. "I hope you'll like it as much as I do because I really, really love being here sweetheart."

She closed the door behind them, put her bag on her shoulder and stuffed her keys in her pocket. She entered the school all joyful today. Since Santana was back on her feet, her happiness was unwavering, it was written all over her face, and the teachers felt something had changed with her. When she came in, her face all radiant and glowing showed how light her heart was.

The director of the school, Mr. Wright, saw them approach from the window of his desk close to the school entrance. He rushed out.

"Brittany! You finally brought your daughter!"

"Here's my little angel!

"Hello Sophia, I'm Joseph very nice to meet you!" He took the little girl's hand and gently shook it. The shy baby curled up against her mom. "They are just too cute when they are little like that. How old is she?"

"7 months! Teeth are starting to show." Brittany happily explained.

"She mustn't be sleeping a lot then... Right baby, teeth hurt, huh?" He said, tickling the baby a little. Sophia giggled at the man's wide smile and babbled back. "How chatty you are!"

Wright and Brittany started the day talking about the weather and other random stuff, a tiny friendship starting through their conversation. Wright loved her work, her emotional point of view on things and life in general and how she wanted to convey that in her movie but from what she had done before, he didn't know if she would actually succeed.

When she first came to the school to see if they could work together, he had watched her movies, those light comedies that had indeed made him laugh. She had convinced him to trust her that it was her chance and she needed him for that.

First, he had showed her how it was to teach the oldest children of the school, teenagers that knew how to make themselves understood from hearing people. Little by little, Wright made Brittany speak with younger children, showing her the complexity of teaching them a language they also had to teach their parents. Brittany had talked to those parents, the way they had first dealt with their children regardless if they were deaf themselves or not. Scribbling notes from the back of a classroom, memorizing conversations had been Brittany's routine in this school, as she tried not to disturb the school's everyday life.

Wright thought he had given her the full tour of his institution, telling her everything about fifty years of the school's history, from the founders of the school to the year-end show. Considering it probably was one of the last days Brittany would be at the school, he decided he would show Brittany and her daughter one of the rehearsals for the so-called show, a sort of sweet gift for all the time she had spent there.

Brittany sat on the school theater's chair, her daughter on her lap, chewing on one of her hard plastic toys to ease her teeth coming through. Brittany smiled as she saw the students coming on the stage in line followed by their teacher. Memories of Glee club popped in her mind, she watched them full of sweet nostalgia. The teacher signed the instructions, some of them waving at Brittany; she became their friend since coming to the school. Wright came to sit by Brittany, holding two cups of tea.

"There you go, it can last a while, we'd be better with some tea." He said with a smile as she took the mug.

"Thanks. What is the show about?"

"It's a tap-dancing show."

"Awesome!"

"Yeah, I like those old-school shows. But the main difficulty of it is that the students are always early on the music."

"Why is that?"

"They feel the music vibrations, but they are actually faster to feel music than to hear it. So we have to teach them to be late on the music. It's actually really hard. This plus the actual tap-dancing itself of course."

"Fascinating."

"We can actually teach that to the youngest, dealing with the vibrations around helping them deal with their place in space, there's like a hundred tips about that."

"Like in the music class we were in last week, right?"

"Yes, exactly."

The students started to dance on the stage, do some stretching. Brittany loved it already.

She had particularly loved the music class a few days before, she had felt silly to believe that deaf children couldn't enjoy music because they couldn't hear or if they could it was only a little. She had been so amazed to see them playing drums, she had understood the pleasures they could have in their vibrations, but to also be able to play the clarinet, violin, and so many other instruments she would never have suspected. She had listened to the school orchestra with all the pride a mom could have, as if she had one of her children playing in front of her.

The first tapping sounds came to Sophia's ears and the baby started to fidget on her lap.

"You're dancing too, baby girl?" Brittany laughed out in her baby voice, as Sophia kept shaking. The little girl let go of her toy, mesmerized by what she was seeing. Children dressed in every color danced all around in rhythm, a full orchestra of sounds to hear and rainbows to watch. Brittany kept sipping her tea, touched by her daughter's enthusiasm and the nice show starting right in front of her.

"Those kids are good, Joseph!" She laughed, amazed. "That girl," She pointed out a girl with a yellow shirt, "She has a real talent."

"It's Maya, our Ginger Rogers. She won the Youth Tap Dance Championship last year."

"I'm not surprised!"

"She's a great kid; she helps the youngest after school. She's really committed to the school; this school is kind of her family. She comes from Texas; she had been placed in foster care when she was three. Her parents just gave her up when they found out they couldn't 'fix' her. She's been here ever since." Brittany watched the child dance with thoughtful eyes. "She doesn't have a lot apart from this school to hold on to, and her talent. She's definitely one of our biggest prides."

"Poor child..." She finished her tea, lost in her thoughts. The students ended their number and they all signed applauding, shaking their hands in the air. "You should applaud too Soph'!" Naturally, the little girl started to clap her hands. "Here, it's like this baby." She held her daughter's hands and made them twirl. "Just like when you sing with Grandma Alma!" Sophia loved it, she was laughing. "Can we go sit on the stage, please?"

"Of course dear!" Brittany held her daughter and walked through the rows of seats until they reached the stage, she climbed the stairs and sat there as the students started to rehearse their second number. Sophia couldn't stop shaking, thrilled to move.

"Let her dance too!" The teacher happily said, both speaking and signing. Brittany put Sophia on her feet, holding her by the hands. The little girl shook her hips again and again, making her mom giggle even more. The music stopped, some students had missed the steps.

"Oh!" Sophia protested, pleading for the dance to start again.

"They'll start again soon, hold on." She explained, as the teacher gave the student some more instructions, placing them back on stage and showing them the steps again. Every time she heard a foot tapping, Sophia shook her tiny unsteady legs, protesting with "Oh"'s each time they stopped.

Maya knew the steps too well; she kept daydreaming while the teacher explained it all over again for the other students. She watched Sophia, Brittany making her sit on her lap waiting for the class to start again. She peeked at her teacher, very busy giving her instructions. She went over by Brittany, taking a minute off of the rehearsal.

"Hi, I'm Maya."

"Hi!" She said out of habit.

"What is her name?" Brittany focused trying to remember how to sign the letters. "Sophia?" Brittany nodded. "Hello Sophia!" Maya shook her hand to get Sophia's attention, getting closer to them, her shoes making a lot of noise tapping on the wooden floor. Sophia looked where the sound came from. Maya did a few quick steps to entertain her.

"Oh!" Sophia laughed and babbled some other joyful sounds.

"She likes it." Brittany said, trying to sign with what she knew.

"I know, I can see it!" Maya danced few steps again.

"Look baby, Maya's dancing for you!" She put the baby back on her unsteady legs so she could dance with Maya.

"Oh!" Sophia kept repeating, babbling, giggling, having just so much fun. Brittany watched her daughter with pride and joy. Maya did some very light steps, that trembled on the floor like mice running. The baby locked her eyes with the dancing feet, light and elegant, absorbed by the marvelous sounds and movements. She tried to tap with her own shoes on the floor when Maya stopped, as both laughed.

Brittany let them continue until Maya's teacher called her back. Sophia pouted, but it was all forgotten when the class started to dance a new number again. Her daughter was definitely into this activity. She kept bouncing, shaking, fidgeting on her tiny legs. She thought about Maya, as she was watching her. Somehow, she gave her daughter one of her very first conversations, using dance steps instead of words, their feelings shown through their bodies instead of through speech. It melted Brittany's heart, her mind, everything that related to her motherhood, and she already liked Maya for that.

When Brittany went to sit back by Joseph in the chairs, she was wondering.

"Joseph, do you think Maya would be down to play a part in my movie?"

"Oh... It would be a huge chance for her, I don't think she would refuse, or would her foster parents."

"Good."

* * *

><p>Tell me what you think :)<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

_**Flashback**_

Santana gritted her teeth. One, two, three, she counted in her mind, and with a deep breath, she injected her daily hormones shot into her thigh. Then she rubbed the area, trying to ease the irritating pain.

She peeked out her bedroom window; it was a sunny day in spring, a lovely day blossoming in her mind. Like any other day, she would leave for the studio in a few hours, after her daily bitching session reading the news to Brittany over coffee. They would go out of their apartment together, kiss one last time in the parking lot before driving in the opposite directions. She would send Brittany a text during lunch time, maybe a word of love, maybe just a smiley face to make Brittany happy, just to remind her she was daydreaming about her all the time.

It was her eleventh injection, always at the same early hour, right after her shower. It was becoming really annoying; already tiring of the routing and clinging to the hope it would work. She was sure once she was pregnant all this bother would disappear like smoke in the wind, but in the meantime, it was still very irritating. All over the skin of her thighs, fading spots and bruises reminded her how much she wanted this baby. A fresh bruise appeared, meaning one day less until Brittany would hold her hand while Ferguson would inject something way more precious than hormones. She had to live another day looking forward to it, and later that night, it would mean a day closer to their dreams, she hoped for the first and last time.

Brittany came in, a towel wrapped around her.

"A hot shower, best way to embrace the day!" She sang playfully. She realized what Santana just finished doing, still rubbing her thigh with an annoyed face. She passed by her on her way to get her clothes, she kissed her forehead in support. "Only a few more to go, love."

"I can't wait..." With a sigh, she put the small syringe on the bedside cabinet, grabbed her own clothes lying over an armchair close to their bed and started to put them on. "This waiting is killing me Britt!"

"Believe me, me too Santana. Me too..."

"I'm thinking about it all the time, like, I can't do anything else other than think about it."

Brittany stopped putting her clothes on for a second to watch Santana with concern.

"I know we agreed on not telling anyone but... Maybe we should. I don't know..."

"Would it help you to do it?" Brittany turned around, staring into her closet deep in thought.

"It's freaking killing me to wait. And watch you every day doing this injection, it's just... I want it to work. I try my best to keep it cool but gosh, it's driving me crazy San..." She was exasperated.

She tried not to let her emotions flow, for Santana's sake, for her own, but it started to be really hard to bear. The fact is that only Jorge knew about it because they asked him for great obstetricians. They had made it very clear he couldn't tell anybody, not even his wife.

At first, they had wanted to keep it for themselves, thinking they would have less pressure if people didn't talk about it around them. However, Santana's heavy hormones treatment was getting on her nerves with every passing day, Brittany felt more and more useless watching her wife doing it and not being able to help her in any other way but supporting her with kind loving words.

"And I'm pretty sure you feel the same. Maybe we should talk about it... Maybe it would make it easier to deal with it." Santana bit her lip, it actually sounded like a good idea.

"Maybe we should tell you parents. Dad knows, we could tell my mom too."

"What about Chloe?" Santana choked laughing.

"God no!" They both took a minute to picture how awfully curious and frantic she would be if she knew. They both giggled.

"Definitely no." Brittany shook her head laughing. "I can already feel the questioning coming..."

"Not happening." Santana spat. "Besides, she would worry, don't you think?"

"Yeah totally... Maybe we could tell her when it's done. She'd understand we didn't want to talk about it before."

...

The following Saturday, both family were enjoying the Pierces' garden in the springtime sun. Jorge was fascinated by Andrew's instructions on how to build a shed on your own, showing off his little paradise proudly. Julie and Gloria were talking about anti-aging creams and other cosmetics. Both conversations were boring as hell for Chloe, she was fidgeting in her chair, playing with her phone. Another cozy Saturday afternoon, peacefully digesting the incredibly large lunch Judy had prepared.

Back in the house, Brittany and Santana were bracing themselves, watching them all by the window.

"How are we gonna get Chloe to leave though?"

"I have no idea..." Brittany shrugged.

"We have to come up with a plan." Santana tried to focus on something sneaky enough. "A pretext, something that'd make her leave the garden..." She kept brainstorming.

"And keep her busy, away..."

"Oh hold on! I got it! She probably hasn't done her homework yet!"

"So?"

"If we tell her to come home with us tonight, she'd have to rush to finish it before we leave!" Santana raised her hands up, surprised by her own good idea.

"You're a freaking genius! Oh my god, let's do this!" Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and led them towards the garden. They took their chairs and each sat next to Chloe on opposite sides.

"Why is the gangsta gang on me?" Chloe spat, she suspected they were hiding something, considering the large grins on their faces.

"Can't we chill with my little sister?"

"What did you do now?" Chloe was more than skeptical. "I got grounded two weeks the last time you helped yourselves in Dad's cellar. They still believe it's me."

"I forgot about that..." Brittany tried to hold a chuckle.

"Yo Chloe, we got something for you. What about you come at our place tonight, we get Puck to come and we all play poker?" Santana offered, winking.

Playing poker, Chloe's favorite card game, with Puck sounded like a whole night full of fun. Puck would probably bring a six pack of beer, her sister would let her drink one, she would trick them into letting her drink a few others, and they would probably play until dawn. It sounded good, really good.

On the other hand, she would probably go back home still a bit drunk, and she would be grounded, again, because of her sister's lack of righteousness when it came to setting a good example. The negotiating was on.

"But the parents will know I drank."

"We'll drive you to school Monday. They won't ever know about it." Brittany insisted.

"But you don't call the parents toasted like you did last time." She challenged her sister.

"We'll leave our phones in the bedroom." Chloe kept looking back and forth between them. "But hold on, I can't leave right now, I haven't done my homework yet!" Feeling her plan unfolding perfectly, Santana chuckled.

"We leave in about two hours. Would it be enough to finish it off?"

"Fuck yeah!" Chloe rushed to stand up. "Four beers!" Chloe announced her one condition.

"One." Brittany giggled, trying to save her sister from too much debauchery.

"Three, last offer."

"Go for two plus the one you'll drink behind our backs. That's enough to get you wasted." Santana ended, keen to talk to the parents.

"Sold!" Chloe was already running off to her room.

"I'm an awful sister, Santana." Brittany shrugged still a bit amused.

"If getting your sister plastered is bringing my baby sooner, I'd put her on a freaking IV of Tequila myself." Santana was more than serious. Hearing her saying 'my baby' for the first time ever erased her guilt right away.

Julie, back from the inside to get some tea, passed by them, "What's wrong with Chloe? She's running."

"We invited her to stay at our place tonight. Homework's still not done!" Brittany explained. "Hm, Mom, we'd like to talk about something with you, with all of you actually. Can you sit with us for a minute." She tried to remain calm, but was very excited.

"Okay sweetheart. One sec. _Andrew!_" She yelled through the garden. "_Come over here!_" Andrew and Jorge, fascinated by their conversation, exited the shed still talking and started to come close to them.

"Mom, could you come too, please?" Santana yelled.

Gloria, lying in a deckchair in the sun, went to sit around the garden table. As everyone took their seat, Brittany and Santana's heartbeats were drumming so hard in their chest, they didn't feel they could breathe properly.

"So..." Brittany braced herself. "We have an announcement."

"You're pregnant?" Andrew joked.

"You stupid fool!" Julie poked him on the shoulder, making everyone laugh. Jorge's laugh was tinged with one of that kind of smirks telling he knew things others didn't. Santana looked at Brittany with a reassuring smile.

"Actually, I'm going to get inseminated on Friday. We're trying to have a baby." As soon as she dropped the bomb, a huge wave of relief ran through their veins.

"My baby!" Gloria started, her eyes already tearing up.

"No kidding!" Andrew said surprised, as Julie held her hands against her heart.

"Hold on, she's not pregnant yet! We're just trying! We just wanted to let you know." Brittany softly explained, "Keeping it secret was tormenting us way too much so we wanted to tell you guys."

"And you don't say anything!" Gloria was dumbfounded by Jorge's grin.

"Dad knew because we asked him to recommend some doctors but we asked him to keep it quiet until we were ready to announce it."

"You knew and you didn't tell me! You didn't tell me!" Gloria was more than jealous.

"They made me promise! My fatherhood duties are unbreakable, that's all." His fake solemn tone emphasized the news a bit, confirmed the seriousness of their steps to have a baby.

"Anyway... Friday!" Brittany let out, thrilled to death.

The parents couldn't help themselves and started to bombard them with questions. How would they proceed, since when had they planned it. Every little detail was an unsuspected treasure. The couple explained how it worked, why Santana would get hospitalized for a day to get her eggs punctured and that by Thursday, they might be sealing the deal. And then, they would be in for three painful weeks of waiting.

When Chloe finally came back, the conversation naturally stopped and the couple decided to leave for a joyful night of Poker, hearts all light and hopes all high.

...

"Puck, you can't fleece me like that twice in a row! I highly disagree!" Chloe threw her cards all over the table in a fit of rage.

"You can't do anything against Puckausaurus' magic fingers, girl." He said in a dopey voice while collecting all the cards to play a third round.

"Wanky..." Santana let out and Brittany poked her.

"Hey, Chloe speaking here, can you keep your sexual comments to yourself please?" Chloe stopped as Santana raised her hand in front of her.

"Sweetie, we live in a mad world, you're gonna get some action at some point anyhow." Santana giggled.

"I still can't believe you haven't done anything yet though." Brittany commented.

"Remember when we were 17, the night you guys did body shots? God, that was hot!"

"I never found my bra again after that night, man..." Brittany giggled, drinking her beer.

"Minors over here!" Chloe sighed.

"Take your bottle baby, it's gonna be alright! It's just a bad dream!" Santana kidded with her baby voice, took the top off a beer and gave her the bottle.

"Nice, really nice San." Chloe however took the beer and took a large gulp.

"She might be shy but she knows how to drink." Puck said, dealing the cards.

"She's the wisest of the Pierce's but she's still a Pierce!" Brittany shrugged laughing. When she turned her head to see Santana, she found her opening herself a beer. She bent a little to talk to her only.

"You shouldn't be drinking with, you know... _the treatment_." Brittany whispered barely audibly.

"It's just one beer, besides, it might be my last." Santana answered with a loving smile. At the thought, Brittany backed off. After all, she was right, it might have been her last, her heart hoped that with all its strength. And if it was, she totally deserves this one last beer. Santana stroked her arm, "Stop worrying, really. It's all good, Honey."

Days passing by, Santana had been more and more moved by Brittany's behavior, already taking care of her even when there were no reason to. She loved it, not necessarily the fact of being taken care of but most of all that Brittany had already found her place, her role, what kind of mom she wanted to be. It was easy to guess how caring Brittany would be once she was actually pregnant, and how all the affection and caring would be automatically shared with their baby. _Their baby_, yes, Santana easily pictured Brittany taking care of _their baby_.

"Hush hush hush..." Puck commented at Brittany and Santana whispering behind his and Chloe's backs.

"You're just afraid our strategy will be better than yours, that's all." Santana spat loudly, all smiles, and took another sip with a wink for Brittany.

"Yeah, and if someone could actually give me just a hint on what a poker strategy is, it would be awesome..." Chloe pouted, very sad to have lost twice in a row. Puck let one of Chloe's card get a little too far off the table, the card slipped.

"Let me just finish dealing, then we'll explain." Puck told the youngest in a kind tone. Reassured, she bent to get her card off the ground and as she did, she peeked at Santana's thigh unintentionally, their closeness around the table made it difficult otherwise. It wasn't even because of Santana's short skirt, but Chloe saw the lowest dots and bruises on her thigh's, leaving no doubt about the fact she had been given injections. Chloe quickly sat back, and avoided her look until Puck started to explain strategy to her. However, as the night went by, she couldn't stop herself from studying Santana's every move, looking for an answer.

...

After a restful Sunday punctuated by aspirins and complaints, Brittany had to wake her sister up to go to school. Chloe hated Monday mornings, who didn't, but she hated mornings in general. Chloe kept grumbling from the bottom of the bed what an awful sister Brittany was to dare wake her up, threatening a few times to take her revenge. Brittany finally got her to surface when she offered to make pancakes if she would actually wake up.

Brittany left the room, leaving Chloe some time to wake up, and joined Santana in their room.

"_Pff, I just don't know where to do it anymore, I have marks everywhere!_" Chloe heard Santana say, as she made her way towards to bathroom. She stopped to listen better through the slightly ajar door.

"_You can do it there, they are fading there anyways." _

"_Yeah, you're right. Let's go..."_ Nothing came out from a while. Chloe pricked up her ears. Santana breathed loudly.

"_At least, that was the last."_ She heard her sister encourage and the sound of a kiss.

"_Yeah, best news of the week so far!"_ They laughed, _"I'm starting to stress about this afternoon though Britt..._"

"_Don't worry, you heard what she said, the hospitalization is just a mere formality because of the anesthesia. Come on; let's just not think about it just yet, we gotta make Chloe some breakfast before we leave." _

"_Ugh why can't we eat before anesthesia... I'm starving!"_

"_You know what; I won't eat either, in support."_ Santana laughed.

"_This is the worst idea you ever had! Go eat; I'll just pack my bag so we can leave for good when you guys are finished." _Another kiss.

"_As you wish." _Chloe quickly moved out of the door when she heard someone coming closer. She faked yawning, in the middle of the corridor, when Brittany opened the door.

"You're up!" She said all smiles. "Jump in the shower, you stink!" She kidded, already heading to the kitchen. Chloe just smiled back, dumbfounded by what she just heard.

In the bathroom, Chloe tried to find any clue that could help her understand what might be going on. It was very unusual for Brittany to keep secrets from her. She checked the cupboards, the products around the sink, but there was nothing more than cosmetics or aspirin from the previous day.

She thought that if Santana had a problem, she would have told her. She was a little disappointed. On the other hand, Santana didn't look like if she was having a problem; neither did Brittany for the record. It just didn't make any sense to Chloe. She took her shower remembering all the clues and trying to make them fit together but all she came up with was a huge cloud of confusion.

Deep in thought, she finished showering, dressed herself, and went to the kitchen where Brittany was finishing up her cooking.

"Right on time, lil Sis!" Brittany gave her a full plate of pancakes with a large smile.

"Thanks."

"You alright?" Brittany found her sister a little down, she usually was frantic when it was time to eat.

"Yeah." Brittany let go, figuring she was just in a bad mood. They started to eat in silence. "San doesn't eat?"

"She already did, she woke up early." Brittany lied with a reassuring smile. Santana came in, dressed in comfy clothes, with no makeup and her hair tied up in a messy bun on her head. It was very far from the 'working Santana' look, made of high heels, designers clothes and wavy or straight hair, not to mention the perfect makeup. 'Working Santana' was ready for runways; this Santana was only ready for bedtime.

"Hey!" She happily greeted, ruffling Chloe's hair. She went to take a glass and put some water in it.

"Okay, can someone just tell me what the hell is going on?" Chloe lost it. "What are you hiding from me?" Brittany startled, her fork falling in her plate, as Santana hurriedly put her full glass on the worktop.

"Hm..." Santana didn't know if she should explain or not.

"You guys are not dressed to go to work, and I know that you're having injections, so please, I want to know!" Chloe was worried; Santana wouldn't get hospitalized if she had just a little sickness, or a simple treatment for whatever it might be.

"But how do you know that...?" Brittany let out. Her sister always managed to get the tiniest details and put things together, she knew that, that was why they didn't tell her by the way. But she felt they hadn't let anything filter through this time.

"That's not the point! Are you sick San?" She asked her directly, worry beating out her disappointment.

"She's not, she's..." Both of her face lightened a little. "She's having her ovum punctured so we can have a baby. Then they'll be impregnated, and she'll be inseminated Friday."

"Huh!" Chloe startled, making both women laugh. "HUH!" She kept saying, so very surprised.

"We didn't tell you 'cause we didn't want you to worry, besides you would have grilled us with questions, so..." Santana softly said, tapping on Chloe's shoulders to reassure her.

"We planned to tell you after, don't worry Sis, we didn't mean to keep you in the dark."

"... Do the parents know?" Chloe almost whispered.

"We told them last Saturday."

"Huh..." Chloe kept repeating, her eyes wide-open as she took the news.

"Aren't you happy for us?" Brittany inquired at a sister's blank expression.

"Of course I am!" Her face suddenly shone. "I'm gonna be an aunt! Gonna be an aunt!" The couple laughed.

"Not yet!" Santana corrected, with a sweet smile.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to... I'm gonna be an aunt!" She chanted. "Someday!" She corrected herself, indicating with her hands she got very clearly nothing was sealed at the moment. "But you gotta have a girl, Auntie Chloe wantz her niece!"

"Boy or girl, it doesn't matter, we just want a baby, got it?" Santana softly said, drinking her water.

"Crystal!"

"Okay, I'll just go finish getting ready, hurry up guys, you'll be late!" Santana pointed to the clock on the wall as she exited the room.

"Brittany, I want a girl, you know girls are way cooler than boys..." Chloe tried to negotiate, making her sister burst out laughing.

...

As they exited the Hospital the following Friday, Santana was holding onto Brittany's arm. Her stomach was very tense, she definitely wouldn't do this every day, she thought. A reassuring hand stroking her back, they kept walking slowly towards their car. Brittany protectively opened the car's door for Santana, even if she didn't really need it. Brittany started the car, Ferguson had told her in private to drive very softly, and the vibrations could be quite unpleasant for Santana at the moment. Unpleasant that was an understatement considering how Santana spent the whole ride grumbling how awful the bumps on the road were for her. The whole ride home she had her elbow on the window's edge, her hand to her forehead, hardly waiting for them to get home. Brittany peeked at her from time to time, to always see the same happy face hidden under a big mask of annoyance.

"You wanna know something funny?" Brittany offered with a smirk. After all, Santana could use something to distract her from each bump in the road.

"Spill it." Santana slightly turned her head to look at Brittany.

"Last night, I had a dream..." She held a chuckle. "Ferguson was trying to relax us with a joke before she actually..._ does_ it."

"What joke?" Santana grinned, her face finally looking as light as her heart felt. Brittany had a hard time keeping her laughter from exploding out loud.

"She..." She took a deep breath to overshadow the growing laughter inside. "She made the syringe talk, she nicknamed it George." She started to chuckle loudly.

"... What the fuck?" Santana giggled at her wife's colorful mind.

"It was something like... Picture her with a deep voice, shaking the stuff to make it talk, like _'Hi Santana and Brittany, my name is George, and I'm here to help you make Lady babies._' "

Santana stared at her wife perplexed. Two seconds passed by, the car totally silent. Santana burst into laughter that actually released the pressure she had held on her shoulders all day. Brittany kept going.

"'_I'm coming from China, that's where my hot six pack of a syringe has been casted, it's quite a nice area by this time of the years, trees are blossoming._' And then she was like, '_Enough of this funny business, spread your legs, Santana!'_" She peeked at her, Santana was almost crying and laughing. "And I was feeling awful 'cause I thought she was funny but you were all so serious, I felt so frustrated with my laughter, that was awful!"

"Damn' Britt..." Santana wiped her tears, shaken by heavy giggles. 'I'm glad you hadn't told me that _before_ we actually did it! I would have never made it through the whole insemination, my love."

"Oh my god, I hadn't thought about it before! I just remembered it actually..." She was surprised to only think about it now, internally congratulating her subconscious for keeping it for after the insemination. She chuckled, shifting gears. "Imagine the _disaster_ if I had remembered! I would have never stopped laughing with all the stress! It would have never ended!" She kept exclaiming, eyes on the road.

"But she _sooo_ could have done it by the way, it's so like her!"

"I know, right!" She drove into their building parking lot.

"I wish I could have dreams like yours sometimes." Santana softly said, unlocking her safety belt as Brittany stopped the car. "They always make me laugh so hard."

"Hold on..." Brittany rushed to go open Santana's door and help her step out. The fact that her stomach was still so tense made it a little difficult, she gritted her teeth.

"At least, your dream made me forgot about that for ten minutes." Santana smiled.

Brittany opened every door and pushed every button on their way back into their apartment, facilitating her wife's every move, as if she was setting up a red carpet for her maybe baby hopefully to be born princess. As soon as she entered their apartment, Santana rushed as much as she could to curl up with a blanket on the living-room sofa.

It was still quite early, so Santana would have to rest all day; an idea she had previously thought ridiculous, not moving for a whole day was a non-existent concept in her mind. However, the pain in her stomach quickly convinced her otherwise.

Brittany came back from the kitchen, two cups of tea on a tray she gently set on the coffee table.

"You're sure you don't want to go to bed instead?"

"I'll move from that couch only if a massive nuclear explosion happens. Or an alien invasion, I don't know..." Santana grumbled from under her blanket. Brittany sat on the ground so she could be closer to Santana, curled up on the sofa like a poor little thing.

"Tea?" She peeked at Santana, nodding. She clumsily took the cup from Brittany's hand, and sipped it the best she could considering her position.

"No bed, you're sure?" Brittany insisted, concerned.

"A big bang or nothing." Santana half-joked.

"Got it." They drank quietly.

They sat in silence together for a while, it was a weird day. They didn't really know if they were supposed to be happy, stressed, deep in thought, or what now it was all done. They kept flickering through different states of mind, unable to find the right one to fit their mood.

They replayed the morning scene over and over in their minds. Brittany remembered their hands getting sweaty while waiting for Ferguson to arrive, their last look, and their last kiss before Ferguson had done what she was meant to do. The deep breath they had taken right after thrilled that maybe, the deal might have been sealed.

For her part, Santana remembered her wife stroking her hand, all warm and soft, all the information their obstetrician had been telling them; knowing facts always eased her and Ferguson had picked up on that right away. The small countdown, one to three, regulated by her breath. Brittany's reassuring smile, her eyes filled with joy. The unpleasant sensation, her tensing stomach.

"George is an idiot." Santana spat, breaking the silence.

"George who, honey?"

"George the syringe." Brittany smiled, her dream was actually about to become a life-time joke.

"Why is that?" She challenged.

"This fucking bastard could have told me how shitty I would feel after! '_Don't worry Santana, you'll just feel as if you were having your period_'," She imitated Ferguson's voice, "My ass, George makes my ovaries do that," She gave her cup to Brittany to show her fist slowly twirling in what seemed like a painful sensation, pulling her fist back under the blanket right away. "He fucking makes them square dance in my vagina."

Brittany laughed at her sarcasms as she put their cups on the table. She turned around a little so she could kiss Santana's cheek, only place she could reach; only her eyes and her nose were left peeking out of the blanket. Seeing the brunette wriggle a little to free her mouth from the covers, she immediately granted her a kiss. She slid an arm around her, held her a little, warming her with strokes.

"Is there anything you'd like to do, that might make you feel better? Maybe we can watch a movie, or I can get that book you were reading last night..."

"Nah, I'm fine like thi-" Santana's phone rang loudly. "Can you get it for me please?"

"Of course, hold on." She quickly jumped up, found it right away in Santana's purse that contrary to hers, was always all neat inside. She lent it to her.

"Help yourself." Santana said, not wanting to move at all, not even a single finger, not even to answer her own phone.

"It's a text from your mom, _'I hope everything went great, call me if you need anything. Lots of love for you two_', she added a '_three_' in brackets with a question mark and a smiley face." Brittany smiled at the little extra-comment.

"Answer 'It's all good, call you tomorrow xoxo'. Don't really feel like talking right now..." Brittany typed focused. "Britt..." She added with an unusual deep tone.

"Yeah baby?"

"Do we call Sam? Or text him...?"

"Speak of the devil..." Brittany commented as Santana's phone started to ring. "Hey Sam, we just got home!"

"_Good, how was it?_" Santana listened to the conversation, Brittany putting the phone right between them.

"I'm feeling awful, like my vagina is right about to explode!" Santana shouted and Sam laughed disgusted.

"_Santana, that's gross!_"

"That's because of her hormones, don't mind her." Brittany kidded with a wink for her wife.

"_If the IVF works, you're in trouble Brittany! Anyway guys, I was just calling quickly to get some news... When will you know if it worked?_"

"In about three weeks, Santana has some blood tests booked in two weeks, and then they'll send us the results." Brittany explained calmly.

"_Noted, I'll call you back around then-" _Someone called Sam._ "I gotta go, the next toddler to torture on my list is here!_"

"Have fun with the drill!"

"_Always have, always will... Oka-_"

"Hey Sam, _thanks_... " Brittany added with a sudden soft and deep voice.

"_Anytime Blondie!_"

"Bye..."

"_See ya soon girls, bye!_" She hung up, and stared at the phone for a while with a sweet smile.

...

Starting a new week was kind of an ordeal, after spending four days resting at home, remembering every detail of what they had just done. Brittany and Artie were working on a short film, but images added up on the screen without her being aware of them. She couldn't stop sighing at each sentence, each look of love that made her miss Santana even more. Quietly, she grabbed her purse, looked for a phone and texted.

_**To Santana :  
><strong>Hey babe_

She was surprised to get an answer right away, Santana was usually away in a recording room or on a meeting. She rarely answered her texts except at lunchtime.

_**To Brittany :**_

_Hey, can't focus either?_

_**To Santana :  
><strong>Nope. Artie doin' da wrk 4 me. U feel betr?_

_**To Brittany :  
><strong>Not really. I postponed a meeting this morning, didn't feel like doing it :(_

"Brittany, are you texting?" Artie asked half-annoyed.

"No!" She hurriedly stuffed her phone in her pocket. Artie puffed, he felt like the bad teacher catching the guilty student red-handed. Her phone buzzed in her pocket, making Artie sigh with a smile.

"You know, we can take a break or something..." Brittany opened her phone again.

_**To Brittany :**_

_Wanna go somewhere? I just spent half an hour watching the rain fall, Carla won't miss me if I leave now. Movie?_

"It's just that Santana's sick, I'm worried." She explained.

"What does she have?"

"She had stomach pains this morning." She tried to hold her smile. Santana wasn't really sick, she just felt still a little tense, but nothing that deserved to be called 'sick'.

"I think she'll survive, Brittany." Her phone buzzed again.

_**To Brittany :**_

'_Marie-Antoinette' is showing again at the movies, in about an hour._

"Actually... she's really not well at all, I should probably go watch her..." Artie huffed.

"We're almost done with the mixing, you can't leave right now."

"Everything you mix is gold anyhow, don't worry about that." She started to grab her things.

"You're leaving, really?"

"Put the film in your name only, put me in the credits."

"Brittany, it's not cool!"

"I'll owe you one, promise!" She poked him playfully and rushed out.

_**To Santana :  
><strong>Comin'! Artie's mad but whatevs._

_**To Brittany :**_

_Okay, see you there sweety :)_

After a good ten minutes waiting, Santana finally saw Brittany's car entering the other side of the parking lot. She rushed to get out of her own car, feeling all of a sudden way lighter. More than escaping from work or going to the movies, she just wanted to be with her, a little longer than their daily time together. She desperately needed her these days, any second away from her made her sad.

She almost ran through the parking lot, holding her purse on her shoulder so it wouldn't fall considering her pace. Brittany heard her heels pound the concrete ground like drums, she turned around after locking her car.

"Honey, really, you shouldn't be running." Brittany said welcoming her in her arms, Santana throwing herself in.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait to see you..." She breathed out in her neck. With an excuse like that Brittany would overlook the running.

"I'd still rather you not run." She insisted, leading them inside the movie theater.

Waiting for the movie to start, Brittany nibbled some popcorn while looked around. The theater was almost empty, only a few people here and there for this mid-afternoon show. She was actually much better there than at work, with Santana by her side, fighting to find a position on the tiny seat that would ease her stomach discomfort.

"Maybe if you kick off your shoes and settle on two seats?" Brittany offered, aware of Santana's inner fight. "The theatre is empty anyways, nobody would mind."

"If the theatre employee sees me like that, he'll make me move." The suggestion was actually tempting.

"If you feel good like that, he'll have to go over my dead body to make you move." She chuckled, but still being very serious.

"Okay then..." Santana slowly bent to zip her boots down and kick them off. In the meantime, Brittany pulled the arm-rest up, so Santana could lie against her.

"Gosh yes... " She let out relieved, she stretched her legs on the seat next to hers. She cuddled against Brittany, putting her head in the crook of her neck. "I'm officially ready for the movie!" They giggled. As the trailers went by on the screen, a few people kept coming in the theatre, but Brittany was glad, nobody sat by them. The theatre employee passed by the row behind them and tapped on their seat.

"Miss, your feet please." Santana slowly turned around, and the employee held his breath. "Oh! Okay... It's alright. Enjoy the movie." He left in a hurry realizing who they were, which made them giggle even more.

"See, I didn't even have to fight, he got it right away!" Brittany kidded as the movie started. The theater went dark, the movie started.

Santana loved historical movies because it made her dream, travel far away from reality. Of course she liked fantasy, musicals, Brittany's favorites, but it lacked those facts Santana loved just too much. She liked to come back home after a movie and do further research on the subject if she had liked the movie, she would buy books about it, she would let her gather facts to feed her curiousity. A good hour later, they both were into the movie.

"_Magnificent. We have a female elephant in our Austrian menagerie." _One of the characters said to Louis.

"_Well perhaps, we could arrange a marriage." _ Louis said.

"I can't believe he still hadn't shagged Marie-Antoinette yet...!" Brittany whispered.

"So bad, he's so wimpy, look at that!" Santana started.

"_So I thought we could have a little talk about the marriage bed."_

"_The doctor said I was fit."_

"_Good! What goes on exactly?... I understand you have a certain passion for locks."_

"_Yes."_

"Oh my gosh, Louis is such a loser..." Santana giggled.

"_Well sometimes, when a key doesn't quite fit..."_

Brittany put her arm around Santana's shoulder, relaxed a bit as the movie went by. She casually rested her hand on her hip. On the screen, Marie-Antoine finally became pregnant and was delivering. As the scene kept playing, Brittany started to stroke her hip, unconsciously, until she let it wander to Santana's stomach. Santana peeked at her wife, her eyes locked on the screen, totally lost in the scene's aura. Baby crying sounds filled the theatre, Santana felt her hand clenching on her stomach. She smiled, passed her hand upon Brittany's. The sensation brought the blonde back to Earth, and relax her fingers right away.

"_She's unconscious, we must get her air! Please! The Queen needs air!"_

"It must have been horrible to deliver like that..." Santana breathed out, the thought of dozens of people looking at her while delivering was scaring her. "Without any medication, nothing... I hope that mine will be-" She stopped in her sentence, caught up by her deepest hopes. "_Would_ be easy..."

Brittany grinned wide at her wife playing safe and turning her sentences into conditional ones. This time, she stroked, aware of Santana's stomach. She didn't really know what to say, she herself feared to say her hopes out loud. Even if the routine would gain the upper hand on the wait in the following weeks, the thought that Santana might be pregnant would color their every actions, their every moments. They already wanted the pregnancy to be a reality but they would have to be content with letting it remain a hope and dream until they got confirmation.

...

When Brittany opened their mailbox that day, she absolutely didn't expect to find a quite so heavy letter from the Hospital. Her heart fluttered. She let her purse fall, and put all her mail close to it on the ground. She hurried to find her cellphone in her messy bag, cursing herself for never tidying it. When she finally found it, she thought Santana wasn't quick enough to answer her call. She called her once, twice, on her way back into their apartment, bitching in the elevator. She tried a third time.

"Come on, I love you but god you're so annoying sometimes..." She kept bitching, the dial tone getting on her nerves as she wondered how Santana could not be answering her phone in such times. "Come on love..."

"Hi babe!" Santana finally picked up after running to get her phone, her voice shaken by mad breaths. "I was recording-"

"Get in here already; I have your blood test results!" She unlocked her door and chucked her stuff here and there in a hurry.

"Oh god." Santana exclaimed, from the bottom of her heart. "Fuck, fuck..." Brittany heard Santana grabbed something, all about clinking sounds, probably her keys, her purse or something like that. She heard her running again.

"Don't run!"

"I'm not!" She heard her steps slow down a little; she was probably running as slow as she could in the studio's corridors. "_Carla!_" Santana yelled. "_CARLA!_" She almost deafened Brittany.

"_Here!_"

"_I gotta go, cancel the next recording!_"

"_But they're already here, they're waiting!_"

"_Then manage on your own, I don't fucking care, do something but I gotta go!_" Brittany kept listening in on their conversation with a sweet but anxious smile. Listening to them was at least more entertaining than staring at the white envelope waiting for Santana to finally get in there. Brittany sat in the kitchen; she decided she would wait for her there.

"_But I don't know what to do! When will you be back, maybe they can wait!_"

"_Jesus, Carla!_" Santana was beyond exasperated. "_PUCK! Puck, get your sweet little ass in here!_" Brittany heard Santana open door on door.

"_What?_" She heard the man's dopey voice answering.

"_Help Carla. Gotta rush, bye!_" She started to run again but reminded herself not to, Brittany smiled hearing the steps slowing but keeping a nervous pace. "I'm on my way, I'm out of the building Britt. Have you tried to see through the envelope paper?" At her wicked suggestion, Brittany laughed.

"No, I'm waiting for you."

"How do you always manage to remain so calm?" The car started, she clicked her safety belt in.

"I am _not_ calm right now..." She peeked at her hand, slightly trembling over the sealed envelope.

"_Move your car, you filthy idiot!_"

"Babe, drive safely, _please_..."

"Well, I would drive safely if this bastard moves his _fucking old banger_!" She guessed Santana yelled by the window. She kept yelling at anyone in her way, her colorful language at its best. Brittany listened carefully as she read Santana's name on the envelope, over and over again. Minutes went by, but none of them ever considered getting off the phone, they just desperately needed each other. "Shit, Lawrence parked his car in my place again! We gotta do something about that though... Fuck it, I'm parking in Thomas'." Brittany chuckled, already picturing in her mind Thomas Cocker, their embittered neighbor banging on their door until they would move her car and Santana would probably yell 'The cocker's barking again.'

"Where are you?" Santana's steps were getting louder on a tile floor until they stopped.

"In the elevator. I'm almost there." She heard the small sounds of the floors passing by, she hung up.

Brittany stood up and went to the door, opened it in a hurry and peeked down the empty corridor, the letter in her hand. Her heart was rushing; she felt it pulsing in her ears. She scrutinized the elevator's doors, just few feet away. She heard it reaching their floor, she almost stopped breathing. Santana came in running.

"Don't run Santana!"

"I'm not, see, just striding in!" She slowed her quick steps with an anxious smile. She entered quickly and threw her stuff right on Brittany's, just like the blonde had fifteen minutes earlier. She didn't even realize, she grabbed the envelope out of Brittany's hand and started to rip the paper off without Brittany's consent. Actually, the blonde was just relieved not to be the one doing it, as cold sweat appeared on her skin.

A few papers were stapled together, Santana read out loud.

"Bla bla bla, my levels are good, bla bla... What the fuck does it mean? Why do they always have to use medical terms..."

"Hold on, let me see." Brittany came closer by her side and they both kept reading. "These previous results indicate the patient is currently-"

"Expecting, estimated at 3 weeks in!" Santana finished her voice suddenly all warm and singing.

"It worked!" Brittany started, her blue eyes shining like two big diamonds. Santana kept reading the same little sentence with a huge grin. "What does the rest say?" Brittany urged. Santana flipped to the second paper stapled.

"It's a vitamins prescription..." She breathed out, feeling happily shocked. A small pink note was added, with Ferguson's handwriting on it. "Congratulations... I must admit you are very lucky, it rarely happens on the first try. I'm really happy to say that I expect both of you to come for your first sonogram on April 14th, 2PM. Find attached your vitamin prescription, take once a day with your breakfast. I wish you a very happy alcohol-free celebration! Madeleine Ferguson."

Santana needed to read everything out loud, every single letter, even their obstetrician's name to confirm to herself she wasn't dreaming. Her eyes were locked on the written note, so she didn't see Brittany was about to stroke her face until she felt soft fingers brush her cheek. She looked up, stared lovingly at her blue eyes.

* * *

><p>Longest chapter ever written... I hope you guys enjoyed it :) Tell me what you think!<br>Thanks a lot Jen for beta'ing :)


	20. Chapter 20

Brittany breathed heavily, putting her heavy bag on her shoulder. She felt her heart tighten in her chest, the huge hole starting to hurt. She checked her first class ticket and her passport, before looking at her wife. Large, dark, wet eyes were staring back.

"We did it so many times, San..." She tried to reassure Santana, on the edge of crying.

It was true, how many times had they been to the airport, had left each other in front of the security desk, kissing one last time. Each time they felt their hearts break and found it hard to breathe, but they always found a way through. The goodbyes had been hard, but then the daily routine had taken over the emptiness until they were finally reunited.

But this time, everything felt different. So much had changed. They hadn't been separated in months, almost years. Santana would miss her; her laugh, like when Santana was cooking in the kitchen, and Brittany made Sophia wait for her food by playing with her. Their combined laughter always made her happy. Her sweet voice, when Sophia was crying at night, saying, "Don't worry, I'm going" always followed by a kiss. Her perfume, the one Santana always smelled when she took her shower after Brittany, the sweet scent filling the room. She would miss her in every action, Santana was sure about that, and it felt terrible.

Brittany, for her part, knew perfectly well she was lying to herself while trying to reassure her wife. She kept telling Santana how they should be used to it by now, but she knew it was a lie. She'd miss her wife of course, but she'd miss her baby too. She would worry the whole time that something might happen while she was away, the long hours it would take to get back. She was terrified at the idea of nights alone in her room. Brittany was the most sociable of the couple, she loved being surrounded by her family, she loved hearing people talk, laugh, even yell around her, it was her very own family, and it was life. She needed her family.

It felt somehow silly, she was just leaving for eight weeks, and she was an adult, she wasn't supposed to be so sad. She needed to focus on her work, her responsibility towards Annette to make this film brilliant. But she was about to talk about, to hear about motherhood for ten hours a day, for the two months to come, when her own baby was overseas. It sounded heartbreaking.

Santana was trembling on her feet, stressed as hell. Little Sophia was bouncing on her hip, her mother's pace wasn't nice at all, she felt something was weird. She kept sucking on her pacifier.

"I know but it's all different now..." Santana's weak voice cracked through the airport's noise. She kept fighting her tears.

"I know... I know..." She kept repeating, bending to kiss Santana on her cheek. Her lips couldn't stop kissing the soft skin, feeling the light warmth of sadness filling her rosy cheeks. She let her lips wander to Santana's, trying to put their goodbye kiss off.

"_Mrs. Pierce, last call._" With a sad nod, Santana indicated she should go, it would be hard no matter what.

"I love you, both of you." Brittany eventually said. A last look, a last peck on her daughter's head, and she was away.

…...

Back home, Santana couldn't get rid of her sad expression. She mixed her salad while Sophia's food was warming in the microwave. Deep in thought, she put the large bowl on the table, and went to grab two plates from the kitchen cupboard out of habit. When she realized Brittany wasn't there to eat, she just sighed heavily. The microwave dinged. She took the plate and put it away, she grabbed Sophia's food and gave the little girl, all enthusiastic in her high chair, a whole plate of mild carrot puree.

"Let's eat!" She faked some enthusiasm, pulling from her inner mother.

She started to make her daughter eat. Sophia kept putting her fingers in the plate, spreading carrot everywhere around. Santana would have scolded her, on any other day, but she just didn't have the strength or the will on that particular day. At least, the warm puree on her fingertips made her laugh; sounds of happiness were definitely needed in this household today. Sophia knocked her plate over, a sure sign she had enough.

"Soph'..." She grumbled carrot puree all over the table and her own clothes. She leaned on her elbow, lethargic. "Whatever..." She took some puree from the table with a fingertip and put it on Sophia's cheek, making the baby laugh even more. Sophia kept hitting her table, splashing puree everywhere.

"Oh, so you wanna have a food fight, baby?"

She put some puree on her cheeks again; they were both in for a bath after this, anyway. Sophia laughed hysterically and she finally dragged a smile out of her mom. Sophia threw her spoon on Santana's lap, ruining her trousers.

"Hm nice shot baby! You're going to be so thug at school with that kind of stroke." Santana laughed. Someone rang. "Shit!"

She took her daughter out of her chair, all covered in puree. She prayed it wasn't her mother at the door, she could already hear her reprimand about wasting food. "Who's there?" She asked through the entry phone.

"Quinn!"

"Thank God." Santana whispered for herself. "It's open!" She managed to press the button to let Quinn in the building, with an unsteady finger.

"Okay, I'm in!" Santana peeked at her daughter and wiped the puree off of her face. Quinn knocked on the door.

"Oh wow..." Quinn laughed at the mess all over them. "Having fun?"

"A blast!" Santana gestured for her to come in with a smile. "What are you doing here anyway? Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I figured you could use some company tonight, but who needs a friend when you can have a plate of baby food huh?" Quinn joked.

"Yeah..." Santana chuckled. "It's good to see you. But I kinda need to clean this little devil..." She thought out loud, a little embarrassed to make her friend wait.

"You know what, I miss some mother-daughter time, I could use some Auntie Q-Devil Soph' time." She said with a wink.

"Okay," Santana smiled widely, "Let's go get you clean!" She told her daughter in her baby voice.

Both friends sat on the tiled floor of the bathroom, right against the bathtub while Sophia was playing in the water.

"Quack-quack!" Quinn mimicked a duck with her hand to make Sophia laugh. "Quack-quack!" Sophia literally burst into laughter, splashing water and bubbles everywhere. "Oh my god, she's just too cute. Babies are just too, _too_ cute!"

"Help yourself..." Santana giggled at her friend having fun. Quinn obviously missed children around. Sophia threw one of her toys at her mother, right in her face, leaving soap bubbles all over Santana's face. Quinn laughed loudly.

"Soph'!" She almost yelled, half-scolding.

"Christ, you should see yourself, you're a mess Santana!" Santana just sighed, starting to giggle. "Oh hold on!" Quinn looked for her phone in her pocket.

"What are you doing?" Santana asked, removing the bubbles from her eye.

"Don't take it off!" Quinn opened her phone and tried to take a picture. "I'm sending Brittany a picture of you so she could see how messed up you are on your own..." Santana faked a surprised expression after putting some bubbles back on her face, her hand covering her mouth, her eyes all wide, to make the picture better, funnier. Click. "Oh my god, that's hilarious, look!" Santana was shaking, she was giggling so hard.

"She's gonna love that, when she gets off the plane." She said with a sigh, remembering how much she already missed her. Quinn saw her face turn from happiness to sadness in a second. She poked her shoulder.

"Come on Santana..." The Latina faked a smile. "You know what, I'm happy for you actually."

"You're happy my wife is 4,000 miles away?"

"No! I'm happy you're still that in love you miss each other like teenagers!"

"Oh that... Nobody could stop being in love with Brittany. She's... " Her face shone, as bright as Brittany was her own sunshine, everyday.

"You know, I always say that people get married for three reasons. Exhibit A, they're in love, this fleeting feeling of love sticking to your heart but that can fade so easily. Always ends up divorce." Santana kept listening to her friend, lost in her own mood. "Exhibit B, they love each other, they have this safe and secure love run by reason, pretty solid but with a huge lack of magic, rarely make it through the midlife crisis, there's not enough adventure... and exhibit C, they're in love _and_ they love each other too, and there's love everywhere, in their heart, forever acting like cheesy teens but with the inner need to make each other happy, committed mind and soul-"

"So what exhibit are we, according to you?"

"Exhibit C, all the way!" Quinn smirked. "I'm just so happy to see you miss her, like you could have missed her when you were 17. And you will probably miss her just as much when you're 70. I'm happy to know you guys will always be together."

Santana was fully aware of that, but it was still good to hear again and remember. All of a sudden, the emptiness in her heart meant something; it felt natural, quite easy to overcome. A month, maybe two, that was such a small amount of time in a lifetime of love. She peeked at her rings, she played with them, her thumb nail scratching the precious white gold.

"I'm happy for her. It's good to see parents having such a strong bond." Quinn said, playing with Sophia. "I know she'll have a wonderful life. Full of amazing things..." She ticked the baby.

"Thanks Quinn..." Santana thought she was lucky to have such a good, caring friend. "Life... Who could have guessed it, huh? One day, you're Cheerios messing around in a Janitor's closet, the next day, you're singing in crowded stadiums, and you finally end up all covered with carrot puree and bath bubbles," She laughed, "Who knew! Life is so unpredictable!"

"I knew you and Brittany would be married by now! _That_ was predictable."

"So what comes next, Quinn-slash-Irma Fabray?"

"That I don't know... Maybe a TV show! 'The Pierce's kitchen!'"

"God no!" She laughed. "Imagine the disaster!"

"Or maybe... a larger family!" Santana looked down and smirked. "Ah! Touché Milady! You've been bitten by the housewife's bug!"

"Please..." Santana smirked harder. "Have you seen this piece of a hot Mama? I could never end up housewife."

Sophia threw another toy, right on her mom's shirt. Quinn burst into laughter again, leading the baby with her.

"The day I'm gonna introduce her to slushies..." The blonde prayed to the skies, shaken by giggles.

"You do that, you're so dead Fabray." Santana threatened, removing the bubbles from her shirt.

...

People all around Brittany were sound asleep. Some lights were still on, some insomniacs or people afraid of flying were still up, just like her. She peeked all around, it was so calm. She looked in her bag for a pen and paper.

"Shit! I forgot it!" She whispered to herself. She so wanted to write, she had this inspiration running through her veins, but she forgot, oh well... sad about leaving she forgot her notebook. She pressed the button to call a stewardess.

"Yes M'am?"

"Hey, do you have something I could write on, please?"

"Hm..."

"Like a pad, loose sheets, something like that?

"Okay, I'll try my best!" The nice stewardess left with a smile. She came back quickly, with a pad that seemed to have already been used. "This is all we have!"

"Oh that's perfect! Thank you so much."

"Good writing, M'am." She left.

Brittany uncapped her pen, braced herself and started to write.

_Dear beloved Santana,_

"Hm." She crossed that out.

_Dear beloved Santana,_

_My Love, _

_I haven't written for so long. How long? Years, probably. You remember when I used to write you love letters I would send you on tours. I used to write them before going to bed, that was when I missed you the most. Not to be able to touch you, without your breath rocking me to sleep, I just miss you so much. Already. _

_You know, I should write you letters more often. I forgot the feeling of writing them, my pounding heart before I write each word. I hope you'll like them, they'll make you smile, maybe you'd feel the hole I have in my heart._

_I remember my letters, back then. They would sound so silly now. Now, we have responsibilities, we have to keep things going to insure our baby's future. Everything seems so important now. Everything we do is for her, I can see it. How we've changed, both of us. I see you everyday, more relaxed, perkier, and I'm loving you each day a little more. The way you're changing, the way you're turning into another kind of Santana. You're opening up to the world; you even stopped cursing at people while driving. That's a massive change, isn't it? _

She laughed softly.

_I see you blossom more and more, and all I can think of is, what will come next, my love? How surprising will you be next? No matter what, I'll stand by you, you know that. You were right, at our wedding. Everyday I wake up to different Santana and I fall more in love everyday with this amazing stranger who lightens my days. But tomorrow, when I get off of this plane, I'll wake up to an empty bed. I hate those cold empty beds. _

Her emotions started to feel frustrated; words didn't flow fast enough from her pen.

_I just love you, okay. I love you all the fucking time, so much sometimes I have to remember that life has to go on, and I have to stop dreaming. Cause this dream never ends. You know when I love you the most? Right after cuddles, when you lay face down, when I can let my eyes wander over your skin. I always pretend you don't, but you do have stretch marks, right on your hips. I say you don't to reassure you, I know how much you hate those things. But you do have some and I freaking love them, they're like a poem written on your skin. A very delicate handwriting your skin drew itself, a quiet love song written down, just for me. Oh, and these very tiny wrinkles that are starting to show on the corner of your eyes, when you smile. When you come, too. The growing ghost of all the laughter we shared, they are happy wrinkles. How could I not love them, though? Please don't botox them, I love need this daily reminder of how happy we are, they mean everything to me. I love seeing your face fine down. Now almost all your youthful prettiness is gone, there's only your charisma left, warm and bewitching. We stopped growing up when our angel came into our lives, now we're getting older. I have stopped writing with crayons! We will start counting our showing wrinkles, we will love our bodies that lived, full of scars and marks, and I will love you for your every flaw. They lighten your aura, the one that has me under its spell. _

_How screwed am I? For loving someone for her flaws? Those flaws I can count on my fingers because there are so few, those flaws that draw on your face time on the lam. One day, I'll close my eyes and wake up to us, old and all about grey hair, and I'm pretty sure I'll find your particular shade of grey fascinating, one of a kind, the kind I will love more than anything. _

_I love you more than anyth-_

"M'am, we're landed, please put your tablet back." The stewardess came back.

"Okay!" Brittany finished writing her word, folded her letter and put it in her bag.

As the plane landed at the airport, she turned her phone on. Phones rang everywhere, she definitely wasn't the only one worried what might be on her phone. Hers rang too, she hoped for a text from Santana.

_**From Quinn  
><strong>_"_Look what I found when getting here!"_

She melted at the picture attached, Santana all covered in puree and bath bubbles and her baby laughing her heart out in her bath.

_**From Santana  
><strong>_"_Miss you already... I'm going to bed, not sure I'll find any sleep but oh well. Sophia repainted the kitchen tonight; you should have seen that, I even found puree in my bra! Maybe when you come back, a whole garden would have grown on my boobs haha. Anyway, call me when you've landed, even if it's late. I love you, my sweet fraulein... :)"_

She knew Santana probably sent the text all curled up under the covers, cold and feeling lonely. She was sure that her wife had left her phone on the bedside cabinet, at the highest sound level, just in case. She peeked at her watch; it indicated 4 in the morning, American time. She decided not to call her that late but send a text instead.

_**To Santana  
><strong>__"Landed in Germany! Miss u 2 hon, try 2 get some sleep. Luv u"_

...

"When do we meet your prince charming? Not that I'm curious but it's been almost a year now, I think he should be introduced to the tribe at this point, don't you think?" Santana challenged Chloe, playing by the Pierce's sofa with Sophia.

"Huh what about... _No_." Chloe spat from another sofa, reading her tabloids.

"Why that? Are you gonna break up with him soon or?"

"No! Gosh no, I'm fond of him but... I don't know..."

"... Are you ashamed of us?" Chloe laughed.

"No, not at all, it's just that... I don't feel ready, okay. It's a huge deal to introduce him to the folks, I really love him, I don't want to rush things or anything, you know."

"Well, you could invite him at our house, like just you guys, Britt and I. I really want to meet him Chloe!"

"Yeah, you're right. I can't seem to be able to make him meet my parents but I'm gonna take him to my celeb of a sister and her iconic wife. Makes sense." Chloe looked up from her magazine and stared perplexed at her. Santana chuckled.

"You know we're not like that."

"But he doesn't know that. He might still believe you sleep on a bed full of bank bills so..."

"So he's an ass?" Santana joked, "I thought you had better self-esteem."

"I thought that about my sister too, but look what she came home with-" Santana threw one of Sophia's toys at Chloe. "Ouch! It must be a family thing!" Santana threw another. "HEY! I ain't no basket girl!"

"You're as stupid as one!" Santana laughed. Sophia started to pout, forecasting a big cry. "No, don't cry babydoll, mama will give you your toys back!" Chloe threw them back on Santana with a smirk. "Or Auntie _B.I.T.C.H_ will give them to you." She spelled laughing. She took one off the floor and gave it back to her with a kiss on her head. Sophia took a little rubber duck instead, that seemed all worn.

"Mommhhmmomom..." She babbled. Santana made a face.

"What's wrong?" Chloe softly asked.

"She misses Britt. That's Britt's duck. _Huh baby, that's Mommy's duck!_"

"Mommhhmmomom..." She kept babbling.

"I didn't know she had kept her stuff from when she was a baby. I thought I destroyed everything." Chloe giggled.

"Oh but it's her high-school rubber duck. I gave it to her for her birthday."

"Is this some kind of a sick joke? To let your daughter play with it, I mean..."

"Gosh no, Chloe! I just got her that one for her duck collection. She engraved our initials on it when we started dating." She took the toy from the little girl's hands and showed Chloe a scrunched little heart with their initials in it on the duck's back. "See..."

"Cute!"

"I know." Santana chuckled and gave the toy back. "She gave it to Soph' and now she just can't let go of it when she misses Brittany."

"Mommhhmmomom..." Sophia kept repeating, hearing her mom's name.

"Oh I get it, her 'momomom' stands for 'Mommy'?

"Chlo, you're so slow to understand!"

"She's going to talk soon! It kinda sounds like actually, she's just missing the 'y'!"

"Yeah, that's Britt's and my favorite squabble, who will she clearly call first! Ha!" Santana laughed.

"With your luck, she's gonna say 'daddy'." Chloe took a second to realize what she just said, and at the thought, she burst into laughter. "Oh my god, that'd be so glorious! Say 'daddy' Sophia! Come on, say 'daddy', 'da...dy'!" She told the little girl with a reassuring smile, as if she was starting a new very funny game.

"Dahhdahhhdhdaa..."

"Stop it!" Santana poked her leg, as close as she could reach without letting go of her baby.

"Listen, she's close! 'Da-dy'!" After making sure Sophia would be okay on her own for two seconds, Santana stood up and ruffled Chloe's hair, making the blonde almost fall from the sofa.

"Stop the violence!" Julie passed by, with stuff to clean the house in her hands.

"She said Damian was an ass!" Chloe pouted loudly.

"And you're trying to pervert my child remember!" Santana ruffled her even more.

"Stop it!" Chloe pleaded, laughing so hard.

"Seriously girls!" Julie came to separate them. "You're unbelievable; you're 30 and 22 and still behave worse than this poor child!" She couldn't manage to separate them with one hand so she sprayed them with glass cleaner, which made them stop right away.

"Mom!" Chloe protected her eyes.

"I'm 29, still in my twenties!" Santana laughed, getting back on her feet and tidying her hair.

"Yeah, Grandma' doesn't need her dentures just yet!"

"Chloe, stop messing!" Julie chided and Santana stuck her tongue out, sitting back by her daughter, highly amused by the ruffle.

"Mommhhmmomom!" Sophia asked her mom. It usually was Brittany messing with her sister, and Julie coming between her two daughters. Usually, Santana was saying mean words fueling the fight. As everyone else around, Sophia too felt someone was missing.

"I know, me too, I miss Mommy too, babydoll..." Santana sighed.

"We all miss her." Julie sighed too. Julie hated knowing Brittany was away, especially that far away. She was a real mother hen, she couldn't help it. She loved when her daughters were adventurous, exploring, but if they could do that closer to home, it was perfect.

"Will you go to Germany though?" Chloe asked, not kidding at all anymore.

"Yeah, I'm leaving next week. I can't stand it anymore."

"She only left five days ago." Chloe's tone was tainted with mockery.

"Yeah I know..." Santana said with a sweet smile, aware of how whipped she was. "But Sophia misses her just as much as I do. And Carla can manage at the studio on her own. So yeah, we're leaving."

"You'll kiss her for me, will you?" Julie asked tenderly. "I miss her sweet face..."

"You know Mom; my offer to explain Skype to you is still on the table..." Chloe proposed.

"No, no, no. I'd break the computer like last time." Julie laughed. "How long will you be gone?" She asked Santana.

"Probably two weeks. Maybe more, I don't know... I'll figure it out when I get there."

...

"So..." Carla said in a sultry voice, "It's on for tonight?" Puck smirked, bending from his chair in the recording room.

"I booked a table in that restaurant you liked so much last time."

"And after, my place?" She kept charming him with her bright smile, a deep voice and velvet looks. She gently uncrossed her legs; she just couldn't stop hitting on him. He had this effect on her she couldn't get rid of, as if he inspired her wildness and freedom. She sure was addicted to that feeling.

"For God's sake, do that somewhere else!" Santana spat passing by the recording room. Carla folded her legs right back. "Carla, I need you to go get the studio's turnover at the accounting firm, I have a meeting with the investors before I leave."

"To hand in for-"

"Yesterday!" She firmly instructed. "Come on!" She gestured to Carla to go, which she did immediately, leaving Puck behind. They walked together through the corridors. "And while you're out, go to the PR office, I need the media plan for Sonny Mayer, and... Shit I forgot her name again."

"Molly LaRue?"

"Yes! I need those two."

"But hm, Santana, when are you leaving exactly, 'cause you kind of gave me a huge amount of stuff to do without deadlines, actually."

"Tomorrow, 4pm. I'm leaving for two weeks for sure, probably more."

"You're not serious." Carla started to freak out.

"I am, so you should rush _now_."

"Oh my god." Carla started to hop in the corridors.

"And Carla!"

"What did I forget?" She stopped running right away.

"If you really wanna drive him crazy, show him your boobs. He prefers boobs, huge boobs." Santana explained with a smile. Carla looked at her boobs, all hidden under a chic blouse.

"I'll need a push-up bra." Carla sighed.

"And kick one or two buttons off of your blouse."

"Got it. Thanks!"

"Hurry up!" She shook her hands playfully, her watch and bracelets clinking on her wrists.

Santana felt safe. Carla was still her employee, but somehow she became sort of her friend too. She knew she'd run her place like only Santana herself could and that she would find her studio all neat and all the work done when she came back. Because she knew that, she didn't really complain about her relationship with Puck. Carla, as did anyone else marvelously doing her job, deserved a little reward and besides the financial aspect, Santana decided to let her do all her flirting at the office, as long as it didn't interfere with her work and Carla was very aware of that.

After all, Santana had found her own balance with this new parameter, and since she was a mom, she tended to be a little more relaxed at the office, a little more playful with her employees. She shared a little more about her family, her own story, to everyone's delight, Carla first. The studio started to become a very large, loving, playful family.

...

Jet lag knocked Sophia out. She was sleeping deeply on her mom's shoulder as the car ride went by. Santana wasn't all that fresh either, and the light strokes she made on her daughter's back actually made her sleepy too. Fortunately, they didn't have far to go until they reached the hotel.

She was feeling so, so tired after a ten hours flight. It had been a while since Santana travelled; the last time was their honeymoon actually. Yawning, she wondered how she had managed, for so many years, to travel all the time and actually remain alive. Back then, she would have taken the ten hours, and jumped on stage for a rehearsal and a show. She would have taken another flight, and it was always the same insane day, over and over again. She had lived like time didn't matter. She hadn't all that energy, being almost 30 was of course different than being 25, but still, she didn't know where she had found all that strength back then.

But now, it was Brittany's turn to travel all around the world, and Santana to be at home waiting for Skype to ring. She hated it. She just simply hated it. When she was the one traveling, she was actually too busy working to spend time staring at the little green icon on her computer desktop, checking it once in a while to be sure she hadn't missed any calls. She hated to leave her laptop on all night, on her bedside cabinet; with the hope Brittany would give her a call. She knew her wife very well, she knew Brittany would never call at crazy hours, she'd rather wait to be sure to call at a decent hour when Santana was awake for sure, to make sure not to disturb Sophia's and Santana's daily routine.

Santana had thought of everything. She and Sophia had a very short night in the plane, but whatever, she just wanted it to be perfect. She had waited for Brittany to call her, around 3PM, after a long day and night of shooting. She knew Brittany would be exhausted; she would go to bed early. She made sure to book a flight that would let them reach the hotel around 7 in the morning, right before Brittany would wake up. Her master plan didn't fail. When they finally got to the hotel, the place was still very calm. Only few men wearing black suits, businessmen on the go, crowded the hotel lobby. The front desk was still empty, so Santana's taxi driver had to help her put her luggage against the desk, waiting for someone to come. She kept ringing the little bell. Someone ran from an opened door behind the desk, carrying his mug full of coffee.

"Guten tag!" The man said, hurriedly putting his coffee next to his computer.

"Yeah, guten hm... Hello? English?"

"Of course Madam. How can I help you?"

"Hi, I'm looking for Brittany Pierce, please."

"I don't have any Brittany Pierce." Santana's eyes went wide.

"Yes, you do!" The man focused on his screen, checking again. He actually didn't recognize Santana, which she appreciated. That was what she loved the most about traveling; on the other side of the planet, they were people that didn't know who she was, and they treated her like anyone else.

"I'm sorry, Madam..." Santana thought about what assumed name Brittany could have taken. For more privacy, Santana had always taken one when she had been away, and for fun, she had taken very weird ones. But Brittany, with her colorful mind... She wasn't sure at all about what she might have chosen.

"Anybody called Brittany at all?"

"Hm. Lopez?"

Santana asked Brittany before their wedding to not use hyphenated names. She wanted to be called Pierce and Pierce only. She wanted to write Mrs. Santana Pierce everywhere, so proud of being finally married to her; after all they had been through. And on a practical matter, even if the idea of a Brittany S. Pierce-Lopez was seducing, she would rather not. Because of all the fame she had been through and where it had led them, she didn't want people to reduce her to being Santana's wife, wearing her name and her fame on her shoulders. No, she didn't want that. At home, she was more than happy being Santana Pierce, Brittany S. Pierce's wife. Santana was whipped, that wasn't up for discussion.

However, she had hard time being called Mrs. Pierce at work; when it was about music, people kept calling her Lopez, and she quickly threw in the towel. In the meantime, nobody ever tried to call Brittany 'Lopez', or at least, she had never told her about that happening. So when the man in front of her casually said she might be calling herself that, Santana couldn't hold in her laugh.

"Yeah, that's the one I'm looking for." The man didn't really understood why she was laughing. He grabbed his phone.

"Who do I announce?"

"Could you just tell me which room she's in, it's a surprise actually."

"We don't do that, that's against the rules Madam."

"I'm her wife." She insisted. "And it wouldn't be very nice of you to let this little angel sleep in one of those chairs over there after a ten hour flight, until my wife wakes up, would it?" She waved to the large chairs in the lobby, cold and drafty because of the entrance doors pushed open every three seconds.

"I understand Madam, but I can't allow strangers in our hotel, that's our policy."

"I'm not a stranger, I'm her wife." She sighed, exasperated and tired. She thought about how she could manage to convince the man. "Hold on." She set a sleeping Sophia on the front desk, with her head resting on her shoulder so she wouldn't fall when she turned around. Then she looked in her purse for their passports to show the man. "Look, Santana Pierce, middle name Lopez and..." She flickered through Sophia's, "Sophia Pierce." I can leave them with you if you're afraid you might be in trouble with your superiors, I don't mind. I can grab them back later, when _my_ wife is up."

"Hm."

"Please, I just want to put my daughter in bed, she's all tuckered out." The man kept hesitating, but touched by Sophia's situation, he decided he should give it a go.

"Okay one second, I'll see if my superior is already in the hotel, to allow me to do it."

"Thank you." She sighed, Brittany was just a few floors up and proceedings were keeping her from seeing her soul-mate. That was just not fair at all. The man talked in German on the phone, and she heard her name and Brittany's once in a while.

"You can go Madam. She's in room 214, second floor."

"Thank you... Do you still want my passport for your superiors?"

"No it's fine, thank you. My apologies. My superior told me who you are and-"

"Don't worry; it's all good, I understand." She said with a smile, putting her purse back on her shoulder, and Sophia fully back in her arms.

"Someone is coming to get your luggage, you can go. He'll bring them to your room in a minute. Elevators are over there and this is the pass to open the door."

"Amazing! Thanks!" She left with a smile, leaving her luggage behind.

"Have a nice day Madam."

"Baby, we're gonna see Mommy! Wake up babydoll!" She shook her baby gently as she kept yawning.

She finally got her to wake up a little, the elevator ride helping some. Santana quickly found Brittany's door, and opened it making absolutely no sound. The irrational fear to discover in her room something she wouldn't like at all stuck to her heart, it kept drumming again and again loudly in her chest.

The door opened to quite a large room, a living-room actually. Santana thought Brittany might have booked the best room in the hotel, it indeed looked like the best suite. She put Sophia in a chair for a second, paying a lot of attention not to make any noise, got rid of her coat and Sophia's, kicked off their shoes. She looked around to find which door lead to the bedroom. She noticed one ajar. Grabbing Sophia back, she decided to try that one.

Brittany was deep in sleep, all curled up on the left side of the bed, her usual side. On the bedside cabinet, she had set a little frame of the three of them. When Santana saw it, she couldn't keep her smile from growing larger.

"Go cuddle Mommy." She whispered to Sophia, barely audible. She helped the little girl crawl on the bed towards her mom and Sophia hugged her right away. Brittany startled.

"What the f- Sophia!" Brittany's smile broke through her sleepiness, her eyes went wide as she held the little girl in her arms and kissed her everywhere. "My baby..." Santana giggled, which made her wife look up.

"Hello Brittany." She said in a sultry voice. She sat by the edge of the bed and bent to kiss her with all her heart. Holding her baby tight, Brittany happily complied, a sweet emotion filling her sleepy mind.

"Hello stranger in my room." The blonde chuckled as she kissed her, again and again. "Come..." She slightly pulled the sheets so Santana could come cuddle. Feeling her again, Brittany's warm skin, her sweet perfume, her smile, all she had missed, even for just a few days, Santana couldn't get over it.

"I knew you'd end up with some random stranger in your bed." Santana joked, making the blonde laugh.

"I'm so happy you're here... I seriously thought you wouldn't come to me that fast..."

"I couldn't wait." Santana admitted, her cheeks blushing. "Didn't you miss me?"

Brittany just giggled at the obvious answer. Actually, Santana didn't know it yet, but Brittany had under her pillow one of Santana's shirts and one of Sophia's small cuddly blankets, two sweet things she needed with her. When the days started to fade, when she knew she would spend the whole night missing them in her dreams, she would just hold them against her and sleep like that, holding on tight to the only things she could take with her to remember them by.

Later, when Santana would nod off on the same pillow, waiting for Brittany to come back, she would slide a hand under and find her shirt, the one she looked everywhere for back home. She would smile, because even years after, Brittany and Santana still acted like teenagers. She would remembered when she used to steal one of her girlfriend's shirts back in college when she missed her so badly, or when she was in a naughty mood, she just stuffed one of her panties in Brittany's bag, a sign that a very hot night was planned for them later. It would feel good to see that years later, nothing had really changed.

"Do I even need to answer?" Brittany softly said. Her alarm-clock rang. "Bummer..." Brittany turned it off, pouting. "Now I really don't want to go..."

"Don't worry about us, we have our whole day planned." Santana smiled tenderly, showing Sophia already snoring on Brittany's shoulder. "When will you come back, love?"

"Oh we shoot easy scenes today, might be done quickly. I hope so."

"With Annette?"

"No," Brittany laughed. "With the little boy. Annette's not there, she has the day off."

"Oh okay." Santana faked a peaceful tone, her jealousy still burning very deep in her heart. Brittany granted her a long and tender kiss that melted Santana's heart.

"Sleep well love..." Brittany said, putting Sophia in a comfortable position on the pillows and getting up. "I'll ask the hotel to come set up a bed for her later." She bent to kiss her again, and again. "I missed you, Santana."

"Me too, honey."

"No, I _missed_ you." She insisted, filling her words with warmth, smirking the whole time. Santana stared deeply into her smouldering eyes.

"I'll ask the hotel boy to set her bed in the living room."

"Now you got me." Brittany laughed.

...

"_He's my son Ulrich!"_ Annette yelled, going down the outside stairs of an old house, her character's rage showing in her face. It was very clear she totally was in her character. Santana watched her from a tent far behind. She thought she was even thinner, her cheekbones were showing, her collarbone seemed to tear off from her skin. She looked like she was actually living in War times, not fed enough, disheveled, and it wasn't all because of her makeup. Even her hair had lost its silky waves. She was filled with Greta's part; there were no doubt about that. It happened sometimes, when the actor got lost in his part that for few months, his whole body and mind changed into what they were supposed to play. It was a very clear indication of a master-piece in the making.

"_You think it's easy for me to admit our son is stupid, really?"_

"_He's not stupid, he's deaf! We have to fight for him! We can't leave him on his own, he's gonna die! He's gonna get enlisted and he's gonna die!" _

"_We have to save ourselves Greta, we can't afford to save him too..." _Annette slapped the actor playing her husband, leaving on his cheek the reddish ghost of her brutal fingers. A few long seconds went by, the actors breaths and the cold wind putting rhythm in them.

"Cut! Yes! That's what I'm talking about!" Brittany exclaimed over their performance.

The fact was that Annette led the movie, undoubtedly. She had this sick strength only despair could give, committed body and soul to give the performance of a lifetime. Santana didn't like her, but she was forced to admit that her acting, sublimated by Brittany's ability to make talent shine, would make a deep impression on the movie industry. Santana had to admire her work, but she made a point to keep her admiration on a strictly professional basis.

"Okay everybody, we're good for this morning, everyone go eat and we start scenes 15 after." Brittany yelled into a megaphone. The actors left the stairs, and assistants rushed to give them coats. Brittany took off her headphones, and stretched a bit, she was also under a lot of emotions. Santana took her daughter playing on the tent floor and went by her wife.

"Wow, she gave it all!" She was surprised too.

"Tell me about it, sometimes I'm so lost in the scene I forget to cut it." The blonde barely joked.

"Mommhhmmomom..." Sophia babbled. With a chuckle, Brittany grabbed her from her wife's arms and cuddled her.

"I missed you _so_ _much_, baby..."

"Look who's here!" Annette said happily, coming over to them. "It's good to see you again Santana!"

"Hello Annette." She said with a smile, not really sincere.

"And you brought the little angel! Hi Sophia, I'm Annette, very nice to meet you." She cooed, shaking the little girl's hand. "How long are you staying Santana? I hope this time; we'll see you around for a while!"

Sophia seemed to like her already, she smiled right away. Her blue eyes were indeed mesmerizing, and Sophia, as did everybody else, fell for her charms. Santana just sighed; she was now the only woman in the world that hated Annette Kaiser. She was actually beyond happy to be there; this way, she could watch the enemy in her natural element, and protect her family from any kind of manipulating sweetness. She was sure Annette was a charming lady as well as a manipulative bitch that would use all her charms to get what she wanted. After all, no German actress could possibly succeed in the American industry without that kind of help. Everything indicated she should fear the blonde.

"I don't know yet, several weeks probably."

"Good!" Annette started with a bright smile. It was obvious; Annette was too sweet to be real. "What about a hug?" She asked the little girl, holding her hands out, but Sophia curled up against Brittany. She just missed her Mommy too much. The three adults laughed. "Never mind, another day!"

"_Pierce's family, 1 point - German whore, 0."_ Santana thought and giggled on her own.

...

Santana loved being there; she actually didn't go very often to a set, apart from music videos. She adored watching her wife working, in her element. Not to disturb her, she took her daughter on a tour on set; she showed her daughter everything, joking with actors waiting for their scenes, the makeup artists between takes. When she came back close to Brittany, at the end of a take, she stared at her wife. Brittany's eyes seemed somehow wet, moved by what she was directing. In front of her, a heartbreaking scene with Greta and her son, them against the whole world. Santana peeked at the assistants, the extras, everybody. Everybody seemed to be into that scene, the sixth take of something overwhelming. She guessed Brittany managed to push Annette and Brady into their deepest fears, forcing them into some sort of a trance.

When Brittany shouted "Cut!" silence filled the set. It was clear they wouldn't shoot another take, this was the one. Brady dried the fake tears on his cheeks, they were at least supposed to be fake but who knew. He came by Brittany. She hugged him, like a mother would hug her son. She kissed the boy on his head and stroked his back, the exact same things she would do to their daughter, once she was older. She hugged him for a minute, two, three. The moment seemed to never end.

"_It was fantastic."_ She encouraged the little boy who read her lips.

She kept hugging him, rocking back and forth. Considering how bound the director and the little actor seemed, Santana guessed he must have had some backstory she wasn't aware of, something Brittany knew he used to reach such an intense level of acting. Brittany went to grab the boy's chin to talk to him in the eye.

"_Tomorrow's the tap dancing scene. It's gonna be fun! Come on buddy, push all your memories back in for today... You did amazing..."_

Santana was moved, but not by the scene. She was deeply moved to see her care about an older boy. It was like seeing Brittany ten years later taking care of their own child, a skip to the future when cuddles wouldn't be enough to reassure Sophia, when they would have to talk to her cleverly to erase all her doubts about life itself. Brittany obviously drew her view for this movie from her inner experience as a mother. The expression sticking to her features was like a paler reminiscent from the expression she had during Sophia's first days. Her deep, tender, overwhelmed heart shining through her looks.

She pictured how hard it would have been for Brittany to be away from her family after days like this. She herself couldn't have made it.

...

Santana was working on her computer, in Brittany's suite desk room. She flickered through demos Carla had sent, her headphones on her ears. She harassed Carla with dozens of emails, but she wanted to get her work done fast before the evening started to really kick in. Back in America, Carla wouldn't be at the office yet, she would come in all cool and find a complete mess in her inbox that would made her freak the hell out. Yes, it was hard work to be Santana Lopez's assistant, even if Carla tended to look more like an associate than an assistant lately.

Carla would probably jump on her phone to get details, but Santana had already turned it off, determined to spend the night with her family all together, peacefully and calmly. She listened to the last demo, sent her last email and stuffed her laptop back in its bag.

She tiptoed through the hotel suite, happy to have finished off all the work. She softly pushed the bedroom door open, and found Brittany and Sophia cuddling on the bed, just as planned. However, it seemed Brittany had been crying.

"You okay, love?" Santana hurried to her, worried.

"Yeah, yeah..." She dried her tears.

"Tell me."

"No, it's nothing, it's stupid."

"Tell..." She insisted, with a sweet nod.

"It's just that I was thinking about if Soph had been in Wilhelm's position. I just stupidly switched the situations and it made me cry."

Brittany was just so cute, holding her baby with her dried caring tears. This movie touched her soul, Brittany had guessed it would but feeling it at this time, overwhelmed her a bit. She felt this movie would somehow change her life. Even if it wouldn't be successful, even if critics take it down, she knew she would have made it for herself, for Annette, for people's minds and that was what really mattered. This movie was becoming a key point in her life and the adrenaline of the moment was rushing in her veins.

"Babe..." Santana laid by them and gave her the most reassuring look. "Soph' will have a really happy life, you know that."

"Well... At least we'll do everything we can so she will."

"Exactly. Imagine... her first day of school, how happy she'll be!" Santana tried to ease her wife with sweet plans for a bright future.

"But why do you want to take my baby away?" Brittany half-kidded, cuddling her daughter closely.

"She'll be so happy, with new friends, splashing paint everywhere on the teachers, for once it won't be on us!"

"And she'll come back home with beautiful paintings we'll hang on the fridge." Brittany laughed. Her wife was pretty attached to her interior, all about design furniture and bright colors. Of course she would love how creative her daughter would be, but Brittany guessed what she feared the most was their home turning into a museum of artsy-crafty horrors, specializing in unsteady pottery.

"I kinda hoped we could hang them in her room..." The brunette tried.

"We're putting them on the fridge." Brittany insisted, smiling despite her eyes still a bit puffy from crying. How was Santana supposed to resist her, looking all morose. She sighed.

"Okay, fine... But the macaroni bead necklaces are all for you! I'll make do with the Mother's day greetings cards and stuff."

"Oh my god, her teachers will hate us, twice the work for Mother's day!" They laughed. "I had never thought about that before!"

"See, this is all we have to worry about, her teachers being crazy with greetings cards." Santana said in her softest voice. She raised her hand to wipe away Brittany's tears and caress her cheek.

"You're right... She'll be a lively kid who won't fail to surprise us every day..." She lay on her back and made the baby sit on her lap. She bounced her to entertain her. Sophia, her dark blue eyes staring back, was all calm, playing with her cuddly blanket. "What are you holding for us, huh, baby girl?" She asked her, "What crazy stuff do you have in store for us?"

"50 bucks she'll ask us for a cat. She has to; she's your daughter after all!" Santana giggled.

"Lord Tubbington Junior! We should totally get one now while she's small, so she'll grow up with him an-"

"Hold on, I said she'd ask us for it, not that I agreed to get one!" She warned right away. "Imagine if he claws her or something, no, no... I totally veto that!"

"Maybe she'll ask us for a puppy instead..." She teased.

"I can get her dolls, makeup or toy soldiers, I don't care what she's in to, but I veto anything slobbering on her, or just anything requiring to be fed."

"What about brothers and sisters?" Santana chuckled at her wife's wink. Silence prevailed for few seconds.

Talking about motherhood ten hours a day had of course put some ideas in Brittany's head. She had made these young children play on screen, she had to deal with them as a director but it was Brittany after all, everything she did was touched by emotion. In a very short time, she had become the set's mom, a director talking to her actors with the same care mothers had, the same determination to make them shine in their art, in their life. She had scolded the actors, adults or children, as if she had been talking to her own children.

She had changed, her coworkers had felt it, Brittany too. She had been very aware of how the way she supervised people had suddenly turned from favors to orders. Her sense of responsibility had changed, she had gained a brand new voice; when Brittany used to direct her actors like friends, reaching them with jokes and her easy mood, she was now watching after them, scolding and rewarding when they did good. She had felt, very clearly, that she had reached another level in her art. She had finally found what she lacked before, this strength to protect her actors, her projects, this visceral need to provide the best for them.

This babydoll, with her dark blue eyes and her curly hair, had filled their lives on so many levels, much more than Santana and Brittany could have expected. Away from her family for a few days, Brittany had harped on her life before Sophia, and had been forced to admit everything was about or maybe already changed. She had been pleased to feel how it had sublimated everything they were, Santana and her.

How Santana had lost the underlying anger sticking to her heart since what had seemed like forever. How she herself had found a new kind of energy embellishing her talent even more. And it was all because of this little girl babbling sweet words and granting tender smiles.

Directing her young actors, those children she treated like her own blood, she had felt like having a larger family. She had pictured herself back home, scolding her sons and daughters to get to school on time when her actors weren't ready to shoot, congratulating her children getting great grades when her actors did really good with a scene, hugging all her children after bad nightmares when her actors were troubled with too strong emotions for their immature hearts.

She had found herself transposing everything, every single situation adapted to her routine back home. Once, Brittany had even laughed in her bed, on the edge of sleeping, wondering where this weird habit she had just gained had come from. She had very quickly found out where it all started. Deep down in her unconsciousness, the fact she had a sister was echoing, all her memories with her sister brought her happy childhood to light. It had spurred her desire to have a larger family. The seed of a bigger family grew in her mind.

"That's another story..." Santana cut and shyly tried to change the subject of the conversation. "I fought with Chloe the other day, she said Soph' would say 'daddy' first." Brittany laughed.

"She's so mean sometimes. _Mommy, say Mommy!_" She told her little girl.

"Mommhhmmomomeee..."

"Ah! She's getting closer!" Brittany smiled wide.

"I'll spend the whole day tomorrow training her saying "Mama", I tell you, I'm serious." Santana spat, so jealous.

"Mommhhmmomomeee..."

"Okay, we get it sweetheart!" Santana grumbled, softly nevertheless.

"She's gonna say "Mommy" first." Brittany teased. "You know that, look how close she is."

"Say "Mama" baby, "Ma-ma"!"

"Mommhhmmomomeee..." Santana crossed her arms on her chest, and pouted, so very jealous.

"And this is what I get for pushing her out, you know I deserve better than that! That was one hell of a thing to do!" She almost accused, pointing at Brittany.

"I think she's actually being fair San, you got to hold her first, she says my name first... It's a tie!"

"When you say it like that..." Santana admitted with a chuckle. "Anyway, I don't mean to be a party-pooper but I'm kinda hungry... Wanna go?"

"Yeah totally, I'm starving. _Who's gonna give you some very yummy food?_ Huh little angel?" Brittany cooed with an excited face.

"Mommhhmee..."

"HA! She said it!" Brittany started. "Good girl Sophia, what a very good girl!"

"I hate you."

* * *

><p><em><strong>-THE END-<strong>_

* * *

><p><em>There we go... That was the final chapter of the story. I've been writing it for 6 months and it was an amazing journey. You made me laugh so hard with your comments and reviews, when you were mad at Britt for leaving or at Santana when she was being a bitch :D I hope this end isn't disappointing... <em>  
><em>It's been discussed on Tumblr that I might write a sequel. It all depends on you guys, so if you want me to actually write it, shout it in the reviews or on tumblr and then I'll figure it out :)<em>

_Massive thanks to my betas Jen and Nessie who were so awesome in helping me hide the Frenchness sticking to my writing, you were such sweethearts!_

_In the meantime, I've started another story called "Midnight Screening", so I'm still sticking around if you need your weekly shot of my Brittana babes ;)_  
><em>Okay now I'm off... *Gone crying in a little corner of my room* <em>


	21. Author's note

For those interested, I just posted a sequel (called Love Grows). Check out my profile and enjoy :)


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